You aren't always going to get support
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Gotcha!!! all of you.....you make the point. He not doing it deliberately but out of something else......even if I tell him not to.....like 'oh no, you mustn't. truly, you mustn't...oh go on then........if you must!'
NomNomNomNom.......your fault I am fat!
Ps. Have to say, I get more treats when I say I am on a 'diet'......
what!!??? I have No idea what it is you're trying to say :huh:
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christinev297 wrote: »Gotcha!!! all of you.....you make the point. He not doing it deliberately but out of something else......even if I tell him not to.....like 'oh no, you mustn't. truly, you mustn't...oh go on then........if you must!'
NomNomNomNom.......your fault I am fat!
Ps. Have to say, I get more treats when I say I am on a 'diet'......
what!!??? I have No idea what it is you're trying to say :huh:
She's describing the progression of the conversation when she turns down the treats. He keeps insisting she has them and it wears her down to the point that she eats it. And then blames him for being fat. Said exchange and feeding appears to happen more when she makes it known that she's on a diet hence it seems to work best to just hide this fact...
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I say a MAJOR talk to is in order. And I guess maybe reassure him about your boobs? Boobs seem to matter to a lot of people.1
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Actually I find that refreshing. Support from family and friends can be stifling, can make you feel like you're doing it for them, not you, and can make you feel self conscious. Just do it for you, and maybe they'll notice or comment, maybe they won't, but it's up to them to live their own lives and up to you to do what's right for yours.
This is how I feel too. My friends and family are great, and if I asked them for a pep talk, they would try to help me. But I don't usually do that, I like that they trust in me to do what's good for myself, and don't interfere too much. When I feel like I'm struggling, I am more likely to turn to MFP... some people will offer emotional support, some will offer good advice, some will offer a blunt wake-up call, and usually somewhere in the mix of all this, I find what I need :-)1 -
I don't expect them to care or be supportive, but I do get tired of "friends" and family who persist in efforts to derail my diet - you can have just one, baby, - or forget about the diet for one night...
It is also hard to be in a household of people who don't give a flip about how much goes in their mouth or what, and I happen to be the cook. I often end up preparing a separate meal for me and try to ignore the smells of temptation! If anything, it does get me to grit my teeth and be more determined than ever.
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Cooking separate meals is probably where I'd draw the line. We all eat the same thing. It's just that now my serving sizes are alot smaller than they used to be3
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Wow, I'm so sorry to hear so many people to not get support from the people around them. I guess that is the magic of MFP right? It also makes me that much more appreciative of my own better half for being so interested and supportive in my weight loss goals. I tend to get annoyed when he gives me that look when I reach for the bread or asks me how I'm doing with my calorie totals before doing a Menchies run... And it is still annoying but it also shows he cares.1
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You probably don't have to make that much a different of a meal. Maybe supply it more with vegetables, salad, etc. but just take a bit of the main course you make for the family.I don't expect them to care or be supportive, but I do get tired of "friends" and family who persist in efforts to derail my diet - you can have just one, baby, - or forget about the diet for one night...
It is also hard to be in a household of people who don't give a flip about how much goes in their mouth or what, and I happen to be the cook. I often end up preparing a separate meal for me and try to ignore the smells of temptation! If anything, it does get me to grit my teeth and be more determined than ever.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I don't expect them to care or be supportive, but I do get tired of "friends" and family who persist in efforts to derail my diet - you can have just one, baby, - or forget about the diet for one night...
It is also hard to be in a household of people who don't give a flip about how much goes in their mouth or what, and I happen to be the cook. I often end up preparing a separate meal for me and try to ignore the smells of temptation! If anything, it does get me to grit my teeth and be more determined than ever.
Maybe make a healthy meal suitable for everyone and tell them if they want something else to make it themselves!
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ogmomma2012 wrote: »I don't expect them to care or be supportive, but I do get tired of "friends" and family who persist in efforts to derail my diet - you can have just one, baby, - or forget about the diet for one night...
It is also hard to be in a household of people who don't give a flip about how much goes in their mouth or what, and I happen to be the cook. I often end up preparing a separate meal for me and try to ignore the smells of temptation! If anything, it does get me to grit my teeth and be more determined than ever.
Maybe make a healthy meal suitable for everyone and tell them if they want something else to make it themselves!
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Or better yet, let them know about the nearest restaurants down the street. Compromise does have to happen when it comes to food (it's the one thing that ALL of us need) and it can't be all one sided. I've made stuff that my DD thought, "Ew dad, that doesn't look that tasty." (she's 10), but I let her know that if she doesn't want it, she's more than welcome to not eat. It doesn't last very long. She's now learned that stuff that doesn't look that good, still tastes great. She wasn't sure about sushi either, but now she ALWAYS wants to go out and eat it.ogmomma2012 wrote: »I don't expect them to care or be supportive, but I do get tired of "friends" and family who persist in efforts to derail my diet - you can have just one, baby, - or forget about the diet for one night...
It is also hard to be in a household of people who don't give a flip about how much goes in their mouth or what, and I happen to be the cook. I often end up preparing a separate meal for me and try to ignore the smells of temptation! If anything, it does get me to grit my teeth and be more determined than ever.
