"Can't you just be normal?"
Replies
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
That's why tequila shots were invented.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
Because it's the three meal a day eating out boyfriend that called her abnormal and is creating doubts in her mind, IMO. If you feel useful advice has been given, then it's been available for her to read. It's a public discussion forum - what else can I explain here? Don't see where I'm forcing you to be an audience to my comedic routines
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
I feel like at this point, even if you set out to post more ridiculous things than this, you would fail.
The assumptions and suppositions you've posted are literally astounding to me.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
I feel like at this point, even if you set out to post more ridiculous things than this, you would fail.
The assumptions and suppositions you've posted are literally astounding to me.
Uh... Thank you?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
Because it's the three meal a day eating out boyfriend that called her abnormal and is creating doubts in her mind, IMO. If you feel useful advice has been given, then it's been available for her to read. It's a public discussion forum - what else can I explain here? Don't see where I'm forcing you to be an audience to my comedic routines
She already has doubts. She admits she has an unhealthy relationship with food.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
That's what I'm wondering. If everything's fine, the OP has no issues, she IS odd to everyone she knows as nobody "in her circle" ever counts calories and therefore it makes sense that her boyfriend said what he did, she stated that she did eat without counting calories and she didn't gain any weight, her boyfriend is the one with the problem - but she should neither speak to him about it nor consider leaving him nor should she consider whether she is restricting her eating out as the amount of times she eats out is normal, she said she feels she has issues with food but, well, when potential explanations of those issues are brought up they must all be overreactions and definitely have nothing to do with her, then what exactly was the question here...?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
Because it's the three meal a day eating out boyfriend that called her abnormal and is creating doubts in her mind, IMO. If you feel useful advice has been given, then it's been available for her to read. It's a public discussion forum - what else can I explain here? Don't see where I'm forcing you to be an audience to my comedic routines
Did you not read the OP's posts or did you not understand the content of those posts? One of those is obviously in play here.0 -
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
I like you. 0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
Because it's the three meal a day eating out boyfriend that called her abnormal and is creating doubts in her mind, IMO. If you feel useful advice has been given, then it's been available for her to read. It's a public discussion forum - what else can I explain here? Don't see where I'm forcing you to be an audience to my comedic routines
She already has doubts. She admits she has an unhealthy relationship with food.
Let me be clear when I say she is a comedian. I am laughing at her comments because from her first post she's choosing to put blame on the wrong person which I find hilarious. So keep talking so I can keep being entertained.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
Because it's the three meal a day eating out boyfriend that called her abnormal and is creating doubts in her mind, IMO. If you feel useful advice has been given, then it's been available for her to read. It's a public discussion forum - what else can I explain here? Don't see where I'm forcing you to be an audience to my comedic routines
She already has doubts. She admits she has an unhealthy relationship with food.
Let me be clear when I say she is a comedian. I am laughing at her comments because from her first post she's choosing to put blame on the wrong person which I find hilarious. So keep talking so I can keep being entertained.
Something has to be wrong for blame to come into play. The majority feel something's wrong with the OP's eating habits. I don't. Bwahahhahaha omg so funny
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yopeeps025 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Why is this being talked about? What does OP have to gain from talking about her boyfriend eating out. That's not the issue or even close to the issue.
Because it's the three meal a day eating out boyfriend that called her abnormal and is creating doubts in her mind, IMO. If you feel useful advice has been given, then it's been available for her to read. It's a public discussion forum - what else can I explain here? Don't see where I'm forcing you to be an audience to my comedic routines
She already has doubts. She admits she has an unhealthy relationship with food.
Let me be clear when I say she is a comedian. I am laughing at her comments because from her first post she's choosing to put blame on the wrong person which I find hilarious. So keep talking so I can keep being entertained.
Oh, I'm with ya.
But, hey, it's easier to blame the boyfriend (who we do not know) and her friends (who we do not know) instead of addressing what we do know (she has an unhealthy relationship with food).0 -
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.0 -
ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right? 0 -
Oh my, this thread.
OP, your relationship with food, in that you need to know EXACTLY what you're eating or you won't eat it isn't healthy.
While I applaud you for wanting to keep an eye on what you eat, a healthier relationship with food would look more like someone who doesn't shy from going to restaurants and simply makes wiser choices there like broiled meats and salads with dressing served on the side and eats just a reasonable portion of what they are served. There's a middle ground, a healthy middle ground, between knowing the EXACT number of calories you're eating and just having a caloric blow out because you don't know them.
I agree with all the other posters in this thread who believe you need help.0 -
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right?
