Sex.. Is it really what keeps the relationship together?
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TavistockToad wrote: »natalegreen2015 wrote: »does sex really determin the strength of your relationship? Just curious. I've had multiple friends who are mid twenties late twenties constantly blaming their sexual experiences with there partners to be the reason for their relationship to end or going south. I mean, if you truly "love" someone why concentrate so much on satisfaction instead of sensuality. I'm old fashion if you get what I'm saying
sex itself isnt that important, but being compatible in the bedroom is...
i had a friend who was an every other day kind of fella... his girlfriend and then wife was a once a month kind of lady... it didnt work...
This happened to me. My ex never wanted it and I wanted it a lot more. It put a huge strain on relationship and begin causing problems in other areas.
I refused to be with someone going forward that isn't more on the same page. Is it everything def not. Is it very important. Yes.
Doesn't have to be just sex, i agree its about what you want. Cuddling etc physical chemistry.0 -
You have to have some type of physical connection with someone. When the physical relationship starts breaking down, often times this results in more issues.0
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Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!
How can you say anything about sex? Sorry not sorry you have no idea since you never had sex.
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natalegreen2015 wrote: »Is it the only thing that keeps a relationship together? No. But it's a big part of it...at least for me. Sexual chemistry is important, and for me, it makes the relationship stronger. I've been in both really good and really bad relationships sexually speaking. One in particular was the best sexual relationship I had ever been in. Honestly, I did not fully understand what an orgasm felt like until I met this person. I also felt a much deeper connection to him than anyone else I had been with.
Okay so because you basically had the best sex of your life do you think you would've still like him if he was semi bad?
As a person of course I would have still liked him, but it definitely made our connection stronger than it would have been if we hadn't had good sexual chemistry. My relationship with him was on a different level than it had been with anyone else. Just my experience. I know for some sex is not a big deal, but for me, sexual chemistry is important. And I didn't realize how important it was until I had a relationship like I did with him. Trust me, once you have mind blowing sex (and maybe you have I don't know) it's a game changer, lol.
Mind blowing sex. I don't think I had that. :sad:
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I think it is. It's a major way for a couple to demonstrate love and reinforce emotional ties ( and the fact that they still find each other attractive) . I don't think that can be done only in a platonic way. Any good sex makes everyone happier. Endorphins are your friend! Happy couples stay together.0
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natalegreen2015 wrote: »does sex really determin the strength of your relationship?
No. Interest and satisfaction with sexual relations is about the quality of the relationship with the person. When unhappy couples complain and say they don't have enough sex, that is almost always a symptom of other true relationship issues.
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It depends on the person. People with similar sex drives are a good match. Some people really don't care about it so much, some people almost never want it, and some people want it all the time. Having two people with completely different libidos is always going to leave one of them wanting and the other feeling pressured.0
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MeganMoroz89 wrote: »natalegreen2015 wrote: »does sex really determin the strength of your relationship?
No. Interest and satisfaction with sexual relations is about the quality of the relationship with the person. When unhappy couples complain and say they don't have enough sex, that is almost always a symptom of other true relationship issues.
I disagree.
If a person complains that they don't have enough sex with their partner that can simply mean that they have a high libido that isn't being satisfied, and that's it.
Sure, in a few instances that can be the case. With people I know it just isn't - at least as the major make or break point of staying together or separating.
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Personally, my sexual satisfaction is directly related to how deenatalegreen2015 wrote: »does sex really determin the strength of your relationship?
No. Interest and satisfaction with sexual relations is about the quality of the relationship with the person. When unhappy couples complain and say they don't have enough sex, that is almost always a symptom of other true relationship issues.
So much this! Personally, my sexual satisfaction is related to the quality of my relationship and how I feel about that person. For me, it's more about the connection and bond rather than the physical act.
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I think the takeaway is the compatibility sexually. Some people view it as helping the connection, some people view it as a result of the emotional connection.
See i think it helps build the emotional connection, some view it the opposite. When having issues emotionally i think connecting physically can help rebuild the emotional. They really just go hand in hand in my opinion.