Maybe make a healthy meal suitable for everyone and tell them if they want something else to make it themselves!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Are you telling me they might be sabotaging me?! :noway:0
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You can find people who care, if you need them, because they are on the same quest and band together (online or in person) to support each other. Some people are really good self starters and self motivators... I am. Some people, like my husband, really need the social support to stick with a difficult program. I provide the support here at home, and we've got a friend in the Army who went through the hard work to reshape his body and is a really good pal for him and a good example. People have different psychological make-up; I believe that anyone can find a way once they understand themselves in this way.3
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My husband is super supportive of my weightloss journey as he is into fitness and health, and my daughter who is nearly 14 is a vegetarian (who eats seafood) and she is supportive too. I do however need to motivate myself and surround myself with motivated people.0
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Yes, you can find people that have the same interests and goals. You can also find groups that are a very positive influence.You can find people who care, if you need them, because they are on the same quest and band together (online or in person) to support each other. Some people are really good self starters and self motivators... I am. Some people, like my husband, really need the social support to stick with a difficult program. I provide the support here at home, and we've got a friend in the Army who went through the hard work to reshape his body and is a really good pal for him and a good example. People have different psychological make-up; I believe that anyone can find a way once they understand themselves in this way.
Just saying that sometimes, the people that you care about the most, may not have any interest in your endeavor or weight loss. And that shouldn't be saddening or a reason to give up or quit.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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You can find people who care, if you need them, because they are on the same quest and band together (online or in person) to support each other. Some people are really good self starters and self motivators... I am. Some people, like my husband, really need the social support to stick with a difficult program. I provide the support here at home, and we've got a friend in the Army who went through the hard work to reshape his body and is a really good pal for him and a good example. People have different psychological make-up; I believe that anyone can find a way once they understand themselves in this way.
Yup!0 -
Yes, you can find people that have the same interests and goals. You can also find groups that are a very positive influence.You can find people who care, if you need them, because they are on the same quest and band together (online or in person) to support each other. Some people are really good self starters and self motivators... I am. Some people, like my husband, really need the social support to stick with a difficult program. I provide the support here at home, and we've got a friend in the Army who went through the hard work to reshape his body and is a really good pal for him and a good example. People have different psychological make-up; I believe that anyone can find a way once they understand themselves in this way.
Just saying that sometimes, the people that you care about the most, may not have any interest in your endeavor or weight loss. And that shouldn't be saddening or a reason to give up or quit.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Family is often the last group of people you should look to for support in making changes lol. If they are set in their ways, they won't even understand. I think they sometimes attempt to sabotage fitness attempts because some part of them believes that you will become a different person, not the same old son/daughter/etc they have known all these years. The change scares them so they try to get in the way of it. Therefore, if you are a person who needs social support when making changes, there's a good chance you'll need to meet new people for the purpose.
I am very grateful that my husband appreciates my improved fitness and is on board with lower cal/higher nutrition cooking. At first he was concerned that our food would be unsatisfying and crappy tasting, but it didn't take me long to dispel that notion. I am a good cook.
I've introduced new flavors (and methods) that taste even better and provide more satiety than our previous foods. If hubby were a hide bound meat and potatoes, veggie hating guy, then each of us would have to cook our own stuff separately. I could do it, but it would kind of suck. My ex was absolutely not on board with any health improving behaviors. He's off by himself now eating icky things and looking much older than his real age while Phil and I get healthier. *laughs* But now I am kind of off topic.
I primarily get *my* motivation out of the mirror and closet. Secondarily I enjoy feeling better and not having all that leg chafing and foot pain and all those aggravations. The blood sugar thing entered the game a bit later. It will certainly be an important reason not to backslide.2 -
I don't expect them to care or be supportive, but I do get tired of "friends" and family who persist in efforts to derail my diet - you can have just one, baby, - or forget about the diet for one night...
It is also hard to be in a household of people who don't give a flip about how much goes in their mouth or what, and I happen to be the cook. I often end up preparing a separate meal for me and try to ignore the smells of temptation! If anything, it does get me to grit my teeth and be more determined than ever.
You're a better person than me I refuse to make more than one meal for my household. Some nights our dinners are healthier than others. On the nights that they aren't I just eat a smaller portion or I make extra side veggies for it.
In general I don't look for motivation in other people or support from others IRL. All of my family is over weight and so is my husbands. Any time I eat better and bring it up or mention weight loss they instantly call it a diet and get a tone and make remarks if I turn down junk foods at their homes or fast food.
I don't bring up what I'm trying to do anymore. Also my husband isn't supportive. I don't expect support in the form of him not eating certain foods or constantly being my cheerleader. But he makes remarks about my weight or progress when hes mad at me and its just not ok. I'd rather everyone bury their heads in the sand and pretend I'm not losing.
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shawnaes91 wrote: »You're a better person than me I refuse to make more than one meal for my household. Some nights our dinners are healthier than others. On the nights that they aren't I just eat a smaller portion or I make extra side veggies for it.
In general I don't look for motivation in other people or support from others IRL. All of my family is over weight and so is my husbands. Any time I eat better and bring it up or mention weight loss they instantly call it a diet and get a tone and make remarks if I turn down junk foods at their homes or fast food.
I don't bring up what I'm trying to do anymore. Also my husband isn't supportive. I don't expect support in the form of him not eating certain foods or constantly being my cheerleader. But he makes remarks about my weight or progress when hes mad at me and its just not ok. I'd rather everyone bury their heads in the sand and pretend I'm not losing.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. My ex-husband was constantly trying to make me gain weight so that I would look like him and his family. Little did he know that quitting smoking ultimately did it (this happened five years after our divorce). But now I'm finally losing weight and thank goodness he's not anywhere near!1
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