How Many Fitness Friends Do You Really Need???
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »CindyRoseMarie wrote: »You are all so right! Who needs friends? For all of you who thought I was looking for a "True Companion", "Buddy-Buddy", you missed the boat! But that's alright, having you in my boat makes it just a little to hard to row. I know this will get a lot of negative feedback because that is what so many of you are good at doing. So, I will laugh it off and continue on my journey, alone, without any friends. Boo-hoo. Not likely, I will continue to move ahead with those who choose to care about my journey as they have the same struggle. I will try to inspire them to succeed and hopefully they will do the same for me.
For those of you who asked "why do I care?"? I care because I understand the difficulty of trying to lose weight and the feeling that it will never happen or take forever to happen. I care about people in general, how they feel, I want everyone to be successful at what they are trying to achieve.
So, for those who want to go it alone, go ahead, walk by yourself, I'm happy for you.
I get far more out of my real world friends than I do randos on the internet...I simply do not understand how some rando people you've never actually met can have any influence on you or your journey whatsoever...I just don't get that at all.
You know what's super awesome? When you meet these "randos" in "real life" and they are no longer "people you've never actually met".
I don't know...I did this once with a "friend" from a camping forum...that was really just a long weekend and I couldn't wait for it to end.
Beside, my point is that I have a lot of really good fitness friends...that I can go to the gym and be like, "hey...what do you think about this?" or "hey...can I drop by so you can check out my form on X."
I have some friends here that are also great for bouncing things off and whatnot...and who knows, maybe if we met in person it would be all great...but at this point, they're all still basically random stranger...some of them are pretty cool random strangers...but really, they are random strangers none the less...and really, my point was basically why is the OP letting basically random internet strangers determine motivation and whatnot?0 -
RavenLibra wrote: »I don't need friends to HELP me lose weight... or to motivate me... I NEED friends to inspire me by allowing me to witness their struggles, and their victories over those struggles... for many... it is NOT just weight and fat that they are shedding...many are trying to lose some serious emotional shackles... it's an emotional journey away from what they once were... it's becoming what they WANT to be... and for me it is an Honour.. that they have agreed to let me into that space... I am constantly accepting and removing friends... for me... I can honor about 30 peoples' efforts consistently...
^ This... ^
I was on MFP for almost a year and had nearly reached my goal weight before I sent my first friend request. I don't have many, but the friends I've made have kept things entertaining - and I'll admit that there have been moments when a friend's accomplishment has inspired me to set new goals and push myself a little more.
Lately, I've been accepting more FRs from MFP newbies in the hopes that my success will inspire others (obviously, no guarantees there).
Friendship (even virtual friendship) is a two-way street... you get what you give.0 -
Iron_Feline wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »CindyRoseMarie wrote: »You are all so right! Who needs friends? For all of you who thought I was looking for a "True Companion", "Buddy-Buddy", you missed the boat! But that's alright, having you in my boat makes it just a little to hard to row. I know this will get a lot of negative feedback because that is what so many of you are good at doing. So, I will laugh it off and continue on my journey, alone, without any friends. Boo-hoo. Not likely, I will continue to move ahead with those who choose to care about my journey as they have the same struggle. I will try to inspire them to succeed and hopefully they will do the same for me.
For those of you who asked "why do I care?"? I care because I understand the difficulty of trying to lose weight and the feeling that it will never happen or take forever to happen. I care about people in general, how they feel, I want everyone to be successful at what they are trying to achieve.
So, for those who want to go it alone, go ahead, walk by yourself, I'm happy for you.
I get far more out of my real world friends than I do randos on the internet...I simply do not understand how some rando people you've never actually met can have any influence on you or your journey whatsoever...I just don't get that at all.
You know what's super awesome? When you meet these "randos" in "real life" and they are no longer "people you've never actually met".
