Is it important that your Spouse lose weight too?
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I know I'll probably get a lot of flak for this but, it isn't the extra weight that would bother me, it is the lack of respect and care that a spouse that is overweight has for their significant other that works hard to stay in shape. The way I see it is that if you value your spouse, you would try your best to make them happy in every way. Granted, they will (or should) love you no matter what weight you are but for a spouse to just let themselves go to me is selfish. Why would I not work hard to make sure I live a long and healthy life for my significant other and my kids? Why would I not try to look as physically good as possible for as long as possible for myself and my mate? The way I see it, for someone in a marriage to just let themselves go shows a lack of regard for the person they are with. I think a lot of people have a hard time thinking about anything other than themselves on a daily basis and don't realize how much their own actions (or inactions) impact the person their with. If you are dedicated to someone, you should be dedicated in every way.0
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »bornforbattles wrote: »I look at it like this, I'm always going to be fit so why should I be with someone that isn't/wont be?
Spoken like a true 27 year old. I thought the same way until I needed knee surgery on both knees from running every day at the age of 38. Gained 40lbs afterwards because it was difficult getting out of bed much less getting to the gym every day. No one stays the same all of their life. You will eventually have struggles with your weight, whether it's at 28 or 88, it will happen.
But you didn't gain 40lbs because of a knee injury. You gained 40lbs because you continued to eat like a man who still was running every day.
It amazes me that people can be in the middle of a weight loss journey and still blame every single external for what got them in trouble in the first place. How do you learn to take responsibility for your actions if you're still blaming your kids, your busy job, your knee injury, the state of the country, the fact that Twinkies came back, or any other external factor that did not force any of us to overeat?
Have you ever had any serious medical problems? I haven't -- my demons and resulting obesity are my fault and mine alone, but I've had friends who have and I've seen what sudden lack of mobility or medication or tumors can do. You're being unfair.
I'm being unfair to say that overeating for your activity level is a choice?
That's not a judgement. It's a fact.
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Oh puh-lease. See the thing is that my husband ... he's not actually my husband. We've been together for 9 years and have not said any vows. Yet we are dedicated to each other and our children 100%. My ex-husband said vows and then proceeded to cheat on me and abuse me.
Actions speak far louder than words, and I quite enjoy my "co-habitational arrangement" that is based on implicit trust and respect. We do have matching rings, so unless you actually know us or have reason to be privy to our marital status (or last names) you would be unable to tell that we're not married from interacting with us.
My marriage lasted less than 15 months.0 -
I don't really want to hear this absolute, uncompromising sort of blame from anyone who has *not* been through major surgery, head meds, thyroid failure, etc. That which you assume and believe versus that which actually takes place are vastly different. Live it before you judge it.
What she said ^0 -
0somuchbetter0 wrote: »BuddhaMom74 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »I have never been married or dated an overweight person so I can't comment on that. To my fellow single MFP members I would like to say the best solution to the above problems is prevention!
Not only seek out partners who are aerobically fit, but be sure they have the requisite plan and motivation to remain so for a lifetime. Absent medical problems outside of their control, becoming overweight is a choice.
I choose to avoid dated anyone who would do anything to diminish their life expectancy (a selfish decision not only impacting them but their entire family). This is not just about weight. I also would never date a smoker, someone who rides a motorcycle or does not buckle their seat beat (although I respect the right of everyone to make those choices).
Ah, youth. You never know what's going to happen in the future. What if you fall in love with a guy tomorrow who is physically fit, but as the years pass, his weight creeps up. Are you going to file for divorce when he becomes 20 lbs overweight? 50 lbs? What if it happens to you? You have a couple of kids, you hit 50, your metabolism slows down...the lbs sneak up on you. Are you going to be understanding when he leaves you for a thinner, fitter woman?
I'm ...ahem... not in my youth!! ...but I do tend to agree with this poster...I have been divorced for a few years and while the thought of dating currently makes me ill, when/if it happens, I also would not date someone who smokes, DRINKS, doesn't buckle their seatbelt, etc. (though I'd be ok with a motorcycle!!).
I don't understand this. With all due respect, you're overweight and you've struggled with your weight more than once, but you would hold your hypothetical boyfriend/husband to a different standard?
