People that try to deter you
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No one at work has any idea that I'm "dieting." It was observed that I seemed to have lost weight. No one asked and I didn't offer how I did it. My co-workers never see me refuse sweet treats. I have a cookie, or whatever, and simply adjust for it later in the day or the next day. No big deal.
No one can make you eat what you don't want to, but publicly refusing food (especially in the manner some posters suggest) just calls attention to yourself and your eating habits.0 -
lthames0810 wrote: »No one at work has any idea that I'm "dieting." It was observed that I seemed to have lost weight. No one asked and I didn't offer how I did it. My co-workers never see me refuse sweet treats. I have a cookie, or whatever, and simply adjust for it later in the day or the next day. No big deal.
No one can make you eat what you don't want to, but publicly refusing food (especially in the manner some posters suggest) just calls attention to yourself and your eating habits.
Would you allow someone to order dinner for you, even if you said you didn't want/like their suggestion?
Now, let me say, if I want (blank), I'll have it, adjust calories or take the hit. I'm not by any means implying any food is "bad" because we all know it's not.
If I draw attention to myself with what I eat, so be it, I suppose. I'm not drawing attention to myself by being the overweight girl, shoving tons of food in my mouth and breathing heavily, so that's a plus
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Another example would be someone who is very active and healthy telling an overweight diabetic that it "makes them sad" to see that person eating a huge slice of cake that they shouldn't have.
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This should never be said aloud. Every person's weight-loss journey is their journey alone. When I was about 12, my Grandma gave my siblings and cousins ice-cream cones and didn't give me one because I was "chubby and didn't need it". I was so hurt and it still stings 24 years later. She was right that I didn't need it, but wrong to think she had anything to do with my journey. I have just started the journey now because I am ready to do it for me....not for anyone else. And I will refrain from EVER commenting on anyone's weight problem, EVER!...and I hope people will do the same with me. Do tell me how good I look or that you are proud of my accomplishments, but that is it. I have a friend who lost 78 pounds and her "friends" are constantly telling her she is too thin, she looks sick. I just want to punch them in the throat...if anyone ever says it to me, I WILL!0 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »lthames0810 wrote: »No one at work has any idea that I'm "dieting." It was observed that I seemed to have lost weight. No one asked and I didn't offer how I did it. My co-workers never see me refuse sweet treats. I have a cookie, or whatever, and simply adjust for it later in the day or the next day. No big deal.
No one can make you eat what you don't want to, but publicly refusing food (especially in the manner some posters suggest) just calls attention to yourself and your eating habits.
Would you allow someone to order dinner for you, even if you said you didn't want/like their suggestion?
Now, let me say, if I want (blank), I'll have it, adjust calories or take the hit. I'm not by any means implying any food is "bad" because we all know it's not.
If I draw attention to myself with what I eat, so be it, I suppose. I'm not drawing attention to myself by being the overweight girl, shoving tons of food in my mouth and breathing heavily, so that's a plus
I'm trying to imagine a scenario in which someone is ordering me a dinner I didn't like. If you mean someone ordering pizza or barbeque for the staff, then yes, I have accepted it. It did happen once that I had just eaten my lunch when the pizza showed up unexpectedly and I didn't have any that time. I didn't have to explicitly refuse it, though.
If you're ok with others' attention to your eating preferences, as you say "so be it" but there's going to be a trade-off of hearing uninvited comments about it, as you have found out.
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How do your co-workers know about weighing/measuring food?
In my case, the fridge is in the cafeteria and it is way too much a PITA to drag a whole Costco sized tub of cottage cheese back to my desk to measure out a 1/2c of it. I could individually portion it out at home, but I am trying to put more inefficiency into my day - it forces me to walk around more at work. So yeah, they do see it assuming they are even paying attention. I doubt they are or if they do, care.
