How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?
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That's rude, and completely inappropriate. I would have had a word with HR about them creating a hostile work environment.obscuremusicreference wrote:I had four coworkers start praying around me at an old job when I let slip that I did not share their religious views.
So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss.They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
WTF. So people who are rude about religious beliefs are wrong but it's okay to judge someone's gender identity? That has to be the worst response I've read on here EVER. You just blew GayleHawkins right out of the water with that one.
Have a nice day.
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So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss.
That is completely uncalled for. Just because they choose to identify as something you may not agree with does not mean they have "mixed-up" ideas about gender. In fact, I would say they are very confident in their choice of gender identity to be open about it.
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mustloseweight2015 wrote: »
Totally agree! I would just stay out of it, unless specifically asked to give any advice.
actually, in the original post, the problem is that the person actually WONT STOP ASKING
Exactly. I feel like people keep missing that.0 -
Devil's advocate: What makes your coworker's trainer's methods 'the wrong way'? Could it be too soon to tell? Or the scale might be the wrong tool to measure?
I would tell my coworker my honest feelings: That making a huge change to your fitness routine ('zero to sixty', especially) can result in MONTHS of water retention and other non-fat weight gain. So even if he/she is losing fat, the scale is probably not showing it.
I might also add that if I ate over 24 hours how much he/she seems to eat in 12, I couldn't lose weight. But I'd have to be pretty sure he/she was eating that much in 12 to say that. And if I only spent one day a week with him/her, I might ask if it was a typical food day.
I'd leave it at that.0 -
So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss."obscuremusicreference wrote:They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
Really just have to break in here and say that there's no need for intolerance. Gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with someone's (right or wrong) concepts of weight loss. And kudos to OP for respecting your colleague's gender-fluidity and preferred choice of pronoun.
totally exactly right. if someone is transgendered, they go by their true gender, not the sex they were born with (note there is a difference between sex and gender). if someone is transsexual, they have physically transitioned their sex to match their gender (surgery). and if someone is gender fluid, you call them what they want to be called. "they" is common. good job OP for the respect it takes to do exactly that.
as for the question, i would listen intently about what they were saying - eat 6 small meals a day? i've heard about that! good that you're giving it a try. how much do you eat for each meal, the portions must be half the usual size. (got the statement in there inoffensively).
and i would ask them if they were consulting a registered dietitian, a holistic nutritionist, etc. say that trainers know a lot about what works for THEM but nutritionists know a lot more about what works for MANY people.0 -
this too. "no offense but" just means you're going to say something they'll take offense to, and you bloody well know it.
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Don't have the conversation. You don't agree, so change the subject. You may even have to actually state, "We have different viewpoints on this so perhaps it's best we talk about something else."0
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So there are some other mixed-up ideas, not just about weight loss."obscuremusicreference wrote:They consider themselves gender fluid, so pretty much how they are feeling that particular day
Really just have to break in here and say that there's no need for intolerance. Gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with someone's (right or wrong) concepts of weight loss. And kudos to OP for respecting your colleague's gender-fluidity and preferred choice of pronoun.
totally exactly right. if someone is transgendered, they go by their true gender, not the sex they were born with (note there is a difference between sex and gender). if someone is transsexual, they have physically transitioned their sex to match their gender (surgery). and if someone is gender fluid, you call them what they want to be called. "they" is common. good job OP for the respect it takes to do exactly that.
as for the question, i would listen intently about what they were saying - eat 6 small meals a day? i've heard about that! good that you're giving it a try. how much do you eat for each meal, the portions must be half the usual size. (got the statement in there inoffensively).
and i would ask them if they were consulting a registered dietitian, a holistic nutritionist, etc. say that trainers know a lot about what works for THEM but nutritionists know a lot more about what works for MANY people.
Seeing as they respect my relationship status, so it would be hypocritical to expect them to accept me and for me not to accept them.
As for the issue, I think just a straight forward conversation might be the way to go.0 -
I have a coworker who kind of does this...we've talked about it and she knows that it's more about the calories (or she does WW points, which works for her when she tracks it).
I just say (gently) "You can't out-train a bad diet" and she laughs.
HOWEVER...I consider her a personal friend, we've talked about our struggles in the past, and she has said the same thing to me when I'm being naughty. And I laugh.
If you do not have that kind of relationship with your coworker, I would not say anything, unless specifically asked. Then explain it. Gently.
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I was at my men's bible study & fellowship last night. Twice during the night, at the top of the meeting, and during pizza eating afterward, weight loss came up. The usual came up; carbs make you fat, don't eat after a certain hour, so on and so forth. I just kept my mouth shut. Most of the people here have no idea I've lost over 100 pounds. I've found, in most cases, it's just not even worth it to try and educate people on this stuff. Not worth the debates unless you have a real, genuine chance to educate somebody who is open to hearing.0
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I really appreciate everyone's advice. I think I may just bring it up next shift and say "hey, I get you have a personal trainer and I think that is awesome, and I enjoy hearing about the workouts (which I do, they give me ideas) but can we make complaining about the scale an off limit topic? It has been bothering me lately" and see what they say.