What is funny is how we can see that you just type things out without actually thinking them through. That's maybe the 3rd time already you make a statement and within the next post you have to retract it because you realize it lacked substance. You can joke all you want about the comedy thing all you want but the humor comes from reading your posts in general. Just full of assumptions and little logic.
Uh... Thanks again?
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ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right?
The problem is that she didn't really ask if she was crazy for wanting to eat out only twice a month. Re-read her original post and add two of her sentences together. Re-read WHY she doesn't like to eat out. She needs to know EXACT calorie counts and gets anxiety unless she does. You're missing that big point. Her having that anxiety is disordered behavior.
Her mother having her calorie count from the age of 12 set her up for a disordered relationship with food. Now its bearing fruit. She needs to sort it out.
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JaneiR36, it seems to me you are under the impression that every single person out there has issues with their weight and thus should keep an eye on what they're eating. Hence your comments about eating out a lot and multiple slices of pizza (who has only a few slices, I eat the whole damn thing!) being bad. Of course, I am being an assumer (see what I did there ) and I don't mean this as a personal attack or anything, it's just that I think it's a bit misguided to want to dictate everyone's eating habits - and to me it seems like that's what you're trying to do by painting eating out/not cooking for yourself as a bad thing.
If a person does not have a weight issue (and there still are a few of those around, despite the growing trend of obesity), I see absolutely no reason why they can't enjoy themselves or make their lives easier by not cooking. Restaurant food or even fast food is not the devil.
Sure, I can see your point about creating good eating habits early because it is much more difficult to get yourself on track later on, but again, there are plenty of people who are active enough or lucky enough (fast metabolism) to never feel the need to worry about what they're putting in their bodies. So again, eating out is not the problem.
Whereas feeling anxiety over what you're eating is certainly very alarming. I imagine it must be very difficult to live like that, and that is the sole reason I (and I imagine many others) suggested that the OP should speak to a professional. Life is supposed to be fun after all, not about constantly worrying such mundane things as eating.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right?
The problem is that she didn't really ask if she was crazy for wanting to eat out only twice a month. Re-read her original post and add two of her sentences together. Re-read WHY she doesn't like to eat out. She needs to know EXACT calorie counts and gets anxiety unless she does. You're missing that big point. Her having that anxiety is disordered behavior.
Her mother having her calorie count from the age of 12 set her up for a disordered relationship with food. Now its bearing fruit. She needs to sort it out.
Good points. Answer me this, though. How is that different from when we advice people to potentially pick restaurants with published nutrition information online and even preselect their food prior to leaving, just to address... feeling a certain way about their numbers due to not knowing how many calories they'll be eating?
Paragraph 2: if we started educating kids on calories and what contributes to early obesity that so many of them have to deal with, what do you think that might look like?
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mamapeach910 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right?
The problem is that she didn't really ask if she was crazy for wanting to eat out only twice a month. Re-read her original post and add two of her sentences together. Re-read WHY she doesn't like to eat out. She needs to know EXACT calorie counts and gets anxiety unless she does. You're missing that big point. Her having that anxiety is disordered behavior.
Her mother having her calorie count from the age of 12 set her up for a disordered relationship with food. Now its bearing fruit. She needs to sort it out.
Good points. Answer me this, though. How is that different from when we advice people to potentially pick restaurants with published nutrition information online and even preselect their food prior to leaving, just to address... feeling a certain way about their numbers due to not knowing how many calories they'll be eating?
Paragraph 2: if we started educating kids on calories and what contributes to early obesity that so many of them have to deal with, what do you think that might look like?
SHE ALREADY ADMITS THAT SHE HAS AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD
I don't know why this fact is so hard to comprehend.0 -
awesomewastaken wrote: »JaneiR36, it seems to me you are under the impression that every single person out there has issues with their weight and thus should keep an eye on what they're eating. Hence your comments about eating out a lot and multiple slices of pizza (who has only a few slices, I eat the whole damn thing!) being bad. Of course, I am being an assumer (see what I did there ) and I don't mean this as a personal attack or anything, it's just that I think it's a bit misguided to want to dictate everyone's eating habits - and to me it seems like that's what you're trying to do by painting eating out/not cooking for yourself as a bad thing.
If a person does not have a weight issue (and there still are a few of those around, despite the growing trend of obesity), I see absolutely no reason why they can't enjoy themselves or make their lives easier by not cooking. Restaurant food or even fast food is not the devil.
Sure, I can see your point about creating good eating habits early because it is much more difficult to get yourself on track later on, but again, there are plenty of people who are active enough or lucky enough (fast metabolism) to never feel the need to worry about what they're putting in their bodies. So again, eating out is not the problem.
