My Husband!.... NOT ATTRACTED TO ME!
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Cranquistador wrote: »
I am just finding the blind support for OP amusing....0 -
Fat2Fit145 wrote: »Well... I never thought I'd be here...ALREADY!. Ive been married for almost 5 months. This weekend I saw my husband talking to another female on his phone about our sex life. He told her he was not physically attracted to me. He also told her he is attracted to her... his exact words TO HER, "i'm attracted to u". I'm devastated and really cant believe i'm experiencing this already. It is the MOST hurtful thing EVER!.Fat2Fit145 wrote: »
I told him we need to talk, and he said ok. I knew he knew what i saw because i had been quiet for a few days and he was being extra mushy and loving. Anyway I told him what I saw on his phone. I spoke first and said how I felt, that I was REALLLY hurt, and I couldn't believe it. He apologized immediately, and said that he realize it was wrong and inappropriate...
Wait... you SAW him TALKING to some other woman... BUT... you talked about seeing his TEXT MESSAGES?
:huh:
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Lasmartchika wrote: »Fat2Fit145 wrote: »Well... I never thought I'd be here...ALREADY!. Ive been married for almost 5 months. This weekend I saw my husband talking to another female on his phone about our sex life. He told her he was not physically attracted to me. He also told her he is attracted to her... his exact words TO HER, "i'm attracted to u". I'm devastated and really cant believe i'm experiencing this already. It is the MOST hurtful thing EVER!.Fat2Fit145 wrote: »
I told him we need to talk, and he said ok. I knew he knew what i saw because i had been quiet for a few days and he was being extra mushy and loving. Anyway I told him what I saw on his phone. I spoke first and said how I felt, that I was REALLLY hurt, and I couldn't believe it. He apologized immediately, and said that he realize it was wrong and inappropriate...
Wait... you SAW him TALKING to some other woman... BUT... you talked about seeing his TEXT MESSAGES?
:huh:
LOL I didn't even notice the differences! Nice catch!
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I don't know if OP is even reading anymore - but if you are - if he is cheating or bordering on cheating and you are sitting there saying what did I do wrong, why doesn't he love me, blah blah blah then sorry to say you're doing it to yourself.
Whether you were virgins or not when you got married, you got married and you made a commitment to each other. Also being together for 4 years you made a huge commitment to each other. He is disrespecting that commitment and if you don't stand up for yourself and sit there thinking oh if I just looked like that girl he will love me, he will want me, he will only have sex with me then the only thing I have to say to you is denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Either stand up for yourself or don't . . . don't come on here looking for pity parties. Leave or put up with it. Those are your options if he is cheating. Cheaters can change, if they want to. But a lot of times cheaters cheat because they can - do you want to go to a one option plated dinner if you really love buffets instead? If he is cheating, he is cheating. It's him who is doing it, but it's you who is putting up with it. No amount of weight loss or hot lingerie will keep him from straying if he's so inclined. That I can promise.1 -
To many of the younger generation, talking on the phone is the same as texting. When I ask my 18 year old who she's texting, she says, "I'm talking to my friend, Nikki" or whatever.0
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You're planning to have kids at some point? He does know that pregnancy can look nice on some women and make others look like beach whales right? If he can't support you and encourage when you've barely gained 10 lbs, what do you think he's going to do if you get pregnant and start gaining weight? I'm sorry but your husband is a jerk.1
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If a man is sneaking around talking to other women and telling them that he is not attracted to you but he IS attracted to them, its time to GTFO while you still can. No kids involved? Perfect! Clean break! And since you're already making a healthy lifestyle change, when he tries to come crawling back because you've "gotten hot" in his eyes, you'll get the satisfaction of saying "Um. No." And you can move on to find someone that appreciates you for YOU and not whether you look like a top model for the rest of your life. It wont be easy. But hear me when I say, "IT WILL BE WORTH IT!"1
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When two people get married, each person is obligated to put their best foot forward and do their utmost to sexually satisfy their partner as best as they can. This is a two-way street. He says he "wants you to do more." Okay, well what is HE doing? What do YOU like in bed? What kind of things really get you going? What makes your heart race? Have you talked about it? There are LOTS of activities you can do together in a sexual sense, and they can be as cliche or as crazy-sounding as you want, what's important is that you talk about it SUPER DUPER OPENLY. Do either of you have any fantasies? What kind of sexy things do each of you look at on the internet? What kind of themes are there on these websites? Maybe share those websites with each other. YES it's embarrassing and scary to share these things that are usually private, but when you got married, part of the deal is that you were going to do this for each other as best as you can.