Quite the contrary; I would hold my hypothetical boyfriend/husband to the same standard I now hold myself! I have now made a commitment to myself to make my weight, and therefore health a priority, and would seek out someone with the same mindset. Having said that however, I was speaking specifically with regard to the supplementary life choices: smoking, drinking, etc.0 -
I lost both of my parents within less than five years of each other, in my 20s, him on Father's day, her less than a week after Mother's day, and her within weeks of filming my first major feature film role, which I had to drop to bury her and move back to my home state temporarily to close out her affairs. Don't let me mention the five pets who died within the same period, some of quite horrific deaths.
In the mental and emotional anguish of all that I gained until finally I hit 320lbs.
Life happens. Hard, tough things in life happen.
But it's not the deaths that caused the weight gain.
Or even the emotional pain.
It was the choices I made to dive back into overeating and lack of exercise.
I owe those decisions. Not everyone falls into a vat of food during tough times, or illnesses, like other people do. Those of us with weight issues make that choice.
And it's fine if that's the choice we want to make. But are you people really telling me its ok not to at least OWN our decisions?0 -
BuddhaMom74 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »BuddhaMom74 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »I have never been married or dated an overweight person so I can't comment on that. To my fellow single MFP members I would like to say the best solution to the above problems is prevention!
Not only seek out partners who are aerobically fit, but be sure they have the requisite plan and motivation to remain so for a lifetime. Absent medical problems outside of their control, becoming overweight is a choice.
I choose to avoid dated anyone who would do anything to diminish their life expectancy (a selfish decision not only impacting them but their entire family). This is not just about weight. I also would never date a smoker, someone who rides a motorcycle or does not buckle their seat beat (although I respect the right of everyone to make those choices).
Ah, youth. You never know what's going to happen in the future. What if you fall in love with a guy tomorrow who is physically fit, but as the years pass, his weight creeps up. Are you going to file for divorce when he becomes 20 lbs overweight? 50 lbs? What if it happens to you? You have a couple of kids, you hit 50, your metabolism slows down...the lbs sneak up on you. Are you going to be understanding when he leaves you for a thinner, fitter woman?
I'm ...ahem... not in my youth!! ...but I do tend to agree with this poster...I have been divorced for a few years and while the thought of dating currently makes me ill, when/if it happens, I also would not date someone who smokes, DRINKS, doesn't buckle their seatbelt, etc. (though I'd be ok with a motorcycle!!).
I don't understand this. With all due respect, you're overweight and you've struggled with your weight more than once, but you would hold your hypothetical boyfriend/husband to a different standard?
Quite the contrary; I would hold my hypothetical boyfriend/husband to the same standard I now hold myself! I have now made a commitment to myself to make my weight, and therefore health a priority, and would seek out someone with the same mindset. Having said that however, I was speaking specifically with regard to the supplementary life choices: smoking, drinking, etc.
Oh, I thought you were agreeing that your partner would not/should not ever be overweight, or else you'd kick him to the curb.0 -
Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »bornforbattles wrote: »I look at it like this, I'm always going to be fit so why should I be with someone that isn't/wont be?
Spoken like a true 27 year old. I thought the same way until I needed knee surgery on both knees from running every day at the age of 38. Gained 40lbs afterwards because it was difficult getting out of bed much less getting to the gym every day. No one stays the same all of their life. You will eventually have struggles with your weight, whether it's at 28 or 88, it will happen.
But you didn't gain 40lbs because of a knee injury. You gained 40lbs because you continued to eat like a man who still was running every day.
It amazes me that people can be in the middle of a weight loss journey and still blame every single external for what got them in trouble in the first place. How do you learn to take responsibility for your actions if you're still blaming your kids, your busy job, your knee injury, the state of the country, the fact that Twinkies came back, or any other external factor that did not force any of us to overeat?
Have you ever had any serious medical problems? I haven't -- my demons and resulting obesity are my fault and mine alone, but I've had friends who have and I've seen what sudden lack of mobility or medication or tumors can do. You're being unfair.
I'm being unfair to say that overeating for your activity level is a choice?
That's not a judgement. It's a fact.