If i'm not having sex with you then you are no more than a really great friend.0 -
Its a problem with us. My hubs wants it 24/7 while I can settle at maybe once a week. And its not the lack of sex that screws our relationship up, its the arguments we get into when he wants it and I don't.0
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Every relationship is different, but IMO no, sex is not the most important thing. Sex is pretty easy to find. It's the deeper connections that are hard to find and worth hanging around for.0
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Must agree with Need, ever relationship is different. I mean i want sex all the time but my g/f only a little. But this comes from different work schedule and daily life interferring. has our relationship taken a toll, i do not think so. I mean we make up for it other ways by doing things together that makes us happy.0
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1. I wouldn't say it keeps a relationship together but I am willing to bet that if you take away the sex you will add a lot of complications. All of the other things that frustrate you in life will become even more frustrating....
2. When couples get together sex is usually a constant but as the relationship ages, if the two are not on the same wave someone is going to cheat and someone is going to be feeling neglected, and someone is going to be hurt.
3. My personal rule. "The same things you do to get the woman/man is the same thing you have to do to keep the woman/man".....this includes sex.0 -
1. I wouldn't say it keeps a relationship together but I am willing to bet that if you take away the sex you will add a lot of complications. All of the other things that frustrate you in life will become even more frustrating....
2. When couples get together sex is usually a constant but as the relationship ages, if the two are not on the same wave someone is going to cheat and someone is going to be feeling neglected, and someone is going to be hurt.
3. My personal rule. "The same things you do to get the woman/man is the same thing you have to do to keep the woman/man".....this includes sex.
interesting number 3 you got there. I agree with is sometimes. I usually always pay for the first date. I rather not keep paying for everything all the time.
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What matters most is that both partners are on the same page about their sex life.0
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You damn right,
Men need to feel wanted sexual just like a woman. It makes us feel more..manly
Women need it to feel more womanlY and desired.
If the bedroom connection is going downhill I guarantee the whole relationship is suffering.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »1. I wouldn't say it keeps a relationship together but I am willing to bet that if you take away the sex you will add a lot of complications. All of the other things that frustrate you in life will become even more frustrating....
2. When couples get together sex is usually a constant but as the relationship ages, if the two are not on the same wave someone is going to cheat and someone is going to be feeling neglected, and someone is going to be hurt.
3. My personal rule. "The same things you do to get the woman/man is the same thing you have to do to keep the woman/man".....this includes sex.
interesting number 3 you got there. I agree with is sometimes. I usually always pay for the first date. I rather not keep paying for everything all the time.
You haven't gotten the person after the first date, so as long as you set your expectations early you should be fine.0 -
never2bstopped wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »1. I wouldn't say it keeps a relationship together but I am willing to bet that if you take away the sex you will add a lot of complications. All of the other things that frustrate you in life will become even more frustrating....
2. When couples get together sex is usually a constant but as the relationship ages, if the two are not on the same wave someone is going to cheat and someone is going to be feeling neglected, and someone is going to be hurt.
3. My personal rule. "The same things you do to get the woman/man is the same thing you have to do to keep the woman/man".....this includes sex.
interesting number 3 you got there. I agree with is sometimes. I usually always pay for the first date. I rather not keep paying for everything all the time.
You haven't gotten the person after the first date, so as long as you set your expectations early you should be fine.
well we would have to define what the other posters means by get? There are different "gets" for people. relationship, FWB, etc....0 -
natalegreen2015 wrote: »does sex really determin the strength of your relationship? Just curious. I've had multiple friends who are mid twenties late twenties constantly blaming their sexual experiences with there partners to be the reason for their relationship to end or going south. I mean, if you truly "love" someone why concentrate so much on satisfaction instead of sensuality. I'm old fashion if you get what I'm saying
Old fashioned...
