"Can't you just be normal?"
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davidrod001 wrote: »Perception...
In the end, do what makes you happy. Perhaps a little compulsive but guess what, its not entirely wrong nor it is entirely right, its YOUR choice.
My 2 cents: lift like crazy, you already have a handle on nutrition and tracking so you already know. But this kind of dedication is rare so don't be so quick to avoid it, rather use it and harness it. Perhaps we are telling the next Miss Olympia something today etc. You can do anything you want to do, I'm assuming your healthy and intake is on point with nutrional requirements and nutrional guidelines etc.
Remember, haters gonna hate, potaters gonna potate. And they "hate us because they ain't us"
Best of luck, find like goals and those around you with same vision and one day you'll look back and be happy that you have such a firm base of knowledge and of all things that people could possibly control, you already have a firm grasp of this.
Sidenote: go out, have fun. stick to what YOU want. If those around you cannot grasp this without you explaining, find a new group and re-evaluate
#LEGENDSOFAESTHETICS
#shreddedwithalife
Yep, if my friends show some concern or have questions about my workout or diet regime, they ain't a friend of mine no more!
Down with the haters. They are obviously jealous and want to be just like me. Woo hoo!
You do realize there is no hashtag functionality on the site, right?0 -
I'm just gonna throw this in here, I eat out multiple times a week. Sometimes really nice sit down places, sometimes chains, sometimes small burger joints and such, but mostly Wawa (lol). I have my go tos for each one, the foods that I -generally- know the nutritional and macro nutrient content of (I think there's really no way of knowing for sure). From there, it's all a matter of making it fit into the calories, which usually is not too hard.
That's not to say I won't try new foods. Even at new restaurants, if I'm not sure about an item, usually I can get some kind of soup or salad that won't be too calorie dense. And as far as it goes, soup and salad are pretty basic. Sometimes I'll have that as a meal, sometimes a BLT, sometimes fries and mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers that I'm sharing. Bottom line is there will always be lowish calorie alternatives when going out to eat, it's just a matter of ordering them. And that doesn't mean to avoid the other higher calorie enjoyable foods at the restaurants either.
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davidrod001 wrote: »Perception...
In the end, do what makes you happy. Perhaps a little compulsive but guess what, its not entirely wrong nor it is entirely right, its YOUR choice.
My 2 cents: lift like crazy, you already have a handle on nutrition and tracking so you already know. But this kind of dedication is rare so don't be so quick to avoid it, rather use it and harness it. Perhaps we are telling the next Miss Olympia something today etc. You can do anything you want to do, I'm assuming your healthy and intake is on point with nutrional requirements and nutrional guidelines etc.
Remember, haters gonna hate, potaters gonna potate. And they "hate us because they ain't us"
Best of luck, find like goals and those around you with same vision and one day you'll look back and be happy that you have such a firm base of knowledge and of all things that people could possibly control, you already have a firm grasp of this.
Sidenote: go out, have fun. stick to what YOU want. If those around you cannot grasp this without you explaining, find a new group and re-evaluate #LEGENDSOFAESTHETICS
#shreddedwithalife
Yep, if my friends show some concern or have questions about my workout or diet regime, they ain't a friend of mine no more!
Down with the haters. They are obviously jealous and want to be just like me. Woo hoo!
You do realize there is no hashtag functionality on the site, right?
We also realize that means you can't type it. Ever!
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I am LoLing at all these people telling her to seek professional help for her "unhealthy relationship with food". Don't you all see the irony of it? I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food- that's how I got overweight. Are you all really thinking you don't?0
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Why?
The OP doesn't have to date someone and be friends with people who have different lifestyles than her and make her feel guilty about it. She also admitted to having an unhealthy relationship with food....which means she should seek professional help.
So please tell me why you think her boyfriend and friends are being unsupportive and should be ditched? She admits she has a problem with food. I would imagine (having had an eating disorder of my own) that she is embellishing some of the language. Maybe....just maybe....her friends are concerned about her obsession?
And, you know what? My friends and I don't have the same lifestyle and we don't agree all the time. I certainly wouldn't ditch them. Because, you know, FRIENDS.
If they cared about her they would talk to her about a possible ED, as I have done over the years with multiple friends. Instead her boyfriend got mad over breakfast (per her original post) and asked why she isn't "normal"....seriously?
I too have friends who live different lifestyles. But I used to have a lot who disrespected my lifestyle choices and/or would try to drag me down. They got kicked to the curb.
