Making a Lifestyle Change (or Plus Sized and OK with it)
Replies
-
TheVirgoddess wrote: »Oh for crying out loud.
I never said she should have the goal of being thin. I never said that being thin was the answer.
Sorry, I should have been more clear there. I wasn't trying to say that you specifically said she should want to be thin, that was more of a general statement. But you said you didn't understand her reasoning and my response to you was that maybe the reasoning is that she feels good, beautiful, in a bigger body.
Anyway, I have too much to do today to argue on an internet forum. My point here is that I think OP has a great attitude, and there's nothing wrong with her wanting to improve her health without getting a 100% fit, ultra healthy body. I also don't think it's appropriate for everyone to question why she doesn't want to push herself to her full potential or whatever. I understand she posted on a public forum, but I don't think she was asking for everyone to question her motives. I'm assuming she just wanted support, which is what I've been trying to provide.
Have a good day, all.
Okay, I understand a little better.
I think it's great that she loves her body, absolutely. And I don't think having an ultra healthy, fit body is for everyone, either. I'll never be thin, my happy weight is on the high side of normal. I just think the long term risks of choosing to stay overweight should matter. An overweight person can absolutely be healthy, but it will be harder to maintain that health over time.
I'm also not trying to argue. So I'll just leave it at that.0 -
OP, congratulations on finishing your first week! Keep at it!
Being fit & healthy is a great goal. Just remember that being overweight puts you at risk for things that can't necessarily be measured by bloodwork like diabetes can, but also for things like greater risk of complications during surgery (you never know if you might need surgery one day) and joint and back problems later in life.
That being said, just keep working towards your goal. Who knows, maybe once you get there you'll love how much better you feel and want to keep going. Lots of people run their first 5k then want to do a 10k, then a half marathon, then a marathon, why can't weight loss be the same way? And even if you don't want to keep going, you'll still be better off than where you are now!0 -
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Wow, I went away to have a healthy lunch and come back to a couple of PMs that there was a "sh@tstorm" happening in my introduction thread were not lying (thank you, lovely people for the warnings! xo)!
First off, thank you all for taking a moment to chime in. While I don't exactly feel welcomed, I think that this is a teaching moment for all those that think that I have to be free of my fat to be healthy and happy.
This is my journey, not yours. My fat is my business, not yours. You do NOT get to judge me. You know NOTHING about my life, history or motivations. I won't be bullied nor shamed into changing my goals to be more palatable to your worldview.
For those of you who have been very welcoming and messaged/friended me, thank you very much. I appreciate your genuine interest and kindness. I hope that we can all meet our goals together!
XO!
Tina
No one has shamed, judged or bullied you though. No one said you have to be thin, or X size, or X weight. The only thing that was expressed was concern for your long term health (which you stated as your goal).
And if the above is what you took away from all this - well I feel sad for you.
Again, best of luck.0 -
I enjoy being plus size, I like the way my body looks.
But there is a limit, and I know I've passed it, hence MFP. I want to be confident AND healthy, and both of those things are possible while being overweight.
I'm at my heaviest weight ever, but I'm also the best cardiovascular fitness level I've ever been at. My blood work and blood pressure are perfect. If that's not healthy, I don't know what is.
Good luck on your journey! And congrats on setting goals and not allowing society to tell you they're not good enough!
0 -
I'm sorry you thought that your thread got too heated and that you didn't actually want a discussion. I'm very sorry you feel shamed or attacked or told that you need to be thin. That is not my reading of the discussion.
Best of luck on the rest of your journey!0 -
I believe in a broad definition of health - not just physical health but mental, spiritual, social, etc. So each of us is on our journey to maximize health broadly. Trying to achieve perfect physical health is not always the top priority in the balance of health. It is quite possible to be plus-sized and really on track with health in a broad sense. I also believe in some degree of natural variation in size such that being "overweight" is not universally unhealthy (in fact, the BMI category of overweight predicts longevity). It really depends on the person. I do think an arbitrary weight loss goal also fails to capture the ongoing journey that makes up a commitment to health and well-being.0
-
"just sounds like an excuse to be lazy."
