People on here need to stick to feedback the user asks for?!?!
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This site is full of cry-babies
As I say to my children: toughen up buttercup
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
But are they designed with a specific goal as this one is? Not usually. Just a free for all.Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.
lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.
I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
enerally, both in topic and functionality.
Go look at the bungie forums. LOL!0 -
levitateme wrote: »mommyrunning wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:
*I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.
*Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.
*Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.
*Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?
These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.
Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!
So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?
Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.
You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).
Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.
Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.
Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.
So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.
While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam
I especially don't understand this very common response. People being extrememly rude on other web sites is reason to be slightly less rude here?? Where is the logic in that?
And what in the world does your weight loss and bench pressing abilities have to do with anything?0 -
levitateme wrote: »mommyrunning wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:
*I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.
*Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.
*Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.
*Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?
These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.
Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!
So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?
Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.
You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).
Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.
Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.
Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.
So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.
While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam
What ends up turning me off is when I do try very hard to give an encouraging answer and then get an OP who turns defensive because they've just been told something they didn't want to hear. I'm not mean because I told you that walking isn't going to give you six pack ab or that eating 800 calories per day isn't enough food to sustain you while you train for a marathon. I'm trying to do you a favor by saving you a lot of wasted time and misery.
I really do enjoy helping people but I'll often end up avoiding the boards for a few weeks after enough of that.0 -
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moremuffins wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Yes, please flag my totally innocuous posts as abuse.
Pretty sure half the people in here use flags as the MFP version of a like button
That's what I'm beginning to believe. And, you got a "flag" for this post, too!0 -
How do you wash the benadryl down? If it ain't shine, it ain't time.
heh. I'll give $5 to anyone who goes there and posts that they gave their darling child some benadryl to help them go to sleep.hollydubs85 wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.
lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.
I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
Or babycenter.com forums.
I'm from Oklahoma....don't you mean whiskey?
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BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.-1 -
heh. I'll give $5 to anyone who goes there and posts that they gave their darling child some benadryl to help them go to sleep.hollydubs85 wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.
lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.
I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
Or babycenter.com forums.
I'm from Oklahoma....don't you mean whiskey?
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »mommyrunning wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »levitateme wrote: »Here are a few example of what I mean from my posts:
*I asked for a book with grocery lists and meal planner.
Reply: There's nothing you can't eat, you just need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight.
*Asked about a quick workout routine to tone up fast.
Reply: Buy a time machine. Should have started months ago.
*Asked about diseases that can cause weight gain.
Reply: You're looking for the easy way out.
*Asked for pre-made breakfast shake ideas (not something I had to make myself)
Reply: Couple thoughts. First, don't have time or don't want to make time?
These aren't the really mean ones calling me lazy and worthless. Jeez.
Not that bad but stay negative and on topic please!!!
So basically, you want people to do all the work for you and lie to you?
Until the terms of service state that you may not have an opinion, there really is no reason for these threads. I am not mean because I will tell you what is actually required to lose weight. Eat less, move more. Do it every day for a long time. It's not easy, but it's simple.
You don't need a grocery list, literally any food that fits your calories works. You can't "tone up" fast, you can lose fat through a calorie deficit and when the fat drops off you will be "toned" underneath. It takes me about 45 seconds to make my shake in the morning (protein powder, water, ice, instant coffee).
Honestly what I'm tired of on MFP are threads with people arguing about off-topic BS. Like "hey guys how do I paleo?" turns into 2 people arguing about how bad planet fitness is.
Nice example. At least I hope you were simply trying to provide an example of what the OP was talking about.
Hey guys, please make up a list of food I should eat, and also tell me how to work out, and where to buy my smoothies BUT DON'T TELL ME I SHOULD JUST FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF BECAUSE YOU DID. THAT'S MEAN AND RUDE AND ABUSIVE.
So tired of the crybabies on these forums dude. If you can't handle the internet, don't use public forums.
