We broke up because...
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She threw sand in my eyes, twice0
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She liked to party, I liked to stay home0
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she looked better in bikinis then me0
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She lived in a motorhome0
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I had to lie and say I lived in a motor home so that he wouldnt want to come see my place - which was always filled with wizards0
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She collected harry potter figurines.0
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He couldn't understand why I would read every harry potter book 7 times0
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I could never handle her wand0
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I couldnt find his wand0
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he always wanted me to look closer0
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She didnt have very good eye sight0
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I kept asking who lumbergh was and all he'd say was "you know!!!!"0
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He slept with lumbergh0
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He quoted lines from SpongeBob cartoons0
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He always though, damn it feels good to be a gangsta0
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caught me watching Prison Sloots Volume 3 in her 3rd trimester0
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I never knew we were dating0
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he caught me hiding in the bushes0
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She didn't believe me when I told her I saw a unicorn in the kitchen0
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she was in to unicorns0
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He didn't believe in fairytales0
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She was too critical of my belief system0
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Swore reggae-country music was a thing
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Wanted to be in Quentin Tarantino movies.0
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He scared me... Really0
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Was tired of dealing with little girls.0
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