I get offered a lot of food at work, usually once a day or every other day. Politely accept, eat a bite or two, then throw it out after they leave. A co-worker saw me do this once. I explained that I liked it, I just wasn't that hungry. Eating when I wasn't hungry was part of the reason I got so fat in the first place. They said they couldn't imagine just having one or two bites and just throwing it out. They didn't see themselves having that kind of self-control. *shrug* But that was the end of that. No hard feelings or whatever.
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kamakazeekim wrote: »My husband, parents and sister have started telling me I'm too skinny and asking when I'm going to stop losing weight. I'm 130 pounds and only 5'3. I've lost about 130 pounds in the past 18 months and I am feeling sooo good about it but they're really starting to annoy me when they make comments. I want to hit my sister when she calls me a skinny b****.
Congrats on the loss!! 130 pounds is amazing!!! Oh, and I hate being called a b****, I don't care if they're joking so I understand
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IAlatariel75 wrote: »
Love this.0 -
I like to use a phrase I learned from Dave Ramsey. He's a financial adviser but this fits. He says to "live like no one else now so later you can live like no one else". I've seen normal. I see normal every day. Who wants to be normal anymore? Not me.0
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A smiling "thanks, MOM" can go a long way when someone is trying to force feed you.0
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AmigaMaria001 wrote: »The only person who does this to me is my Mother-in-law, yet she is the first person to gossip about overweight people.
This is how I handled her the last time she INSISTED that I'd be rude if I didn't have a piece of her cake. So I said, "okay I'll have a piece" and she placed a huge piece of cake on my plate, whereupon I promptly smashed and stirred it until it was disgusting and unrecognisable.
She was was livid and let me know that I had just wasted a perfectly good piece of cake - until I reminded her that SHE wasted the cake since I'd told her three times I didn't want it.
Now she never insists that I take any food AND every time she starts describing people as "FAT" I get up and leave the room.
When she asked my husband why I always did that, he told her I was sick of her "FAT" comments about people... she hasn't called anyone fat within earshot of me since then either.
BTW - she is no skinny-mini so has no room to talk about anyone's weight.
Love your cake smashing move. Brilliant.0 -
I guess I am lucky, but all I ever have to say is, "no thank you."0
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CrabNebula wrote: »How do your co-workers know about weighing/measuring food?
I had mentioned earlier that there are times I have ran to the store before I go in in the mornings, and on those days, I throw the food scale in my work bag.ladybuggnorris wrote: »
Another example would be someone who is very active and healthy telling an overweight diabetic that it "makes them sad" to see that person eating a huge slice of cake that they shouldn't have.
This should never be said aloud. Every person's weight-loss journey is their journey alone. When I was about 12, my Grandma gave my siblings and cousins ice-cream cones and didn't give me one because I was "chubby and didn't need it". I was so hurt and it still stings 24 years later. She was right that I didn't need it, but wrong to think she had anything to do with my journey. I have just started the journey now because I am ready to do it for me....not for anyone else. And I will refrain from EVER commenting on anyone's weight problem, EVER!...and I hope people will do the same with me. Do tell me how good I look or that you are proud of my accomplishments, but that is it. I have a friend who lost 78 pounds and her "friends" are constantly telling her she is too thin, she looks sick. I just want to punch them in the throat...if anyone ever says it to me, I WILL!
Trust me, I would never say anything about someone's weight, be it they're "too big" or "too little". I have jokingly said to friends "girl, you're gonna blow away, go eat a sammich!" But this is my way of showing them I've seen a change they were working for. Now, to call someone a Skinny B, or a fat A. Never. No no no.
That's sad about the ice cream. If an adult feels a child should have food their ignored more closely, don't allow others to have the fun stuff. Give everyone healthy snacks.
lol, lemme tell yall about my day. The coworker (this is mainly one person), asked if I wanted to go to the staff room and get lunch. I said "nah, I brought mine today". She comes back into the office, and comes in my CLOSED door and peers over my shoulder at my food. I am then told "that isn't enough to eat, have one of my fish sandwiches!" I let her know that my meal(approx 300 cal) is enough for me. I am then given instructions on how to eat healthy, and told to do like athletes and "carb load" and eat a bunch of pasta for energy.
