What's your biggest weight loss / fitness pet peeve?

BIGGEST pet peeve is when people say "cleanses/detox/fasting diets don't work". It really depends on how they are used... they can be incredibly useful at kick-starting weight loss and making old habits die fast & hard. The afterwards you switch to a healthier diet than before and maintain. Obviously the diet is not something to be done for a life time. We know that. However after the detox/cleanse/fast there are changes that occur to your preferences, that DO last a lifetime.

For example, at 163 pounds (my highest weight) I eliminated wheat for like a month or so last year, after reading the book "Wheat Belly". I lost 20 pounds and have kept it off effortlessly. I eat bread now but it just doesn't taste/feel as good or as normal is before. Bagels and Mcdonalds breakfast sandwiches are a treat now, where as before they were a daily thing I ate without thinking.

Now after about a year of maintaining 143ish, I am confident that my weight is STABLE. I'm on to the next "detox/cleanse" -- GREEN SMOOTHIES! I'm only drinking these for the next few days

yoovie wrote: »

obscuremusicreference wrote: »

concordancia wrote: »

lemurcat12 wrote: »

KnM0107 wrote: »

"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."

How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.

I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.

It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.

I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"

Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.

True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.

As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.

When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.

I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!

chadya07 wrote: »

that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.

my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.

but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.

the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?

its all very complicated though..with moms...

you know what - you are 100 percent right.

those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.

If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.

If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.

Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.

AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.

Did I get it right?

If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.