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We broke up because...
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she didn't like randomness0
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he lived by Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy0
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She didn't like name changes.0
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I found out he was on the lamb!0
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She wouldn't eat lamb0
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she used the bedroom to butcher lambs and loved to make love on the blood0
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He only cared about his needs0
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I have needs too!!!!0
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she was the inspiration for the show Hoarders0
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He had the hoar part down0
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he never wanted to go down on me0
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He always wanted me to catch him...
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He was chasing after jr all of the time!0
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He never bought me a diamond ring0
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Always appraised the gifts i gave her0
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She didn't like the sapphire ring.0
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He bought my jewelry from the Flea market0
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she didn't like the flea market0
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Because I was hungry too often.0
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She dared to eat my lunch!0
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Every time i spoke she would eat my lunch0
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He got pissed everytime I ate his food.0
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She always ate my oreos0
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He didn't eat his oreos with milk.0
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Like wtf?1 Who does that?!?!0
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She was always bickering. Why dont you do this why dont you do that.0
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He said I wasn't allowed to get in touch with my feelings0
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Batteries where getting expensive with all her touchy feely0
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