Men! What motivated you? I need your help!

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Replies

  • BJPCraig
    BJPCraig Posts: 417 Member
    I joined after my wife's recommendation (the day after she did), but I was ready to lose the weight anyway (and to be honest, I didn't really think it was going to work, but figured what did I have to lose?).

    If it's being on MFP that he is avoiding, there are other services/sites that track calories in a similar fashion, you can direct him to one of those. Check out NerdFitness.com (I love that site), where he has several posts talking about the importance of tracking how many calories you eat and how many you burn, and how much help these sites are.

    Also, my wife & I have found that it is SO much easier to do this with both of us working together. So if he won't do it for himself, maybe tell him, "Look, this is hard enough for me, but if you would help and do it with me, I think that would make it much easier. Can you help me with this?"
  • Richie2shoes
    Richie2shoes Posts: 411 Member
    Four years ago, I lost 90 pounds using a different calorie app. It was a real eye opener for me when I first started logging food. I did it for 2 weeks without counting calories or changing my diet to try and get a baseline to see what I was actually eating. I thought I'd be around 2500 calories. Turns out 3500 calories was a low day for me and most days were closer to 4000. After that, I started making small changes, a little at a time.

    Unfortunately I got lazy and reverted to old habits and gained back 85 of that 90 and here I am again!
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    It never really was a question of motivation. In truth I never cared enough to do anything about it until four years ago when I did something I had always wanted: I bought a motorcycle. My obesity however made learning to ride a much more difficult and dangerous task than it had to be, and when I finally accepted that losing weight was something I had to do to become a competent rider, I simply just... did. There just wasn't any question of motivation.
  • TXtstorm
    TXtstorm Posts: 163 Member
    I joined MFP because my husband was on here and the meals we were planning together were causing me to start losing weight without trying. Seeing him make an effort for himself and choose a method that seemed soundly based (eating real foods, being aware of what he was eating, beginning to exercise fairly regularly) instead of this fad or that or looking for a "silver bullet" solution and getting the collateral benefit for myself made me decide to actually put in a little effort myself and see what I got. Ultimately, each person has to decide for themselves. Your example, results, and (assumed) increasing happiness as you look and feel better are the best way for him to see that what you are doing works and is manageable.

    Other than generally improved health, extended longevity, and ties created by working together toward common goals the best shared benefit:

    Better sex. Yep, THAT seems a likely motivator.
  • instead of trying to drastically change his life style slowly start changing his eating habits. More like portion control and incorporate water into the mix. if hes into soda and juice don't take it from him but try to keep him within a certain amount a week. when he begins to see a change then include him into your workouts or find something that makes him move around and work from that.
  • nonstopper
    nonstopper Posts: 1,108 Member
    Just try to simple ask him to workout with you. If he says no thats fine. When you workout, someday he will come around and join in. Thats what happend with my wife and now she worksout while im at work! I have also gone on facebook and LIKED fitness pages to motivate me and my wife. updating pics of people working out and in fit condition. We are always on Facebook so you always see it. Just keep everyone motivated!! Keep the rigth food in the house to keep him motivated.
  • don't just blindly follow Taubes. you need to independently verify his assertions.
    If you read my post, you see that I don't say "follow Taubes". I said that Taubes work is what got me started. Aside from the mythology of obesity, which he doesn't do a great job with, he has a lot of good information about how metabolism works. Understanding how insulin is used by the body, how carbs and sugar are metabolised, etc. was very important in understanding my own personal issues with weight gain and loss.

    I also very clearly said every body and metabolism is different. What works for me may not work for someone else.

