Mother shamed for sending her child to school with oreos
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I was always embarrassed by my school lunches growing up... my parents didn't have a lot of money so my lunches were always very economical. I never got individual pre-packaged serving sizes of chips, granola bars, cookies, juice boxes, fruit snack, etc. I remember wanting those crackers and peanut butter snacks (I think they were called Ritz bits or something) and my mom offered to make some for my lunch with generic crackers and peanut butter - ugh. lol - I was so ungrateful!
So I buy that stuff for my daughter's lunches. She gets a half sandwich (pb&jelly), a fruit juice box, a yogurt (usually go-gurt), some type of fresh fruit, and a treat (a bag of chips, a granola bar, or a little bag of fruit snacks). She knows that if the sandwich doesn't get eaten, I won't pack a treat since I must be packing too large of a lunch if she's too full after eating her treat before her sandwich... I only had to do that once
I also have never packed a vegetable in my daughter's lunch! Unless you count cherry tomatoes, but she eats them like grapes so I consider it the fruit part of her lunch.
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entropypsycho wrote: »Seriously good points. They should be treats, not every day part of a meal
When our kids were younger we'd never have sent them with Oreos, nor even had them in the house, because it was well understood that they were full of transfats at the time.
These early formative years are very important to child development and building good life long habits. Schools and other local or regional government health organizations are quite right to put out messages supporting good nutrition for children.
As parents active in the school for many years we know for a fact many children in this relatively affluent area of our city often arrive at school with poor lunch choices not only on occasion but on a regular basis.
It isn't preachy or rude or "nanny state" to make the accurate observation that some parents need nutrition education. This is, after all, a site focussed on helping people improve their nutritional choices. Clearly many need assistance, do we all agree?
Probably this is what the school in question was attempting to do, but they may have been ham-handed in delivering the message, or the parent + news organization reporting the story may have torqued it up because such things draw eyeballs.
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entropypsycho wrote: »Seriously good points. They should be treats, not every day part of a meal
When our kids were younger we'd never have sent them with Oreos, nor even had them in the house, because it was well understood that they were full of transfats at the time.
These early formative years are very important to child development and building good life long habits. Schools and other local or regional government health organizations are quite right to put out messages supporting good nutrition for children.
As parents active in the school for many years we know for a fact many children in this relatively affluent area of our city often arrive at school with poor lunch choices not only on occasion but on a regular basis.
It isn't preachy or rude or "nanny state" to make the accurate observation that some parents need nutrition education. This is, after all, a site focussed on helping people improve their nutritional choices. Clearly many need assistance, do we all agree?
Probably this is what the school in question was attempting to do, but they may have been ham-handed in delivering the message, or the parent + news organization reporting the story may have torqued it up because such things draw eyeballs.
I will have to disagree. You have no idea what another parent is dealing with.0 -
As long as that's not ALL that's in the kid's lunch... suppose there is a ham and cheese, carrot sticks, apple, and oreos. that would be fine. If that's all the kid got only then would I consider saying anything!0
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AlabasterVerve wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »AlabasterVerve wrote: »I'm glad I'm not a parent. I wouldn't be able to stand it and would end up having to home school.
I'm glad we home school. This is all insane.
Good for you! When I was growing up home schooling was seen as something weird but more and more it seems like the only sensible solution.
I was homeschooled all the way through and yeah-it was very weird back in the day lol. A lot has changed in the last 30 years 0 -
I will have to disagree. You have no idea what another parent is dealing with.
Disagree with what? I made more than one point.
Parents send their children to school all the time with poor lunches, for various reasons. Some - it's education. Some - it's cultural. Some - it's poverty, even in relatively affluent areas -- we have a number of such families we work to arrange support for yet still some slip through the cracks. Some - it's just the way the parents eat (education again).
What's the right approach? Ignore the problem completely? *That* I disagree with.
I should underscore that I'm commenting less on this individual parent/child/school situation and more on whether it's appropriate for schools / and other parent-facing organizations to communicate nutrition values back to the homes of children. I think it is appropriate and it seems self-evident by expanding waistlines in many western societies that parental education is necessary.
Not that I'm on a holier than thou sandbox, really I am not. We fed our kids properly, but I didn't feed myself properly. Oh sure, it was "healthy" food, just too much of it in my case.0 -
Why is this even news.
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GreenIceFloes wrote: »Why is this even news.
Because it's easy to generate !outrage! among some? Click-bait.
Or... queue sinister music... the entire thing was staged by Oreo as part of a new guerilla marketing program.
Or... full moon coming? A-wooooooo!
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Or... full moon coming? A-wooooooo!
This would make for way better news.0 -
Seems a bit dramatic. I see nothing wrong with a little treat for a child to look forward to. If you are sending them with a whole sleeve of cookies, well that's a different story.0
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I haven't seen that this was a rule? I thought the consensus was that it wasn't a rule. Is there an article that says it was a rule?
One article says the school doesn't tell parents what to feed their kids, but this child is there through a state run program bound by federal regulations. The school could say kids could eat horse for lunch, wouldn't change the rules for the ones who are there as overflow from the public program.