I was nice, I really was. I told her that I do appreciate her concern and her suggestions, but I am eating the way I choose to, but I'll be sure to come to her should I need any advice.
This is the kind of negativity I had originally posted about. I suppose I should not really say "deter" as she wants to give me advice. But it's not advice I want nor need, as I am in healthcare for a long time, and also seeing a nutritionist to boot.
Sometimes, I wish I could leave for lunch, lol. Moms just down the road from my office, I'd go there!0 -
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I think I'm too intimidating for people to try to force feed, because I've seriously never had this problem.0
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I kind of have the opposite problem. Someone in my family keeps insisting I don't eat "bad food".
I wonder how they'd feel if they saw the bucket of cookies I keep in my room.0 -
The only person that does this to me is my grandma. She seriously will not stfu about the cake0
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hollyrayburn wrote: »paperpudding wrote: »Sometimes there will be those people trying to convince you to eat, just start describing what you are trying to achieve, show them your MFP diary if you must. (Log the food before you eat it and tell them how it will affect you)
I think this would be the worst approach.
People are not interested in descriptions of what you are trying to achieve, certainly not in the details of it and they do not want to see your MFP diary or hear about how it affects you.
This will just add fuel to the fire and annoy people, therefore they react more to rile you. The sort of thing people were saying upthread happens to over zealous preachy diet (oops, lifestyle change) followers.
Better to keep your diet ( oops, life style change) to yourself and politely decline or pretend to take some without bringing attention to yourself, that way people lose interest and they stop reacting.
And I'm sure you would be one of the coworkers that makes a comment about food being weighed, or commenting about it, despite the fact what I do has not been mentioned to you other than "don't want it, can't have it today, thanks." No, I don't make an announcement when I am logging my food, despite what these apparent flies on the wall of my office may think.
And just as it's none of my business that an overweight person may be eating their 8th donut or something, and I don't make a comment, it's no ones business that I am sitting at my desk, eating a meal I prepared from home. If there's an issue with what I do with my body, then perhaps they should just move on when I decline something, instead of peeking over my shoulder and inquiring about my food.
Some people are truly ignorant to assume that I am saying "heyyyyy, I'm eating healthy, look at my calorie goals, check out these macros! ME ME ME!"
I'm going to put in a transfer to their office, where no one ever creeps into other peoples business, we all get along, we hug trees, and unicorns fly around and crap rainbows out of their buttholes.
You seem very defensive to me.
No I would not be pushy toward other people's food - quick friendly banter yes, as they do to me but nobody I know takes that stuff seriously.
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- my post that you quoted and seem upset about was not even directed at you but at the post making the suggestions, you know, the one I quoted.0 -
paperpudding wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »paperpudding wrote: »Sometimes there will be those people trying to convince you to eat, just start describing what you are trying to achieve, show them your MFP diary if you must. (Log the food before you eat it and tell them how it will affect you)
I think this would be the worst approach.
People are not interested in descriptions of what you are trying to achieve, certainly not in the details of it and they do not want to see your MFP diary or hear about how it affects you.
This will just add fuel to the fire and annoy people, therefore they react more to rile you. The sort of thing people were saying upthread happens to over zealous preachy diet (oops, lifestyle change) followers.
Better to keep your diet ( oops, life style change) to yourself and politely decline or pretend to take some without bringing attention to yourself, that way people lose interest and they stop reacting.
And I'm sure you would be one of the coworkers that makes a comment about food being weighed, or commenting about it, despite the fact what I do has not been mentioned to you other than "don't want it, can't have it today, thanks." No, I don't make an announcement when I am logging my food, despite what these apparent flies on the wall of my office may think.
And just as it's none of my business that an overweight person may be eating their 8th donut or something, and I don't make a comment, it's no ones business that I am sitting at my desk, eating a meal I prepared from home. If there's an issue with what I do with my body, then perhaps they should just move on when I decline something, instead of peeking over my shoulder and inquiring about my food.
