Do men notice?

lawdhelpme2
lawdhelpme2 Posts: 149
edited September 27 in Success Stories
Wondering do men notice weight loss on women? I have gotten a lot of responses from women saying< Hey I see you slimming down but as for the men, not really getting that many compliments including my husband.
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Replies

  • bethrs
    bethrs Posts: 664 Member
    I think they do not. I don't think it's that they don't notice, but I think some men struggle with details so while your DH probably notices you looking healthier and more radiant he may not be able to put his finger on why- and some other guys are afraid to comment because it could be taken as an insult to your former self (meaning you used to be heavy.)
  • cghiggins518
    cghiggins518 Posts: 48 Member
    I think its hard for a husband and wife to notice any difference since they see so much of each other. I have noticed it was people who I have not seen in some time that give the compliments.
  • basschick38
    basschick38 Posts: 12
    That is a good question and I sometimes don't think they do! When my husband and I first started dating I weighed around 155 lbs. while he was away for a 3-week training session for work, I joined Nutrisystem and dropped 20 lbs during those 3 weeks. Did he notice when he returned? Nope! Didn't have a clue. Meanwhile, everyone at work, all my girlfriends all gave me jaw-dropping responses to my weight loss. Oh well, I guess he loved me either way.
  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
    YES!! I've got 22 pounds (at goal weight!!!) and every man I work with has commented. My husband more than anyone. My brother, Dad and cousin commented as well. So yes, they do! Suprisingly.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
    Are men allowed to notice? I've seen many threads on here where the women berate men for being so shallow as to give a woman more attention when they get thinner.

    I agree with cghiggins, it's harder for husbands to notice.

    But men out in our normal social lives, in this day and age, if they're smart, they don't notice.
  • aaddaammggoolleeaaffss
    aaddaammggoolleeaaffss Posts: 230
    We do, I just think at times weight is a bit of a touchy subject and guys don't come out and say it
  • emiliabeth
    emiliabeth Posts: 40
    I asked my husband about this once - he said he does notice if a woman loses weight, but he never says anything cos he doesn't want to sound like he's coming on to her. He says the only thing he'll say is 'You're looking very snazzy' because it's the only thing he can think of that doesn't sound like a come on :D

    With me, he very occasionally mentions that I 'feel firmer' when he hugs me, but he doesn't usually comment that I look skinnier...
  • bethrs
    bethrs Posts: 664 Member
    We do, I just think at times weight is a bit of a touchy subject and guys don't come out and say it

    My second point exactly.
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    Women look and study other women more, it's in our make-up (not necessarily biological but I couldn’t think of a better word) to be more competitive on goals/standards portrayed by the media. Men look at women's bodies for the overall package or good attributes but they won't notice a bra strap roll of fat like another woman would.
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    I totally think they notice, it's just not socially acceptable to comment.

    My BF, for example. Doesn't comment when I gain, doesn't comment when I lose. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

    I also think they don't care as much as we do - to them, it's just another descriptor like "She's tall."
  • bigalfantasy2004
    bigalfantasy2004 Posts: 176 Member
    I notice when my wife loses weight, and I compliment her all the time. I guess it all depends the man and how often they see you. If it's gradual, it might not be as noticeable as someone who hasn't seen you in a while.
  • AceH826
    AceH826 Posts: 19 Member
    My husband said they're too scared to because they're afraid we will take it the wrong way.

    He says: "You look great!"

    He's afraid you'll hear: "You look great, now, (but didn't before)"
  • elzettel
    elzettel Posts: 256
    Yes and no...in my opinion. I'm down about 18lbs and I think my husband responds more to my improved self confidence than to my appearance.
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    I think its hard for a husband and wife to notice any difference since they see so much of each other. I have noticed it was people who I have not seen in some time that give the compliments.

    I so agree with this. My husband says he doesn't notice the 97lbs loss I've had, lol, as crazy as that sounds, but I took 3 yrs to lose it and he's seen me almost everyday. He is just as shocked as anyone when I show him before pics. He says he forgets what I used to look like. It's understandable. I can't go back 3 yrs and remember what he looked like at that time.
  • MayhemModels
    MayhemModels Posts: 367 Member
    Me being a bikini/fitness model photographer I notice when someone i know drops weight
  • avassos
    avassos Posts: 12
    my finance comments on my loss (even if I haven't lost any), but he does it because he knows I'm trying really hard and wants to support me. It's funny he always follows up the comment, with I don't think you need to lose any I love you for you........It's nice to feel the support but I know if I choose to stop at any weight he will be happy. He worries that I will lose all my meat on my bones and become too skinny...... but other men don't notice or if they do they don't comment..... men aren't that observant generally
  • rfcollins33
    rfcollins33 Posts: 630
    We do, I just think at times weight is a bit of a touchy subject and guys don't come out and say it


    THAT is my thoughts on this......
  • netsirk419
    netsirk419 Posts: 30 Member
    Lol...my ex once told me that he did notice things but then didn't mention them because he didn't know if he should have noticed sooner. Example: I dyed my hair and he noticed the next morning but didn't mention it just in case I did it weeks before and it took him all that time to notice. I think men know weight is a VERY sensitive topic and just steer clear of it, gain or loss.
  • NightOwl1
    NightOwl1 Posts: 881 Member
    Yes, we definitely notice. I think we usually refrain from complimenting because we're worried it can be turned into a "OH, SO YOU THOUGHT I WAS FAT BEFORE?????" moment that we try to avoid.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    They absolutely do. I work in a convenience store, and customers come in daily for coffee and such. I remember them and we chat every day. The ladies I see have said nothing in the past 5 months of my weight loss. The men have hooted and hinted and said the kindest things to me, almost every day now.