A friend of mine broke her back and lost the use of her legs. While she was lying in the hospital for 8 months she gained 75 lbs. Immobility can mess with your system in many ways, including muscle atrophy, endocrine and hormone imbalances, depression, edema, and so on. It's not just a matter of saying "ho hum, I'm just going to lie in bed while I recover from this surgery (or stroke or whatever) so I'd better cut my calorie consumption down by X%." Another friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident and lost the use of his legs -- while in rehab he gained 50 lbs. Another friend of mine picked up a brain parasite in Mozambique and has been on corticosteroids for 9 months, gaining over 60 lbs. Another friend of mine had a tumor on his pituitary, which had to be removed. He gained 100 lbs.
Here's a fact for you: you never know what's going to happen.0 -
No, because even at his highest weight, he has never more than dipped a toe in the overweight pool and even that was borderline. He has never played sports and only since he turned 30 took up running, and he is definitely an amateur at that.
I on the other hand, verged on overweight even as an active teenager who played travel softball and high school rugby (loads of running in rugby, we ran the mile as a warm-up) and after we got married and I had 4 kids in 5 years and a car wreck that left me with a titanium tibia, ballooned upwards and upwards.
I own my weight gain and everything that went with it. We're married, but we are still ourselves. If he started to put on weight, I'm not about to nag him or leave him over it.
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »BuddhaMom74 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »BuddhaMom74 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »I have never been married or dated an overweight person so I can't comment on that. To my fellow single MFP members I would like to say the best solution to the above problems is prevention!
Not only seek out partners who are aerobically fit, but be sure they have the requisite plan and motivation to remain so for a lifetime. Absent medical problems outside of their control, becoming overweight is a choice.
I choose to avoid dated anyone who would do anything to diminish their life expectancy (a selfish decision not only impacting them but their entire family). This is not just about weight. I also would never date a smoker, someone who rides a motorcycle or does not buckle their seat beat (although I respect the right of everyone to make those choices).
Ah, youth. You never know what's going to happen in the future. What if you fall in love with a guy tomorrow who is physically fit, but as the years pass, his weight creeps up. Are you going to file for divorce when he becomes 20 lbs overweight? 50 lbs? What if it happens to you? You have a couple of kids, you hit 50, your metabolism slows down...the lbs sneak up on you. Are you going to be understanding when he leaves you for a thinner, fitter woman?
I'm ...ahem... not in my youth!! ...but I do tend to agree with this poster...I have been divorced for a few years and while the thought of dating currently makes me ill, when/if it happens, I also would not date someone who smokes, DRINKS, doesn't buckle their seatbelt, etc. (though I'd be ok with a motorcycle!!).
I don't understand this. With all due respect, you're overweight and you've struggled with your weight more than once, but you would hold your hypothetical boyfriend/husband to a different standard?
Quite the contrary; I would hold my hypothetical boyfriend/husband to the same standard I now hold myself! I have now made a commitment to myself to make my weight, and therefore health a priority, and would seek out someone with the same mindset. Having said that however, I was speaking specifically with regard to the supplementary life choices: smoking, drinking, etc.
Oh, I thought you were agreeing that your partner would not/should not ever be overweight, or else you'd kick him to the curb.
Lol! Quite the opposite; I actually find myself attracted to men who have a little more meat on their bones! (but again, shudder at the thought of dating!!) 0 -
I got married when I was 25. I distinctly remember my very active husband and my very active self having a conversation where he said "there won't be any fat people in our family." :laugh:
We've been married 11 years. At one point my husband gained close to 100 lbs thanks to a ridiculous work schedule and a child who didn't sleep through the night until about age 3. I gained about 50 lbs during a difficult pregnancy.
Our twentysomething selves were complete idiots with no concept of what lay ahead of us. It's easy to for it to be all about you when it is all about you.
To answer the OP, it doesn't matter to me. Both of us lost weight on our own timetables without comment from the other.
Exactly. I bet just about everyone over 40 reading those comments just shook their heads and said whatever, just wait....
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »bornforbattles wrote: »I look at it like this, I'm always going to be fit so why should I be with someone that isn't/wont be?
Spoken like a true 27 year old. I thought the same way until I needed knee surgery on both knees from running every day at the age of 38. Gained 40lbs afterwards because it was difficult getting out of bed much less getting to the gym every day. No one stays the same all of their life. You will eventually have struggles with your weight, whether it's at 28 or 88, it will happen.