Also I am using gender neutral pronouns for a reason.
Complaining..is it a female? J/k
I would just word drop things like bmr and tdee in regards to yourself and what you're doing for a deficit. Maybe they'll get curious and look it up. I like to avoid confrontation in work environments so I wouldn't tell anyone that they're complaining..but to each their own.0 -
re: How do you deal with someone else's very wrong concepts of weightloss?
I say nothing unless asked.
If asked, I mention MFP0 -
In real life, I just smile and say okay unless they specifically are asking me for advice.
Here, well........We all know how it goes.
that is what I do …
my friends GF is always complaining about too much sugar is bad and you will gain weight if you are eating sugar and bla bla bla….I just smile and nod my head ….easier then getting into a huge debate..
OP - I would just leave it be and let your progress speak for itself. Maybe this person will notice you are progressing faster and ask you how you are doing it …then you can give a reasoned response….0 -
obscuremusicreference wrote: »Smile, nod, then complain about how you have to buy new pants again and you're glad you saved money on a trainer.
LOL. Terrific response. Like another poster said, don't make it your problem. OR you could mysteriously become one of those ppl who talk about nothing else but their weight loss, how great it is, how much weight you're losing and do it while talking fair over the top of the other guy.
It will probably be so irritating to them not being heard by you, that they'll shut up about their own weight stuff.
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oh lord. I remember this girl who was trying to become my trainer at my current gym told me i'm not allowed to eat bananas because they have too much sugar and I shouldn't count calories. I need to just eat lots of "good carbs." In her exact words:
"Ya I don't believe in counting calories..... You should try and eat only good carbs.....What is a typical day for eating? Oh ya you shouldn't be putting half a banana in your protein shake that has wayyy to much sugar and contributes to you not losing weight"
I just laughed. - Trainers are meant for exercise not diet!
OP just let it ride out on their own - or if you cant stand it just be blunt. Not sure what else to say but i had some very wrong ideas about health and weight loss and I learned on my own in my own way.
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I have had this situation happen to me with a close friend. I was eating one way, she wasn't and had a lot of issues on her end. I told her about what I was doing, she went on her own way, dismissively at that, and then one day she decided it was for her because she read a book. Now she is like she did this all the time and its the greatest thing ever, even though I was at this 4 years ago. I just smile and nod now. But if she were to challenge me on something, well, that would be something entirely different.0
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We had a pretty open an non-volatile conversation about it before work last night. They actually appologized and said they didn't realize they were annoying me lol. I casually mentioned CICO and they said they were going to give the advice they were getting another month, and if no change, try CICO. I simply said okay and if they need an app to track that, I know of a good one.
Seems like the issue got put to rest. Although they were curious if I had enough of the brownie I brought to work to share LOL (which I always bring a few servings of if I bake so a) they are out of the house and b) I can brag tha GF brownies Re just as awesome).0 -
Yup… I have a co-worker like that! Either she is a complete idiot and misunderstood every word her trainer said… or her trainer was a complete idiot. I tried for a time to correct her… or at least put what her trainer said in the proper context…. but that got me nowhere. I stopped saying anything at all. I just let my results do all the talking for me. I only talk when she asks a specific question related to what I'm doing. She still doesn't listen to me because she doesn't want to hear that she has to eat less calories than she burns…. but 109 pounds later...she stops trying to tell me I don't know anything either!0
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cincysweetheart wrote: »Yup… I have a co-worker like that! Either she is a complete idiot and misunderstood every word her trainer said… or her trainer was a complete idiot. I tried for a time to correct her… or at least put what her trainer said in the proper context…. but that got me nowhere. I stopped saying anything at all. I just let my results do all the talking for me. I only talk when she asks a specific question related to what I'm doing. She still doesn't listen to me because she doesn't want to hear that she has to eat less calories than she burns…. but 109 pounds later...she stops trying to tell me I don't know anything either!
That's good they stopped but I feel bad that they dismiss advice that obviously worked for you. Thankfully my co-worker was very receptive to what I had to say.0 -
We had a pretty open an non-volatile conversation about it before work last night. They actually appologized and said they didn't realize they were annoying me lol. I casually mentioned CICO and they said they were going to give the advice they were getting another month, and if no change, try CICO. I simply said okay and if they need an app to track that, I know of a good one.
Seems like the issue got put to rest. Although they were curious if I had enough of the brownie I brought to work to share LOL (which I always bring a few servings of if I bake so a) they are out of the house and b) I can brag tha GF brownies Re just as awesome).
RESULT!
good for you
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