Online Dating
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DavesGoal185 wrote: »
Haha...women do the very same thing.findinglssjess wrote: »Just had another thought about this topic...the guys who judge you by your weight and or looks yet they have no room to judge or speak.
Agree on this one big time!!
Absolutely true. There is no gender bias in this tendency to be hypercritically judgey whilst wishing to not be negatively judged oneself in online dating (or in any other facet of life, really). Humans are really quite gifted at this.0 -
Is it really that hard to hit on women IRL?
I do it a lot for practice just going to the mall to buy something......
Guys it's called conversation, humor and confidence, and you'd be surprised which girls are actually receptive. I am not saying they'll all sleep with you, but if you have some humor to you, most girls will be pretty nice even if it's obvious they're making up some story about having a BF. Just laugh it off and air quote "BF" in your next question....
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Women do the samething. Actually, if you are not interested, or have some flags popping up, it is probably the best course of action. Just read previous post right here! I just figure they arent interested, and move on...no big deal.heathbilly wrote: »lol some damn , these are some horrible stories.
Yeah, but I have heard some good ones. I only know 1 person that has had good luck, but you never know until you go out there and try.
I just get frustrated at the amount of people I message and then don't get a response back. I actually spend time reading the profiles and message with something related to that...for example, found a guy a few days ago, good looking, seems nice, we "match" and he spent two weeks in Italy last year, posted pictures, talked about how he loved to travel, etc. I lived in Italy for four years, so I messaged him about what a beautiful country it was, how I liked some of his pics from the trip (I swear, it wasn't creepy), asked what country he wanted to travel to next, etc. Not one comment back.
Frustrating.
Very frustrating. I rarely message guys but when I do, this always seems to happen (even when they've "matched" me). It's not really like they're out of my league or anything either. I understand that guys have their own preferences but you would think that the odds of them answering would be pretty good since 90% of the guys I message already matched me.
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My biggest WTF was the revelation that there is a "wine country" in Missouri!I_see_skinny_Me15 wrote: »Oh and his ideal lady would be self sufficient, educated, able to support herself, and independent yet looking for a long term commitment.
Let's indulge in some analysis shall we?
Ideal Lady: He's idealistic (not), wants a "lady". After all, a lot of women prefer to think of themselves as such.
He wants 'em self sufficient: He's appealing to the ego of the Me Generation and the Neo Me Generation. The average gal who wants to believe she doesn't need a man, like that annoying clinging type she never wants to be pegged as.
Educated: YEAH. He wants to weed out the tipped hash slingers at the local diner and the professional toilet scrubbers at the Motel 8. They might have too much folksy common sense and foil his plans.
He wants her able to support herself: But of course. He doesn't want to have to do anything like that. Plus his wife might pick up that supportive paper trail (credit card receipts) and get suspicious.
He likes 'em Independent: That way when he doesn't call for a few weeks and doesn't answer his on-the-sly down low cell phone, she'll be too busy celebrating her independence to notice.
And the best one of all: looking for a long term commitment Whatever that means. Sounds good though. And always gets the ladies building castles in the sky.
ETA: This is strictly an analysis of him I_see_skinny. Not you or your interactions with him.
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My biggest WTF was the revelation that there is a "wine country" in Missouri!
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LOL. look up Hermann Missouri. Many of the vines originated in Italy, and in fact, repopulated Italy's vintners after devastation.
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I_see_skinny_Me15 wrote: »My biggest WTF was the revelation that there is a "wine country" in Missouri!
LOL. look up Hermann Missouri. Many of the vines originated in Italy, and in fact, repopulated Italy's vintners after devastation.
[/quote]
LOL- Actually, right now, Probably much better than here. I live in Califonia about a half hour from Napa(wine county). The drought here is killing everything.0 -
I once had a guy show up in really dirty, tattered clothes. Not a dealbreaker in and of itself, but as he got closer I realized he also smelled like he hadn't showered in well over a week. I was a bit afraid the giant dandruff flakes in his oily, unkempt hair would fall into my beer. Luckily they didn't venture further than his shoulders and upper arms and there was no breeze in the outside beer garden to blow them astray. Our chat centered around his possible upcoming bankruptcy filing and how irresistible women found him, including his recent ex-wife (but no worries - it's just a sex thing now, the relationship was over). Hmmm, how about you just get back with her, then, cause this is a whole lotta of mess I don’t need…
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Never!0
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Anyway, back to the online dating nightmares....