While I do think OP is taking some of the comments too personally I think you are being a bit hard on him and other new users. Calling people cyberbabies is uncalled for. For many people it takes time to learn to meal prep and how to do other things that will assist in weight loss. When starting out some people need step by step instructions to help them as they are still learning. Everyone starts at a different level. Some people grew up eating out almost every meal not knowing how to cook anything. Some people know how to cook but know nothing about nutrients or calorie counts. Some people know very little about exercise. They come to this site's message boards looking for tips/help to get started. Yes it's the internet but that's just an excuse for some people using the anonymity to be rude and sarcastic to others. "it's the internet" does not justify the rude behavior from some people. (and I don't mean the comments that are meant to be helpful but misunderstood)
This site is very tame compared to some forums I go to. People are very thin skinned here. They also think a differing opinion is an "attack." I really don't reply as much as I used to because I am tired of this attitude. I have reduced my BF% by 5% and increased my bench from 45 lbs to 100 lbs, but no one wants to listen to my advice because it isn't exactly what they want to hear delivered in a wrapped up box. So, I tend to just lurk and laugh at people and look at gifs. Good day, madam
I especially don't understand this very common response. People being extrememly rude on other web sites is reason to be slightly less rude here?? Where is the logic in that?
And what in the world does your weight loss and bench pressing abilities have to do with anything?
This common response is because I look at forums where people tell each other to go kill themselves, and no one bats an eye but here it's like "OMG he told me I might be miscalculating my peanut butter! ABUSE" lmao
And my weight loss and success as a weightlifter means my program is working, right? People ask questions because they want to be successful right? Would you rather have advice from a successful person or a failure?
You my dear, are honestly one of the most argumentative people on these forums, and I have seen you derail countless threads and make them about you. Now, please, STOP ATTACKING ME, I FEEL SO VIOLATED
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Naw, it's because you're special, and not all of us are special like you. lol.levitateme wrote: »And my weight loss and success as a weightlifter means my program is working, right? People ask questions because they want to be successful right? Would you rather have advice from a successful person or a failure?
QFT. That poster loves to argue for very little reason.You my dear, are honestly one of the most argumentative people on these forums, and I have seen you derail countless threads and make them about you. Now, please, STOP ATTACKING ME, I FEEL SO VIOLATED
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It is what it is.ONWARD BOUND!0
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If someone asked me face to face to recommend a book for a specific topic, my answer would be "I don't know of one" OR "I don't know of one, but I will ask around" OR, "here is one I found helpful". Why would I answer, you are too lazy? Or that you are looking for someone to do the work for you?
So YOU got it! Good for you. Now someone else is trying to get theirs. No need to be sarcastic. Would you give the same answer face to face?
If people would just think about how they would answer a question face to face instead of HIDING behind a computer screen and spouting sarcastic comments, the world would be a better place. Just cowardly!
If someone asked me to recommend a book on weight loss because they want to replicate my results, I'm going to tell them how I got my results and to save their money by not wasting it on some BS book that's going to tell them they have to 'eat only this' or 'avoid that'.
Since I've lost my weight, several people HAVE asked me how I did it. When I tell them I count calories and upped my activity level, the look of disappointment on their faces was painful to see - they so desperately wanted some MAGIC FORMULA. It's better to get them started down a sane path rather than have them try some voodoo method and give up altogether.
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If it's not important enough for you to learn it, why should I bother to teach it? Ultimately, your success depends on you, not anyone else.BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
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I think a bunch of different ideas and opinions are great. That is the best part of having a forum like this. You get ideas that you didn't have.
It is unfortunate that when people ask, "What do you do?" posters don't answer that question, but tell the OP things the OP probably already knows. I'm not sure if they switch it around in their heads or if they just want to repeat something everyone already knows.
There are many nasty comments around here, which is unfortunate. It could be such a helpful, supportive place...and is, sometimes.-3 -
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It's because, it really is that simple.It is unfortunate that when people ask, "What do you do?" posters don't answer that question, but tell the OP things the OP probably already knows.
Hey Dave, how did you lose 45 pounds?
I ate less, worked out more, did a triathlon, and stopped making excuses.
It's not magic one bit. Ya know?
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If you just want encouragement and positive feedback than that really should be what you ask for. Asking a question just invites people to answer it with what they think is correct whether or not it's what you want to hear.0
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I agree with the OPs first comment. Sometimes, you just want specific information and not a lecture. I saw a woman ask for people who do "clean eating" to give her advice the other day. She was blitzed with comments and questions and at least 95% of the posters don't practice "clean eating" or believe in it. So why comment??? It was brutal and the post is basically viral at this point.
