Dealing with people who try to derail you.

Mate, dont let her derail you, if this weight loss is going to help you in a medical sense then just do it. Dont bother with her, the only reason she is saying this, is to make herself feel better about her own look, she doesnt want to be noticed at work. If you work in a place and all about the same weight, size etc. Then she can blend in, when the people around her start to change, then her comfort zone changes and poeple start to notice her, for the what she thinks is the wrong reason, and she doesnt want to deal with her own weight issue.

So stick at it mate, dont let her stop you as you are traveling in the right direction and for the better.

Good luck and take care.

People will constantly try to derail you - sometimes unknowingly - sometimes in spite. Let it go - focus on your goal and why you are getting healthy. In the end - the only one that matters is you. Your opinion, your body, yourself. Best of luck!

You'll be surprised how many people in life try and get in your way. **** them.

First off, CONGRATULATIONS on reaching your first milestone goal!

I work in healthcare, too. I have found the setting I work in greatly influences the attitudes of my coworkers towards a healthy lifestyle. Doctors offices and hospital workers surprisingly have the worst attitudes towards healthy eating and exercise. Don't listen to them! Surround yourself with like-minded people, like this discussion board on MFP. Read motivating stories and quotes to keep you on track. Stay focused on your medical goal. I remember when Oprah was trying to lose weight, even ran a marathon. Then, one day, she finally gave up and said she was happy with who she was. She let women believe its okay to be obese.

Well, it's not. It contributes to health conditions and makes people suffer, especially as they age. I see it every day at my work, taking care of these people. That's what motivates me the most--I don't want to become my patients, with all their medical conditions and chronic diseases, medications, and negativity. I will never be super skinny, but I can be a good role model for my patients, my friends, and especially my young nieces and nephews. Maybe this will help you keep your focus. But definitely, don't let this woman derail you. Focus on the people that keep encouraging you to reach your goals. We are here for you!

Old saying "Hang around dogs and sooner or later you'll get fleas". Honestly, the best thing to do is say "Thanks" and continue with what you're doing. There are people out there that believe that the advice they give will be precious to the person they're telling to. Many times it's not the right advice.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I can understand your frustration. I have a boyfriend that likes to keep me chubby. Unfortunately, I have type 2 diabetes and need to lose weight. Both my mom and grandmother died very young due to health issues. I don't want to follow in their footsteps. I have realized that I need to make smart choices for myself. I have let other people influence my decisions all of my life and I need to start living for myself. Others can either be happy with my success and support me or they can get out of my way. That is my new attitude for 2015!!!
Good luck to both of us!!!!

Offer to show her MFP.

JVS1 wrote: »

another colleague this time last year, who just smiled and carried on losing 30lbs, which she has kept off.

JVS1 wrote: »

if so, how did you deal with it?

You should have asked your colleague. She sounds like she has it sussed.

I have people who tell me not to worry because they think my weight is fine. All I want to achieve is a normal BMI and to feel healthier and happier, and I put that over every thing anyone else says to me.

I would definitely consider privately telling her how you feel. I would think that she's probably concerned that she can't lose weight so she wants the people around her to stay the same. Maybe you can explain how you are finding your weight loss journey? It might encourage her to give it a go and give you someone to talk to about the weight loss.

I was encouraged by a friend who went from around 16 stone to under 11 stone in 2 years. At the time I didn't understand why she wanted to keep losing after losing a couple of stone, but then I started to gain a bit more and realised I was heading to where she used to be and that she had done it for a reason, and she really gave me a kick up the backside just by indirectly showing me how great a person can feel and be by losing weight. I started to do it and then another friend of mine followed. We're all the smallest we've been in years (we were all overweight in college) and we're all amazed at how great we've done

I get people attempting to sabotage me all the time. I just give them a stern look and say "I am following my doctor's orders. This diet and weight loss are medically necessary." I mean, it's true. They still try to say "just one twinkie won't kill you," I say "no, I won't do that."

I would just say something like "I hear you" or "I'll consider that" that way she feels like her concerns are being taken seriously by you and then you walk away and go right on taking care of and feeling good about yourself.

I know a woman who is sort of related to me (by two marriages) who was always overweight and always wanted a boob job, so she got a personal trainer and a dietician and worked really really hard to get super skinny and looked great, got the boob job and a little lipo while she was at it. She looked great! But she has now put back on about 20 pounds. She still would look great if she purchased clothes that fit, but she keeps trying to wear size 4s while she's now a solid 6-8.

Regardless, during the same time period, I've lost about 40 pounds and I have about 40 to go. I'm doing it slower but I'm definitely hoping to keep it off! (I also work, she doesn't, and there are other factors that keep me just a lot busier.) So what was my Christmas gift from her this year? Food. Fudge. Sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, various other candies. Popcorn.

I walked out of the house and looked at my husband and just laughed. I told him, get this stuff out of my sight, or I'll eat it all! And we got home and over the next 4 days I did indeed eat. it. all.

So it worked, her little derail worked.

I have my own opinion about her reasons, but the bottom line is that it worked because I let it. I could have put it away, I could have had my husband take it to his office. I didn't. And I'm paying for it. She's not! She didn't get heartburn because she ate two pieces of fudge and a handful of sugar cookies before bed! She didn't watch the scale creep up pound after pound!

So think about who's going to pay if you listen to your derailers. Are they? No. You are. You know what you need to do, you know what's good for you. You, and your doctor, know where you need to be. Ignore the jealousy, ignore the "you're fine/beautiful/fit/healthy just the way you are!" If you were fine/beautiful/fit/healthy, you wouldn't be here, and you wouldn't care if someone said that to you.

Whether or not it is medically necessary - who cares? It really is none of your co-workers business. I would not even stoop to giving an explanation as to why you want to get healthy? (does a person really need one?!)

In the beginning, I felt like many people were sabotaging my efforts. I just kept on going, and looked to MFP for support and like-minded people to talk to during this journey. Often, when someone tells you not to lose weight, it is due to their own insecurities. (Unless they have a legitimate concern about eating disorders...which I think this is more of a family thing, not a co-worker discussion).

I would lose the mentality of "someone is trying to derail me." That gives over too much power to other people. Just do you. People say stupid sh&t all the time. That's life.