The first version of the article I saw, which I can't find now for the life of me, said that she had sent items on the "banned" list throughout the year and had never heard a word about it until now. She also felt the policy was confusing because the parents had been asked to send in things like candy for class parties.
Personally, the note isn't the issue to me. Sending someone a form note about a school policy is no big deal. The part that bothered me was taking away a portion of the child's lunch, replacement food or not. That seemed unnecessary and the adults could have easily communicated without involving the child. An adult doing something like that would've sent my kid into a tantrum.
And that's the part that's actually more common these days. Mom sites and blogs are filled with arguments about someone's kid getting their dessert taken away, or the school saying the lunch a parent sent wasn't good enough. A lot of times, it's not as controversial as oreos, and more about parents with picky kids who send something like meat and cheese with no bread, which gets confiscated and substituted with a sandwich on bread their kid won't eat, because bread.
Schools can lose funding now if lunches aren't up to standards, and some are more zealous than others about enforcing it. Presumably the extremes are the schools either desperate for money or with a lot of bored, rich granola touting moms in the PTA.
LOL that Oreos are controversial. The only controversy I can think of from when I was a kid was whether or not to dunk them, and whether or not you ate them whole or ate the filling first...
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YayFoodYayFood wrote: »I'm actually curious as to why they singled out the Oreos... there's not much in that lunch bag that my family or I would eat.
Didn't it say that the kid's lunch also included a sandwich and cheese? What's wrong with either of those?0 -
My (now 17 & 19) daughters always took lunch from home because the school lunches were crap. If I want to put a cookie or a treat in my child's lunch then that is my right! I would've gone off on that teacher. She's lucky she doesn't have me to deal with! I am really annoyed by this whole oreo cookie thing...its a COOKIE! The kid wasn't bringing meth in her lunch. SMH0
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The mother knew the school had certain nutritional guideliness.
She chose not to comply.
Her failure to adhere to the schools rules was brought to her attention via a NOTE.
Where exactly is the traumatizing shaming?
She was aware of the rules and she chose not to follow them. And she is appalled and ashamed because her actions had a consequence.
She chose to put her child in a school that has guideliness. If she objects to the school's guideliness and requirements; maybe she should consider another school.
How are teachers supposed to teach kids about actions and consequences when parents feel that rules don't apply to them?
If you want to give your kids Oreos, fine.
If you want to pack them a lunch with Oreos, make sure the school doesn't have rules against them.
If you are really attached to the Oreos and your "freedom of food" is very important to you, then do not send your kid to a school that put limits and guideliness.
And last, iif it's brought to your attention that you broke a rule, take SOME personal responsibility!!!! For effs sake!!!0 -
No, they did not send out nutritional guidelines to the families, and had allowed foods on the "banned" list to be brought to school over the course of the entire year with no mention of policy.beachhouse758 wrote: »The mother knew the school had certain nutritional guidelines.
She chose not to comply.
Taking away the child's food and involving the child when it should have been kept between adults.Her failure to adhere to the schools rules was brought to her attention via a NOTE.
Where exactly is the traumatizing shaming?
Again, she didn't know, and the school was sending mixed messages by requesting candy for class treats.She was aware of the rules and she chose not to follow them. And she is appalled and ashamed because her actions had a consequence.
Her child is enrolled in the public school system.She chose to put her child in a school that has guideliness. If she objects to the school's guideliness and requirements; maybe she should consider another school.
How are parents supposed to follow the rules if they are never shared with them (or even if those are the rules, since the school system itself is disputing how the teacher handled things), and how is taking food away from a child teaching the child anything? The preschooler didn't pack her lunch and isn't responsible for the contents.How are teachers supposed to teach kids about actions and consequences when parents feel that rules don't apply to them?0 -
lisafrancis888 wrote: »As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
you're joking right?
The first part I apologised it wasn't quite what I meant. I meant more if we run out of one thing I wish we wouldn't substitute with biscuits etc.
the second part I totally meant but I realise we all have differing opinions.
Again not blaming parents actually want schools to take more of a stance. Again we may differ with this.
I will leave it there I truly didn't want to upset anyone and my opinion is no more valid than anybody else's.
You've never run out of a food and substituted something else?
I ran out of chicken last night- so I had black beans today for my protein.
how dare me. I've run out of TP before to- guess what- had to go out of my way to go get some, but that's one of those things ya goottttaaa have.
When I grew up- I lived 30 miles from civilization- we only went to the store 1x a week. if we ran out of something mid week- tough titties.0 -
She should be a better Mother and just send her child to school with no lunch, as so many parents do. School lunches are so much more nutritious.
Just another reason to homeschool kids.
This school would get a huge letter from me, but it would be laughed at, from an "obese" Mother who obviously has no clue about diet or nutrition.0 -
No, they did not send out nutritional guidelines to the families, and had allowed foods on the "banned" list to be brought to school over the course of the entire year with no mention of policy.beachhouse758 wrote: »The mother knew the school had certain nutritional guidelines.
She chose not to comply.
Taking away the child's food and involving the child when it should have been kept between adults.Her failure to adhere to the schools rules was brought to her attention via a NOTE.