    I suggest Taubes as a starting point since he clearly explains how the body works in ways that others don't.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    I haven't read this whole thread, but I started doing a lot of research over at bodybuilding.com when I decided to change my body. Over there, I learned not only about the exercises, but about nutrition and what macros I needed to hit. And I learned that nutrition plays a much bigger role than exercise. So if I wanted to see results, tracking my nutrition just wasn't an option. So I found the mfp app and downloaded it as a way of tracking my food to make sure I hit the macros I need to hit as well as the calories I need to hit, whether it be defecit, maintenance, or bulking. Right now, I am running a deficit. And with this, I am able to keep up with my calories, and grams of protien (make sure I get enough), fat (make sure I don't get too much, while still getting enough), and carbs (not really following these too close, that is where most of my calorie deficit is coming from).
  • goblynn
    goblynn Posts: 148 Member
    Thanks again to all of you guys!!!! I'm layin' low right now and will try to be VERY aware of my NAGGING, lol. :)
  • NobodyInParticular
    NobodyInParticular Posts: 352 Member
    Boobs. My motivation. Actually, I'm more of a butt man but the principle remains.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    My motivation came when I realized how unhappy I was with myself and ashamed that I had let myself get into the shape I'd fallen into.
  • RECowgill
    RECowgill Posts: 881 Member
    I had a kidney stone. There's nothing quite like it the pain is terrible. At our age he is ripe for it, if he wants to avoid that problem and others he should diet and exercise.
  • Mighty_Rabite
    Mighty_Rabite Posts: 581 Member
    I really don't even recall what prompted me to join MFP, but I'm glad I did - being publicly accountable with my logging and such has kept me on the straight and narrow and really bumped up my results and progress!

    My original motivational spark was actually all the ladies who have rejected me in the past, I wanted to give them an extra reason to think "damn, why didn't I take that opportunity when it was presented to me..."

    That kept the fire going for a while, but my dad's increasing health issues in the last couple of years (culminating with a heart attack, triple bypass, and nearly four month insanely complicated recovery during which he neared death on numerous occasions) have been the bigger motivational factors of late. I must keep up what I've gotten going so I can stay away from that kind of pitfall in the future.
  • TheEffort
    TheEffort Posts: 1,028 Member
    I started nearly 2 years ago because i was tired of the way I looked and needed to address typical obesity related health issues. i often look at my before and after pictures to stay motivated. MFP has been a great resource that helped me change my lifestyle. :happy:

    8488541.png
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Hello MFP males,

    My husband has tried many different diets and is depressed about not losing weight. I have had very good success using MFP and have encouraged him to join. Unfortunately, I have been met with resistance. It's that husband/wife thing, you know?

    Anyway, how did you get started? What motivated you to join MFP and how have you stuck w/ it. I would love to find away to help my husband see the amazingness this site has to offer. That being said, I know it has to be his decision, just wonder if I have been going about my 'encouragement' the wrong way.

    I adore him and just want him to be happy.

    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    Three things you can tell him that I said.

    He'll like MFP because he doesn't need to "try many different diets" anymore. He can set his calorie goal and eat whatever he wants. I lost my weight eating mcdonalds, ribs, pizza, gigantic hamburgers, whatever. (note, I don't drink, so i have no experience on how that affects meeting the cal goal). But instead of a diet where he has to cut out his favorite foods or starve all damn day, he can eat whatever he wants provided he finds a way to stuff it into his macros. I go to my Saturday poker game with 1 pound 4x4 burger from In and Out, and my buddies ask why I'm off my diet. I'm like, "this IS my diet, BEEEYOTCH!"

    He should spend a little time on the Success thread. That's what locked me in. I spent my first two weeks on this site looking at all the before and after photos. Couldn't believe how different some people looked. Found guys that looked like big me, and then used the site to transform into future me.

    Boobie Fridays
  • timllawrence
    timllawrence Posts: 1 Member
    My motivation came through being able to play golf better. I started at 127kg and am have already improved my golf game. The past three weeks I have been able to walk 18 holes of golf and not feel exhausted by the end of the round.