I have had some "interesting" ones as well, but none that compare to the creepiness of many of the pervious posters. Most involve dramatic differences between them and their profiles, of just wierd obsessions with things.
My best first date tuned out to be the worst psycho of them all.0 -
I went on this one date with this weird guy at a cute coffee shop. He was just so inappropriate. He made jokes about my boobs, having a baby, and me being a prostitute. Btw I was wearing a very conservative outfit and didn't show ANY cleavage at all, and my shirt wasn't even tight.
I'm really really awkward and shy when it comes to dating, I'm getting better though. But seriously that made it SOOOOOO awkward, like c'mon dude we haven't even kissed yet and you're talking about my boobs and sex. Wtf, save that kind of talk for when we actually get there jeez...
I actually told him before the date that I was really shy and awkward when it comes to dating, so he should have kept it light and funny, nothing inappropriate. That was pretty rude of him.
And btw, we didn't get there lol. I didn't even kiss him. So yeah sorry dude.
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Dangit, I was too forward, please forgive me!
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Jesus, im pretty inappropriate sometimes, but that sounds ridiculous....just move on, there will be a lot of guys who want to take you to coffee; you sound sweet.0
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I met a mad woman I thought I was 5'11 she was the same hight she took one look at me and was like no your not. Then we went for a scary drive. She was driving I was praying to make it home alive. I also tried Russian dating site all I found was con artists0
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Let's see, where to begin? There was once this guy at work that was really creepy and scary. If there were a "most likely to go postal" award, he would have won it. I wasn't his boss, but I was above him at work (I could tell him what to do, just didn't have the power to fire him). Anyway, back when I had a POF profile, I would check out who was looking at my profile. The day that I saw that he had repeatedly looked at my profile was the day I decided to delete my profile on there.0
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Question: how many of you have trouble figuring out what to share when? One of the tough things for me in early communication is trying to avoid revealing too much too early while also not being purposely dodgy. It's a struggle to answer some of those ice-breaker questions early on ("Tell me about your family" and "Why haven't you been married?") when the honest answer can be quite complicated (and potentially TMI).0
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Markdjones83 wrote: »Dangit, I was too forward, please forgive me!
Lol it's all good.
Jesus, im pretty inappropriate sometimes, but that sounds ridiculous....just move on, there will be a lot of guys who want to take you to coffee; you sound sweet.
Yeah I'm actually pretty inappropriate too, but there's a time and a place for that *kitten*, and it's definitely not on a first date lol. I already have moved on...and yeah hopefully, where are they hiding though? Lmao![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
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Question: how many of you have trouble figuring out what to share when? One of the tough things for me in early communication is trying to avoid revealing too much too early while also not being purposely dodgy. It's a struggle to answer some of those ice-breaker questions early on ("Tell me about your family" and "Why haven't you been married?") when the honest answer can be quite complicated (and potentially TMI).
That is something that I find difficult as well.
But one of my online dates story: I had told the man before meeting up that I was unfamiliar with the area he had picked to meet up and to be patient if I got lost because I have a horrible sense of direction. The first words our of his mouth "why are you late" five minutes and most of that was walking up the car garage and then every other question was basically when were we going back to his palce....0 -
My story isn't nearly as bad as a lot of stories on here but I figured I'd share anyway lol.
This guy messaged me on POF about a year ago. We messaged on the site, started texting, and had a couple phone conversations before finally deciding to meet up the day before Valentine's day last year. During our phone conversations, I had already gotten the impression that he was pretty cocky and possibly a bit of an *kitten* but I figured I'd give him a chance.
He was a bit shorter than expected but other than that, he looked like his pics. As expected, he was pretty arrogant during dinner but the date was going well. We started talking about work (he was a computer programmer and I worked in online marketing). I made a comment about how we were working on optimizing our websites for mobile. He proceeded to laugh in my face, like I had said the most idiotic thing in the history of the world and then he replied, "it's responsive, not mobile optimized". I didn't mind being corrected but his tone of voice was really condescending and arrogant. I explained that "mobile optimized" was the phrasing the tech guys at work had used but that I wasn't a tech person so I didn't really know. He proceeded to bash them, call them a bunch of idiots, and continued his haughty laugh.
I was very angry at that point after trying unsuccessfully to explain how rude he was being so I told him that it would be best if I left. I asked him if he wanted me to contribute and he said "no". I was going to be polite and wait until the check was taken care of but he basically just laughed and said I might as well just leave right away.
