Sex.. Is it really what keeps the relationship together?
Options
Replies
-
MoiAussi93 wrote: »Sex isn't the only thing that matters, but it is a "must have". If the sex isn't good, I won't want to be with the person very long. I would never be with them long enough to "love" them if the sex isn't good.
I don't know If I would say all of that. I guess you might not like virgins at all because there not good in bed. (Maybe)
I think since I never answer the OP that yes sex is also a must have in a relationship. I am one of those every other day types at minimum. Now if she sucks in bed then two qualities could help with that which will help build the relationship. Trust and communication. She does not have to be the best at sex for it to work. It would be up to me to also use those two qualities so she can become an amazing partner and also me for her which will lead to great sex
Maybe even mind blowing sex. I'm still trying to figure out what this means for men? Actually nevermind I think I can answer my own questions. I have a better guess what it means for women.0 -
Curvaceousnsassy wrote: »Here's my opinion and I'm 40 and have been in a few relationships lol my last relationship determined for me that good sex is definitely in my top 5 requirements because my last BF had no drive, was boring and was completely unaffectionate...I mean there was no cuddling, hand holding, kissing...nadda zilch nothing...I would lay in bed thinking "this can't be the rest of my life." So for YES sex is important...chemistry and passion are important. Yes. Period. (At least for me)
I feel this way. However, I don't know if sex is SO important it's what makes or breaks a relationship but I've been in an unaffectionate/ sexless relationship and have laid in bed wondering if this was going to be the rest of my life. Chemistry is definitely important. Feeling wanted is just as important too. But I do agree with this posters view.
0 -
Having awesome sexual chemistry is an absolute necessity for a permanent marriage. I have it in mine, and I can tell you first hand that it is the single most important element for staying happy together for life.
Don't settle for less!
0 -
My answer is this: Yes, and no. Sex is like extra glue to help hold the joints together, but what really keeps a relationship together is real covenant-like commitment. Most people have no clue as to what that is....sadly. It means you make yourself into the best person you can be for your spouse/so. It means selflessness on both sides, especially your own. It means that you actually fix problems rather than making them worse. Think about some of the people who can't have sex due to loss of, or other disabilities who have been in committed relationships which extend beyond death even. It has very little to do with sex in reality.
This!!
0 -
ive been married 18 years.
no.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »Sex isn't the only thing that matters, but it is a "must have". If the sex isn't good, I won't want to be with the person very long. I would never be with them long enough to "love" them if the sex isn't good.
I don't know If I would say all of that. I guess you might not like virgins at all because there not good in bed. (Maybe)
I think since I never answer the OP that yes sex is also a must have in a relationship. I am one of those every other day types at minimum. Now if she sucks in bed then two qualities could help with that which will help build the relationship. Trust and communication. She does not have to be the best at sex for it to work. It would be up to me to also use those two qualities so she can become an amazing partner and also me for her which will lead to great sex
Maybe even mind blowing sex. I'm still trying to figure out what this means for men? Actually nevermind I think I can answer my own questions. I have a better guess what it means for women.
I'm a 44 year old woman, and have absolutely no interest in virgins!! Never had, never will.
I think with any new person, there is a learning curve. But that is very different than having bad sex. In my experience, a person who is good in bed is a good communicator, open minded, and will very quickly figure out what works for me...either by observation/trial & error, or by actually listening to what I tell them...I think I have a responsibility to speak up if I want something I'm not getting or if what they're doing isn't working for me. If they don't...then I don't see the point in sticking with them long enough to get attached emotionally and make the ultimate breakup more painful. This is not a process that takes months...you're either compatible or you're not and that is usually clear very quickly.0 -
My answer is this: Yes, and no. Sex is like extra glue to help hold the joints together, but what really keeps a relationship together is real covenant-like commitment. Most people have no clue as to what that is....sadly. It means you make yourself into the best person you can be for your spouse/so. It means selflessness on both sides, especially your own. It means that you actually fix problems rather than making them worse. Think about some of the people who can't have sex due to loss of, or other disabilities who have been in committed relationships which extend beyond death even. It has very little to do with sex in reality.
This!!
MikeCrazy - you may not be as crazy as I first suspected....LOL
I agree with this statement, I have been married to the love of my life for 26 years, and he is so much more than my lover. The commitment that is so evident is what truly makes sex so fulfilling in a long term relationship.... We both spend our time trying to be that best person we can be to each other....0 -
Not for me.0
-
Sex was readily available for the ex...I still left him. No. It's much deeper than that.0
-
MoiAussi93 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »Sex isn't the only thing that matters, but it is a "must have". If the sex isn't good, I won't want to be with the person very long. I would never be with them long enough to "love" them if the sex isn't good.
