Weight Loss opposite sex attention?

EskimoMark
EskimoMark Posts: 24
in Chit-Chat
Hey guys, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Why is it that girls tend to only recognize skinny people or athletic people as dating material? I honestly believe that once I lose weight I Will have trust issues. I have a friend named Gunnar, he went from 370 to 205 pounds in about a year, and suddenly girls who originally rejected him now are begging to go back to him.

How the hell do I deal with that? I don't think I can date a girl once I'm skinny because I know she likes me for my apperance. If she liked my personality, she could've went for me when I was fat.

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Replies

  • TossaBeanBag
    TossaBeanBag Posts: 458 Member
    edited October 2014
    Yeah, attention sucks so you better get fat, again. Got any money?
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    Yeah I could get a gold digger, but I want to actually feel a connection. But I don't understand why the *kitten* can't a girl realize that just because a dude is big or something doesn't mean he's a bad person.
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    become gay, guys only go after people for their personality.
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    Shame I'm not attracted to males.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    I never really liked men who were too chunky. Some lumber jack types can pull it off. Just personal preference. What's so wrong with girls liking you once you're thin? It shows you take care of yourself. And anyway, if you're meeting new women, how can you be sure someone new wouldn't have loved you at your higher weight?
  • cakebatter07
    cakebatter07 Posts: 814 Member
    There's no point in dating someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Personality matters A LOT, but there has to be attraction too. You can't help who you're attracted to, so don't get all butthurt at girls.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    cakebatter07 wrote: »
    There's no point in dating someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Personality matters A LOT, but there has to be attraction too. You can't help who you're attracted to, so don't get all butthurt at girls.

    butthurt. Never heard of that. Love it.
  • cakebatter07
    cakebatter07 Posts: 814 Member
    arditarose wrote: »
    cakebatter07 wrote: »
    There's no point in dating someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Personality matters A LOT, but there has to be attraction too. You can't help who you're attracted to, so don't get all butthurt at girls.

    butthurt. Never heard of that. Love it.

    Lol! Love your profile pic! Those curves girl!
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    arditarose wrote: »
    I never really liked men who were too chunky. Some lumber jack types can pull it off. Just personal preference. What's so wrong with girls liking you once you're thin? It shows you take care of yourself. And anyway, if you're meeting new women, how can you be sure someone new wouldn't have loved you at your higher weight?

    I know so, because It happened to me in the past. Long story short, I dropped to 220 from 300, girls noticed me. I became depressed realizing I'm only being noticed or praised because of the drop. Then some emotional abuse from people around me, and well, I'm back up here again.
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    cakebatter07 wrote: »
    There's no point in dating someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Personality matters A LOT, but there has to be attraction too. You can't help who you're attracted to, so don't get all butthurt at girls.

    While I agree here, males are more willing to lower standards to date someone. Women want a Brad Pitt or some supermodel and do not settle for less.
  • gail1961
    gail1961 Posts: 111 Member
    I think men are just as guilty (if not worse) of this as women. In my 20's and 30's I had NO problem getting dates when I was thin, but if I had extra weight on no dates. My husband is overweight and bald, just like when I met him and I am more in love with him today than when I met him 15 years ago! Just sayin'
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    gail1961 wrote: »
    I think men are just as guilty (if not worse) of this as women. In my 20's and 30's I had NO problem getting dates when I was thin, but if I had extra weight on no dates. My husband is overweight and bald, just like when I met him and I am more in love with him today than when I met him 15 years ago! Just sayin'

    Not true. Men are more likely to date heavier set females in comparison to vise versa.
    If you lowered your standards I feel you would have no issues prior meeting your husband.


  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    EskimoMark wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    I never really liked men who were too chunky. Some lumber jack types can pull it off. Just personal preference. What's so wrong with girls liking you once you're thin? It shows you take care of yourself. And anyway, if you're meeting new women, how can you be sure someone new wouldn't have loved you at your higher weight?

    I know so, because It happened to me in the past. Long story short, I dropped to 220 from 300, girls noticed me. I became depressed realizing I'm only being noticed or praised because of the drop. Then some emotional abuse from people around me, and well, I'm back up here again.

    Yeah? If I weighed 220-300 I wouldn't be getting as many stares either, even though I'd be the same person on the inside and would feel just as deserving of love. Life.
  • cakebatter07
    cakebatter07 Posts: 814 Member
    EskimoMark wrote: »
    cakebatter07 wrote: »
    There's no point in dating someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Personality matters A LOT, but there has to be attraction too. You can't help who you're attracted to, so don't get all butthurt at girls.

