Four bags of Oreos
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APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Just a morning update - I'll be reading through all the responses through the day,.. all four packages of Oreos have been opened and at least 2 cookies are gone from each. The packages will be finished within a week, I'm guessing.
As for addictions - food can be just as deadly an addiction as drugs, if not more so because you can't give it up completely like drugs or alcohol.
Not our first discussion by far - in fact he has gone to drastic extremes (WLS) which failed because he believed his gastric band would fix everything with no effort on his part.
Age does make a difference - the body does not recover as well from stressors and is much more prone to serious effects. So, to those of you in your 20s and 30s - make changes now. It will be much harder to lose it later.
I'll be back after work - keep this discussion rolling...
Just so you know, if you didn't discover it already, you will find a bunch of people here who say that there is no such thing as food addiction. Pay them no mind.
A person who has no self-control over food has the same behavioral problems as someone who has no self-control over gambling. It's all about pleasure seeking without regard for the consequences.
I will echo what others have said that you can want for a loved one to change until you are blue in the face but until they want to change nothing will happen. I watched this with my parents and cigarettes. Finally the expense got too great and that motivated them to change their behavior.
To me, the biggest problem I have with such behavior is not what they are doing to themselves but what they would be doing to me. Diets require strong willpower. Putting tempting foods within reach require even more willpower on my part to not eat them. Bringing home boxes of cookies is just rubbing my nose in temptation. I don't need that sabotage.
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
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Lorsmith44 wrote: »It is so hard when one person brings stuff into the house when the other is trying not to eat that stuff... I know how that is. I have a skinny hubby who thinks he can eat sweets and fats like they are going out of style. But cholesterol is not his friend, so we both should be watching what we eat.
Meh.... you're both adults, making your own choices. You do you, he does him.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
you do know that 'refined' sugar comes from sugar cane or sugar beets, etc, right? your body doesn't know the difference between that and what comes from peaches, apples, or what have you.0 -
OP, if your husband is diabetic and needs 3 meds but fails to follow a diet and exercise plan, which is 90% if not more of diabetes management, this is very much your concern. Because he is putting his life at risk, which does affect his family, and he is also taking a gamble with serious disabilities. My husband was for 10 years the primary caregivery of his mother, who suffered a serious stroke, and was left almost completely paralysed. As a direct result of unmanaged diabetes and blood pressure. It is not just his quality of life that is at stake.
So, if I were you, yes, I would be scheduling interventions, involving the entire family, throwing the food away, demanding he sees his dr, demanding he follows his dr's advice, demanding he meets up with a dietician.
Because I would rather fight with him and treat him like a child, than spend the rest of my life seeing him suffer with body or mind reduced to that of an infant. It is true, he is an adult and can make his own choices. However, unless he wishes to leave and forget he has family, he needs to respect that his choices affect his family. A diabetic not complying with lifestyle changes, is tempting fate. Unless he is mentally disabled, he knows this is putting his family under stress, so he cannot pretend it is his life his choice. It will be you changing his diapers, so you have a say.
that sounds like a recipe for disaster ….
Last time I checked he lives in a free country and if he wants to eat to the detriment of this health then that would be his choice, and not the food police.
Of course it is his choice. Same as it is his choice to become an alcoholic, or a drug addict. It is also the choice of his family to react. And while comparing oreos to drugs would be in general ridiculous, in this case, if things are as bad as the Op described, him becoming a drug addict might have been less scary for his family. I am assuming you have no personal experience with what a stroke can do to a patient. And his loved ones.
So eating Oreos and food in general is now the equivalent to drugs????
BRB. Buying syringes and foil to mainline the Oreos I bought last week.0 -
enterdanger wrote: »@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.
My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.
I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.
I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.
Yeah, this leads to divorce. you're not his mother, or his jailor.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate. Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
Ah yes, that explains it all so clearly.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate.
Gonna need to see some scientific proof of that other than "because I said so"Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
Lol what???I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.
Define "healthier"0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate. Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.
big picture thinking here: it's about how you eat overall, not in one moment. Did you eat well-rounded for the whole day? If you meet your macros, and then have an oreo, you did well. if you ate oreos all day, not so much. If you ate fruit all day, not so much.
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OP, I understand how you are feeling and that it hurts to watch your husband's health get worse and worse while he refuses to help himself.
I agree with the consensus that it is ultimately his choice, and all you can do is control you. Perhaps if you will just step back and focus on yourself and your health (which you deserve to be able to to do, as you are worth it!), and let your husband do his thing, he will come around. Lose the weight you want to lose, become more active and healthy for yourself. Once he sees you doing that, he will probably realize that it would be a good idea for him to catch up in order to live a longer and happier life with you.