    Also part of my motivation is in regards to avoiding getting diabetes and other health issues. I am 30 years old so I am young enough to get healthy and live a long life.
  • FitGuyWillDoIt
    FitGuyWillDoIt Posts: 111 Member
    I feel good. I've worked out five days each week this month. I'm back in The Zone with confidence, swagger and a more angular look. The soft post holiday guy is gone and, "Bond is back." I also want to look good when I meet women.

    On a more serious note, I want good health. I want to keep playing sports and doing the activities I like as I get older. I don't want to be obese and have diabetes and be on medications. I want to be the guy that jumps in and plays the game at 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, whatever. It's about living life myself instead of being a couch potato or armchair quarterback. It's about the kick *kitten* feeling of being fit and healthy like you can take on the world and win.

    There are more reasons too. As far as success goes, it all depends on how bad we want it. Like anything else in our lives, if we want it bad enough, if it's important enough, we will work to achieve it. I WILL achieve it!
  • thelastcenturion
    thelastcenturion Posts: 28 Member
    are we allowed to post links on the forums? if not: the /r/loseit and /r/progresspics on Reddit definitely helped, and still helping me as motivation. that and the people on MFP too. people on here keep me accountable. they keep me pushing through, and understand why i am taking health and fitness seriously. for some reason my "social network" friends don't get it and aren't as enthusiastic as the MFP crowd.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I asked my husband what motivates him. He says he gets his good habits from watching me! Bahahaha! That's so cute! He also says it's NOT a DIET! Health and fitness are a lifestyle. You have to have the right attitude - like making health and fitness a priority in your life (just like your work ethic or your family values), and not just let it be a passing phase. :flowerforyou:
  • Mrder37
    Mrder37 Posts: 904
    Tell him oh god I'm tired from all my friend request from buff men on mfp I bet you he will join up 2 seconds later us men r simple creatures
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,657 Member
    I understand him. It is depressing being fat. It is depressing when everywhere you turn are unhealthy choices and it seems impossible to make healthy ones. You friends and co-workers eat junk so it makes it hard to be social. Its depressing when you feel bad, you are tired and you feel sluggish all the time. The worst part is, you know its all your fault. Its very depressing. And it is a downward spiral. You feel bad because you are fat>you are moody because you feel bad>your moodiness leads to problems with people around you>problems with people around you make you turn even more inward>turning inward makes you not care>not caring makes you fat.

    I changed because I dont want to be that guy. I want to be fit and happy. I want my wife and kids to be proud of me. In my opinion, the best thing you can do for him is to love him unconditionally, offer help IF he asks and be very positive and supportive to ANY positive things he does.
  • 10thfo
    10thfo Posts: 4
    You might want to look at the root cause of the depression. Without trying to address what is making him feel so down about himself, then nothing you do will likely matter. I have suffered from PTSD and major depression. Unless that can be pinpointed it will be a very tough battle. Even minor victories can turn to WTH moments, that put him in a spiral.

    I'm working to get mine under control now, have been doing pretty well with it. now if I can just get myself going again, I should be able to finally lose.

    It's something I really want to do, but I left my home 5 months ago. And now that I'm ready to do things, and want a little support, the support that I had isn't there. So that's my kickstart. If his actions or inactions are hurting his relationship with his family or children, maybe that will be enough to inspire him. No matter how much a man thinks he doesn't care, you let his wife lose weight, and find out that he is losing his kids, because he can't be there emotionally or even physically for them, it's about the best motivation there can be.
  • MisterZ33
    MisterZ33 Posts: 567 Member
    you have received some valuable tips here.

    along with all the usual reasons for wanting to lose weight, my wife threw in the biggest motivator:

    5lbs BJ.

    every 5 lbs i lose, i get one.

    thats her reward to me.

    when i dont want to work out....she reminds me of the 5lbs BJ. usually gets me off the couch.

    but here is the kicker...the deal has a provision that if i gain any weight, there will be no BJs until i get back down to the lowest weight minus 5 lbs. so i cant just gain 5 pounds and lose 5 pounds, i have to be consistantly losing.

    sex sells.
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