"That's like saying, just because people like having healthy teeth doesn't mean i need to brush. Yes my teeth will not look as nice, and slowly throughout my life my teeth will start to wear more and then eventually betray me. But i'm not conforming to society, what do they know, toothless with a weak purpose is much more important. "
That sure sounded like shaming, an attack, and a judgement to me. There was some genuine discussion, but several comments about how she wasn't giving 100%, which kinda shuts down any discussion she might have wanted to start, at least with those people.0 -
I have lost 68 pounds this year and intend to lose more. Why? Because being as heavy as I was I didn't have the energy I wanted and my blood sugars were too high. I also wanted to look leaner in my clothes. Having said that, I understand why you only want to go so far in your weight loss. That is the weight you have decided to work towards and it's commendable. I wonder how much effort it will take me to get to my goal, about 20-30 pounds away. I am definitely more active than I have ever been, and I like being active. I feel energized. But I won't be so driven about it that I can't enjoy the other parts of my life. I assume you feel the same about that balance. I used to identify myself as being plus sized but I didn't particularly like that term. Now I am just me. Yes, sometimes I still have to buy plus sized clothes. My goal is to be a size 14, because that is the size that I will probably be when I get rid of most of my stomach fat. Right now I'm between a size 16 and 18. I'm not aiming for an Olympic body, just my optimum body for myself. Enjoy your journey - it's so worthwhile!!!0
-
Am I right in thinking that "plus-size" means over-weight?
Tea I don't think that this has to do with self-confidence / self-acceptance. You talk about health being your motivation in your first post. By definition being over-weight is not healthy, so I'm not sure why you'd stop at an unhealthy weight.
You ask me to consider the question yourself, but I haven't lost weight to be thin. I was 11st 11lb at my highest, I lost weight to be healthy.
"Plus size" MAY equal overweight, but that's the thing--- the term "plus size" is subjective!! But if we are to argue, as I am, that an overweight person can be fit and healthy, then a plus sized person can absolutely be fit and healthy.
By definition, over-weight is "above a weight considered normal or desirable". And here's the definition of normal--- "conforming to a standard". Do I need to keep going?
Society has decided what is "over-weight" and "plus sized". But physiologically, a female with a 35 inch waist and considered overweight by the norm, can absolutely maintain the same health and fitness level of a smaller woman.
0 -
Ya think this is a shitstorm.. You don't internet much huh? 0
-
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!
Thank you for the congratulations!
I'm glad I gave you something to think about, but I am going to follow that up with a question or two: Why do I have to want to be thin in the first place? Why can't a fat girl like her body and want to be healthy without it being a contradiction? It's society's norm. I don't have to conform to a body image that doesn't make me happy. Losing the weight will make it less likely of me developing diabetes and lessen my risk of heart disease, among other things. I will be stronger, more flexible, and better able to do the things I want to do. YMMV!
just sounds like an excuse to be lazy.
That's like saying, just because people like having healthy teeth doesn't mean i need to brush. Yes my teeth will not look as nice, and slowly throughout my life my teeth will start to wear more and then eventually betray me. But i'm not conforming to society, what do they know, toothless with a weak purpose is much more important.
I think this is one of the most unsupportive comments I have seen on this site.
I'm not sure what world you come from in which losing 55 pounds through proper diet and exercise and maintaining that weight and fitness level indefinitely is considered "lazy".
0 -
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!
Thank you for the congratulations!
I'm glad I gave you something to think about, but I am going to follow that up with a question or two: Why do I have to want to be thin in the first place? Why can't a fat girl like her body and want to be healthy without it being a contradiction? It's society's norm. I don't have to conform to a body image that doesn't make me happy. Losing the weight will make it less likely of me developing diabetes and lessen my risk of heart disease, among other things. I will be stronger, more flexible, and better able to do the things I want to do. YMMV!
just sounds like an excuse to be lazy.
That's like saying, just because people like having healthy teeth doesn't mean i need to brush. Yes my teeth will not look as nice, and slowly throughout my life my teeth will start to wear more and then eventually betray me. But i'm not conforming to society, what do they know, toothless with a weak purpose is much more important.
I think this is one of the most unsupportive comments I have seen on this site.
I'm not sure what world you come from in which losing 55 pounds through proper diet and exercise and maintaining that weight and fitness level indefinitely is considered "lazy".
Plus, if you want healthy teeth, you need to brush them.
An initial goal of 55 pounds is a very ambitious goal which will probably take her a full year. That is hardly lazy. And once she gets close to that goal, who knows, maybe she will set a new goal to lose another 30. One bit at a time.
0 -
"just sounds like an excuse to be lazy."
"That's like saying, just because people like having healthy teeth doesn't mean i need to brush. Yes my teeth will not look as nice, and slowly throughout my life my teeth will start to wear more and then eventually betray me. But i'm not conforming to society, what do they know, toothless with a weak purpose is much more important. "
That sure sounded like shaming, an attack, and a judgement to me. There was some genuine discussion, but several comments about how she wasn't giving 100%, which kinda shuts down any discussion she might have wanted to start, at least with those people.