Did you ever think that maybe he had a periodic moment of frustration? Or that maybe she is embellishing his reaction? I've had an eating disorder and thank God....THANK GOD...my friends didn't give up on me. Did they get frustrated sometimes? Yes. Did they have an outburst sometimes? Yes. Did I deserve it? Yes.
Maybe they just care. Just maybe.
I have a friend who is amazing. She's a runner and doesn't understand why I lift like I do. I don't understand why she's a vegetarian. We have some debates. I love her to death though and I would never ditch her because she questioned me about my eating or lifting habits. It's called being an adult and learning how to deal with differences.0 -
Sometimes, when an issue has been ongoing for a while, frustrations boil over and people react more harshly than they had intended. Especially if the person in question is a loved one who is behaving in a worrying manner (in the other person's opinion).
Why?
The OP doesn't have to date someone and be friends with people who have different lifestyles than her and make her feel guilty about it. She also admitted to having an unhealthy relationship with food....which means she should seek professional help.
So please tell me why you think her boyfriend and friends are being unsupportive and should be ditched? She admits she has a problem with food. I would imagine (having had an eating disorder of my own) that she is embellishing some of the language. Maybe....just maybe....her friends are concerned about her obsession?
And, you know what? My friends and I don't have the same lifestyle and we don't agree all the time. I certainly wouldn't ditch them. Because, you know, FRIENDS.
If they cared about her they would talk to her about a possible ED, as I have done over the years with multiple friends. Instead her boyfriend got mad over breakfast (per her original post) and asked why she isn't "normal"....seriously?
I too have friends who live different lifestyles. But I used to have a lot who disrespected my lifestyle choices and/or would try to drag me down. They got kicked to the curb.
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I am LoLing at all these people telling her to seek professional help for her "unhealthy relationship with food". Don't you all see the irony of it? I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food- that's how I got overweight. Are you all really thinking you don't?
Not here to lose weight. So, try again.
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davidrod001 wrote: »Perception...
In the end, do what makes you happy. Perhaps a little compulsive but guess what, its not entirely wrong nor it is entirely right, its YOUR choice.
My 2 cents: lift like crazy, you already have a handle on nutrition and tracking so you already know. But this kind of dedication is rare so don't be so quick to avoid it, rather use it and harness it. Perhaps we are telling the next Miss Olympia something today etc. You can do anything you want to do, I'm assuming your healthy and intake is on point with nutrional requirements and nutrional guidelines etc.
Remember, haters gonna hate, potaters gonna potate. And they "hate us because they ain't us"
Best of luck, find like goals and those around you with same vision and one day you'll look back and be happy that you have such a firm base of knowledge and of all things that people could possibly control, you already have a firm grasp of this.
Sidenote: go out, have fun. stick to what YOU want. If those around you cannot grasp this without you explaining, find a new group and re-evaluate #LEGENDSOFAESTHETICS
#shreddedwithalife
Yep, if my friends show some concern or have questions about my workout or diet regime, they ain't a friend of mine no more!
Down with the haters. They are obviously jealous and want to be just like me. Woo hoo!
You do realize there is no hashtag functionality on the site, right?
We also realize that means you can't type it. Ever!
Wut?0 -
I think many people have reason to seek professional help for an unhealthy relationship with food. Overweight, underweight, healthy weight, it doesn't matter. If you have food problems, you can get help, body size is no indicator.I am LoLing at all these people telling her to seek professional help for her "unhealthy relationship with food". Don't you all see the irony of it? I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food- that's how I got overweight. Are you all really thinking you don't?0 -
I am LoLing at all these people telling her to seek professional help for her "unhealthy relationship with food". Don't you all see the irony of it? I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food- that's how I got overweight. Are you all really thinking you don't?
Not here to lose weight. So, try again.
Also this^ because same, and I didn't mention it in my reply0 -
OP: I find it concerning you've been counting calories since 12. Seriously consider talking to a therapist.0
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Not here to lose weight. So, try again.
[/quote]
Ok. Are you here to gain weight? Then you must have an unhealthy relationship with food if you are underweight. Maybe you are here just to get in better shape? If you are at a healthy weight why are you obsessing over tracking all your calories?0 -
I have a friend who is amazing. She's a runner and doesn't understand why I lift like I do. I don't understand why she's a vegetarian. We have some debates. I love her to death though and I would never ditch her because she questioned me about my eating or lifting habits. It's called being an adult and learning how to deal with differences.
I am so glad you have never had a "friend" who wasn't really a friend and you had to be an adult and cut the relationship off.
