Informal Poll: Mean People
barbecuesauce
Posts: 1,771 Member
At what stage of your weight loss did you begin hearing unsolicited mean comments from those around you? Anything from passive-aggressive barbs to "you have an eating disorder." I would love to hear context, too.
>Obese
>Overweight
>High Normal BMI
>Midrange BMI
>Low BMI
>Underweight
>Obese
>Overweight
>High Normal BMI
>Midrange BMI
>Low BMI
>Underweight
0
Replies
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For me, I was still technically overweight when my parents began making comments about my health, and now that I'm in the 22s BMI-wise, an acquaintance told me I'm looking "older" and not as attractive. I also got to hear some sniping from a friend about how easy it is for me to lose. (It isn't! It's just math!)0
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at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...0 -
I will still in the overweight range when a friend drunkenly asked me to stop losing weight before I got smaller than she is. That was really the worst of the batch, as I recall. I got plenty of "you're wasting away" type comments in the overweight range that were well meant but totally wrong, but not much real sniping.0
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I was a high normal BMI, but very low body fat. The comments ranged from steroid accusations to calling me anorexic. My work offered to pay to send me to a therapist for my "eating disorder". I'm hoping it won't happen again this competition prep since they've seen that I do gain the weight back.0
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I'm at 22 BMI right now
Right now people a A holes eff em0 -
I'm still around 7 lbs overweight but I have not heard any mean comments yet.0
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cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
Female here and didn't really get it now or when I was overweight or underweight. I'm guessing it's a sensitive people thing ( I don't mean that in a bad way - I guess if anything is said, I don't pick up on it because I don't really care?)
Now getting stronger, that really seems to put other women's backs up IRL
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I got called "anorexic" by my HR manager, of all people, when I was mid-range BMI (5' 4" 127lbs). It actually is a bit thin for my frame, but, seriously?
Edit: I've actually never been insulted for being obese or overweight (which I am still overweight currently...) - not to my face, anyway...0 -
low BMI - around 20 or so. haters!0
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I had negative comments when I was overweight and now I'm in the low healthy BMI and I get comments that I'm losing too much and told I need to stop.0
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I've never been overweight per BMI and have heard those comments from BMI ~24 to BMI ~19 and continue to do so from friends, coworkers, etc. I generally assume it's a misplaced compliment/not meant maliciously, but I've had a few friends drunkenly get pretty harsh about me watching my weight because I'm not actually fat. To which I have to reply "Yeah...I'm not fat because I watch it," same as I do to the people at work who try to push food and especially desserts on me.
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Low BMI. I get the occasional "you're too skinny" comments, but I don't give a flying *kitten*.0
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cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
Female here and didn't really get it now or when I was overweight or underweight. I'm guessing it's a sensitive people thing ( I don't mean that in a bad way - I guess if anything is said, I don't pick up on it because I don't really care?)
Now getting stronger, that really seems to put other women's backs up IRL
maybe that's it...
i don't recall if anyone every commented or not...likely because I don't really care...the only person's opinion I care about is my wife's and my kids'. most of her comments go something like, "350 Lb dead-lift sweetie...that's awesome" (smacks *kitten*).0 -
I'm a pretty sensitive person and all the comments: "you're too thin", "you need to eat more" etc felt like compliments to me. I try to assume people have good intentions until they expressly prove me wrong.0
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>Obese
My aunt told me I needed to stop losing weight when my BMI was around 34. I then told her that I had plenty of fat to lose and that I was looking to get to a healthy weight of 130 lbs; to which she replied would be extremely unhealthy. I'm 5'4.5" and ya 130 lbs isn't even close to being "too small" for my height or frame. She's obese herself though.
~Side note: I'm actually about 8 lbs away from my goal now.
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I've lost a stone (14lbs) and I'm still obese (32.5 Bmi). I've already been told I really don't need to lose any more.0
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cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
Female here and didn't really get it now or when I was overweight or underweight. I'm guessing it's a sensitive people thing ( I don't mean that in a bad way - I guess if anything is said, I don't pick up on it because I don't really care?)
Now getting stronger, that really seems to put other women's backs up IRL
I can't deny that I'm sensitive, especially to comments about weight. It's not so much caring what people think--I'm going to do what I'm going to do whether you like it or not--but it does sting a little when people turn on you for improving yourself.
And yeah, starting strength training seems to draw negative comments from people who think I'm going to get supah bulky.0 -
When I was 15 and a perfectly healthy weight, my dad used to say I had an eating disorder. When I was 27 and 10 pounds heavier, his comment was "Wow, you sure have gained a lot of weight."
It didn't really bother me. I actually thought it was kind of funny, especially considering he was 30# overweight at the time...0 -
While I was still a bit above the normal BMI range, my mother-in-law -- stereotypically -- started commenting negatively. It's probably just a coincidence that people were starting to comment positively on my weight loss rather than hers. It mattered to me precisely 0.00.
Generally, people don't say much out of line to me in person.0 -
Thanks to my RBF, no one has ever said anything of that nature to me directly. I'm sure my in-laws have a few things to say amongst themselves about my weight and fitness habits, but as they say, other people's opinions of me are none of my business.0
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I've never heard mean comments. My friends are all decent folk.0
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TimothyFish wrote: »I've never heard mean comments. My friends are all decent folk.
You're assuming only friends comment on each others bodies, not strangers or minor acquaintances.0 -
I've had the odd infrequent comment since I got under BMI 21. To be fair only a handful of people have ever made comments, and I think at least 50% of them were actually just teasing or trying to give me an awkward compliment. Coincidentally or not, all of them were female. Only one close friend has ever said anything which really upset me.0
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I've heard both sides of it, usually from classmates or "well-meaning" co-workers. When I was morbidly obese, had already lost 100 lbs, and was still getting "why don't you take care of yourself" (usually not phrased nearly that politely) bs from people who didn't know jack about anything I had already done. And nothing boosts your self-esteem like some asshat yelling "fat *kitten*" out a car window when you're walking down the sidewalk 10 sizes smaller than you were the year before.
When I was first at my normal weight, comments asking if I was sick or if I had talked to the doctor about something being wrong. Those got better once I'd been at maintenance for a while, and people adjusted their mental image to the current one.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »While I was still a bit above the normal BMI range, my mother-in-law -- stereotypically -- started commenting negatively. It's probably just a coincidence that people were starting to comment positively on my weight loss rather than hers. It mattered to me precisely 0.00.
Generally, people don't say much out of line to me in person.
Same here. Then again, I've been told I give off a "back off" vibe in general, so maybe people say things behind my back. Don't know. Don't care. It always surprises me how many rude comments people get and how many people have food pushers in their lives. I've never encountered either one of these things.0 -
I'm 6'9", fairly large, don't smile a lot, and have a subwoofer kind of voice. I've literally made kids cry just by being there. Even without the long hair anymore, I'm told my vibe is "don't poke the bear, don't even do something that might annoy him." It works for me.DeguelloTex wrote: »While I was still a bit above the normal BMI range, my mother-in-law -- stereotypically -- started commenting negatively. It's probably just a coincidence that people were starting to comment positively on my weight loss rather than hers. It mattered to me precisely 0.00.
Generally, people don't say much out of line to me in person.
Same here. Then again, I've been told I give off a "back off" vibe in general, so maybe people say things behind my back. Don't know. Don't care. It always surprises me how many rude comments people get and how many people have food pushers in their lives. I've never encountered either one of these things.
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People don't say mean things to me. Then again, I am over 6 feet tall and can squat fo-fiddy.
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