What is the worst thing about being fat?

Jasonmylis · February 2015

It's a toss-up between the way my clothes fit and cling to my fat, or getting winded easily just bending over to tie my shoes because of the pressure on my fat belly. It's not as bad now that I have lost 52 pounds, but it will not be a problem at all after I lose the last 50

berlynnwall · February 2015

I thought of another thing - when I've been working really hard and lost a good amount of weight, but I still look fat. That is freaking discouraging. And no one outside knows you lost weight so they still give you that look out in public, like your a lazy idiot with no self control.

jennifershoo · February 2015

Being asked when you're gonna have your baby.... No, not pregnant, just fat

katherine_startrek_fan · February 2015

totaldetermination wrote: »

PeachyFit wrote: »

Missing that feeling of comfort in my own skin that comes with being thin and fit. Instead, feeling awkward and unhealthy.

and also feeling that I had no right to talk about health related topics because I was fat so...well, I can't actually explain why, but I just felt I couldn't.

This definitely is annoying! I remember being invited to a party at my highest weight and when the guys and gals separated, the girls all huddled in two groups (4 per group), from which I was physically excluded, and started making fun of fat people and their attempts to eat healthy. I hated feeling excluded and couldn't bring myself into the conversations because no one wants to hear the morbidly obese girl defend fat people. I was worried that I would be laughed at.

My other peeve is going shopping with my MIL and being convinced to buy certain items. Then afterward, someone would inevitably take pics of me, and I'd realize how in looked like I was basically wearing large bags that just made me look even more like a big blob.

The worst was when she talked me down from a bikini to a tankini that layers out. It's supposed to hide any bumps, but it actually excentuates the top part of my B shaped tummy and doesn't show my well defined waist at all. I've dropped four clothing sizes since the start of my journey, but it actually makes me look bigger than my starting weight.

dramaqueen45 · February 2015

Reading these posts just makes me wonder about all of the self-hatred surrounded by being overweight. I mean, even from very young ages, if you watch, you can see how children don't like the "fat kid" and don't want to be around him/her. Why is this? Do they learn it from their parents? The media? Or is it something ingrained in us as human beings that we are not attracted to people who are overweight or obese? I just wonder. I can understand all of the things people hate such as not being healthy, getting out of breath, joints hurting, not fitting into small chairs on planes, etc and not fitting into the clothes you like. But all the self-loathing makes me kind of sad. Can we just love ourselves no matter what our size and lose weight and get healthy because of all of the other reasons? Can we give ourselves a great big hug and squeeze- hug your belly fat!! Love yourself, no matter what size you are, because you know what? You are SO much more than your appearance. You are a complex, multidimensional person with their own talents, interests, abilities and brilliant minds (talking to all the self-haters out there). And yes, you can be healthy even if considered "overweight' by the charts the doctors have, just like you can be unhealthy and be thin. When someone is too thin and bordering on unhealthily thin- we tell them- "honey you need help" or "please see a counselor." If someone is unhealthily overweight- we (as a society) look at them with disgust and assume so many things about their personalities that are just not true a lot of times- like they must be lazy, selfish and gluttonous, etc. Accept yourself; love yourself; lose to feel better and lower health risks and exercise to feel great and have fun. That's all- end of my soap box rant.

Always_Smiling_D · February 2015

Ufffff... I despise the word FAT and I have never been obese myself. I tip just enough above healthy to be overweight.

RogueinSF · February 2015

I don't think this holds true for everyone as I have seen overweight people who carry themselves very well, but I am not one of them and I missed moving with grace and agility. I gained a lot of weight (50 lbs) while looking for work after grad school (so depressed), and when I was initially trying to lose it I became so frustrated by the restrictions on my body. I was in great shape prior and put on the weight super fast, so I really noticed the limitations in my ability to do yoga postures, get up from sitting on the floor, walk up hills...also, my feet started to hurt when I woke up in the morning after I hiked. I thought that was from age, but it turns out it was likely from the extra weight as my feet feel fine now (lost 30 lbs so far). Of course the frosting will be wearing the clothes that have been untouched in my closet for the past two and half years, but even the clothes can't beat the feeling of having my body function well and my pain free feet.

totaldetermination · February 2015

dramaqueen45 wrote: »

I mean, even from very young ages, if you watch, you can see how children don't like the "fat kid" and don't want to be around him/her. Why is this? Do they learn it from their parents? The media? Or is it something ingrained in us as human beings that we are not attracted to people who are overweight or obese?

