"Can't you just be normal?"
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
That's just absolutely ridiculous. The boyfriend needs to seek professional help because he eats out a lot and doesn't cook? Who are you to decide if her boyfriend and his friends she "waste" time eating out? You are making assumptions about a relationship that you have no clue about and you know how that's making you look.
Yeah? Learn to boil a dang egg or something? If one of the two is abnormal, damn straight it's the person who eats no meals at home, NOT the person eating out twice a month. I may be forgetting my own posts but I don't believe I've said anything about wasting time... However if you're missing out on time with your friend / girlfriend because she doesn't want to eat excessively calorie dense foods all the time, maybe find out what *she* likes to do and go out and explore those interests, not just get frustrated that she won't eat out with you three meals a day
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
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Why?
The OP doesn't have to date someone and be friends with people who have different lifestyles than her and make her feel guilty about it. I ditched those people a long time ago and have never been happier. She also admitted to having an unhealthy relationship with food....which means she should seek professional help.0 -
I don't see any reason why a fit, healthy adult shouldn't eat out all the time if they can afford it. I would do it too, I hate cooking, but because I have a weight problem I have had to make adjustments. A few years ago I too ate my main meal at a restaurant every day and only had simple snacks at home. But I was much more active back then and as my lifestyle has changed, sadly I can no longer enjoy not having to cook. Not every meal eaten outside the person's own home has to be a 1500 calorie + meal from McDonalds. The OP does not mention her boyfriend having any trouble with his weight so I seriously do not understand how the topic has suddenly shifted to lambasting him for choosing the easier option.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
So maybe you should stop making assumptions because it's not relevant or helpful.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
You know what they say about ASSumptions.0 -
Why?
The OP doesn't have to date someone and be friends with people who have different lifestyles than her and make her feel guilty about it. She also admitted to having an unhealthy relationship with food....which means she should seek professional help.
So please tell me why you think her boyfriend and friends are being unsupportive and should be ditched? She admits she has a problem with food. I would imagine (having had an eating disorder of my own) that she is embellishing some of the language. Maybe....just maybe....her friends are concerned about her obsession?
And, you know what? My friends and I don't have the same lifestyle and we don't agree all the time. I certainly wouldn't ditch them. Because, you know, FRIENDS.0 -
Let's not be ridiculous. OP is 19. Eating out every meal is NOT abnormal when you are college age, nor is it particularly odd or ridiculous when you are working and single/of appropriate means.
OP - have you considered going out to eat with your bf places where you can look at the calorie count beforehand? I realize the calorie estimates aren't exact but perhaps it might give you the chance to eat together since it sounds like a big thing for him. Or perhaps you can cook for him so you can have a meal together.
I does sound like it would behoove you to discuss your food based anxiety with someone. while your decision to count calories probably isn't highly unusual, I would worry more about the feelings you have about what you eat. Good luck!0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs0 -
marissafit06 wrote: »Let's not be ridiculous. OP is 19. Eating out every meal is NOT abnormal when you are college age, nor is it particularly odd or ridiculous when you are working and single/of appropriate means.
OP - have you considered going out to eat with your bf places where you can look at the calorie count beforehand? I realize the calorie estimates aren't exact but perhaps it might give you the chance to eat together since it sounds like a big thing for him. Or perhaps you can cook for him so you can have a meal together.
I does sound like it would behoove you to discuss your food based anxiety with someone. while your decision to count calories probably isn't highly unusual, I would worry more about the feelings you have about what you eat. Good luck!
Get out of here with all that logic.
Don't you know that they should just break up?!0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
That's just absolutely ridiculous. The boyfriend needs to seek professional help because he eats out a lot and doesn't cook? Who are you to decide if her boyfriend and his friends she "waste" time eating out? You are making assumptions about a relationship that you have no clue about and you know how that's making you look.
Yeah? Learn to boil a dang egg or something? If one of the two is abnormal, damn straight it's the person who eats no meals at home, NOT the person eating out twice a month. I may be forgetting my own posts but I don't believe I've said anything about wasting time... However if you're missing out on time with your friend / girlfriend because she doesn't want to eat excessively calorie dense foods all the time, maybe find out what *she* likes to do and go out and explore those interests, not just get frustrated that she won't eat out with you three meals a day
What makes it abnormal to eat out so much? Because you say so? Who told you that you make life's decisions on what is normal and what isn't? I eat at least 2 of my meals every day outside of my home, that's normal for me so who are you to say it's abnormal.
Also, who cares what they are ordering? What difference does it make?
Ya know what kid? I've used the word "IF" twice. As is typical for our conversations, we're going nowhere. Sorry I bothered. Have a nice day
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
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I get it. I can't judge a portion size. I suck at estimating calories. I have a scientific way of thinking and working the numbers works for me. I don't like the not knowing what I'm eating at restaurants. I've always overeaten so I don't know what healthy normal eating is. Measuring and weighing everything and making my own food works for me and I turn down opportunities to eat out most of the time. Heck, my food is better anyway. I would make an exception for Gourmet, but all we've got is mom and pop, meat and potatoes places and fast food. And it's not normal to eat out that much. That would stress me out too.0
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Perception...
In the end, do what makes you happy. Perhaps a little compulsive but guess what, its not entirely wrong nor it is entirely right, its YOUR choice.
