What's your biggest weight loss / fitness pet peeve?
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obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Yeah, that's totally what she said...
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Speaking as a veggie loving heavy adult...
Eating veggies doesn't cancel out other calories. I mean, if you're filling UP on veggies, awesome. While I love salads, I can't claim that they make me particularly full. (Then again, in my case, I have a broken appetite and don't find it useful to trust it)0 -
edited for space savingWhen I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. ...I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people.that the thing though. you should (consider the weight of the people you are conversing with when expressing unhappiness with your own body -uv). i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them.
...my mom gained a lot of weight suddenly and now she ... repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation.
PAUSE
1. I said when I am thinking about myself on the beach, not when Im talking to people at thanksgiving.
2. there's nothing wrong with failing to judge strangers at the beach on their looks because you feel so awful about your own appearance.
...moving onit is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down.
because when someone is sinking into a hole of self-hatred, they should have the decency not to accidentally insult strangers nearby that might possibly weigh more than them. it's not about their breakdown, it's about the people nearby that could accidentally have their feelings hurt.people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
Because it's the listener's feelings that matter, not the person crying because she hates herself.SingRunTing wrote: »
Yeah, that's totally what she said...
i know.
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Fad Diets. Ugh, I hate them!
I feel like they're so misleading. Like "Hey, eat this boxed food for a month and you'll drop 30 lbs" Right, and then a few months later you'll gain it all back. There is no long term plan for maintenance on these kind of plans.
I like this instead: eat what you want, but smaller portions, with lower calorie ingredients. It's working pretty well for me so far. I don't feel deprived of anything which make losing weight a much more plesant experience.0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »Pandapotato wrote: »What is something people say or do regarding healthy living / weight / fitness that is your pet peeve?
But people just think that because its a salad, its automatically healthy.
I hate this one too! and I completely agree. It's easy to pile on the calories in a salad if you're not careful.0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »When they post they want to "loose" weight.
Hahahaha! Yes, this too! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who notices this.
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I think a lot of diabetics might understand this:
I exercise to burn calories. I do not adjust my insulin dosages enough to account for the exercise, my insulin sensitivity increases, and I go into hypoglycemia. I then need to consume calories to treat the low.
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Biggest pet peeve, would be hearing people tell me "you should be doing {insert new exercise program here}, you'll never get to your goal doing what you're doing now."
The reason there are so many different exercise programs out there is because not everyone enjoys doing the same thing (or can do it). If you find something that gets you off the couch and wanting to move, GREAT! Keep doing it! Please, just let me do what I like. I have a long way to go and I would like to spend the time doing something that makes me happy.
Or, "you should be doing {insert fad diet here}, so and so lost 100 lbs in 6 months!" Great for so and so. I would rather change my habits make my weight loss permanent.0 -
you must have been so unhappy with yourself (after i lost about 60lbs) never really wanted to hit a woman before but this was close.
i was never fat cause i was unhappy with myself (or hated myself) i was fat cause i ate fast food all the time0 -
Wronkletoad wrote: »NoelFigart1 wrote: »People who don't know lane ettiquette in a lap swimming situation.
am one who's not sure about this - I always have to ask. From my competitive swimming days, I'm comfortable with circle swimming (regardless of lane partner's abilities), but still have to ask if they want to do "left side / right side")...
what is your pool's ettiquette?
As far as I am aware, it's fairly standard.
1. Make sure when you get in to share a lane, the other swimmer knows you're there.
2. Maintain awareness of everyone in your lane.
3. If you have to circle swim, do it with people of comperable speeds.
4. No, you really can't refuse to share a lane. They're asking as a sop to the social dance, but you have to say yes unless the person is trying to grope you or something. Then the proper etiquette is to drown the person. Cracking their head on the side of the pool makes an unnecessary mess and brains mess up the filtration system.
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Know it alls with no progress to speak of...0
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Telling me your excuses as to why you don't run, workout, etc.
Making snide comments like "I would offer you a piece of cake but I know you only eat carrots."0 -
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
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ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!0 -
They're just examples. I don't think everyone does it.
ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
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When people see me logging my lunch and ask "whats that?", I explain and they lose interest half way through my explanation.
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Its really interesting to see how woman react to the comments that someone may make about their own appearance, compared to when a guy does it. For example
Guy1: "Man, I look like sh**. I need to lose some weight"
Guy2: "I agree (input fat shaming word here), you are embarrassing me"
It may not be exact but is pretty close I think. Also the body composition of either guy doesn't matter for this conversation to happen.
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They're just examples. I don't think everyone does it.
ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
BUT someone does it at least once on every thread <g>
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Frankly, it's when people use "loose" when they mean "lose." I don't know why, but it drives me batty!0
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