Perhaps you have seen things that I haven't. But from what I've seen, children generally don't 'see' much of the physical side of people. color / size / disability - unless its something really new to them that they might find scary. Children generally exclude 'weaker' children because they can 'feel' the child's vulnerability / insecurity.

If children are excluding a 'fat kid', my guess is that that child hasn't got the same 'strength' or 'confidence' that other children have. I don't know why this would be - perhaps they are aware of their own size, or perhaps they are growing up in an environment that doesn't foster their confidence, or perhaps they are weaker because they are just not as active as other children.

But from what I've seen, children - I mean very young children - don't tend to see things like that.

bright_arrow · February 2015

Bringing clothes into a dressing room only to hand them all back to the attendant because none of them fit.

Shopping with someone and when they ask what size you wear and you tell them, grudgingly and quietly and quickly, and they pull it off the rack and look at you in disbelief: "Really? This looks awfully big!" Extremely mortifying. It's like "Yeah, well, I *am* that big, it's my body believe me I know!"

Wanting to dress up for date night/special occasion and knowing it will take multiple trips to find that one dress because you can't walk into most stores and buy straight off the rack.

Getting dressed/undressed in front of your significant other and hoping they're not staring you down and seeing the fat rolls/cellulite on your thighs/stretch marks on your stomach you're trying vainly to suck in knowing it makes the marks stand out even more.

Restaurant booths being small and your boobs hanging over the edge of the table.

sfbaumgarten · February 2015

My "worst thing" was my health. I was sick and miserable

Mostly digestive issues, but my weight also impacted my joints and aggravated previous injuries.

onebookwonder · February 2015

" ...then I will think about finding someone who deserves me, instead of just settling for someone who will have me"

AMEN!!!

TheEats · February 2015

I hate that I am constantly aware that I am obese and that I see the world, the people around me, in the light of this looming fact.

dbkyser · February 2015

Great topic, when read with a possitive attitude can be inspiring.

cdcruizer05 · February 2015

for me not being as healthy as i should be. Being limited to clothes, to certain activities. I don't like how i don't feel sexy or wanted by women. I miss being able to ride roller coaster lol.

VeryKatie · February 2015

For me it was digestive pain.

DannoDog · February 2015

Not being able to walk very far without my back, hips and legs aching. I hate having to buy my clothes at Big and Tall stores.

tekkiechikk · February 2015

The worst thing about being fat? Summer!

Dread, dread, dread it. I'm one of those woman who refuses to show her arms or legs because I know how unattractive they are. So summer comes with picnics and barbecues and I'm the only one not in shorts and a tank top.

The list is endless, but summer is a personal hell for me.

unlikelyathlete · February 2015

At my heaviest, I think it was being sleepy all the time. I would go home to sleep during lunch. I also hated having to lunge forward a few times to reach down and tie my shoes. I managed to avoid pictures for the most part, but I have a select few that I saved just so I would remember-being the "floating face" in a group picture by hiding my body behind other people, a bridesmaid picture of me. I looked like someone had simply inflated me like a Macy's parade balloon. I was not comfortable. And, yeah, I'm one of those that didn't wear it well, either.

0somuchbetter0 · February 2015

I haven't read the thread yet, but at my fattest, I couldn't paint my toenails. Humiliating but true.

ETA: there were many awful things about being hugely obese...I just thought of one of the many things I couldn't do comfortably. At work, just passing through...

9Rounder · February 2015

Lower back pain and knee pain from carrying around extra weight. Not being able to go into my own closet and wear everything in there. I wear about 10 percent of my clothes because the other 90 percent don't fit me.

tekkiechikk · February 2015

dramaqueen45 wrote: »

When someone is too thin and bordering on unhealthily thin- we tell them- "honey you need help" or "please see a counselor." If someone is unhealthily overweight- we (as a society) look at them with disgust and assume so many things about their personalities that are just not true a lot of times- like they must be lazy, selfish and gluttonous, etc.

