Holiday turns into negative comments regarding my gym workouts/results. How would you respond?

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Replies

  • HumboldtFred
    HumboldtFred Posts: 159 Member
    Ask her if she brushes her teeth. When she says "Yes" just stare at her a long time then say Why?
  • flatlndr
    flatlndr Posts: 713 Member
    I'm surprised that 5 pages in, no one suggested this response to your M-I-L: "Do you even lift?"
  • acpgee
    acpgee Posts: 7,958 Member
    It's about better health, not appearance. And if you enjoy it, all the better. Just ignore them.
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
    First, so what if you are only there for socializing? What's wrong with that? It's your money, right, not hers?

    Second, you're making improvments to your health. She doesn't have to see results, you do. (And maybe your doctor.)
    You're under no obligation to discuss your health with anyone else.
    "I'm happy with my progress. Thank you for your concern, but I don't want to discuss this with you further."
    Repeat until she gets the idea.
    .
    Arvin wrote:
    "Thank you for your opinion. I'll be sure to give it the consideration it deserves." ::superior smile, change of subject::
    I like that too.

    And your husband should have stood up for you too.
    .
    mrihel6615 wrote:
    my sister is over weight and she made fun of me yesterday for not eating a doughnut by saying "what, don't want to calculate the calories or something?"
    Why would I want to do that? I'm not the one eating it.
    Why am I not eating it? Because I don't want to look like you.
  • MKEgal
    MKEgal Posts: 3,250 Member
    enterdanger wrote:
    my mother in law and I butt heads all the times over her excessive gift giving to my toddlers.
    Our house is only so big and they can only play with one toy at a time. Finally, this Christmas after
    having the talk with her well in advance not to try and "outdo" santa again (just 1 gift please) I just
    told the kids to pick one toy to take home and the rest would stay at mom mom's house to be
    played with when they visit her. The look on her face was priceless.
    Oh, yes, exactly the right thing to do! :smiley: Let her deal with the mess.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    MKEgal wrote: »
    Why would I want to do that? I'm not the one eating it.
    Why am I not eating it? Because I don't want to look like you.

    This! "But WHY won't you 'at least try' the five thousand things I'm overeating right now?" Because although you don't mind having an a** that could fell a mastodon with one blow, lady, I do.

  • Team_Hound
    Team_Hound Posts: 5
    I would tell her its none of her business what you do with your time or how you spend her money.
  • zidine100
    zidine100 Posts: 23 Member
    edited April 2015
    Id be tempted to demonstrate just how much muscle ive gained by trowing a punch to their face.

    Okay for a more serious reply id just tell him to **** off.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
    Hmmmm, wonder if she is related to my family member that asked when I was going to get out of the military and get a "real job".

    Anyways.....be happy with the progress you are making on YOUR journey. I would also tell her if it's not affecting her in any ways, then it's none of her business!
  • branflakes1980
    branflakes1980 Posts: 2,516 Member
    emmydoodles83 wrote: »
    I'd turn the conversation back onto the real problem

    " I think the more immediate issue here is why you have an unnatural need to make others feel bad about trying to do good things for themselves that has nothing to do with you ,this can stem from an insecurity, I would really like to help you become a better more caring person so you don't become a negative influence on my children and the others around you. So let's discuss"

    But say it in a very nice way of course :wink:

    FOR THE WIN!!! This is so much awesome!

  • Rubie81
    Rubie81 Posts: 720 Member
    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    I would tell her it's not any of her business, nor is it her money being spent.
    THIS. Exactly this.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    Simply say i maintain myself and my stress through my work outs. thanks for asking.
  • dbienz
    dbienz Posts: 188 Member
    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    I would tell her it's not any of her business, nor is it her money being spent.

    ^^ This
  • Tab122377
    Tab122377 Posts: 81 Member
    I do this for me I feel better just cause you can't see my results I know there there. If you think waste of money you should come with me see if you can keep up.
  • punkuate
    punkuate Posts: 127 Member
    HumboldtFred wrote: »
    Ask her if she brushes her teeth. When she says "Yes" just stare at her a long time then say Why?

    I love that!

  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Got to love our in-laws.. Do not know how long you have had an in-law and it will either get better or not..

    Personally when you decide to stop caring about what they say or do, it will get better.
  • New2Keto
    New2Keto Posts: 6 Member
    I would just ignore her comments (she is just being nasty and petty anyway) and smile in the knowledge that you are doing something positive for both your body and your mind - thats right, there's a lot to be said for regular physical exercise as an aid to maintaining good mental health and even helping to ease anxiety and/or depression.

    And dont worry about your overall weight not changing - if you are able to lift heavier weights over time then you ARE getting stronger = gaining more muscle = you have lost even more fat = WIN - GO YOU GOOD THING! B)
  • zanne54
    zanne54 Posts: 336 Member
    Depending on my mood and relationship with that particular in-law, my response could go one of two ways. Sarcastic or calling her out.

    Because the bar is too full of drunks.

    Call over my spouse: "Honey, come here you won't believe what your mother just said. MIL, could you repeat that please?"

    But then I don't tend to tolerate nasty, judgmental people in the first place.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    edited April 2015
    ccam99 wrote: »
    So yesterday my in-law questioned why I go to the gym since she sees no physical results in my appearance. I work out 3 times a week but have been in a mental rut and have not changed my eating so my appearance has not changed much. I do have an increase in muscle strength and and gaining improvement in my recovery rates. Working my heart and lungs, etc. She thinks it's doing nothing and that I'm only there for the social aspect. I get in and get out so I'm not standing around socializing but I do like the people I work out with or around at the gym and enjoy their company. She still thinks I am wasting my money and was pretty negative regarding my appearance. I told her I am gaining benefits that you can not see outwardly but she wouldn't agree. How would you respond?


    and.... when was the last time you went to the gym? would have been my response. if you feel good then it's working and that's what matters not what someone else with a stupid opinion thinks or comments.

    edited to add: then you could end with please pass the cake and the chuck it in the direction of your in law.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    ccam99 wrote: »
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    ccam99 wrote: »
    So yesterday my in-law questioned why I go to the gym since she sees no physical results in my appearance. I work out 3 times a week but have been in a mental rut and have not changed my eating so my appearance has not changed much. I do have an increase in muscle strength and and gaining improvement in my recovery rates. Working my heart and lungs, etc. She thinks it's doing nothing and that I'm only there for the social aspect. I get in and get out so I'm not standing around socializing but I do like the people I work out with or around at the gym and enjoy their company. She still thinks I am wasting my money and was pretty negative regarding my appearance. I told her I am gaining benefits that you can not see outwardly but she wouldn't agree. How would you respond?


    you're probably still wearing all your old clothes right??

    Yes and I think you are right there also. As I get in better shape I should dress to show it. Thanks

    before your next visit with your MIL i would treat myself to a BANGING outfit that shows off your hard work at the gym. fyi we may have the same MIL. lol!
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    I agree with the poster who said you shouldn't even engage her in a debate, because that implies that her opinion matters and that she has some kind of say in what you do. Just stare at her for a minute and then say, "Umm...yeah....anyway...." and change the subject.

    If my MIL ever spoke to me the way yours did, I wouldn't go running to my husband telling him what happened. BUT...if he were in earshot when it was said, I know he would step in and say something without me having to ask him to. My MIL & I have a good relationship now but when DH & I were getting married she took a few shots at me and DH let her know right then and there that he would have none of it.
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