Meeting people in real life that you met on the internet - that plan will get you murdered in your sleep!
shoot, i didn't know i was DEAD!0 -
I like having lots of friends on here. Particularly anyone funny, pro-lifting and anti-broscience. Keeps my feed interesting in case I get banned from the forums lol. Add me you mofos!0
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None
We are all making our own journeys - mine is not successful because of my 'friends' and I'm pretty sure they aren't successful because I like or comment on a post in a private window
I don't get this "motivate me", I need friends
I think people need commitment
And I think if people interest, amuse or entertain you and you want them as friends in a private space to have private conversations then you should
But I do not need Whoops and PomPoms .. I just need my own commitment
You have 69 friends!!!
@rabbitjb having 69 Friends does not contradict what she said. She didn't say she doesn't have friends she said she doesn't need friends to succeed. She has learned the tools that she needs to do this on her own which is where we all need to be in the end.
She doesn't have friends to help her lose weight or maintain, she has friends that she likes. (pretty sure that's what she was getting at, not sure if I explained it well as I'm working out while voice typing this0 -
blankiefinder wrote: »None
We are all making our own journeys - mine is not successful because of my 'friends' and I'm pretty sure they aren't successful because I like or comment on a post in a private window
I don't get this "motivate me", I need friends
I think people need commitment
And I think if people interest, amuse or entertain you and you want them as friends in a private space to have private conversations then you should
But I do not need Whoops and PomPoms .. I just need my own commitment
You have 69 friends!!!
@rabbitjb having 69 Friends does not contradict what she said. She didn't say she doesn't have friends she said she doesn't need friends to succeed. She has learned the tools that she needs to do this on her own which is where we all need to be in the end.
She doesn't have friends to help her lose weight or maintain, she has friends that she likes. (pretty sure that's what she was getting at, not sure if I explained it well as I'm working out while voice typing this
@blankiefinder yes that's spot on ... I used to add people who wanted me to but I assumed they read my profile where I actually say I'm not a natural cheerleader and to expect no whoops
..now I rarely add new people, only when I am interested, amused or educated by them in forum interactions
I am so impressed by voice typing whilst exercising :bigsmile:
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I don't need them but it's nice to see what other people are doing. Sometimes it gives me new ideas so I'm happy to be friends with just about anyone.0
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Everybody is different. Everybody should do what they want.0
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None
We are all making our own journeys - mine is not successful because of my 'friends' and I'm pretty sure they aren't successful because I like or comment on a post in a private window
I don't get this "motivate me", I need friends
I think people need commitment
And I think if people interest, amuse or entertain you and you want them as friends in a private space to have private conversations then you should
But I do not need Whoops and PomPoms .. I just need my own commitment
It's true, you have to have that drive to succeed inside of you first, the pompoms and cheering is nice along the way, but not needed in order to succeed.
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MireyGal76 wrote: »Lasmartchika wrote: »Iron_Feline wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »CindyRoseMarie wrote: »You are all so right! Who needs friends? For all of you who thought I was looking for a "True Companion", "Buddy-Buddy", you missed the boat! But that's alright, having you in my boat makes it just a little to hard to row. I know this will get a lot of negative feedback because that is what so many of you are good at doing. So, I will laugh it off and continue on my journey, alone, without any friends. Boo-hoo. Not likely, I will continue to move ahead with those who choose to care about my journey as they have the same struggle. I will try to inspire them to succeed and hopefully they will do the same for me.
For those of you who asked "why do I care?"? I care because I understand the difficulty of trying to lose weight and the feeling that it will never happen or take forever to happen. I care about people in general, how they feel, I want everyone to be successful at what they are trying to achieve.
So, for those who want to go it alone, go ahead, walk by yourself, I'm happy for you.
I get far more out of my real world friends than I do randos on the internet...I simply do not understand how some rando people you've never actually met can have any influence on you or your journey whatsoever...I just don't get that at all.
You know what's super awesome? When you meet these "randos" in "real life" and they are no longer "people you've never actually met".
Meeting people in real life that you met on the internet - that plan will get you murdered in your sleep!
I didn't die!! I'm still alive!!
Or am I typing this from the beyond?! OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!
:laugh:
I fell in love, we eventually met in person, and I finally learned what incredible sex was like.