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Just to clarify there is nothing “Normal” about me, now with that being said, you should just relax. At you age you can eat just about anything and not have to worry. If you are counting your calories everywhere else you can afford to cut loose from time to time for a single meal once or twice a week. Enjoy eating what you want when you want and just use the foods in the database as a baseline or go places that have the nutritional data on their menus. There is a balance to all of this and you seem to have the scales tipped to much in one direction; get back to center.
If your anxiety is only about not knowing the nutritional data and you can’t go where they have the data then maybe challenge yourself to just accept not knowing from time to time. I have OCD and have made myself stare some of my issues right in the face to overcome them.
Just make sure that you don’t have or develop an eating disorder, which this sounds dangerously close to becoming. I had three friends in high school that did not live past their early 30’s due to the damage they did to their bodies from eating disorders.
Do not take this lightly and do not think that you can do this on your own, get professional help, get in a support group and talk to you framily.
Good luck.
V/r,
DW.
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Not here to lose weight. So, try again.Ok. Are you here to gain weight? Then you must have an unhealthy relationship with food if you are underweight. Maybe you are here just to get in better shape? If you are at a healthy weight why are you obsessing over tracking all your calories?
You must be new here.
I'm in maintenance. I'm here for the fitness advice and to make sure I hit my macro counts.
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I have a friend who is amazing. She's a runner and doesn't understand why I lift like I do. I don't understand why she's a vegetarian. We have some debates. I love her to death though and I would never ditch her because she questioned me about my eating or lifting habits. It's called being an adult and learning how to deal with differences.
I am so glad you have never had a "friend" who wasn't really a friend and you had to be an adult and cut the relationship off.
And how do you know her friends aren't really her friends?
It just baffles me that anyone would tell someone who they do not know to ditch friends who they do not know.
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davidrod001 wrote: »Perception...
In the end, do what makes you happy. Perhaps a little compulsive but guess what, its not entirely wrong nor it is entirely right, its YOUR choice.
My 2 cents: lift like crazy, you already have a handle on nutrition and tracking so you already know. But this kind of dedication is rare so don't be so quick to avoid it, rather use it and harness it. Perhaps we are telling the next Miss Olympia something today etc. You can do anything you want to do, I'm assuming your healthy and intake is on point with nutrional requirements and nutrional guidelines etc.
Remember, haters gonna hate, potaters gonna potate. And they "hate us because they ain't us"
Best of luck, find like goals and those around you with same vision and one day you'll look back and be happy that you have such a firm base of knowledge and of all things that people could possibly control, you already have a firm grasp of this.
Sidenote: go out, have fun. stick to what YOU want. If those around you cannot grasp this without you explaining, find a new group and re-evaluate #LEGENDSOFAESTHETICS
#shreddedwithalife
Yep, if my friends show some concern or have questions about my workout or diet regime, they ain't a friend of mine no more!
Down with the haters. They are obviously jealous and want to be just like me. Woo hoo!
You do realize there is no hashtag functionality on the site, right?
PRMinx I sure do know there is no functionality, but I like to throw them in whenever I feel like Keep up the great posts! 0 -
Not here to lose weight. So, try again.Ok. Are you here to gain weight? Then you must have an unhealthy relationship with food if you are underweight. Maybe you are here just to get in better shape? If you are at a healthy weight why are you obsessing over tracking all your calories?
You must be new here.
I'm in maintenance. I'm here for the fitness advice and to make sure I hit my macro counts.
+And to help advise others about what works and what doesnt.
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
That's just absolutely ridiculous. The boyfriend needs to seek professional help because he eats out a lot and doesn't cook? Who are you to decide if her boyfriend and his friends she "waste" time eating out? You are making assumptions about a relationship that you have no clue about and you know how that's making you look.
Yeah? Learn to boil a dang egg or something? If one of the two is abnormal, damn straight it's the person who eats no meals at home, NOT the person eating out twice a month. I may be forgetting my own posts but I don't believe I've said anything about wasting time... However if you're missing out on time with your friend / girlfriend because she doesn't want to eat excessively calorie dense foods all the time, maybe find out what *she* likes to do and go out and explore those interests, not just get frustrated that she won't eat out with you three meals a day
What makes it abnormal to eat out so much? Because you say so? Who told you that you make life's decisions on what is normal and what isn't? I eat at least 2 of my meals every day outside of my home, that's normal for me so who are you to say it's abnormal.
Also, who cares what they are ordering? What difference does it make?
Ya know what kid? I've used the word "IF" twice. As is typical for our conversations, we're going nowhere. Sorry I bothered. Have a nice day
The cutest part if your comment is you call me kid, when I'm actually older than you. And also you're making rules and judging other people's relationship like a normal adult wouldn't.