Some people are truly ignorant to assume that I am saying "heyyyyy, I'm eating healthy, look at my calorie goals, check out these macros! ME ME ME!"
I'm going to put in a transfer to their office, where no one ever creeps into other peoples business, we all get along, we hug trees, and unicorns fly around and crap rainbows out of their buttholes.
You seem very defensive to me.
No I would not be pushy toward other people's food - quick friendly banter yes, as they do to me but nobody I know takes that stuff seriously.
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- my post that you quoted and seem upset about was not even directed at you but at the post making the suggestions, you know, the one I quoted.
I do understand what you're saying. But when people are disrespectful about what you choose to do with your body by saying eat more, this won't kill you, etc, or offer unsolicited and incorrect advice (advice that is incorrect for your goals anyway), it gets rather annoying. As with yesterday, I was respectful when my lunch was critiqued, then I was given advice I did not want nor would work for me. I think the most annoying part for me was her coming into my closed office JUST to see what I had to eat. Me personally? I look at a closed door as do not enter, or at least knock, lol. I am a bit in the defensive side with this one coworker, as she has for the past two weeks or so made my life her business. Again, sorry for becoming defensive on here, but it's really getting to me. It's nice that this coworker brought a big pot of cheese dip and chips, but if I don't want it, I don't want it, be it because of my plan, or I'm just not hungry. To hear I have hurt her feelings because I won't eat something I didn't know she planned to bring in is ridiculous, ya know?0 -
a co-worker who was going to thank me by giving me some delicious candy from his desk, I said oh thanks thats nice. but I'm really not eating sweets now. well then he tried again, and i said no… so he said "aww you're no fun." well that made me mad. so i told him, no i am not eating that stuff. so that was very annoying that he told me I'm no fun because i did not want his candy. sheesh!!!0
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..are not worth having in your life. Kick them to the kurb and walk away laughing!0
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If someone gives me something that I don't want to eat I just take it and bring it home for my boyfriend or son0
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I miss out on a lot of the office politics by not going to lunch with the rest of the office every day. At first it really bothered me ,missing out on brownie points : ( ,but then I reminded myself that I don't want that 1000 calorie lunch if I can help from it. At first they took it personal, now they just ok when I say "no thanks"0
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I really don't understand why people have such a hard time just saying, "no thanks"...it's really easy.0
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Wow. That's what you got out of the OP?beemerphile1 wrote: »I have no troubles like that. Maybe it is you throwing your diet in their faces.0 -
I've gotten pretty good at just declining, but if the temptation is turned up I'll accept a small portion (or whatever they force onto my plate) and enjoy the heck out of just a couple of bites before putting it in the garbage. Then I retune the rest of the days meal plan or reduce tomorrow.
My new favorite reason for declining is "I just brushed my teeth" and everyone just goes "ahhh ok!" and drops it.0 -
You haven't met my grandma! lol she will not shut up about it. I have to literally ignore her and pretend I can't hear.. Or I just lie and say "yes I had some it was great thank you"cwolfman13 wrote: »I really don't understand why people have such a hard time just saying, "no thanks"...it's really easy.
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I live in the south. Food here is how we show out love. You say no thank you then they get their feelings hurt. I gave in last night to eating a high calorie meal with friends. I paid for it later and my friends got to see how eating like that makes me sick now.0
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beemerphile1 wrote: »beemerphile1 wrote: »I have no troubles like that. Maybe it is you throwing your diet in their faces.
Seriously? I get flagged for this?
I have no troubles with people trying to force food on me and cannot comprehend it happening. I simply suggested that maybe the OP is creating the atmosphere.
Maybe the problem is in your delivery. When I read your first post my first reaction was "this dude is a D bag." Sorry but it was kind of rude the way you stated it. Maybe state that you wanted to give a different perspective of the situation. When you are typing not speaking things can come off the wrong way.
Just my opinion. Trying to be helpful not attacking.0
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