Whereas feeling anxiety over what you're eating is certainly very alarming. I imagine it must be very difficult to live like that, and that is the sole reason I (and I imagine many others) suggested that the OP should speak to a professional. Life is supposed to be fun after all, not about constantly worrying such mundane things as eating.
I do love to relax and eat a good meal. Agreed everyone should get to as well (kinda like the OP is doing twice a month, isn't that enough to be considered enjoyment?) I'm saying a tiny person probably cannot eat the same amounts of food as their possibly larger companion and not gain weight
As I've said, the advice to see someone has been posted a billion times over. Don't worry, the OP has seen it and will apply it if necessary. Pretty hard to miss!
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mamapeach910 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right?
The problem is that she didn't really ask if she was crazy for wanting to eat out only twice a month. Re-read her original post and add two of her sentences together. Re-read WHY she doesn't like to eat out. She needs to know EXACT calorie counts and gets anxiety unless she does. You're missing that big point. Her having that anxiety is disordered behavior.
Her mother having her calorie count from the age of 12 set her up for a disordered relationship with food. Now its bearing fruit. She needs to sort it out.
Good points. Answer me this, though. How is that different from when we advice people to potentially pick restaurants with published nutrition information online and even preselect their food prior to leaving, just to address... feeling a certain way about their numbers due to not knowing how many calories they'll be eating?
Paragraph 2: if we started educating kids on calories and what contributes to early obesity that so many of them have to deal with, what do you think that might look like?
I'm not going to address your points directly because you keep thinking about things as an overweight person. OP is not overweight. You need to shift your paradigm and see things from her perspective.
When I was thinner and maintaining my weight, when I went out to eat, I simply ordered what I knew to be less calorie-dense menu items like broiled or baked fish and a salad with dressing on the side, or for breakfast, 2 poached eggs and toast. I also didn't eat the full portion of fish because it was always large.
The OP has been "dieting" since she was 12. She should have a rough idea of correct portion sizes and be able to order herself a sensible meal in a restaurant if she doesn't want to blow a lot of calories when she goes out to eat.
As for kids and nutrition? That's for parents and schools to do the educating. Not restaurants. I'm not sure why you're even asking that unless you think all kids will need to learn to count calories to stem the obesity epidemic and then... seriously? I don't think kids need to count calories. I believe in raising children to follow their hunger signals (no clean plate club), know portion sizes, and to have a diet rich in fruits and vegetables and I believe they need activity every day.
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The boyfriend isn't the one making the forum post on MFP. She even said he was fit. You should have caught that since you read everything she wrote in context.TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
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This content has been removed.
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mamapeach910 wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »ceoverturf wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
Please explain how eating out frequently = stuffing their faces and their waist lines. Do you know these people? Are you friends with them?
I'll freely admit that is an assumption. Restaurant foods do tend to be fairly calorie dense. Perhaps the OP can give some examples of what they order
What difference would that make? AFAIK, this thread was started by and is about OP and her eating habits, not her BFs
Because calorie counts in foods eaten by a taller, more muscular male who remains trim could easily make a small female put on a lot of weight. Yeah she could select the low calorie options (which is a very helpful suggestion given earlier), but sometimes you just want the dang double cheese burger, and as she explained in her OP a lot of times you can make the same food at home for way less calories
It really has nothing to do with that though. The first 2 years of my time in college, the only thing I cooked was hot chocolate and popcorn. I lost the freshman 15 (and I was already a normal weight) because I just walked around campus a lot and ate in moderation. These people are in college. Male or female, absolutely nothing wrong with eating out regularly. Size doesn't matter. It's not unusual for people to maintain a healthy physique and eat out constantly.
I didn't gain weight until a couple years after college due to inactivity and stuffing myself silly when I felt sad...didn't even have to eat out to get there.
It's really irrelevant to the issues the OP is personally having. She needs to solve them. It has nothing to do with how her friends and boyfriend eat.
We can't know that unless we actually know what they tend to order. Only the OP can tell us that - that is, if we choose to believe her when/if she does. Would it still be irrelevant if whenever they go out, they tend to have a lot of calorie dense drinks**, multiple slices of pizza, etc etc?
No, there's nothing wrong with eating meals out. One more time: IF he's gonna throw stones about somebody being abnormal, the guy eating ALL his meals outside and cooking nothing needs to check himself before the girl cooking most meals at home and eating outside twice a month. A "remove the log in your eye first" type thing. Or glass house issue, if you prefer.
**actually thinking back to college I remember a pamphlet explaining that saving calories and avoiding weight gain was a great reason to the mostly underage targets to quit [binge] drinking...
