Should you leave your OH if they are not supportive?

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13

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  • RunerRita
    RunerRita Posts: 13
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    You need to remember they are also on this journey; only for themselves. They need to accept the changes in you but you are not responsible for their journey. If they do not have it in themselves to support you, after you have given them what they need to understand, think about yourself and do whatever you need to stay on the right track. I am very fortunate that my husband made the journey with me, however, it wasn't without it's hardships. He was very insecure with what I was doing for myself but after he saw the change in me he was along for the ride right alongside me! I hope you have the same thing!
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
    MrM27 wrote: »
    You should be having this conversation with him. No one can tell you what to do in your relationship as it is your relationship.

    THIS

    There'd be no internet if people actually did THIS.
  • FredDoyle
    FredDoyle Posts: 2,273 Member
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    You leave your OH if you don't love him and communication has broken down

    Why is your title so dramatic?

    Plus I thought she was talking about Ohio.

    What does it mean? Or did she mean to write DH or SO??
    OH... obtuse husband?

    Other half (or as I say for my wife, better half)
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    My hubby is exactly the same. We have fights over me wanting to lose weight! I've only got 11lbs left to lose, and he doesn't want me to lose anymore.
    He makes me calorie laden smoothies and all sorts of delicious treats! The smoothie went into the freezer for the next day, the chips went back in the packet and the food back in the fridge! He's only got a tiny belly, so hardly any weight to lose.
    I'm going to get to my goal with or without his help!!
  • BodyByButter
    BodyByButter Posts: 563 Member
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    This sounds like a fairly uncommitted relationship if you can seriously ask that, and on a public forum.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    MrM27 wrote: »
    You should be having this conversation with him. No one can tell you what to do in your relationship as it is your relationship.

    A thousand times this.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Are you seriously thinking of leaving your partner because he buys you take-away? Sheesh...

    You leave your partner when you don't love them anymore or the relationship has unsurmountable issues. Anything else, you have a conversation....
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    ana3067 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    You leave your OH if you don't love him and communication has broken down

    Why is your title so dramatic?

    Plus I thought she was talking about Ohio.

    What does it mean? Or did she mean to write DH or SO??
    OH... obtuse husband?

    I think she means other half. And I really doubt he's her husband.

    Ohhhhhh. Never heard of that, I've just been reading it as the word "oh" in my head.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    OP deactivated her account.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    RodaRose wrote: »
    OP deactivated her account.
    Ouch. Hopefully that doesn't stop her from still working on her goals :/
  • heftybelson
    heftybelson Posts: 30
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    maybe he is a feeder, viz a viz perhaps your not supporting him!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    ana3067 wrote: »
    RodaRose wrote: »
    OP deactivated her account.
    Ouch. Hopefully that doesn't stop her from still working on her goals :/

    Hopefully it gave her some food for though and she's off to have an adult conversation with her partner...
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    ana3067 wrote: »
    RodaRose wrote: »
    OP deactivated her account.
    Ouch. Hopefully that doesn't stop her from still working on her goals :/

    Hopefully it gave her some food for though and she's off to have an adult conversation with her partner...

    Awe, maybe they will talk about it over a warm McDonald's meal <3
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,275 Member
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    Welcome to my world..
  • kelleycallen
    kelleycallen Posts: 10
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    I was watching a video on facebook and a guy was giving advice dont expect your support from people closet to you. He was saying be your own support. Its kindve like they love you but it may be imtimidating if you lose weight to him. He may be feeling insecure about himself. I would say start cooking at home. Make it fun .make meals for you and him... tweek your meals to low calories and make him stuff that he has no idea the calories are cut. That way in a secret way you can still have control. :)
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    kelleycallen wrote: »
    I was watching a video on facebook and a guy was giving advice dont expect your support from people closet to you. He was saying be your own support. Its kindve like they love you but it may be imtimidating if you lose weight to him. He may be feeling insecure about himself. I would say start cooking at home. Make it fun .make meals for you and him... tweek your meals to low calories and make him stuff that he has no idea the calories are cut. That way in a secret way you can still have control. :)
    This is so true. I have found loads of support from people I'd have never guessed would be my cheerleaders. I have also found a surprising amount of nastiness from people who I thought would be happiest for me.

    It's true what they say about how you find out who your real friends are when things go wrong AND when things go well. Surprising and disappointing. But it's better to know, I guess. :)
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Kalikel wrote: »
    kelleycallen wrote: »
    I was watching a video on facebook and a guy was giving advice dont expect your support from people closet to you. He was saying be your own support. Its kindve like they love you but it may be imtimidating if you lose weight to him. He may be feeling insecure about himself. I would say start cooking at home. Make it fun .make meals for you and him... tweek your meals to low calories and make him stuff that he has no idea the calories are cut. That way in a secret way you can still have control. :)
    This is so true. I have found loads of support from people I'd have never guessed would be my cheerleaders. I have also found a surprising amount of nastiness from people who I thought would be happiest for me.

    It's true what they say about how you find out who your real friends are when things go wrong AND when things go well. Surprising and disappointing. But it's better to know, I guess. :)

    I also find that a lot of the time when people say they want ther partner to be 'supportive', what they really mean is that they want their partner to make changes, like stop buying take-away or candy, or not eat it in front of them, or eat the same kale-quinoa salad the person looking for support is having instead of a steak.

    I think one of the big things about being your own support is realising that YOU are the one making the change, and it isn't fair to impose it on someone else. I know that just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean that my husband ought to, and to suddenly say "right, I'm making changes for myself and now I expect you to not bring chips or candy into the house, and no we can't have the food you're craving because I can't eat it" is, well... crap, really. Self support and self control is the key, you can't force others to do it for you and if you try, you can't blame them if there is some push back.
  • ellisboyd1
    ellisboyd1 Posts: 67 Member
    edited January 2015
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    there are two kinds of people:

    a) those who climb ladders.
    b) and those who pull people down ladders, because they can't be bothered to climb up.

    we all know this, and have probably done it at some time, in some way. type a) revises for exams, type b) says "SWAT", "NERD", "GEEK".

    type a) gets into good shape, type b) says "OMG, that girl with some slight definition on her arms looks like a man", or "he's probably on steroids; nobody can gain 10lbs of muscle in a year".

    my wife & I are type a)'s - we help each other. if you're with a type b), he'll eventually drag you down to his level because weighing you down is easier than climbing himself up.

    Decide which type your boyfriend is.

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