But you didn't gain 40lbs because of a knee injury. You gained 40lbs because you continued to eat like a man who still was running every day.
It amazes me that people can be in the middle of a weight loss journey and still blame every single external for what got them in trouble in the first place. How do you learn to take responsibility for your actions if you're still blaming your kids, your busy job, your knee injury, the state of the country, the fact that Twinkies came back, or any other external factor that did not force any of us to overeat?
Have you ever had any serious medical problems? I haven't -- my demons and resulting obesity are my fault and mine alone, but I've had friends who have and I've seen what sudden lack of mobility or medication or tumors can do. You're being unfair.
I'm being unfair to say that overeating for your activity level is a choice?
That's not a judgement. It's a fact.
A friend of mine broke her back and lost the use of her legs. While she was lying in the hospital for 8 months she gained 75 lbs. Immobility can mess with your system in many ways, including muscle atrophy, endocrine and hormone imbalances, depression, edema, and so on. It's not just a matter of saying "ho hum, I'm just going to lie in bed while I recover from this surgery (or stroke or whatever) so I'd better cut my calorie consumption down by X%." Another friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident and lost the use of his legs -- while in rehab he gained 50 lbs. Another friend of mine picked up a brain parasite in Mozambique and has been on corticosteroids for 9 months, gaining over 60 lbs. Another friend of mine had a tumor on his pituitary, which had to be removed. He gained 100 lbs.
Here's a fact for you: you never know what's going to happen.
Horrible situations, I agree.
However are you suggesting that, outside of fluid retention, all the people in those situation HAD to gain 50, 75, 100lbs and that their own food choices had nothing to do with the excess weight?
I am not saying they were wrong to, not at all, especially considering their challenges. I could tell you plenty of medical horror stories about people I love, who actually did NOT become obese and morbidly obese as a result, and some that did; my oldest friend, a professional dancer, suffered an injury just last year in a show and he, who has always been lean and fit, packed on 50 lbs as a result of continuing to eat like he was still dancing for a living.
All I'm trying ascertain here is if people are seriously suggesting that if you become injured, or even immobile, it means fat literally accumulates on your body against your will? Your caloric choices have nothing to do with it?0 -
i say if my husband wants to jump on the wagon with me, there is always a seat open, if not, that's his choice and i dont harp on him about that stuff0
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QueenKristine7 wrote: »i say if my husband wants to jump on the wagon with me, there is always a seat open, if not, that's his choice and i dont harp on him about that stuff
this....just this.
I started on a vigorous routine to make myself more fit, as quick as possible. My wife could do the same, but I'm not going to force anything on her, just as I would never force my religious or political views on her. We have completely opposite interests, so I let her do her thing and I do mine. She did say that she is going to start counting her calories as an effort to lose weight. Good enough for me.0 -
And this is why the divorce rate is so high ...Iwishyouwell wrote: »Many, if not most, of us here constitute the less fat/former fat/how'd I get so fat crowd who have decided that weight loss, for whatever reasons, is an imperative part of our journeys.
And a lot of us have spouses who likewise are overweight or obese.
How important is it that your spouse have the desire, and make the effort, to join in their own weight loss pursuit? Do you find yourself holding them up to similar standards as you do yourself? If they aren't losing weight, or getting fit, and don't plan to, is that an issue in your marriage?
My fiance isn't overweight, though he's put on a few pounds since he stopped smoking last month. I ask him to come exercise with me just because it's nice to have the time together and him going along helps my motivation. But if he says no, I don't push it. It's his body. he doesn't push me, either. It's my body.
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Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »bornforbattles wrote: »I look at it like this, I'm always going to be fit so why should I be with someone that isn't/wont be?
Spoken like a true 27 year old. I thought the same way until I needed knee surgery on both knees from running every day at the age of 38. Gained 40lbs afterwards because it was difficult getting out of bed much less getting to the gym every day. No one stays the same all of their life. You will eventually have struggles with your weight, whether it's at 28 or 88, it will happen.
But you didn't gain 40lbs because of a knee injury. You gained 40lbs because you continued to eat like a man who still was running every day.