    Maybe because I am just the cashier kinda relationship that they feel more open about it, I imagine if I were a co-worker they might think twice, or a family member. You don't want to say 'Nice you've lost weight!' for fear of insinuating that the person was fatter to begin with. (which of course, we were! but we don't want to hear it, I guess is the consensus)

    My boyfriend tells me every week how he is enjoying the smaller me.
  • sctracy
    sctracy Posts: 41 Member
    I think they do not. I don't think it's that they don't notice, but I think some men struggle with details so while your DH probably notices you looking healthier and more radiant he may not be able to put his finger on why- and some other guys are afraid to comment because it could be taken as an insult to your former self (meaning you used to be heavy.)


    This is probably very true! After seeing my best friend's husband for the first time in about a month, I got a text, saying:

    Men are so funny. As soon as you left, Matt said, "Shannon looks great; she lost a lot of weight! I didn't know if it was OK to say anything."

    That said, my own husband has noticed from the very beginning, or he'd be in trouble :)
  • runninginplace
    runninginplace Posts: 42 Member
    We are way too scared to comment about your weight. Dangerous ground either way.
  • InfamousQ
    InfamousQ Posts: 266 Member
    We do, I just think at times weight is a bit of a touchy subject and guys don't come out and say it

    I have to agree. That is a very touchy subject for some women so some times it is best not to say anything at all...unless they ask....
  • moyafigura
    moyafigura Posts: 140 Member
    I actually got a comment from my husband first (he is the type that tells you how it is even if its not easy to hear sometimes), and nobody else yet.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I think it depends on the man. But in general, I've found men either don't notice or don't feel comfortable saying something. *shrug*
  • Grneydirshlass74
    Grneydirshlass74 Posts: 11
    We do, I just think at times weight is a bit of a touchy subject and guys don't come out and say it

    My second point exactly.

    I work in an office full of men and they definitely notice when I lose weight. Some of them are awkward with mentioning it and some just stick to the "You look great!" type of compliment. I've been in the same office for 6 1/2 years, so we all know I'm not going to think they're hitting on me when they say it, nor will I be offended because we all know each other well enough for it to be okay. But I totally agree with the two above who say it's a touchy subject for most men to broach. Kudos to them for trying so hard to not offend but wish we could just appreciate their compliments without turning them into something more sometimes. It would make both sides feel better! :) (Hoping that came out right!)
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
    Of course we do, but we've been conditioned not to make comments because we never, ever know how a woman will react. Sometimes it will be met with a "Thanks!" whereas other times women may take offence and be mad because if you mention they've lost weight you must be saying they are/were fat..... sigh.



    Just last night my wife was complaining about her weight loss progress and my friend that was over told me today that he notices it (hadn't seen her in about 6 weeks) but figured it was best not to say anything so as not to insinuate that she was fat to begin with....again.....sigh
  • alynnbennett
    alynnbennett Posts: 182
    I think they do, I just don't think they want to say anything in fear that we might get upset because lets face when it comes to weight with us its a very fine line. My boyfriend tells me that I look like I've lost weight and that I'm doing great but he also knows that I don't mind him commenting because he sees how hard I work for my weight loss. Some men are different I guess. As long as you know you've lost weight and you feel great than thats a huge plus!
  • kenzietea
    kenzietea Posts: 614 Member
    Not always- It's biologically proven that ALL people notice even micro changes in the face, but are not programed to see changes in the body unless they are really dramatic. On that note, men, especially a spouse, is less likely to notice any change in weight unless it is too, really dramatic. I have lost almost 30 lbs in a fairly short amount of time- and just like science says- my boyfriend has really only seen changes in my face. He also knows weight is a sensitive subject. Oh- and I read an article its also because men don't care near as much as women when it comes to weight in general-especially regarding 20+ or - pounds. Meaning 20 lbs lighter or heavier most men don't really care or notice. Of course if you are 4'6" and 20 lbs heavier I am sure thats a different story, I believe the article was geared more towards average height women although it did not really specify :)
  • femmerides
    femmerides Posts: 843 Member
    when they see you every day it's hard to notice. i lost 70lbs in 3 months in 2007 and the only reason my husband noticed was because i put on an outfit from our dating days and surprised him. lol. but he hadn't noticed before that moment. lol
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