I'm pretty ashamed at some of the responses this OP has gotten. Way to welcome her to the community! She merely expressed her personal goals and asked for friends who might share the same goals. Now this is the representation she gets.0 -
deleted.0
-
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Wow, I went away to have a healthy lunch and come back to a couple of PMs that there was a "sh@tstorm" happening in my introduction thread were not lying (thank you, lovely people for the warnings! xo)!
First off, thank you all for taking a moment to chime in. While I don't exactly feel welcomed, I think that this is a teaching moment for all those that think that I have to be free of my fat to be healthy and happy.
This is my journey, not yours. My fat is my business, not yours. You do NOT get to judge me. You know NOTHING about my life, history or motivations. I won't be bullied nor shamed into changing my goals to be more palatable to your worldview.
For those of you who have been very welcoming and messaged/friended me, thank you very much. I appreciate your genuine interest and kindness. I hope that we can all meet our goals together!
XO!
Tina
1. Not a *kitten* storm by internet standards.
2. Not a teaching moment, whatever that is.
3. Its your diet and your weoght is your business, but you put it on a public forum which means it gets talked about. People on here are about getting healthy and they all have different views of where that is, its normally by not being overweight as well as achieving certain levels of fitness. Thats different from being happy, but this site is about fitness and not happiness.
4.Unfortunately people will judge you in life.
5. I dont think you were being bullied or shamed into anything at all. I even supported your right to choose.
On internet forums people express opinions, just take it with a pinch of imaginary salt. This forum is extremely mild compared to most.
Good luck on your journey. Sometimes when you get to the top of the hill you get a different perspective.0 -
"just sounds like an excuse to be lazy."
"That's like saying, just because people like having healthy teeth doesn't mean i need to brush. Yes my teeth will not look as nice, and slowly throughout my life my teeth will start to wear more and then eventually betray me. But i'm not conforming to society, what do they know, toothless with a weak purpose is much more important. "
That sure sounded like shaming, an attack, and a judgement to me. There was some genuine discussion, but several comments about how she wasn't giving 100%, which kinda shuts down any discussion she might have wanted to start, at least with those people.
This is ONE response of over 40. So yes, let's focus on that one, shall we?0 -
Am I right in thinking that "plus-size" means over-weight?
Tea I don't think that this has to do with self-confidence / self-acceptance. You talk about health being your motivation in your first post. By definition being over-weight is not healthy, so I'm not sure why you'd stop at an unhealthy weight.
You ask me to consider the question yourself, but I haven't lost weight to be thin. I was 11st 11lb at my highest, I lost weight to be healthy.
"Plus size" MAY equal overweight, but that's the thing--- the term "plus size" is subjective!! But if we are to argue, as I am, that an overweight person can be fit and healthy, then a plus sized person can absolutely be fit and healthy.
By definition, over-weight is "above a weight considered normal or desirable". And here's the definition of normal--- "conforming to a standard". Do I need to keep going?
Society has decided what is "over-weight" and "plus sized". But physiologically, a female with a 35 inch waist and considered overweight by the norm, can absolutely maintain the same health and fitness level of a smaller woman.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I was not familiar with the term "plus size". I suppose, looking at your definition of healthy weight, we can not debate until we know what is meant by "desirable". Could be society's current definition based on aesthetics or definition in terms of health benefits.
0 -
I'm sorry you thought that your thread got too heated and that you didn't actually want a discussion. I'm very sorry you feel shamed or attacked or told that you need to be thin. That is not my reading of the discussion.
Best of luck on the rest of your journey!
People are thinking and discussing the issue of fat/thin, so that's a good thing, right? I'm just sorry that there are people who think that I am being "lazy" by doing what I want to do on my own terms. You know what? Weight loss and health is hard. For everyone. If I were a lesser person, I would cry and go eat a chocolate cake. I'm not. Haters are going to hate no matter what. You're awesome because you asked a legitimate question. It's not your fault it opened up a whole can of worms!
0 -
Not every overweight person is unhealthy and not every thin person is healthy... Tea, congratulations on being here. Let me let you in on a lil secret - once you start making healthier choices with your food, start moving more, and start feeling that awesome high because your body is being fueled right and your metabolism is kickstarted with the movement and over it all you feel the HIGH of what it is to love yourself enough to take care of YOU, the number on the scale won't matter but it will drop bunches - you won't want to stop feeling that feeling - I only have a weight goal because the site requires it, lol - to me working out and eating healthier is about the mental, emotional, and physical health of my being - the healthy curves (muscle rather than fat) and the smaller size in jeans is simply a consequence of my healthy decisions0
-
Most of the fat that gets stored when you are overweight is actually stored internally. It presses on your organs and makes it harder for them to work. So while you might want to lose x lbs to stop immediate health concerns like diabetes, you might just be prolonging the diagnosis if you stay in an obese body fat % bracket.