It amazes me that people can be in the middle of a weight loss journey and still blame every single external for what got them in trouble in the first place. How do you learn to take responsibility for your actions if you're still blaming your kids, your busy job, your knee injury, the state of the country, the fact that Twinkies came back, or any other external factor that did not force any of us to overeat?
Have you ever had any serious medical problems? I haven't -- my demons and resulting obesity are my fault and mine alone, but I've had friends who have and I've seen what sudden lack of mobility or medication or tumors can do. You're being unfair.
I'm being unfair to say that overeating for your activity level is a choice?
That's not a judgement. It's a fact.
A friend of mine broke her back and lost the use of her legs. While she was lying in the hospital for 8 months she gained 75 lbs. Immobility can mess with your system in many ways, including muscle atrophy, endocrine and hormone imbalances, depression, edema, and so on. It's not just a matter of saying "ho hum, I'm just going to lie in bed while I recover from this surgery (or stroke or whatever) so I'd better cut my calorie consumption down by X%." Another friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident and lost the use of his legs -- while in rehab he gained 50 lbs. Another friend of mine picked up a brain parasite in Mozambique and has been on corticosteroids for 9 months, gaining over 60 lbs. Another friend of mine had a tumor on his pituitary, which had to be removed. He gained 100 lbs.
Here's a fact for you: you never know what's going to happen.
Horrible situations, I agree.
However are you suggesting that, outside of fluid retention, all the people in those situation HAD to gain 50, 75, 100lbs and that their own food choices had nothing to do with the excess weight?
I am not saying they were wrong to, not at all, especially considering their challenges. I could tell you plenty of medical horror stories about people I love, who actually did NOT become obese and morbidly obese as a result, and some that did; my oldest friend, a professional dancer, suffered an injury just last year in a show and he, who has always been lean and fit, packed on 50 lbs as a result of continuing to eat like he was still dancing for a living.
All I'm trying ascertain here is if people are seriously suggesting that if you become injured, or even immobile, it means fat literally accumulates on your body against your will? Your caloric choices have nothing to do with it?
You don't understand. The cases I mentioned are not healthy bodies that are just lying around eating Twinkies. A body that has gone through severe trauma and immobility doesn't function normally. Endocrine and hormone imbalances can and often do result in weight gain, regardless of what the person is eating. A common side effect of corticosteroids is massive weight gain. These are extreme examples, yes, but they're in response to the absolute black and white attitude of some of the people posting on this thread. Again, as I've said since the beginning, you never know what's going to happen.0 -
I gained 36 pounds eating between 1,000 and 1,500 calories a day (in healthy foods, not "junk") and exercising four to five days a week.0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »bornforbattles wrote: »I look at it like this, I'm always going to be fit so why should I be with someone that isn't/wont be?
Spoken like a true 27 year old. I thought the same way until I needed knee surgery on both knees from running every day at the age of 38. Gained 40lbs afterwards because it was difficult getting out of bed much less getting to the gym every day. No one stays the same all of their life. You will eventually have struggles with your weight, whether it's at 28 or 88, it will happen.
But you didn't gain 40lbs because of a knee injury. You gained 40lbs because you continued to eat like a man who still was running every day.
It amazes me that people can be in the middle of a weight loss journey and still blame every single external for what got them in trouble in the first place. How do you learn to take responsibility for your actions if you're still blaming your kids, your busy job, your knee injury, the state of the country, the fact that Twinkies came back, or any other external factor that did not force any of us to overeat?
Have you ever had any serious medical problems? I haven't -- my demons and resulting obesity are my fault and mine alone, but I've had friends who have and I've seen what sudden lack of mobility or medication or tumors can do. You're being unfair.
I'm being unfair to say that overeating for your activity level is a choice?
That's not a judgement. It's a fact.
A friend of mine broke her back and lost the use of her legs. While she was lying in the hospital for 8 months she gained 75 lbs. Immobility can mess with your system in many ways, including muscle atrophy, endocrine and hormone imbalances, depression, edema, and so on. It's not just a matter of saying "ho hum, I'm just going to lie in bed while I recover from this surgery (or stroke or whatever) so I'd better cut my calorie consumption down by X%." Another friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident and lost the use of his legs -- while in rehab he gained 50 lbs. Another friend of mine picked up a brain parasite in Mozambique and has been on corticosteroids for 9 months, gaining over 60 lbs. Another friend of mine had a tumor on his pituitary, which had to be removed. He gained 100 lbs.