I don't know If I would say all of that. I guess you might not like virgins at all because there not good in bed. (Maybe)
I think since I never answer the OP that yes sex is also a must have in a relationship. I am one of those every other day types at minimum. Now if she sucks in bed then two qualities could help with that which will help build the relationship. Trust and communication. She does not have to be the best at sex for it to work. It would be up to me to also use those two qualities so she can become an amazing partner and also me for her which will lead to great sex
Maybe even mind blowing sex. I'm still trying to figure out what this means for men? Actually nevermind I think I can answer my own questions. I have a better guess what it means for women.
I'm a 44 year old woman, and have absolutely no interest in virgins!! Never had, never will.
I think with any new person, there is a learning curve. But that is very different than having bad sex. I'n my experience, a person who is good in bed is a good communicator, open minded, and will very quickly figure out what works for me...either by observation/trial & error, or by actually listening to what I tell them...I think I have a responsibility to speak up if I want something I'm not getting or if what they're doing isn't working for me. If they don't...then I don't see the point in sticking with them long enough to get attached emotionally and make the ultimate breakup more painful. This is not a process that takes months...you're either compatible or you're not and that is usually clear very quickly.
Preach. Tell us men what you want. There is no better feeling than hear the woman you're with scream exactly what she wants.
0 -
I think it does if people let it, but I honestly think most sexual problems are actually communication problems.0
-
-
I didn't read any of the other posts but there was a point in my relationship where my other half and I weren't having sex. he worked long hours and by the time I got into bed with him he was asleep. we had sex maybe a couple times a month. I was frustrated and it felt like he didn't care. It took a toll on our relationship. We were good otherwise but if theres no action in the bedroom it can put some stress on the relationship.0
-
Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!
Please come back when you've actually had sex and have been married.0 -
I think it depends on the person. For me, I know I need physical proximity (hugs, snuggling, playing with hair, etc) to feel like my love tank is being filled, if that makes sense, but that doesn't necessarily mean sex. In fact, if there's sex but no other touching, I still don't 'fee'l loved. My husband is just the opposite. I'm a big fan of the Five Love Languages book - each person will feel fulfilled through different means and it's important in your relationship to identify what it is that makes your partner 'feel' the most loved. Knowing each other's love languages isn't make or break, necessarily, but it definitely keeps things well oiled. We're going on 10 years and almost never fight in part because we've made a point of learning each other's priorities and what we both need to feel loved.0
-
Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!
Yeah. I thought that too when I was a 19-year-old virgin about to get married.
It turned out that I really had no idea what I was talking about.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »MoiAussi93 wrote: »Sex isn't the only thing that matters, but it is a "must have". If the sex isn't good, I won't want to be with the person very long. I would never be with them long enough to "love" them if the sex isn't good.
I don't know If I would say all of that. I guess you might not like virgins at all because there not good in bed. (Maybe)
I think since I never answer the OP that yes sex is also a must have in a relationship. I am one of those every other day types at minimum. Now if she sucks in bed then two qualities could help with that which will help build the relationship. Trust and communication. She does not have to be the best at sex for it to work. It would be up to me to also use those two qualities so she can become an amazing partner and also me for her which will lead to great sex
Maybe even mind blowing sex. I'm still trying to figure out what this means for men? Actually nevermind I think I can answer my own questions. I have a better guess what it means for women.
I'm a 44 year old woman, and have absolutely no interest in virgins!! Never had, never will.
I think with any new person, there is a learning curve. But that is very different than having bad sex. I'n my experience, a person who is good in bed is a good communicator, open minded, and will very quickly figure out what works for me...either by observation/trial & error, or by actually listening to what I tell them...I think I have a responsibility to speak up if I want something I'm not getting or if what they're doing isn't working for me. If they don't...then I don't see the point in sticking with them long enough to get attached emotionally and make the ultimate breakup more painful. This is not a process that takes months...you're either compatible or you're not and that is usually clear very quickly.
Preach. Tell us men what you want. There is no better feeling than hear the woman you're with scream exactly what she wants.
Except when your neighbors have to hear it lol.0 -
Also I find it amusing that now I have ads for SecondLife, which is what put the nail in the coffin of my first marriage.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 389 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 920 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions