11 year old daughter

Options
124»

Replies

  • Panda86
    Panda86 Posts: 873
    Options
    I would definitely get a second opinion. If she is that tall, that shouldn't be considered obese, even if she is young. Goodness! I hope they didn't say that in front of her... I really don't think that is correct at all.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Options
    She towers over most of her friends. She is one of the "bigger" girls in her grade. My little Gabrielle Reese in the making.

    Im really excited about grocery shopping with her now. Cause if there is one thing about that baby its that once you tell her you are going to do something, I will be damned if you are backing out. lol She is a great accountability buddy.

    I think Im going to go home and throw that test in the trash and tell her we dont give a caca about that stupid test. we just want to be healthy.
  • sh0ck
    sh0ck Posts: 168 Member
    Options
    Of course trying to keep an eye on her junk food intake is important but also keep in mind that at 11 years old most children are going through or getting ready to go through a lot of bodily changes that take a few years to even out.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Options
    So according to some fitness test at my daughters school she is considered obese! She is almost 5' 4" tall and she weighs about 117-120. She wears a size 9 shoe. I do know she has a tendency to eat junk food (like most kids) but she is extremely active. I have stopped buying junk but she seems to have no problems getting her hands on it. I dont plan on completely restricting her from things but I dont want her to be 36 years old on a fitness website trying to get rid of baby fat from a baby she had 6 years ago. If you know what i mean.

    With that said, do any of you have any suggestions on what I can do? I dont think she is fat but she is a bit chunky but she is still growing. Please dont get the wrong impression of me. My daughter is beautiful but I am the one that is responsible for what she eats. I want to teach her better eating habits than what I was taught. She has made comments about her belly so I figure now is the perfect time to get this under control.

    I also dont want her to think she is on a diet either. I kinda want to do this on the down low without her even knowing. Am i making sense? She is going grocery shopping with me but before we go were working on a list with healthy snacks that she can enjoy. I guess my question is I know kids require more calories but are there any websites out there that you all know of that I can make sure I do this the correct way?

    It doesn't sound to me as though she could POSSIBLY be obese by ANY measure. She's not overweight, she's 11~ :flowerforyou: And if she's 5'4" and stil not in puberty, she's going to sprout up several inches to balance those size 9 shoes, too. :wink:

    I think what I would do is to start including her when you plan the family's meals, do the shopping and then teach her how to cook with you. Even 35 years ago, when I was 11, they didn't teach this stuff in school. But she's old enough to start being included some of the time in how you plan and prepare the family's meals. Maybe do all of it with her 1 week a month unless she's interested in doing it more often.

    You'll be teaching her some wonderful skills, including budgeting and shopping, and never have to mention weight. You'll be doing what you wanted to do--helping build healthy habits.
  • Panda86
    Panda86 Posts: 873
    Options
    Also, my sister once made a comment about my nephew "getting a little chubby"... She expressed her concern in this, but didn't get crazy about it, and its a good thing. He had a growth spurt only a few months later and now stands at 6'5". Kids tend to grow out a bit, and then up, and then out, and then up.
  • Laurayinz
    Laurayinz Posts: 923 Member
    Options
    So according to some fitness test at my daughters school she is considered obese! She is almost 5' 4" tall and she weighs about 117-120. She wears a size 9 shoe.
    According to the CDC growth charts, she's about 90th percentile. The school's obese notion seems absurd

    http://www.cdc.gov/growthcharts/data/set1clinical/cj41c022.pdf
  • Sarahr73
    Sarahr73 Posts: 454 Member
    Options
    First of all, she's 11 and a size nine shoe. I am a size 10 and am 5'10". I would say that she will be growing some more and that her weight and height will even out as she gets older.
    Secondly, don't trust her school's fitness test. At her age I don't think it matters as much if you are a little chunky. A lot chunky is a different issue.
    Just start teaching her healthy eating habits now and maybe get her into sports or even dancing or whatever so she will know how to maintain her weight as she gets older. And if she still wants her junk food, let her have it but teach how to eat in moderation. You don't have to say "it's going to make you fat if you keep eating those". Just tell her too much sugar can make it easier to get diabetes or too much sodium can give you high blood and put you at risk for heart disease and strokes and explain what these things are. I honestly don't think this will be an issue as she will most likely continue getting taller.
  • wongsuzy
    wongsuzy Posts: 12
    Options
    My grand daughter is the same. She is 9yrs old and is very active, doing dancing 3 times a week plus always riding her bike and running around. She is a solid build and has a tummy. My daughter took her to the doctor and he suggested reducing sugar and salty snack biscuits and even fruit juice.This should reduce the tummy fat. He said increase her water, fruit and veggies and lean protein, but to be careful not to reduce her good carbs too low as she still has a lot of growing to do. Hope this helps. btw your daughter does not sound as if she has a problem anyway. I think some weight scales for children are unrealistic as they do not really allow for the vast differences in growth rates, ethnic heritage, onset of puberty to name a few.
  • sinclare
    sinclare Posts: 369 Member
    Options
    A few thoughts:
    1)A lot of schools and programs still go by BMI which is COMPLETE CRAP!!!! IT WAS AN IDEA CREATED BETWEEN 1830 AND 1850 (Can you believe we are still using it? ugh) and it does not at all take into consideration muscle mass or body build. A good friend of mine is a body builder (not the gross steroid pumped kind, he is 100% natural with everything) and is in incredible shape but according to BMI he's obese. So if they are measuring based on BMI I would say take that information with a grain of salt because BMI is not accurate and I think it should be tossed out of the books completely.

    2) she's 11 so she's still growing. Now that doesn't mean it's OK to let her eat whatever she wants and not live a healthy live style. You have a fantastic opportunity to teach your daughter how to live a healthy life style without feeling punished.

    3)You need to make sure that when you go about putting her on any diet that you are make sure the goal isn't skinny. She's at that age when most girls are becoming incredibly self conscious about their body and their figure and now is a great time to teach her to love the body she has and that she's beautiful. Any diet should be geared towards healthy living, and NOT geared towards losing weight or not being fat.


    I think you have a fantastic opportunity here, please use it wisely.


    i totally agree here. and don't take her to the dr--she will think there REALLY is something wrong with her!

    I was about the same size when I was 11. the biggest girl in the school. ( no i wasn't remotely fat). chances are she is already self-conscious.

    Don't let her know you are concerned about her weight; with all the pressure on girls these days, it could easily backfire for you.
  • pjrisher
    pjrisher Posts: 152
    Options
    I just stumbled on this and it reminded me of this post.. check it out!

    http://www.good.is/post/beyonce-s-killing-it-with-these-let-s-move-videos
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Options
    I'm sure this is someone's attempt to battle in the "war on obesity"... Typical. The school has no problem calling your daughter fat but then they'll turn around and feed her a lunch of tater tots, hamburger with mayo and iceburg lettuce on a white bun, half of a canned pear in heavy syrup and chocolate milk.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Options
    isnt that the truth! she told me the other day that they made her get an orange juice. I was thinking thats not so bad but she said she already took milk and they made her go back in the line and get the juice too. I dont have a problem with her drinking juice but SHE DIDNT WANT IT.

    Yea, the menu at school sucks. However, she and I went shopping yesterday and was tickled to death cause I just let her pick out all the fruit and veggies she wanted. She never even asked for her Hot Cheetos. We love strawberry shortcake so instead of pound cake we picked up sugar free angel food cake, fresh strawberries and a little bit of sugar free cool whip. SHE LOVED IT! So did her momma! lol

    I told her that I want us to be healthier. Never mentioned a word about her weight or mine. I try not to say "omg im so fat" or anything like that. As a matter of fact, in my house we are fabulous! lol

    Thank you to all of you for your words of encouragement. I decided to disregard these test results. I will decide what she eats or doesnt eat. She said she wants to start taking her lunch too. That way we have more control over what she eats.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Options
    I have one more comment to make. My DD was reading her lunch menu to me this morning on the way to school. The choices today are chicken nuggets or a ham/cheeseburger french fries & fruit.