Nothing wrong with multiple slices of pizza and drinks with calories
No, we have no idea what her friends eat. Neither does she since she doesn't go out eating with them every time. I, like others, am just pointing out that there's nothing wrong with eating out daily. But again, it's irrelevant to her issues.
It's her personal relationship with food. And unfortunately, the anxiety she's describing isn't normal to feel. She could get another boyfriend who only eats out 4 times a week and she'd still have the anxiety with her own personal eating habits.
I'm mostly just going by the fact that a lot of times when people open their diaries wondering why they aren't losing weight, lots of outings to restaurants can be a red flag. A) the food as listed tends to have a lot of calories (not a problem if you can fit it! Although ***ASSumption alert*** Smaller people generally can fit less). B ) despite what is listed, the calories in the food can be much more.
I understand how you feel about her stated anxiety. I just disagree and feel like the answer to her asking herself, "am I crazy for only wanting to eat out twice a month" is probably, "no, not really. If anything your boyfriend probably eats a few too many meals outside"
I know we have no idea what they eat. Can we gain some knowledge on what they typically order based on her outings with them? Although if you're saying she hasn't eaten with them 100% of the time, so she doesn't know, yeah, you got me there. I'm not a hardcore statistician but I'm generally of the belief that you can gain relevant knowledge based on an adequate sampling. Crazy, ridiculous, and comedically hilarious, right?
The problem is that she didn't really ask if she was crazy for wanting to eat out only twice a month. Re-read her original post and add two of her sentences together. Re-read WHY she doesn't like to eat out. She needs to know EXACT calorie counts and gets anxiety unless she does. You're missing that big point. Her having that anxiety is disordered behavior.
Her mother having her calorie count from the age of 12 set her up for a disordered relationship with food. Now its bearing fruit. She needs to sort it out.
Good points. Answer me this, though. How is that different from when we advice people to potentially pick restaurants with published nutrition information online and even preselect their food prior to leaving, just to address... feeling a certain way about their numbers due to not knowing how many calories they'll be eating?
Paragraph 2: if we started educating kids on calories and what contributes to early obesity that so many of them have to deal with, what do you think that might look like?
I'm not going to address your points directly because you keep thinking about things as an overweight person. OP is not overweight. You need to shift your paradigm and see things from her perspective.
When I was thinner and maintaining my weight, when I went out to eat, I simply ordered what I knew to be less calorie-dense menu items like broiled or baked fish and a salad with dressing on the side, or for breakfast, 2 poached eggs and toast. I also didn't eat the full portion of fish because it was always large.
The OP has been "dieting" since she was 12. She should have a rough idea of correct portion sizes and be able to order herself a sensible meal in a restaurant if she doesn't want to blow a lot of calories when she goes out to eat.
As for kids and nutrition? That's for parents and schools to do the educating. Not restaurants. I'm not sure why you're even asking that unless you think all kids will need to learn to count calories to stem the obesity epidemic and then... seriously? I don't think kids need to count calories. I believe in raising children to follow their hunger signals (no clean plate club), know portion sizes, and to have a diet rich in fruits and vegetables and I believe they need activity every day.
Thanks for the last paragraph, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on that subject
I liked the rest of your post, too. As for the paradigm shift, I think about it like when people ask a thin person why they exercise or count calories. Well how do you think they stay that way? That's how they've chosen to maintain their size / activity level is by continuing to crank out the exercise and monitor their intake...
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Paragraph 2: if we started educating kids on calories and what contributes to early obesity that so many of them have to deal with, what do you think that might look like?
They might look like anything. Who's to say? Although I can tell you what I, who, as a child, was "started early" on my "eduction about calories," look like today. 195 lbs. at 5'1". (Of course I'm only one person, but you did put forth the question and I'm the only person I know from "real life" who was "taught" in this way, so there you have it.)
On the other hand, I can tell you what one child who has NEVER counted a single calorie, received healthful choices including plenty of veggies and didn't have to have "dessert" at every meal and a massive school-issued lunch that looks like a supersized McDonald's meal with a milk on the side to prove its nutritional worth, nor a "snack" for every - and I mean every single - event, even if it's a one-hour trip to and from the grocery store as parents today seem to feel kids "need," and who actually played - really played - physically, outside, might look like. He might look like my 28-year-old son, whom I raised in exactly the above way (and I was very thin too at the time, go figure), who is 5'9" and 145 lbs and in peak health, with no insane exercise regimens...nor ever counting a calorie.
And who loves his occasional several slices of pizza or giant burger with fries.
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