Here's a fact for you: you never know what's going to happen.
Horrible situations, I agree.
However are you suggesting that, outside of fluid retention, all the people in those situation HAD to gain 50, 75, 100lbs and that their own food choices had nothing to do with the excess weight?
I am not saying they were wrong to, not at all, especially considering their challenges. I could tell you plenty of medical horror stories about people I love, who actually did NOT become obese and morbidly obese as a result, and some that did; my oldest friend, a professional dancer, suffered an injury just last year in a show and he, who has always been lean and fit, packed on 50 lbs as a result of continuing to eat like he was still dancing for a living.
All I'm trying ascertain here is if people are seriously suggesting that if you become injured, or even immobile, it means fat literally accumulates on your body against your will? Your caloric choices have nothing to do with it?
You don't understand. The cases I mentioned are not healthy bodies that are just lying around eating Twinkies. A body that has gone through severe trauma and immobility doesn't function normally. Endocrine and hormone imbalances can and often do result in weight gain, regardless of what the person is eating. A common side effect of corticosteroids is massive weight gain. These are extreme examples, yes, but they're in response to the absolute black and white attitude of some of the people posting on this thread. Again, as I've said since the beginning, you never know what's going to happen.
I developed Hashimoto's and for the last five years, my doctor has pretty much insisted I didn't have anything wrong. And now that I'm on treatment, the weight isn't exactly falling off.
I was very thin and healthy and fit at 27 years old. Ten years later and I'm dealing with issues I had no control over. So, you know, maybe try a little humble pie, Born. You don't know what's going to happen.
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noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »PrizePopple wrote: »noexcusesjustresults2014 wrote: »
My age is not relevant here. Don't insult my intelligence. I will complete college before I turn 21 and expect to enroll in one of the top med schools in the country. I know how to count. I expect my spouse will be able to count as well. If/when his metabolism slows down he will increase his exercise and/or reduce his caloric intake. Nobody in my family has ever been 1 pound overweight. Like I said unless there is a serious medical condition (which I would accept) its about basic math and willpower. 50 pounds cannot "sneak up" on someone who owns a scale.
Your comment about kids is horrible. Being 50 pounds overweight would negatively impact my life expectancy. How would my kids feel if they knew I purposely chose to decrease the chance I would live to see my grandchildren complete graduate school or get married? I wont judge anyone else, but I would never do that to my family.
Well, aren't you just a perfect little snowflake.
Actually, you are quite judgmental and very condescending quite often, so don't go around acting like your poop doesn't stink. I already feel sorry for your future husband.
I think you confuse "condescending" with an honest opinion about how I feel personally with no judgement against those who disagree.
I never said I was perfect.
But you made sure to get in there you're going to a "top medical school" LOL
Before I met my husband I had already lost a lot of weight. I never thought after the time and commitment I had I would get back to where I was. Well, I did. I got pregnant and here I am again. Never once has my husband made one comment about my weight. Yes, he could lose a little weight, but my main concern is how his health is year to year. If he wants to make a change, he will have to make the commitment. Not me.
I can only imagine how it would feel if tables were turned. If he was trying to lose weight and be more active and I wasn't at that point yet, him harping on me to do so would definitely not help things. So why would I do that to him?
Another difference between now and then, I was single. No one to worry about but myself. I had a lot more free time...it was all my own schedule. I could work out easily after 10 hour work days for an hour. Now, I can only work out after work certain days because my child can only be at daycare for a certain amount of time, I don't always have the lunch hour open to work out like I did in a different position, and I don't live alone so the food in the house isn't just what I eat. Can I lose weight still? Sure I can. I'm not using these as excuses, its just more crap I have to work around. Extra barriers. It's just not as easy as it was before. Life changes. That's how life is. You may think you have it all planned out, but it doesn't always work out that way.
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »Iwishyouwell wrote: »bornforbattles wrote: »I look at it like this, I'm always going to be fit so why should I be with someone that isn't/wont be?