I had never had such an awful date before. I was so angry that a couple "angry tears" started flowing. As I was about to start my car, he called and genuinely apologized. After talking for a few minutes, I decided to give him another chance so I met him in front of the restaurant. The rest of the night went much better and he let down his guard of arrogance. We ended up getting pretty tipsy at a couple wine bars, going for a nice stroll, and kissing/making out lol. We dated on/off for 2 months and now he's one of my good friends.0 -
Just found out my latest prospec that I've been talking with on phone/texting for last 2 weeks up and decided she doesn't want to date anyone with kids when I decided to finally meet her.
Waste of time!0 -
Have heard way too many bad experiences!!0
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Funny that this guy would come up in convo with kiddo and I tonight..but had another horror story, from a couple years ago. He was just a nightmare in all sorts of ways...long story short, to summarize the madness...on our 3rd date after ranting that theres no pleasing women, how is ex wife left him because hes too controlling...he then told me not to talk during dinner because my food will get cold. When dropping me off at my apt building he asked me to move in with him. (Dates 1 & 2 were also strange, but I was in a "dont reject right away, give a guy a chance" mode...Date #3 was the final straw.)
We only talked once after that...a heated argument where I decided I had enough and told him not to contact me again. He started sending me youtube videos of love songs saying it made him think of me, how much he loves me and he cries for me and what he lost..or angry emails that I was throwing everything away and being stupid. I never responded to any of them..but the videos kept coming, at least a couple a week for several months, every so often a long email begging me to talk to him and see him again or telling me off.
Not only was he a jerk, but he was obsessive, and Im sure if I ever agreed to see him again, youd be watching this story on Lifetime Movie or some forensics show, cause the guy was beyond unstable.0 -
All of them, it usually starts with arriving and a male has yet again over estimated their height!
One of my big pet peeves since I'm pretty tall as it is. Now, I just assume that they're 2 inches shorter than they listed and I'm usually right lol! Though the last guy I dated had a height listed that was about 1-2 inches shorter than his actual height.
If women can knock 3-5 years off their age and 50lbs off their weight, then nobody can be surprised if men eventually start telling the same lies about their physical attributes. Your assumption is probably accurate as I've noticed that most women are 3 years older and about 20lbs heavier than they claim in their profiles.
Internet liars everywhere!
PS - I AM 5ft 8ins. That's undateably short and no amount of embellishment is going to change that!!!
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wolfsbayne wrote: »heathbilly wrote: »lol some damn , these are some horrible stories.
Yeah, but I have heard some good ones. I only know 1 person that has had good luck, but you never know until you go out there and try.
I just get frustrated at the amount of people I message and then don't get a response back. I actually spend time reading the profiles and message with something related to that...for example, found a guy a few days ago, good looking, seems nice, we "match" and he spent two weeks in Italy last year, posted pictures, talked about how he loved to travel, etc. I lived in Italy for four years, so I messaged him about what a beautiful country it was, how I liked some of his pics from the trip (I swear, it wasn't creepy), asked what country he wanted to travel to next, etc. Not one comment back.
Frustrating.
Very frustrating. I rarely message guys but when I do, this always seems to happen (even when they've "matched" me). It's not really like they're out of my league or anything either. I understand that guys have their own preferences but you would think that the odds of them answering would be pretty good since 90% of the guys I message already matched me.
I'm guessing it's equally frustrating for the guys who don't receive messages back.
It ends up being pretty soul-destroying! Nobody likes to be blanked just for breaking the ice in a friendly manner.
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Funny that this guy would come up in convo with kiddo and I tonight..but had another horror story, from a couple years ago. He was just a nightmare in all sorts of ways...long story short, to summarize the madness...on our 3rd date after ranting that theres no pleasing women, how is ex wife left him because hes too controlling...he then told me not to talk during dinner because my food will get cold. When dropping me off at my apt building he asked me to move in with him. (Dates 1 & 2 were also strange, but I was in a "dont reject right away, give a guy a chance" mode...Date #3 was the final straw.)
Not only was he a jerk, but he was obsessive, and Im sure if I ever agreed to see him again, youd be watching this story on Lifetime Movie or some forensics show, cause the guy was beyond unstable.
I would love to find out whatever happened to this nutjob0 -
All of them, it usually starts with arriving and a male has yet again over estimated their height!