Keep your chin up, OP. I know it is hard, but if you love someone, you have to "let them go" and make their own choices. If he got WLS in the past and failed, he was probably feeling some external pressure to have it done, and maybe wasn't ready to make the change. He will come around in time, but you have to let HIM make that decision.0 -
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
Yes, because Ludwig is heavily invested in the GI theory of foods and everything he says is heavily biased by that.
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APeacefulWarrior wrote: »Carnivor0us wrote: »Since your husband is a grown adult, I suggest doing what I had to do - lead by example, by cooking tasty yet healthful meals (if you're the one that cooks, that is) and politely refusing any junk.
It's amazing how many people I've turned that way. It took time, but it always works.
He pretty much won't eat anything I cook - he grew up in the restaurant business and as a young cook, it was all about fat, sugar, and salt. I grew up in a household where my parents tried to eat healthy (blood pressure issues are pretty prevalent in my family), so I like flavor, but can't afford a lot of calories from fat - and sugar? Well he's diabetic and sugar really makes me feel awful in a number of ways, so neither of us need a lot of sugar. Salt in moderation (I have high blood pressure and processed foods are SO full of salt that when I eat a home cooked meal, I'd rather be able to add it at the table.
I do politely refuse... he tells me I'm being militant. Sigh...
So you didn't know this when you married him?
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate. Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.
This makes absolutely no sense. All nutrients are separated and by the body during digestion. This process begins in the stomach. Whether those nutrients start out mixed together makes no difference to your body. It does what it does, takes what it needs, and expels what it does not.
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http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/31/making-the-case-for-eating-fruit/?_r=0
Here is an article discussing why it is better for your body to get sugar from whole fruit rather than added refined.
I stopped reading at Ludwig....
I will see your blog, and raise you with this one...
http://www.alanaragonblog.com/2010/01/29/the-bitter-truth-about-fructose-alarmism/
also, just because you get fiber from fruit does not make the sugar in fruit better. If I eat added sugar and take a multivitamin does it become good???
Clearly you stopped reading the article, as here is a direct quote from it:
"You can’t just take an 8-ounce glass of cola and add a serving of Metamucil and create a health food,” Dr. Ludwig said. “Even though the fructose-to-fiber ratio might be the same as an apple, the biological effects would be much different.”
why not? it has fiber in it, same as fruit...
because your body breaks down the fruit, which combines the items together, differently than it does the items when they are separate. Here's an unrelated example for you - pour some oil in a glass. then pour some vinegar. Now pour the same amounts into a jar and emulsify them. Now return each example to its original state of separate oil and vinegar.
I'm not some whole foods person, and I eat plenty of refined sugar and carbs, but you have to be a little daft to not think that it is healthier to satisfy a sweet craving by eating a piece of whole fruit rather than an Oreo cookie.
Why not? If I've hit my macros for the day and I have calories left over, why would it matter if I'm choosing an Oreo over something deemed "healthier"? I'm not getting extra credit for going over in another macronutrient category if what I really want is an Oreo.0 -
I would be like "Hey. You just said you were on board and cared about your health. This load of sugar and fat doesn't jive with that. How does your doctor regard this stuff as a part of your diet? Shall we ask him/her about that?"
Since diabetes management is absolutely nothing like eating moderate treats for healthy people, this is actually pretty serious. I would inform the doctor about what is going on. Diabetic people lose their feet/legs, their kidney function, and eventually their lives by eating high sugar items when the doctor says not to. Taking meds is NOT a free pass. That's how my grandmother died. I'm prediabetic and I don't bring items like that into the house, period, because I've seen the consequences.0 -
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big picture thinking here: it's about how you eat overall, not in one moment. Did you eat well-rounded for the whole day? If you meet your macros, and then have an oreo, you did well. if you ate oreos all day, not so much. If you ate fruit all day, not so much.
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I agree, and that's how I eat. But the context here was a person who doesn't eat like that. And on a one to one comparison, fruit is definitely healthier than cookies. I can't even believe that is up for debate.0 -
enterdanger wrote: »@APeacefulWarrior I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If I was watching my husband do this to himself I would throw away the crap he brought in the house. Yes, I am controlling. But if my adult husband isn't going to act like an adult and be the PARTNER I married and stick to his promises I will make the decisions.
My husband wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it was the other way around. That's our dynamic. I didn't marry someone to watch them self destruct. Standing by and waiting until they "are ready to lose weight" would not be an option for me. Especially not someone who already had weight loss surgery once and had a serious disease like diabetes.
I watch those My 600lb life shows and there is always an enabler. I would not want to be that person. Ever.
I know you can't change anyone's behavior but your own. But that doesn't mean that someone else taking over all the food prep and grocery shopping won't work. That is at least changing your behavior. Only you can judge how he would respond to that and if it would be positive or negative. It would at least be a different response.
This sounds like a terribly unhealthy relationship.
People who respect boundaries are not enablers.
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