We broke up because...
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he hogged the mirror.0
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Always took forever to get ready and hogged the bathroom0
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Caught me in the bathroom with assthetik, swear I just dropped the soap!0
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She took like 4ever0
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I was never enough for her0
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I didn't like all of the weed0
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He didn't buy the story of my needing to use "Medical" Marijuana six times a day!0
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Only wanted to smoke 6 times day0
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Told the cops it was my weed0
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I was just an idiot. Why the hell did I let her go?0
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My horse didn't like her.0
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He was too in love with his horse.0
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Was mad I kept saying "Wilburrrrrrrrr" at our sexy-times0
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She would take a bikini selfie everywhere we went!0
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Her hair was too perfect!0
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Our shoe shopping sprees were too much!0
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Spent all my hard earned money on shoes.0
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He insisted on running everywhere we went and it got tiring0
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She made me insecure about my love handles0
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She decided I wasn't good looking enough.0
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She lost so much weight running that she turned into a super milf. She left me for a guy on a fitness site.0
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I am have a phobic of stars0 -
Oops, typo. Bad Android!
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She kept blaming all her mistakes on auto-correct0
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He always corrected everything I did!0
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I never did anything right, she even rewrote my wedding vows AFTER I had said them in front of our families.0
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Was enaged to another woman.0
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he was a "biter"0
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We couldn't decide on who was gonna have the better 50th Birthday Party!!!0
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she was out of my league!0
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