    HA!
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Options
    UGGG Boomboom that just makes me so angry. We have all this talk about teaching kids how to eat right blah blah blah, and then they feed them like this. I always LOVED to eat school lunch I thought it was so tasty. Um yeah.. it's so tasty because it was junk food! -Good for your daughter for wanting to be healthier. I'm so glad she wants to brown bag it from now on!
  • bybybelly
    bybybelly Posts: 56
    Options
    I am going through something similar with my 4 year old son. He weighs 75lbs and is considered severely obese. It breaks my heart to deny him something but it is tough love and I want to get this under control now instead of later! And "deny" is not really the word but I can tell that is what he feels when I say no. We have regular DR visits to monitor his gain.....the DOC wants us to keep him steady and not put him on a "diet". Plus, I have thrown out all the junk and replaced it with good choices. He gets 1 snack a day and has to drink water unless its a meal. Then he can have juice or 1% Milk! I have 2 daughters, 14 and 8, and we never had to worry about weight issues with them. They ate what they needed and nothing more.

    Remember with your daughter, puberty will change things! Also, I am 5'6 and I can't imagine 117 on my body. Just be watchful, supportive, and keep her active. I had an eating disorder from the ages of 13-19 and I know how fragile self-esteem is at that age:smile: Maybe the teachers can use some education on how to approach these topics with the kids. I agree they need to be discussed but let's be sensitive and get the parents involved before we tell a child she is obese!
  • candi82
    candi82 Posts: 6
    Options
    My daughter is 9 years old 5ft tall and weighs 143lbs. She has always been in the 95% for girls her age for both height and weight. Her pediatrician from the day she was born thur currently told me that she is perfect! The school is no substitute for yearly exams with a doctor specializing in children. Ignore them and take her to the doctor. Every child is different. Trust me Ive even challenged her doctor and asked for a referral to a dietitian. No surprise... she took one look at my daughter and said shes fine. Shes bigger than all the other kids, so what... no flabby arms, squishy belly, and her eating habits are right on.
    Want my advice... your doing perfect! By what you said you are indeed doing what you need to do. Also, a LOT of kids will go thru almost binge like eating habits, plumping up, just before a growth spurt. Make sure your daughter isnt in the midst of this.
    Also, when my kids ask for junk food for snacks... I simply say, "No, but lets make a healthy choice and find something else."
    You cant tell you children no all the time, nor can you say yes all the time. You cant and wont be with them 24/7... you need to show them how to make choices. Teach them that every choice big or small has a consequence. Eat unhealthy, be unhealthy. Kids are kids. Its ok to have a cupcake or soda from time to time, but all the time isnt ok. My 1st grader came home from school the other day and was soooo proud of herself for making a healthy choice at lunch. She said, "Mom! guess what! My teacher asked us what kind of milk we wanted and everyone said chocolate, but me and my friend chose white!" ...know what i said? "Im proud of you. Hows that make YOU feel?" (They need to learn to be doing it for themselves, not me)
  • katberz
    katberz Posts: 123
    Options
    One other note: please don't cut out all junk, teach portion control!! I was never overweight as a child, but my mom didnt really allow junk and soda...let me tell you when I got out on my own and could have whatever I wanted! I went crazy, at 30 I am learning portion control, and my BMI is morbidly obese! I dont agree with that and am not trying to get to a BMI number, just comfy in own skin again!

    This, this, this. I ballooned from a moderately chubby teenager into a 300 lb adult after I moved out and could finally make my own choices when it came to food, ugh.

    On a side note, I don't understand why the school says your daughter's obese? The calculator I used says, "A 11 year old (female) child who is 120 pounds and is 5 feet and 4 inches tall has a body mass index of 20.6, which is at the 83th percentile, and would indicate that your child is at a healthy weight." So what's all the fuss about?

Categories