    While I agree here, males are more willing to lower standards to date someone. Women want a Brad Pitt or some supermodel and do not settle for less.

    That's BS and you know it. Stop complaining and work towards a healthier and better you.
  • lookin4gains
    lookin4gains Posts: 1,762 Member
    Your attitude is already negative from the start. Not all women are the same. Lose the weight and date. If you notice they are superficial, then move on. Ex to the next until you find what you want. But give women the benefit of the doubt and a clean slate when you start dating them. You can't blame a woman for being attracted to you and giving you attention when you're thin. If you are overweight, a lot of women relate that to a poor work ethic and laziness. It's brutal, but it's the truth. It's how society is these days. And that kind of impression may affect their thought on how a relationship will be with you. Also, losing weight should be for you, no one else.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    lookin4gains wrote: »
    Your attitude is already negative from the start. Not all women are the same. Lose the weight and date. If you notice they are superficial, then move on. Ex to the next until you find what you want. But give women the benefit of the doubt and a clean slate when you start dating them. You can't blame a woman for being attracted to you and giving you attention when you're thin. If you are overweight, a lot of women relate that to a poor work ethic and laziness. It's brutal, but it's the truth. It's how society is these days. And that kind of impression may affect their thought on how a relationship will be with you. Also, losing weight should be for you, no one else.

    Right, and spot on about being negative from the start. We don't like that.
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    lookin4gains wrote: »
    Your attitude is already negative from the start. Not all women are the same. Lose the weight and date. If you notice they are superficial, then move on. Ex to the next until you find what you want. But give women the benefit of the doubt and a clean slate when you start dating them. You can't blame a woman for being attracted to you and giving you attention when you're thin. If you are overweight, a lot of women relate that to a poor work ethic and laziness. It's brutal, but it's the truth. It's how society is these days. And that kind of impression may affect their thought on how a relationship will be with you. Also, losing weight should be for you, no one else.


    To be fair, I'm not negative at all. I'm just curious as to why all my potential interests end up in the same spot. In person, you would probably say I'm incredibly optimistic ( Least in public ). I haven't found a female yet that isn't superficial. Then why won't women give me a benefit of the doubt? It's one sided then.

    I can blame a women for that. Because work ethic, a 3.72 GPA, outgoing in terms of the job fields. I could argue losing weight is for myself, but to be honest, I don't mind losing weight FOR a girl, but I mind losing weight to GET a girl.
  • EskimoMark
    EskimoMark Posts: 24
    arditarose wrote: »
    lookin4gains wrote: »
    Your attitude is already negative from the start. Not all women are the same. Lose the weight and date. If you notice they are superficial, then move on. Ex to the next until you find what you want. But give women the benefit of the doubt and a clean slate when you start dating them. You can't blame a woman for being attracted to you and giving you attention when you're thin. If you are overweight, a lot of women relate that to a poor work ethic and laziness. It's brutal, but it's the truth. It's how society is these days. And that kind of impression may affect their thought on how a relationship will be with you. Also, losing weight should be for you, no one else.

    Right, and spot on about being negative from the start. We don't like that.

    It wouldn't make a difference if I approached you with an optimistic or pessimistic attitude because in the end you most likely will ignore me anyway.

  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    edited October 2014
    "I don't mind losing weight FOR a girl, but I mind losing weight to GET a girl. "

    what's the difference?
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
    EskimoMark wrote: »
    lookin4gains wrote: »
    Your attitude is already negative from the start. Not all women are the same. Lose the weight and date. If you notice they are superficial, then move on. Ex to the next until you find what you want. But give women the benefit of the doubt and a clean slate when you start dating them. You can't blame a woman for being attracted to you and giving you attention when you're thin. If you are overweight, a lot of women relate that to a poor work ethic and laziness. It's brutal, but it's the truth. It's how society is these days. And that kind of impression may affect their thought on how a relationship will be with you. Also, losing weight should be for you, no one else.


    To be fair, I'm not negative at all. I'm just curious as to why all my potential interests end up in the same spot. In person, you would probably say I'm incredibly optimistic ( Least in public ). I haven't found a female yet that isn't superficial. Then why won't women give me a benefit of the doubt? It's one sided then.

    I can blame a women for that. Because work ethic, a 3.72 GPA, outgoing in terms of the job fields. I could argue losing weight is for myself, but to be honest, I don't mind losing weight FOR a girl, but I mind losing weight to GET a girl.

    Dude, now this is going to take me a minute to process.


    I also can't believe you said you haven't met a woman who isn't superficial. That is asinine.

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