Preteens eating my diet food

MFP, I need advice! I was going to call this thread "Food and parenting" but I see that topic is already taken *grin*

So, I am the mom in a family of 4. My children are preteens, and I am the only one with a weight problem. Kids and husband are normal weight (but aware of what they eat/how much they exercise), and I still have 40-50 lbs to go after 30 lbs lost in 6 months.

We all eat fresh, healthy food - very little that's processed or from a package. I cook every day, and shop every week. Our pantry and fridge are stocked with a wide variety of foods for meals and snacks: cereal, veggies, meat, cheese, eggs, soup, bread, crackers, fresh & dried fruit, etc etc etc. I stock the fruit bowl to overflowing twice a week. My kids have fairly sophisticated palates for their ages and generally prefer fresh food to junk. They can both cook and they make their own lunches.

I spend about $300/week on groceries because we eat really well. Money's not a problem, but I like to shop smart.

I buy stuff for the family that I don't eat myself. I don't drink soymilk, but one child prefers it, so I buy it for him even though it's expensive. One child likes chips in his lunch, so I buy them even though I'd rather not have them in the house (remember, judgmental folks from the "Parenting and Food" thread: no weight problem). I buy each child their preferred cereal, and let them add to the grocery week through the week (within reason!). My husband prefers organic eggs ($6/carton as opposed to $3 for the regular ones), so I buy them for the household, even though it's expensive.

The problem is that I also buy "diet" foods for myself that look delicious to everyone else, and that are expensive enough that I wouldn't buy them otherwise. They're not the bulk of my diet, but they are something to really look forward to, and they keep me "on the wagon". For example, one of my favorite nighttime snacks is a dab of greek yogurt with a few fresh raspberries or strawberries. It's about 35 calories and I'd rather have that than candy. Or I'll buy salad shrimp and have them for lunch over a few days (150 cals for an amazing salad that I look forward to all day).

But with preteens in the house, my delicious-but-low-cal-foods disappear instantly. For example, I bought a pint of out-of-season raspberries for $6 (ouch) and hid them in the veggie drawer. That's a week's worth for me. The kids found them and ate them all at once. Or I'll buy fresh strawberries in December ($8/qt), and then find that my husband (generally VERY supportive, but he loves strawberries too) put them ALL in a smoothie, even though we have tons of frozen fruit that's just as good if all you're doing it is throwing it in a blender. To me that's incredibly wasteful, but more importantly, it means I can't have my strawberries and yogurt.

This week I bought salad shrimp and labelled them "Mom's stuff, don't touch". My kids have been hounding me about the darned things for 3 days, but at least they haven't eaten them. But now I feel guilty. Maybe I shouldn't buy stuff at all if it's not "for everyone". Unless it's for one of them, but not for me.

The mom is always supposed to put herself last. And usually I do. You could say that's one reason I'm still fat with "baby weight" 10 years later ... because taking care of my kids, going to work, volunteering at school, helping with homework, cooking for the family - everything took priority over exercise. I'm trying to change that, because sometimes you have to put yourself first, right?

So my question is: Am I being totally unreasonable and selfish to think I can have a few little luxuries in very small quantities that are too expensive for my teens to gobble down? Or are they being selfish by eating "reserved" food, like if I drank up my son's soymilk when I could just as easily drink cow's milk, but he can't? Or is there another option I'm not thinking of?

MFP hivemind: discuss.