LOL
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I am appalled and disheartened that there is something resembling a debate going on about what is clearly disordered behavior and by the misrepresentation of the facts by those who are arguing that there is not a problem. This thread is not one of MFP's finest moments.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
That's just absolutely ridiculous. The boyfriend needs to seek professional help because he eats out a lot and doesn't cook? Who are you to decide if her boyfriend and his friends she "waste" time eating out? You are making assumptions about a relationship that you have no clue about and you know how that's making you look.
Yeah? Learn to boil a dang egg or something? If one of the two is abnormal, damn straight it's the person who eats no meals at home, NOT the person eating out twice a month. I may be forgetting my own posts but I don't believe I've said anything about wasting time... However if you're missing out on time with your friend / girlfriend because she doesn't want to eat excessively calorie dense foods all the time, maybe find out what *she* likes to do and go out and explore those interests, not just get frustrated that she won't eat out with you three meals a day
What makes it abnormal to eat out so much? Because you say so? Who told you that you make life's decisions on what is normal and what isn't? I eat at least 2 of my meals every day outside of my home, that's normal for me so who are you to say it's abnormal.
Also, who cares what they are ordering? What difference does it make?
Ya know what kid? I've used the word "IF" twice. As is typical for our conversations, we're going nowhere. Sorry I bothered. Have a nice day
The cutest part if your comment is you call me kid, when I'm actually older than you. And also you're making rules and judging other people's relationship like a normal adult wouldn't.
I know. I mean, No one EVER called an old guy "kid". Again, will freely admit to filling in the blanks based on my knowledge, experience, and biases. The OP can confirm or deny any assumptions made. Personally I think that's part of what makes discussions fun. Are you having any?
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sheldonklein wrote: »I am appalled and disheartened that there is something resembling a debate going on about what is clearly disordered behavior and by the misrepresentation of the facts by those who are arguing that there is not a problem. This thread is not one of MFP's finest moments.
You must be new.
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Please refer to the OP. The answer to that question is there.
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I don't get what? That all of you are making assumptions about this young lady that you don't know? That someone could look at any one of us and think we are abnormal for various reasons? I am guessing that most of you are not licensed professionals so to talk of diagnosis at all is not really within your scope of knowledge.0 -
I think multiple people are also wondering why the boyfriend can't be normal and eat a lot of meals at home like "normal" people. Not being able to take leftovers home seems abnormal. Not going grocery shopping seems abnormal. So...what about him too?
Who's to say how many times day or a week is at home is normal? One of my closest friends eats dinner out every night and if not he orders. I personally will eat 2 meals, sometimes 3 meals out per day. That's normal for me.christinev297 wrote: »
It's more a question to be asked to the person screaming that his girlfriend is abnormal than anyone else. Like if he thinks she's abnormal, what's so damn normal about eating every single meal out - relatively speaking. I do purchase a lot of meals, too, but I wouldn't call coworkers who prefer to brown bag it, or turn down lunch outings with us abnormal
LOL so heated and what your talking about is not even the issue at hand.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »You guys are arguing over something ridiculous. It doesn't matter how often the boyfriend eats out, or how little the OP does. It doesn't matter if she counts calories or started too young and it doesn't matter how old she is.
The OP said (her own words):I know I don't have a healthy relationship with food
That, IMO, is entirely enough reason for her to talk to someone.
Because I'm looking at everything she wrote in context, not just one sentence. We're all familiar with the freshman 15 and relationship weight gain. She's in the "before" stage, being made to feel like there's something wrong with her because of only eating a couple meals a month outside of her home. I just don't see the point of wasting a professional's time. If anyone needs to see one, it's the boyfriend: a chef. For some cooking lessons. And also her boyfriend and friends need to find other things to do for fun rather than stuffing their faces and waist lines. They could AVOID being an MFP "before" story altogether
That's just absolutely ridiculous. The boyfriend needs to seek professional help because he eats out a lot and doesn't cook? Who are you to decide if her boyfriend and his friends she "waste" time eating out? You are making assumptions about a relationship that you have no clue about and you know how that's making you look.
Makes her look like a comedian.
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You look skinny to me, just tone and excersize to gain back the calories you ate from being outside.0
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Not here to lose weight. So, try again.Ok. Are you here to gain weight? Then you must have an unhealthy relationship with food if you are underweight. Maybe you are here just to get in better shape? If you are at a healthy weight why are you obsessing over tracking all your calories?
You must be new here.
I'm in maintenance. I'm here for the fitness advice and to make sure I hit my macro counts.
Not new. Bro-science and similar nonsense comes with the territory.. Cheerleading for disordered behavior is another.
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This discussion has been closed.
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