TMI... sorry
But yeah... so not sorry
EXACTLY!! :bigsmile:
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Need? 0 I like all my friends though. Don't really need many people in this world they always let me down anyway
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I don't need any friends. I just enjoy having some to chat with about shared interests and goals. I generally only accept friend requests from people with a similar approach to weight loss (or life), and I decline a lot.
I don't know why any of this matters though. People have varied ways they use this site. There's no right or wrong way.0 -
CindyRoseMarie wrote: »The reason I enlist friends is to create a little wind behind my sail. It's sometimes hard, especially when you have a lot of weight to lose, to go it alone. Everyone could use a pat on the back, a job well done, a little advice to make the weight loss journey a little easier.
Unfortunately I find that many collect friends just to add numbers to their already long list of friends or maybe they just don't know how to say No to a request. Really though, how good a friend can you be when you have so many friends that you can't make a real impact on their weight loss journey. Is six enough? Is twelve too many. How many friends do you have and how many do you actually make real comments on and not just click the like tab?
Are you being a force of good for the friends you have? You've agreed to be their friends, are you truly being one?
So are your friends not being good/supportive friends to you? Unfriend them and move on. Choose friends who are more similar to you.
I don't comment to people on my friends list all the time. I do read their statuses daily, randomly look at diaries, like things they post and sometimes comment. I'm happy with the mfp friends I have and the level of interaction with internet strangers. If they think I am a bad friend for not posting more comments then they can remove me.
I'm comfortable keeping up with around 30 mfp friends. I do not accept all requests. If someone has 1,000 friends I usually decline. If it seems like someone has nothing in common with me or my goals then I decline.
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I think the word "friend" is a misnomer for what happens on social media sites, and I really wish there were another word used for this instead. I don't approach online interactions in the same way as I do real-life friendships. I have online "friends" who I've met in real life, some have become like family and some have stayed in my house, some I'm going to be running a Mudder with soon, and others who I wouldn't even recognize if I met them in real life.
I'm not sure why "they would make perfect real life friends" would be a necessary component of online interactions or being on some list in a database on a web server.
I also accept any friend requests here, and have no expectations of the people on my "friends" list. I figure if someone enjoys having me on their "friends list" and seeing my workouts or diary or the silly comments I make, even if they never "interact" with me, then more power to them.
Stop me before I finger-quote again!0 -
CindyRoseMarie wrote: »You are all so right! Who needs friends? For all of you who thought I was looking for a "True Companion", "Buddy-Buddy", you missed the boat! But that's alright, having you in my boat makes it just a little to hard to row. I know this will get a lot of negative feedback because that is what so many of you are good at doing. So, I will laugh it off and continue on my journey, alone, without any friends. Boo-hoo. Not likely, I will continue to move ahead with those who choose to care about my journey as they have the same struggle. I will try to inspire them to succeed and hopefully they will do the same for me.
For those of you who asked "why do I care?"? I care because I understand the difficulty of trying to lose weight and the feeling that it will never happen or take forever to happen. I care about people in general, how they feel, I want everyone to be successful at what they are trying to achieve.
So, for those who want to go it alone, go ahead, walk by yourself, I'm happy for you.
Sometimes you have to row your own way. But if you need help bailing you might be in trouble.
Good luck on you journey.....0 -
I would love to have some friends to interact with who focus on whole foods so I can get some ideas. Hello! If you're out there please friend me!0
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So what you're saying is everyone does their own thing and that's totally cool, unless their own thing happens to be different from your own thing, then it's not cool and they shouldn't have any friends at all.CountryBabe75 wrote: »The number of friends any particular person needs is definitely up to that person. I personally like having less than 100 people. I feel sorry for those who feel they need no one, because they are missing out on some really good friendships, but we all use MFP differently. I interact with all my friends. I make an effort to comment on everything they post, because if they thought it was important enough to share, I should let them know I think it's important as well. A lot of "Friend Collectors" see MFP as Twitter. This isn't Twitter, it's a weight loss support website. If you aren't going to offer any support, then stay in the forums and don't have friends. Bottom line, do what works for you. It's your MFP page, make it yours. What anyone else thinks doesn't matter.
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