I disagree with the OPs 2nd point (at least some of it). I'm gonna go out on a limb and say virtually everyone who has lost or is losing weight knows how difficult it is. So people who comment are basically speaking from experience. Sometimes you may like the response and sometimes you don't. But you asked for it. I keep hearing the word "supportive" being thrown around. I don't think support = agree. And disagree <> mean. Sometimes being supportive is pointing out things that are obvious as an objective person. An OP might write about being "addicted" to food or how it's so hard for them to lose weight because <fill in the blank>. An objective person might tell them that those are "excuses" (they are). They might be good excuses but excuses nonetheless. Excuses won't solve problems; they just explain them. Some people just don't want to hear the truth. The truth is that it's up to them to lose the weight and excuses and babying are just impediments to the goal.
The OP also mentioned that sometimes you want to be pitied. Really? Yikes, that is never something I would welcome.-1 -
BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
The people telling you that you don't need a book and can eat anything you like within your calories are trying to "share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way." I spent years reading all of the books, trying all of the "plans." I only wish I had figured this out years ago.
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BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?0 -
Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
I'd be curious to see the answer to this question.0 -
OP: Grow up.
Google is your friend.
There's an entire internet's worth of stuff out there for you to peruse.
If you don't know how to grocery shop, cook, put together a meal or other things functional adults should do...
No amount of advice from strangers will help you, nor should you rely on randos for assistance.
No amount of "motivation", "support", "help", coddling or babying is going to help you achieve your goals.
You learn by experience. That includes success, failure and everything in between.
You have to rely on yourself and your closest circle(s).
That's what adults do.
By starting this thread and drawing attention to yourself, you're acting like a child who didn't get what he wanted.
That sentiment goes for all your deficient supporters who are shaking their tear drenched rally towels at how "mean" everyone is.
Bottom line: no one here exists to validate anyone, save for themselves.
You want validation and advice that suits your agenda?
Call your mother and have her powder your bottom instead of bothering strangers.
You will get differing and dissenting opinions EVERYWHERE in life.
You are not "owed" a saccharine ideal of "politeness", and people will say things that you will find "mean" simply because you didn't get your way.
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Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
Agreed.
There's also a difference in asking, "How do I workout?" and asking "As a beginner in weightlifting without a gym membership and limited equipment, what's a good program that I can follow?"0 -
I think from the feedback here it's clear a lot of people dislike the negativity from the board. That is too bad.
It's also easy to see how quickly others jump on and turn things nasty and negative which basically just proves the whole point of the thread.
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »It's quite a phenomenon. And then it typically devolves into gifs and nonsense. I've moderated forums before, including a TEEN forum. And I've not seen anything with a specific goal and guidelines that goes so oddly awry.
lol, you haven't seen gamer forums then. The inmates run the place so to speak.
I think a lot of it here is teen angst and hangry. Then some of us just want to see the world burn.
I am certain this is going to go well. The world is full of angry people, and MFP is full of hangry people. It is what it is, kicking at others will improve nothing. Did that answer your question? Wait, what was your question?0 -
I looked up some other words like compassion, sympathy, comiseration. I "guess" that's better. I think pity can be condescending and often implies the recipient is "helpless" or "hopeless". No, uh-uh.0
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Some people need a pep talk. Most people don't need tough love answers so keep them to yourself.
Ever heard of the saying "if you can say something nice don't say it all"? Try it out!
I can understand this. Not everyone is the same. Perhaps at the beginning of your posts it would be helpful if you told people ahead of time that you do not benefit from tough love and want only positive cheery answers otherwise you may become enraged and that it is counterproductive to your progress.
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Sevendust912 wrote: »BENNETINFINITY: your completely right in saying "I think people who want specific advice about their personal course of action are better served finding like minded people in the groups".
That is what we are doing when we post here - trying to find like minded people to help us.
mommyrunning - I love your comment. Not everyone here knows how to design meals, cook, work out, etc. They need help from people (supposedly all of you) who have already learned it, gone through it, know more. They can learn though with your help - not sarcastic comments.
Your supposed to act as teachers, peers, coaches, positive influences and yes - maybe even share some knowledge so we don't have to take forever to learn it the hard way.
Just curious, how does a grown adult "not know how" to exercise?
He also failed to mention that when he asked how to tone up "fast" he had a timeline of eight days. Sorry people told you that's not possible. They're so mean.
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