My 2 cents: lift like crazy, you already have a handle on nutrition and tracking so you already know. But this kind of dedication is rare so don't be so quick to avoid it, rather use it and harness it. Perhaps we are telling the next Miss Olympia something today etc. You can do anything you want to do, I'm assuming your healthy and intake is on point with nutrional requirements and nutrional guidelines etc.
Remember, haters gonna hate, potaters gonna potate. And they "hate us because they ain't us"
Best of luck, find like goals and those around you with same vision and one day you'll look back and be happy that you have such a firm base of knowledge and of all things that people could possibly control, you already have a firm grasp of this.
Sidenote: go out, have fun. stick to what YOU want. If those around you cannot grasp this without you explaining, find a new group and re-evaluate
#LEGENDSOFAESTHETICS
#shreddedwithalife0 -
I haven't read all the other posts ( just some of them). I think you all tread on dangerous ground when you try to diagnos this young lady with an Ed or ocd. I, too, think her boyfriend is the strange one for eating out 3 meals a day. Maybe he has ocd? And an unhealthy relationship with food? Who knows? Not enough information for any of us to decide. My daughter thought I was abnormal yesterday when I measured my taco meat. Does that mean I am?
Some people who don't count calories at all might think the whole lot of us are ocd or Ed since we count and log everything. What age is considered too young to count calories by the way? My dd who is 17 just started MFP yesterday. I will also admit that I, at times, avoid going out to eat because I don't want to be tempted to eat badly or that I might inadvertently go over my calories because I don't know how much to estimate. I ate at a chain restaurant over the weekend- I logged into MFP and pulled up the nutrional info before I ordered. Does that mean I am ocd? I do feel a little anxious if I think I may be in a social situation in which there will be lots of yummy food that I am unsure how to log.
Bottom line, is I don't really see how this is causing her any great unhappiness. She said she still goes out and has fun. She's not hiding away at home 24/7 due to calories. Just because her boyfriend doesn't like it does not in any way mean she has a problem. Maybe he's the problem? I can have some anxiety about things or might even use the term "freaks out" about things but it really is not an indicator that I need to see a professional. If we are honest we all get freaked out sometimes or about certain things.
As far as counting calories early, well that is a little outside the norm. However, as someone else pointed out- if this had been my norm years ago I wouldn't be overweight now- which for all of us that are overweight- don't we have an unhealthy relationship with food? I mean, duh. Or we wouldn't be here.
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better yet.
Lean/ reverse diet and bring carbs up to 300-500 a day and bam. So much flexibility and so much intake that all they can do is admire!
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Why?
The OP doesn't have to date someone and be friends with people who have different lifestyles than her and make her feel guilty about it. She also admitted to having an unhealthy relationship with food....which means she should seek professional help.
So please tell me why you think her boyfriend and friends are being unsupportive and should be ditched? She admits she has a problem with food. I would imagine (having had an eating disorder of my own) that she is embellishing some of the language. Maybe....just maybe....her friends are concerned about her obsession?
And, you know what? My friends and I don't have the same lifestyle and we don't agree all the time. I certainly wouldn't ditch them. Because, you know, FRIENDS.
If they cared about her they would talk to her about a possible ED, as I have done over the years with multiple friends. Instead her boyfriend got mad over breakfast (per her original post) and asked why she isn't "normal"....seriously?
I too have friends who live different lifestyles. But I used to have a lot who disrespected my lifestyle choices and/or would try to drag me down. They got kicked to the curb.0 -
davidrod001 wrote: »better yet.
Lean/ reverse diet and bring carbs up to 300-500 a day and bam. So much flexibility and so much intake that all they can do is admire!
:huh: No.0 -
I haven't read all the other posts ( just some of them). I think you all tread on dangerous ground when you try to diagnos this young lady with an Ed or ocd. I, too, think her boyfriend is the strange one for eating out 3 meals a day. Maybe he has ocd? And an unhealthy relationship with food? Who knows? Not enough information for any of us to decide. My daughter thought I was abnormal yesterday when I measured my taco meat. Does that mean I am?
Some people who don't count calories at all might think the whole lot of us are ocd or Ed since we count and log everything. What age is considered too young to count calories by the way? My dd who is 17 just started MFP yesterday. I will also admit that I, at times, avoid going out to eat because I don't want to be tempted to eat badly or that I might inadvertently go over my calories because I don't know how much to estimate. I ate at a chain restaurant over the weekend- I logged into MFP and pulled up the nutrional info before I ordered. Does that mean I am ocd? I do feel a little anxious if I think I may be in a social situation in which there will be lots of yummy food that I am unsure how to log.
Bottom line, is I don't really see how this is causing her any great unhappiness. She said she still goes out and has fun. She's not hiding away at home 24/7 due to calories. Just because her boyfriend doesn't like it does not in any way mean she has a problem. Maybe he's the problem? I can have some anxiety about things or might even use the term "freaks out" about things but it really is not an indicator that I need to see a professional. If we are honest we all get freaked out sometimes or about certain things.
As far as counting calories early, well that is a little outside the norm. However, as someone else pointed out- if this had been my norm years ago I wouldn't be overweight now- which for all of us that are overweight- don't we have an unhealthy relationship with food? I mean, duh. Or we wouldn't be here.
17 is too young for this site. :noway:0
This discussion has been closed.
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