Four bags of Oreos
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If I did that to my husband he would not be impressed not just because his snacks are gone but because I just took about 50$ (yes we have that much snack food in our house if not more) and burned it...what a waste...
I don't get this trying to control other adults...I mean I am a control freak and would never consider doing any of these things...
I'm a control freak too and yet, I'd never cross the line and treat my husband this way. I have too much respect for him as an individual.
That's the bottom line. There are respectful ways to deal with troublesome issues. Some of the suggestions in this thread are born from people's personal issues with the food being mentioned, not from a place of respect that should be between partners in a loving relationship.
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Carnivor0us wrote: »
No, not this. He's got a medical condition that does not allow eating those items regularly. Life isn't fair.
I stand corrected and you're right, diabetes does change the picture, but, it's still moderation--tight moderation of carbs in order to manage his diabetes.
I have diabetic friends and family members who have limited amounts of carbs, which sometimes include sweets, and they keep their blood sugar under control. That's the health issue part of it. For weight loss, though, it's calories in/calories out.
That said, I would think it's a dangerous slope for a diabetic to buy such an abundance of carby sweet gooey good stuff.
Finally, the OP's issue sounds like it's more that he didn't stick to his agreement than anything. OP, I'd be talking to my husband about this and clarifying the agreement and establishing some clear boundaries for yourself around it. You have every right to say something to him because (1) he's not sticking to your agreed upon plan and (2) you are concerned about his health. However, keep in mind you can't change him and he's going to make the ultimate decision regarding his health management. You just have to take care of you.
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This is an interesting perception and merely a projection of your own stuff.Chrysalid2014 wrote: »
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Some people appear to get very het up by others making a decision to quit junk food. Those people must feel very defensive and insecure about choosing to eat such things themselves.
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I've lost 80 pounds. I keep bringing home cookies, chocolate and ice cream. I just have them in moderation (the kids help though or I'd definitely bring home less cookies as there's no way I can eat a whole box before it gets stale).
I see your point though, my husband is always eating junk even though he's obese and has high blood pressure, and I really wish he would watch his diet. He did lose 10 pounds last year but regained it all since...0 -
Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
sorry that is a huge NO and is smack in the face to people with real drug addictions like heroin and crack cocaine...0 -
APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
OP, I do just want to say that my heart does go out to you with how incredibly hard this must be for you to watch happen. I can understand that you'd feel helpless, and even understand wanting to DO something.
It's a tough situation watching someone who NEEDS to change who won't do it.
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
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Wait, you said he's diabetic and he brought home all that stuff? Yeah, I'd stage an intervention or something.0
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
That isn't an article, it's a blog post based on quotes from those known to have a history of hyperbole about added sugar (like Lustig, who says sugar is "toxic" unless it's in fruit).0 -
I would handle that situation by not eating everything in one sitting. If he wants to eat those things, whether they fit into his calorie deficit or not, that's his business. It doesn't mean you have to eat it if it doesn't fit into your calorie goals. Only he can decide when he wants to make the effort to drop the weight, if ever.0
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
Ludwig AND Lustig.
Fructose pseudo-science meets GI nonsense. Cataclysm of nonsense blog post ensues.
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In to find later.
OT: My hubby has similar medical issues that I have - HBP, high cholesterol - but he also has arthritis which would be helped somewhat with weight loss. I've suggested food tracking which he tried, but didn't make it beyond week 2 of entering everything before giving up. Hubby's the type of person who hates being pushed, shoved, guilt-tripped, and nagged into doing things. He'll go goat-mode stubborn and refuse. I do what I can without being a giant PITA. I portion out his snacks and keep his chips on top of the fridge so he has to decide if getting up and walking to the kitchen is worth a snack. He eats what I cook except at work. I can't do anymore for him than what I am. He'll either get to the point where he's ready or he'll keep complaining about his arthritis pain and how he can't tie his shoes properly without having acid reflux because his big gut is in the way.
I'd go the talking route with your hubby. Maybe get him to slow down on the sweets (4 Oreos is better than 8; it's progress). To me, your story is saying he doesn't care about himself and just wants to eat what he wants even if it puts him in the hospital.0 -
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”0 -
@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.
My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.
I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.
I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.
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Chrysalid2014 wrote: »
Er... raw fruit is sweet..(?)
I read something yesterday about why fruit sugar is "better" than added sugar in other carbohydrate-loaded foods. Apparently the digestion of sugar requires certain micronutrients that are also delivered in fresh fruit. However, if you eat (for example) a candy bar, it doesn't contain any of the vitamins required to digest it, so essentially by eating the candy bar you're dipping into (depleting) your reserve of micronutrients.
So, the logic that you can get your day's nutrition and then spend any 'leftover' calories on junk without detriment to your health is somewhat flawed...
Vitamins required for digestion? Depletion of micronutrients for digestion? More than an entirely negligible amount?
:huh:
Are you sure about that? I'm not entirely certain the flawed logic is on the pro-"no bonus points for excess nutrition" side.0 -
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
Why?0 -
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...0 -
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APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
Just so you know, if you didn't discover it already, you will find a bunch of people here who say that there is no such thing as food addiction. Pay them no mind.
A person who has no self-control over food has the same behavioral problems as someone who has no self-control over gambling. It's all about pleasure seeking without regard for the consequences.
I will echo what others have said that you can want for a loved one to change until you are blue in the face but until they want to change nothing will happen. I watched this with my parents and cigarettes. Finally the expense got too great and that motivated them to change their behavior.
To me, the biggest problem I have with such behavior is not what they are doing to themselves but what they would be doing to me. Diets require strong willpower. Putting tempting foods within reach require even more willpower on my part to not eat them. Bringing home boxes of cookies is just rubbing my nose in temptation. I don't need that sabotage.
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
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Lorsmith44 wrote: »It is so hard when one person brings stuff into the house when the other is trying not to eat that stuff... I know how that is. I have a skinny hubby who thinks he can eat sweets and fats like they are going out of style. But cholesterol is not his friend, so we both should be watching what we eat.
Meh.... you're both adults, making your own choices. You do you, he does him.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
you do know that 'refined' sugar comes from sugar cane or sugar beets, etc, right? your body doesn't know the difference between that and what comes from peaches, apples, or what have you.0 -
So eating Oreos and food in general is now the equivalent to drugs????
BRB. Buying syringes and foil to mainline the Oreos I bought last week.0 -
enterdanger wrote: »@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.
My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.
I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.
I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.
Yeah, this leads to divorce. you're not his mother, or his jailor.0 -
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate. Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.0 -
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
Ah yes, that explains it all so clearly.0
This discussion has been closed.
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