Spoken like a true 27 year old. I thought the same way until I needed knee surgery on both knees from running every day at the age of 38. Gained 40lbs afterwards because it was difficult getting out of bed much less getting to the gym every day. No one stays the same all of their life. You will eventually have struggles with your weight, whether it's at 28 or 88, it will happen.
But you didn't gain 40lbs because of a knee injury. You gained 40lbs because you continued to eat like a man who still was running every day.
It amazes me that people can be in the middle of a weight loss journey and still blame every single external for what got them in trouble in the first place. How do you learn to take responsibility for your actions if you're still blaming your kids, your busy job, your knee injury, the state of the country, the fact that Twinkies came back, or any other external factor that did not force any of us to overeat?
Have you ever had any serious medical problems? I haven't -- my demons and resulting obesity are my fault and mine alone, but I've had friends who have and I've seen what sudden lack of mobility or medication or tumors can do. You're being unfair.
I'm being unfair to say that overeating for your activity level is a choice?
That's not a judgement. It's a fact.
A friend of mine broke her back and lost the use of her legs. While she was lying in the hospital for 8 months she gained 75 lbs. Immobility can mess with your system in many ways, including muscle atrophy, endocrine and hormone imbalances, depression, edema, and so on. It's not just a matter of saying "ho hum, I'm just going to lie in bed while I recover from this surgery (or stroke or whatever) so I'd better cut my calorie consumption down by X%." Another friend of mine was in a motorcycle accident and lost the use of his legs -- while in rehab he gained 50 lbs. Another friend of mine picked up a brain parasite in Mozambique and has been on corticosteroids for 9 months, gaining over 60 lbs. Another friend of mine had a tumor on his pituitary, which had to be removed. He gained 100 lbs.
Here's a fact for you: you never know what's going to happen.
Horrible situations, I agree.
However are you suggesting that, outside of fluid retention, all the people in those situation HAD to gain 50, 75, 100lbs and that their own food choices had nothing to do with the excess weight?
I am not saying they were wrong to, not at all, especially considering their challenges. I could tell you plenty of medical horror stories about people I love, who actually did NOT become obese and morbidly obese as a result, and some that did; my oldest friend, a professional dancer, suffered an injury just last year in a show and he, who has always been lean and fit, packed on 50 lbs as a result of continuing to eat like he was still dancing for a living.
All I'm trying ascertain here is if people are seriously suggesting that if you become injured, or even immobile, it means fat literally accumulates on your body against your will? Your caloric choices have nothing to do with it?
You don't understand. The cases I mentioned are not healthy bodies that are just lying around eating Twinkies. A body that has gone through severe trauma and immobility doesn't function normally. Endocrine and hormone imbalances can and often do result in weight gain, regardless of what the person is eating. A common side effect of corticosteroids is massive weight gain. These are extreme examples, yes, but they're in response to the absolute black and white attitude of some of the people posting on this thread. Again, as I've said since the beginning, you never know what's going to happen.
Severe conditions and medications that cause weight gain against your will obviously aren't debatable, which I mentioned.
But conditions do not account for anywhere near the overwhelming majority of people who are overweight or obese, including those dealing with illness or injury.
Also it is not physiologically possible to become fat "regardless of what you eat". Take even an immobile person on a corticosteroid and stick them in a room with water, and no food, and trust me, they will eventually waste away.
It's important to note that while some corticosteroids do slightly inhibit metabolism, weight gain from their usage is typically fluid and as an indirect result of an increase in appetite.
Which means most people gain weight from the medication not because it's in their system, but because they feel hungrier due to the meds and proceed to overconsume.0 -
And this is why the divorce rate is so high ...Iwishyouwell wrote: »Many, if not most, of us here constitute the less fat/former fat/how'd I get so fat crowd who have decided that weight loss, for whatever reasons, is an imperative part of our journeys.
And a lot of us have spouses who likewise are overweight or obese.
How important is it that your spouse have the desire, and make the effort, to join in their own weight loss pursuit? Do you find yourself holding them up to similar standards as you do yourself? If they aren't losing weight, or getting fit, and don't plan to, is that an issue in your marriage?
Why is the divorce rate so high?0
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