Yeah I think I get it. I think what a lot of people are missing is that you should never jump into a sexual relationship until you are ready in the first place. Affection is really the important thing. There are plenty of other ways to show affection than just to sleep with someone. Most people crave attention and contact and like to be shown that they are loved and appreciated. Holding hands, light touches, kissing etc. Its not all just fitting bits into pieces. I think the blaming on lack of sex is really just lack of affection in general. Once you lose that the relationship goes south.
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I feel like sex is important but it should never be a brick that makes up a relationship or makes it fall apart. Making love to your spouse is a bonus that both of them should/can enjoy - but a relationship can (and should imo) be able to survive without it should that be the case.0
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yopeeps025 wrote: »never2bstopped wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »1. I wouldn't say it keeps a relationship together but I am willing to bet that if you take away the sex you will add a lot of complications. All of the other things that frustrate you in life will become even more frustrating....
2. When couples get together sex is usually a constant but as the relationship ages, if the two are not on the same wave someone is going to cheat and someone is going to be feeling neglected, and someone is going to be hurt.
3. My personal rule. "The same things you do to get the woman/man is the same thing you have to do to keep the woman/man".....this includes sex.
interesting number 3 you got there. I agree with is sometimes. I usually always pay for the first date. I rather not keep paying for everything all the time.
You haven't gotten the person after the first date, so as long as you set your expectations early you should be fine.
well we would have to define what the other posters means by get? There are different "gets" for people. relationship, FWB, etc....
For this discussion I would define get by relationship, since that is what this thread is about.0 -
The key to happiness in my marriage is separate bathrooms.0
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I believe intimacy is much more important than sex. People can pay to have mind-blowing sex and not know the other person's name. Intimacy is different. It can (and when married, should) include sex, but if you haven't developed the relationship through talking together, playing together, working together, and loving and forgiving each other, the best sex in the world won't save the relationship. If you have a great relationship, bad sex won't ruin the relationship, but I also believe you should work to make it better. Good sex is a wonderful way to deepen the relationship.0
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never2bstopped wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »never2bstopped wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »1. I wouldn't say it keeps a relationship together but I am willing to bet that if you take away the sex you will add a lot of complications. All of the other things that frustrate you in life will become even more frustrating....
2. When couples get together sex is usually a constant but as the relationship ages, if the two are not on the same wave someone is going to cheat and someone is going to be feeling neglected, and someone is going to be hurt.
3. My personal rule. "The same things you do to get the woman/man is the same thing you have to do to keep the woman/man".....this includes sex.
interesting number 3 you got there. I agree with is sometimes. I usually always pay for the first date. I rather not keep paying for everything all the time.
You haven't gotten the person after the first date, so as long as you set your expectations early you should be fine.
well we would have to define what the other posters means by get? There are different "gets" for people. relationship, FWB, etc....
For this discussion I would define get by relationship, since that is what this thread is about.
OK so to your quote."You haven't gotten the person after the first date, so as long as you set your expectations early you should be fine."
Said no one to me because I have not only had a first date. Always leads to more which is usually what I want. I'm picky with who I date. I don't feel like wasting mine or someone else time.
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No, I don't think it's what keeps a relationship together. Is it important that both people are satisfied with it, sure. But if sex is the most important thing in your relationship, that's sad.0
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I didn't create this quote, but I believe it one hundred percent:
Couples who play together, stay together.
You can experience intimate joy with another person without technically having "sex" and you can love a person without it. On the other hand, sex has evolved with us as a means of bonding with a partner. We do bond in other ways, but sex is important. To deny that is to deny the problems your relationship is having. It's not the MOST important thing, but you have to have something that binds you on an intimate level. And sex is best at that.0 -
Sex isn't the only thing that matters, but it is a "must have". If the sex isn't good, I won't want to be with the person very long. I would never be with them long enough to "love" them if the sex isn't good.0
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In my opinion, sex is only as good as the relationship. The key to both is good communication. In 17 years of marriage, I can tell you it's had it's ups and downs (No pun intended). Just like any lasting relationship, it requires work. Adding fuel to the relationship fires up the sex life.0
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