One of my big pet peeves since I'm pretty tall as it is. Now, I just assume that they're 2 inches shorter than they listed and I'm usually right lol! Though the last guy I dated had a height listed that was about 1-2 inches shorter than his actual height.
If women can knock 3-5 years off their age and 50lbs off their weight, then nobody can be surprised if men eventually start telling the same lies about their physical attributes. Your assumption is probably accurate as I've noticed that most women are 3 years older and about 20lbs heavier than they claim in their profiles.
Internet liars everywhere!
PS - I AM 5ft 8ins. That's undateably short and no amount of embellishment is going to change that!!!
lol try being 5'4. I'd give anythign to be 5'8 haha. If I can get ladies you should have no problem at 5'8 0 -
Can I just say.....it sucks.
Worst date with someone you met online...GO!!!
Some of these are pretty bad and ive had bad ones but the worst was a guy i picked up for our first date and he was drinking already. He continued to drink majers mark straight when we got to the restaurant/bar. My friends were playing in the band that night. I was very put off and i let him know that nothing was happening between us. I told him this because he kept leering at me. Then he sat down and texted me even though i was right beside him. He said, "it's all about the oral". Now, that did it. I called a cab to come get him and had one of my sizable friends help me get him in it. He called two hrs later and chastised me for being rude! I told him he made me feel unsafe and he's lucky i didn't just bail. At least i got him home. Anyway that's the worst. Lol.0 -
All of them, it usually starts with arriving and a male has yet again over estimated their height!
One of my big pet peeves since I'm pretty tall as it is. Now, I just assume that they're 2 inches shorter than they listed and I'm usually right lol! Though the last guy I dated had a height listed that was about 1-2 inches shorter than his actual height.
If women can knock 3-5 years off their age and 50lbs off their weight, then nobody can be surprised if men eventually start telling the same lies about their physical attributes. Your assumption is probably accurate as I've noticed that most women are 3 years older and about 20lbs heavier than they claim in their profiles.
Internet liars everywhere!
PS - I AM 5ft 8ins. That's undateably short and no amount of embellishment is going to change that!!!
5'8" isn't undateable in my book. I'm not sure why people lie about physical attributes since a meeting will be in order.
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wolfsbayne wrote: »All of them, it usually starts with arriving and a male has yet again over estimated their height!
One of my big pet peeves since I'm pretty tall as it is. Now, I just assume that they're 2 inches shorter than they listed and I'm usually right lol! Though the last guy I dated had a height listed that was about 1-2 inches shorter than his actual height.
If women can knock 3-5 years off their age and 50lbs off their weight, then nobody can be surprised if men eventually start telling the same lies about their physical attributes. Your assumption is probably accurate as I've noticed that most women are 3 years older and about 20lbs heavier than they claim in their profiles.
Internet liars everywhere!
PS - I AM 5ft 8ins. That's undateably short and no amount of embellishment is going to change that!!!
5'8" isn't undateable in my book. I'm not sure why people lie about physical attributes since a meeting will be in order.
Agreed, I'm short, and I put it. Do I get filtered out by most searches yeah, but what am i gonna do put on some 70's platforms when I meet up?0 -
It's nice to hear this from both sides of the keyboard (thanks Belle8312 for launching this discussion).
I talked with quite a few and met 3 ppl and quit - I figured that I needed some serious re-evaluation of my motivation, if that was what I would find. The specifics for my encounters are not too horrid. It may be best to say that the ladies I met probably exist in every society, and I'd be more comfortable without any of them being incorporated in my immediate social circle.
One thing I did find to be nearly axiomatic in the whole thing was that everyone seems to overstate their position in some fashion. Those people that indicated that they were sexy, talented, up-standing citizens were something less, and those who confessed to being a total wreck and burden on society and such, were significantly better than they portrayed themselves to be. This appears to be typical human nature (to me at least): if you are completely impressed with yourself as a person, you likely have lower standards than someone that is trying to improve themselves.
(for the record here, I'm 188cm, fat & bald. Only one of those represents a personal fault that I can correct; I am.)0 -
standenvernet wrote: »One thing I did find to be nearly axiomatic in the whole thing was that everyone seems to overstate their position in some fashion. Those people that indicated that they were sexy, talented, up-standing citizens were something less
Wait... ~~69sexXxygurl69~~ isn't sexy? Damn 0
This discussion has been closed.
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