Dating age difference

I never had a limit on age but then again, never pictured myself falling for someone over 10 years older than me let alone 18. I do think age is just a number but there are some caveats stated in the story below.

Here's my story: I was friends with this guy who was 44 at the time and I was 26 and over a couple years I ended up falling for him, as I approached 30, he was approaching 50.

He ended up really hurting me in the end and married someone his own age not long after we broke up but I realize it really was for the best and I'm not just saying that because I got burned. I'm saying that because 18 years difference means a lot; he had been married twice, one wife died, has 4 grown children with their own kids (one of his daughters was around my age so that made it a bit awkward) and had been through a lot in his life with quite a bit of emotional baggage/damage. All of that was fine with me because I really loved him and thought he loved me and was fine with it. Towards the end he second-guessed the whole thing even though we discussed marriage, he wondered if I would eventually leave him for a younger, better looking man or that I would tire of him being old and me still having energy and he really didn't want me to become a caregiver for him as he aged.

I refuted all of this and stated that even spouses who are the same age eventually have to care for one or each other and that I would never leave him since I didn't want anyone else and had no interest in guys my age.

It turned out that he really didn't love me since he so easily left me after we had known each other for almost 5 years and he married another who was his age; but really, he saved me, saved me from a life I would probably regret even though I still have love after almost 2 years.

I now see in retrospect that he would've been right. I would never have left him but maybe I would've looked at younger guys and thought.. "if only.." or maybe he would always have been suspicious that I would leave him and that would've caused tension. It would be difficult aging at different paces too. Had we both been in great health, it might have been a bit different; we both wanted to lose weight and get healthy and it never worked. Actually, I'm thankful this happened since this catapulted me into this journey of getting fit and healthy. I had wanted to change for awhile but I wasn't, so after this happened, I decided it was time for a change and to do something positive for myself and not give in.
Eating healthier and working out at the gym was like my therapy and I really fell in love with the gym and healed through that and other things.

So, I wouldn't deter someone from dating a person older than them, even by 20 years but I wouldn't recommend it either since it will come with challenges and problems. I did a lot of research about "May-December" relationships and that helped a lot.

As far as dating anyone younger than me, they would have to be super mature and responsible, I wouldn't go under 10 years younger and even 21 sounds super young to me (I'm 31). It would really depend.

Will I date someone older in the future? Sure, but most likely not more than 15 years older and would like to stick to 10 years give or take.

It wasn't a horrible experience and I learned a lot but also it was THE most painful since we were friends and best friends and I saw my life with him and then he just totally destroyed my heart. (yes, I'm being dramatic but it was traumatic..) Then again, it was the best thing since it moved me change my life.

My first thought was that age is nothing but a number. However, there is more to it than that. Undateable for me would be 19 and under. Yep, teenagers are undateable at this stage in my life. We may have a connection and even things in common because I'm still a big kid at heart but that is too young for me. Having said that, if I have a connection, attraction, and things in common with him then he's dateable in my book. Oh, and not teenager.

I hope that made sense.

My bf is 2 years younger. First time I've dated a younger man and not sure if it's just the person or the age, but it's been interesting to say the least. Taking the high road I'll just say I think it's better to date an older man.

jenjencin78 wrote: »

My bf is 2 years younger. First time I've dated a younger man and not sure if it's just the person or the age, but it's been interesting to say the least. Taking the high road I'll just say I think it's better to date an older man.

Honey , your reaching cougar status in 2 years you will be dating in the mid to upper 20's

salembambi wrote: »

stuart160 wrote: »

God it's making me laugh to see 30's and 40's described as old. I think when I was younger I may would have agreed with age ranges but then I was a lot stupider then. Now I tend to agree that age is just a number. I date people, not ages..

yea them evil stupid young people having preferences ...being older means you are much much smarter eh?

Usually, yes, very much so. As I said when I was 15 or 40 and in between. Age tends to beget experience, which increases your ability to make smarter decisions. Some less so than others, but almost all the time better decisions than when the same person was less experienced. And everyone starts at different levels and abilities, so some 16yos make better decisions than some 60 yos, but not on average...nothing wrong with that person's statement. Even Stephen Hawking would probably say he was much stupider at a younger age, self comparison is no "ism" "prejudice" or "offense"...

I'm too lazy to read the OP. I'm going to make an assumption here and just spew my opinion. I'm 36 and have never been with anyone younger than me, in fact, I've always been with older people. I think there are "old" souls and "young" souls. Meaning, some people are young but very mature, they have a certain character about them that makes them seem older than they are. Then there are people who are older that are very immature. So does age matter? I don't think so. Unless they're under 18, because then you'd be breaking the law . If 2 people really care about eachother and make a connection, who the efff cares? It's not my job to judge. I hate when I see a younger woman with an older man and everyones first reaction is, "He must be rich". Really? Is Jesus hiring?

My fiance is 32 (about to be 33) and I just turned 23, there's not much difference between us, other then he has a 11 and 9 year old girls and I don't.

My ex was 4.5 years younger than me, he was 19 when I was 23, almost 24. Didn't work at all and it kinda put me off younger guys.. (Not fair, I know) I'm 26 now and would date up to 10 years older than me, and maybe 1 or 2 years younger. Maybe..

I just turned 29 and my fiancé is about to turn 43, a gap of 14 years. I don't care at all, I'd be with him if the gap was 20 years, or 30, or 40, because he's the right one for me. So long as everyone is legal, there's nothing wrong with an age gap of any size. There's also nothing wrong with some people having a personal preference about age gaps, of course. Live and let live! Someone else's relationship age-choice shouldn't be of concern to anyone else. If you have a problem with your 19 year old neighbour dating their 55 year old co-worker or whatever, that's your problem alone, and you've no right to try and make it theirs.

As long as her credit score is good, age isn't important.