Where exactly is the traumatizing shaming?
Again, she didn't know, and the school was sending mixed messages by requesting candy for class treats.She was aware of the rules and she chose not to follow them. And she is appalled and ashamed because her actions had a consequence.
Her child is enrolled in the public school system.She chose to put her child in a school that has guideliness. If she objects to the school's guideliness and requirements; maybe she should consider another school.
How are parents supposed to follow the rules if they are never shared with them (or even if those are the rules, since the school system itself is disputing how the teacher handled things), and how is taking food away from a child teaching the child anything? The preschooler didn't pack her lunch and isn't responsible for the contents.How are teachers supposed to teach kids about actions and consequences when parents feel that rules don't apply to them?
From the articles I read, it never said the mother didn't know about the nutritional guidelines. In one article, she was quoted as saying that she ran out of fresh fruits and vegetables earlier in the week and another article she was quoted as saying that it should be between her and her daughter and daughter's doctor what her daughter eats.
I find it hard to believe that her daughter was enrolled in this private preschool as part of a public assistance program (which is what was indicated in articles I read) and she was not given an information packet. Every school my children have attended both private preschool and public elementary school, I receive an information packet at the beginning of the year. It is on me as the parent to read the information provided and follow the rules. Ignorance of the rules does not mean that they don't exist.
While I know the Oreos were included in the daughter's lunchbag, several reports have indicated that they were taken away as her snack. Whether it was at lunch time or snack time, if there's a policy in place, they can't let one kid break the rules just because their parent claims ignorance or else you're getting in to discrimination territory there. In my DDs school, kids have been told they can't eat their brought snack (from fruit snacks to Pop Tarts) because they aren't allowed and have been told they can't drink their soda at lunch. We were advised of allowed snacks at the beginning of the school year. The teacher didn't shame the girl and tell her she'll get fat or anything like that, she said you can't have those Oreos, have something else. That's no different than if a child is wearing a top that violates school dress code and a teacher says you can't wear that shirt, go to the nurse's office and borrow another shirt. If I sent my daughter to school in an inappropriate shirt (which I almost did a couple of years ago because I wasn't aware of the rule against spaghetti straps but luckily my daughter was) and she was told to change and/or a note was sent home, I would not run to the media and scream that my daughter or I was being clothing shamed.
I find it interesting that the mother was quoted as saying "she's not overweight by any means...". Okay, so it would be okay to say no Oreos for you, you're a bit tubby? THAT would be an incident of shaming.
I found this Colorado deparment of Education's website:
"The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010 (HHFKA) requires all local educational agencies (LEAs) participating in federal Child Nutrition programs to establish and implement, for all schools under its jurisdiction, local school wellness policies that meet minimum standards designed to promote sound nutrition, student health, reduce childhood obesity, and provide transparency to the public on the school nutrition environment. This website is dedicated to helping local educational agencies find the resources they need to meet recommendations in these areas. - See more at: https://www.cde.state.co.us/nutrition/nutriwellness#sthash.sUcW43R6.dpuf"
This is similar to a statment that has been sent home by my DDs school each of the year's she's gone to school there. The notice says what the rules are for snacks and what's not allowed in lunches and says that because the school participates in programs to help feed families that need assistance, they follow these guidelines. Even if mom didn't get a notice at the beginning of the school year, a note in the lunchbox informing mom of the policies is NOT LUNCH SHAMING! It is a reminder of the rules. How else is a person ignorant of the rules supposed to be informed of the rules if a notice isn't sent home? Should she be called to the school for a special meeting?0 -
beachhouse758 wrote: »The mother knew the school had certain nutritional guideliness.
She chose not to comply.
Her failure to adhere to the schools rules was brought to her attention via a NOTE.
Where exactly is the traumatizing shaming?
She was aware of the rules and she chose not to follow them. And she is appalled and ashamed because her actions had a consequence.
She chose to put her child in a school that has guideliness. If she objects to the school's guideliness and requirements; maybe she should consider another school.
How are teachers supposed to teach kids about actions and consequences when parents feel that rules don't apply to them?
If you want to give your kids Oreos, fine.
If you want to pack them a lunch with Oreos, make sure the school doesn't have rules against them.
If you are really attached to the Oreos and your "freedom of food" is very important to you, then do not send your kid to a school that put limits and guideliness.
And last, iif it's brought to your attention that you broke a rule, take SOME personal responsibility!!!! For effs sake!!!
Exactly. Everybody loves to be outraged and play the victim. While I don't necessarily agree with the policy, it's hardly the massive encroachment on freedom that people are making it out to be. Living in a society means there are going to be rules we all have to abide by, even the ones we don't agree with. If school is place you learn to be prepared for the "real world", you may as well learn that lesson right away.
We need only look at the obesity epidemic to realize that America eats too much crap. A glance at the MFP forums shows how wide spread misinformation about food and nutrition is out there. Educating children (and parents) about good nutrition seems like a completely reasonable function for a school in that light. If the kids are learning about good eating habits, is it really all that terrible to ask parents to be partners in education and reinforce those lessons at home and by choosing healthy foods for their kids' lunches?
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