Isn't that the truth?! Never once has my husband, family, mother, or friends ever warned me about my weight creeping back up (I've done this so many times in my life I've lost count... the most recent was when I lost 60 pounds in 2010 but have since gained it all back, plus a few). Sometimes it makes me angry because if I was engaged in any other self-destructive behavior, my loving family and friends would have said something about it. But when it comes to weight gain, society, as a whole, is dead silent (pun intended).

reeyonce · February 2015

Everything. There are absolutely 0 positives to being fat. I can't wait to be a non-fat person

rungirl1973 · February 2015

Pictures, but not only the pictures. Knowing that I was walking around looking like that all the time (yeah, I'm vain) was horrible for me. I avoided a lot of activities with my friends.

Going to a place that was crowded and trying to follow a friend through the crowd, only I needed a lot more space to pass than any of my friends and would sometimes hit chairs with my hind quarters.

I never stopped running, but I was embarrassed to be seen at races because I got so big and so slow.

marinabreeze · February 2015

dramaqueen45 wrote: »

Reading these posts just makes me wonder about all of the self-hatred surrounded by being overweight. I mean, even from very young ages, if you watch, you can see how children don't like the "fat kid" and don't want to be around him/her. Why is this? Do they learn it from their parents? The media? Or is it something ingrained in us as human beings that we are not attracted to people who are overweight or obese? I just wonder. I can understand all of the things people hate such as not being healthy, getting out of breath, joints hurting, not fitting into small chairs on planes, etc and not fitting into the clothes you like. But all the self-loathing makes me kind of sad. Can we just love ourselves no matter what our size and lose weight and get healthy because of all of the other reasons? Can we give ourselves a great big hug and squeeze- hug your belly fat!! Love yourself, no matter what size you are, because you know what? You are SO much more than your appearance. You are a complex, multidimensional person with their own talents, interests, abilities and brilliant minds (talking to all the self-haters out there). And yes, you can be healthy even if considered "overweight' by the charts the doctors have, just like you can be unhealthy and be thin. When someone is too thin and bordering on unhealthily thin- we tell them- "honey you need help" or "please see a counselor." If someone is unhealthily overweight- we (as a society) look at them with disgust and assume so many things about their personalities that are just not true a lot of times- like they must be lazy, selfish and gluttonous, etc. Accept yourself; love yourself; lose to feel better and lower health risks and exercise to feel great and have fun. That's all- end of my soap box rant.

^^^So this!

To the OP - I think two things for me have been the hardest:

1. Concern over health - I don't have health complications from obesity, but my dad did (type 2 diabetes) and passed away at 57. My mom developed diabetes in the past year or so, and she's in her 60s, and she has some knee and back issues that affect her mobility. My birth mother is in her mid-60s, and has type-two diabetes and heart problems and is currently on oxygen (a combination of lifelong smoking and the obesity). I want no parts of that when I'm older and I want to make the effort now to at least try to avoid it while I'm still youngish (30s) and healthy.

2. Assumptions about the obese. People seem to think that being obese means that other character flaws must coexist when they really don't for me. I'm nowhere near lazy, I have been on my own since I turned 18, I have a job, I have an advanced degree, I am happily married to a man who loves me and isn't afraid to be seen in public with me, and I surely do not hate myself. TBH being fat doesn't mean I have to hate myself - it seems to be too many people internalizing societal prejudice against the obese. The reason why I am making the changes I'm making is because I love myself now - I loved myself at 334, I love myself at 308, and I sure hope I love myself when I make it to goal. But back to #1 - I just want to make sure my quality of life is high for a long, long time.

leeswain23 · February 2015

Same for me I can't let anyone take a picture of me anymore not even with my children. It's so depressing :-( I don't like to go out either because I feel people will look at me. I used to be slim and active and gradually gained a lot of weight over 5 years and I'm now ashamed of
Myself I'm also new here and I'm determined to get back to how I was years ago good luck to you xx

SuggaD · February 2015

The worst thing about being fat for me was being fat. I was the really skinny kid and never thought I'd ever be a fat adult. Gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant and did nothing about it for far too long. I will never go back there. I agree with others that said there is nothing good about being fat. Achy joints, lesser clothing options, etc. etc. etc. It really does limit life.