I got my feelings hurt.

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  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    I feel like there is a lot of information being left out.

    Me too...

    More words may help here.
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
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    So you don't want your own husband to speak the truth? I don't think he said it in a mean way if that's how the conversation went. Do you need things to always be sugar coated? I'd be more offended if it was a comment from a stranger.
  • mrsdenno82
    mrsdenno82 Posts: 13
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    Case in Point. I am married to the biggest, bearded, mossy oak wearing, *kitten* scratching, tabacco spitting, lifted jeep driving, hunting, fishing, gun shooting, cussing, greasy t-shirt wearing man God has had the nerve of creating. He is also extremely sensitive to my feelings and very complimenting.

    But, he did NOT come out of the box like that. There was assembly required. It took time and communication. People don't read minds. You should tell him exactly how it made you feel. No yelling, try not to cry and explain it clearly.

    You might be surprised.
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    Who brought up the subject of lipo and tummy tucks to begin with? Were you talking about getting one? I'm not siding with him, I'm just curious.
  • catchkristi
    catchkristi Posts: 9 Member
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    Well maybe he only meant it with the same emphasis like "where did you get that scar" or "what happened to that fingernail." We girls add all this meaning to a comment that may have simply been a legitimate curiosity. Maybe he likes your stomach that way :) It's just a stomach after all.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    Don't read too much into it, maybe he was genuinely curious. People can be clueless sometimes about things they have little experience with. I do understand why it hurt your feelings, and yes it does hurt.. we want to be perfect in the eyes of the ones we love and our own. Little do we know how little these details matter to them :) Stay strong.
  • Basilin
    Basilin Posts: 360 Member
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    mistypile wrote: »
    That's right Lasmartchika. It wasn't from some random stranger. It was from my husband who knows that I am sensitive when it comes to body issues and should be telling me I'm beautiful no matter what.

    The part where he said that his ex didn't have problems is a red flag that he was going into the insensitive, no-filter zone. Sorry that you felt bad, but I trust you know your way around a relationship and these things happen. Try not to hold onto it too long!

    It sounds like now you are worried of what he thinks of your tummy where you weren't so worried before. So, ask him if it's an issue for him. That kind of question could be scary for both parties, but it's better to air things out sooner than later. If he is a decent man who loves you and is attracted to you no matter your "flaws", you shouldn't have anything to worry about. And I hope that is the man you married!
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
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    Original_Sinner wrote: »
    you married him, how did you handle issues when he asked you questions that made you sensitive in the past? handle it the same way.

    therapy, a nice talk, beheading....
    I like the way you think

  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    wait... you're 130 and need to lose more weight? How tall are you? You said it was excess skin. Excess skin is excess skin, not weight.

  • MistyinTN
    MistyinTN Posts: 78 Member
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    5'4 on a good day
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
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    FredDoyle wrote: »
    Nice man bashing. Don't you mean people suck or are insensitive sometimes? What happened to equality?

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure all people are capable of being insensitive. Not like women are ever rude or inconsiderate toward men or each other. It's just men. And they leave the toilet seat up. And they stink, are stupid, watch football, eat, sleep and crap.
  • pander101
    pander101 Posts: 677 Member
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    I agree that there is information being left out. That or possibly OP might just be a little to sensitive. I re-read the post and it doesn't say if he was being malicious or not. Extra skin is going to happen. Either get it removed, hope that it tightens up, or live with it and move on.

    I think the bigger issue is that you can't seem to communicate your feelings to him. He's not going to know he upset you unless you talk about it like an adult.
  • MistyinTN
    MistyinTN Posts: 78 Member
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    Women are sometimes rude and inconsiderate but in this situation it involved a man.
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
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    I'm so confused as to why this bothers you so much.

    Maybe your feelings being hurt weren't by him, but more about the insecurities you have with yourself.
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
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    How long have you been married? Your kids are from a previous marriage, so you had it when he married you. It can't really bother him that much if he was willing to marry you with loose skin. And I bet if I asked you to think about his flaws, you'd have no trouble thinking of a couple of them immediately. It's life. Nobody's perfect.
  • 50sFit
    50sFit Posts: 712 Member
    edited October 2014
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    sonjabowler wrote: »
    Don't you worry about that sweety, a little work in the gym and it'll tighten up after putting in the work. A little insensitive of him--but hey, men suck sometimes! :)
    ^^^^^^
    (*) YEP! (*)
    And it sounds like you guys were talking about it, and he was just being honest.
    Unless he was being mean, cut the guy some slack.
  • MistyinTN
    MistyinTN Posts: 78 Member
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    I think you're right.

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