Sexual satisfaction is a big part of marriage, in my opinion. That's why I ended up not marrying first-boyfriend like I thought I would... Our sexual tastes just did not click at all. We weren't sexually compatible, and it was never going to work out. If that's the case for you, then I doubt your marriage is in a good place. But better to find this out now before you have kids then later.
Try your best to think about YOUR well-being and YOUR happiness and not blame yourself too much. Make an effort, do what you can, but try to know when you've just done everything you could and it's a lost cause.
Good luck.0 -
So bc you may have gained a few, he goes talking to other females? Um yeah, not ok! But especially so when you are married.
I'd probably kick him to the curb since you are just 5 months in. I cannot even imagine his actions for years to come.
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slideaway1 wrote: »enterdanger wrote: »um, I agree with the people who say weight isn't the issue. Not sure how open your marriage is, but if my husband ever discussed our sex life with another woman and then told that woman he was attracted to her I would throat punch him. Then I'd get a divorce lawyer.
I'm not saying this is what you should do, just what I would do. Then I would get counseling for myself because I would be totally distraught.
That sounds a bit like hypothetical domestic violence. I know that you were not suggesting that is what she should do, but if a man wrote that people would rightly be all over him.
It would TOTALLY be domestic violence. I would still do it. Seriously, I have 2 young children with my husband and we have been married for 6 years and together for 8 years. It would be violence out of hurt and I've never hit anyone before, but this would be what breaks me.
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For sickness and in health. A lot of people forget this part of their vows. After only 5 months, he is wanting to bail on you for gaining some weight is crazy! Imagine if it was a SERIOUS health issue!1
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Fat2Fit145 wrote: »lishie_rebooted wrote: »These responses make me sad, no wonder people don't stay married anymore. If you thought you loved this man enough to spend the rest of your life with him, get off the internet and work on your marriage.
See a marriage counselor or talk to a pastor or talk to each other. Talk to an older couple who has been married for a long time. Talk to anyone but a bunch of strangers on the internet lol.
Does he know you are airing your problems on here? Is that much different than him discussing your private life with a close friend?
I pointed this out on the first page
Well at this point I could care less.... At the end of it all I am NOT building an emtional attachment to scores of strangers., which he was doing with ONE FEMALE. There is BIG difference.
One female that you know of...1 -
Sounds like he has a problem, not you. You can fix yours, but can he fix his? It would be sad to find out 30 years later that he did not! Call him out and tell him how you feel or kick him out! Women are not bathroom tissue...You don't use them and discard at once.
If he truly loved you 10 pounds ago, he is just a jerk!
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Why would this be your fault?! Please take a moment to love yourself. So NOT your fault. He sounds like an unsupportive and unfaithful creep.
If you really think that the weight was the issue (I doubt) then maybe you should try a couples' weight loss plan like multiple destination hikes, cooking healthy together stay-in date nights, weekly dancing nights, or take the change in season to join a kayak club or something. Something to reconnect and rebuild interest (and trust- the jerk).0 -
ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
NEVER. EVEN. CONSIDERED. IT.
Unless you count that one bizarro dream where Pierce Brosnan (as he was in the 80s) tells me he's in love with me and wants me to leave my husband and family to be with him. Oh, and even though I struggled in the dream I did say no, I couldn't do that.
Then I woke up feeling guilty for having such a dream!
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