All you gotta do is get yourself to a safe body fat % range, you don't need to be ultra slim and ultra fit to reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. Your body works pretty normally up to fairly high levels of bodyfat (I think it is like up to 35% for women) if you truly want to remain on the heavier side without health impacts.0 -
As someone who has always been plus size and initially facing the daunting task of losing 200lbs to GW. I think youre more scared of the challenge then "being comfortable being Plus Size" Its going to be hard, require dedication, but if youre not willing to go the distance now you might as well not even try to lose the 55.0
-
This went about exactly as I thought it would. First, genuine concern that the plan was not aggressive enought. Second, people who think they know everything making ignorant comments. Third, some support. Fourth, more concern over the support that the original comment received.
Summary: CrmpetsNTea please understand that many of us have had similar thoughts in the past and have realized that several attempts later that our goals are not being reached. That is not a reflection on your plans or goals just a bit of wisdom to consider. My goal is not to be thin. My goal is to be healthy. As some have hinted at, they are not exclusive. I realize that my weight is a major hurdle to becoming healthy and weight plays into may more things than just blood pressure. That's why I have made regular cardiovascular exercise a part of my health plan. I don't know what your plan is for ultimate weight loss and where in the "plus" range you see yourself, but if it is still in the obese range I would encourage you to rethink that decision.0 -
Truittmark84 wrote: »This went about exactly as I thought it would. First, genuine concern that the plan was not aggressive enought. Second, people who think they know everything making ignorant comments. Third, some support. Fourth, more concern over the support that the original comment received.
Summary: CrmpetsNTea please understand that many of us have had similar thoughts in the past and have realized that several attempts later that our goals are not being reached. That is not a reflection on your plans or goals just a bit of wisdom to consider. My goal is not to be thin. My goal is to be healthy. As some have hinted at, they are not exclusive. I realize that my weight is a major hurdle to becoming healthy and weight plays into may more things than just blood pressure. That's why I have made regular cardiovascular exercise a part of my health plan. I don't know what your plan is for ultimate weight loss and where in the "plus" range you see yourself, but if it is still in the obese range I would encourage you to rethink that decision.
What number does your contribution come under?
0 -
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »I'm sorry you thought that your thread got too heated and that you didn't actually want a discussion. I'm very sorry you feel shamed or attacked or told that you need to be thin. That is not my reading of the discussion.
Best of luck on the rest of your journey!
People are thinking and discussing the issue of fat/thin, so that's a good thing, right? I'm just sorry that there are people who think that I am being "lazy" by doing what I want to do on my own terms. You know what? Weight loss and health is hard. For everyone. If I were a lesser person, I would cry and go eat a chocolate cake. I'm not. Haters are going to hate no matter what. You're awesome because you asked a legitimate question. It's not your fault it opened up a whole can of worms!
No can of worms was opened and there are no haters here. We aren't just random people making things up. Most of us who've done this for a while were exactly where you were. You are applying the wrong emotion to most posts in this thread.0 -
Getting to a BMI in the healthy range is no guarantee of health, nor is a low BF% or being able to lift heavy things or run long distances or run short distances very fast or any other physical feat. A healthy range BMI is just one of many health markers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making improvement of markers your goal.
Continue towards your goals and best of luck to you.0 -
-
Losing any amount of weight whether it is 5 Or 50 requires the same dedication, its not nonsense. Youre trying to tell me you can lose weight with the wrong mindset? Good luck with that..... But alas everybody's journey is different im going back to my 126 pound lost.0
-
I kinda want to put my pants on, maybe Ill just put one pant leg on and hope the rest will follow0
-
I understand completely. When I started this in 2012 I had a goal of losing 50 lbs. The beginning of this year I was diagnosed insulin resistant, hypertension and hypothyroid, making me rethink my goal. 50 lb lost would put me in the middle range for overweight, but I am happy at that weight and know it is doable for me (I spent about 15 years there). Because of my health and the serious risk of diabetes I decided, with my doc agreeing, that I needed to get to the high end of normal weight for my height, which means I should lose 80 lbs. altogether. I'm 61 and spent 15 years overweight and five years obese. The five being obese put me into poor health, I don't if being moderately overweight would have eventually done the same. All this is to say, I get your point and wish you the best. After you have lost 55 lb you may be satisfied or you may rethink your goal. Good luck to you!0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions