Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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lilaclovebird wrote: »Confession: The last 3 days I have binged on McDonald's(it was a shopping trip with a girlfriend and I had been craving for like 2 weeks) and Papa Murphy's pizza. I brought some for my movie date, I baked the pizza and we sat down and watched a movie and then my dad had bought MORE when I came home. So I have been pigging out on the left overs.
The worst part: I eat the pizza and then I feel TERRIBLE afterwards. Super thirsty and I get fatigued. I KNOW it's going to happen but it doesn't stop me from eating it.
Bright side: I have started exercising more rigorously in an attempt to reduce my shame and I am becoming more and more impressed with what my body can do.
Hopefully you'll bypass the feeling of fatigue. Good job on exercising more (I need to too).0 -
heartsstarspll wrote: »I also figure I should admit... I'm so big (and this is not body dysmorphia talking here) that I can't imagine I'll ever be appealing to anyone. Sometimes, it gets so lonely... All I want sometimes is someone that can see past how rough I've been with my body, and consider me beautiful.
I have panic attacks sometimes, thinking about the fact that I'm in my 30s, and getting to a normal size of any type seems so impossible. I think I'm too late to do anything worthwhile, and that I will die alone. Ha.
I know this post is old, but I had to reply to it. I don't know if you are still reading even. I am in the same boat as you. I am 32 and scared that I am going to die alone, because nobody is ever going to want me. I didn't have my first boyfriend until last year, and that was a very hectic relationship... we fought a lot and he was controlling, I put off ending it for longer than I should have (though we were only together April-June) because I was like I know I'm never going to find anyone else. But when it came down to it, it wasn't a good situation, and even my friends were saying that they didn't like him. lol Since I broke up with him I have had a lot of second thoughts, like maybe I should have kept trying a little longer. But I know that's only because I know nobody else will want me.
Same with getting to a normal size, it feels sooo impossible. But this time feels different for me, I was at a crisis stabilization unit for 4 days in March, because I was at such a low point I would look at my medicine bottles thinking how easy it would be to just take them all. Well, I met a girl there who told me about how she lost weight and suggested I try it for a week and see if it helped. It was low carb, and I started the Monday after I got home, and stuck to it strictly for a month and a half or 2. I lost 7 pounds the first month, zero the second month.. then started dropping slowly again at the start of month 3! lol Anyway, I transitioned back on carbs and am mostly watching calories now, and I didn't gain any back, so I'm happy that I can have spaghetti and pizza again.
I am super frustrated losing only an average of a pound a week, when most people my size or even smaller drop faster! 
But I'm focusing on the goal here, I have to, when I don't I throw it all away and lose all my progress. I would love to be at my goal before/by the time I turn 34/35 at the latest, but worst case scenario, if I average a pound a week I should make it by 37. The worst part is, I feel like my life has passed me by because of this weight. I have dealt with the weight and eating disorders and depression and anxiety my whole life, and I feel like I literally CAN'T live or be happy until I lose the weight. Especially because I feel like even if I found someone who wanted me, that they would be like my ex, so I feel like I have to look better before I can find a better quality person.
Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to say that I know where you are at, I'm in the same place, if you see this and want to add me you can. Same goes for anyone else. I'm new to posting, but I have been lurking and using MFP on and off since I think 2013! I finally got up the nerve to start posting the other day. 
1 lbheartsstarspll wrote: »I also figure I should admit... I'm so big (and this is not body dysmorphia talking here) that I can't imagine I'll ever be appealing to anyone. Sometimes, it gets so lonely... All I want sometimes is someone that can see past how rough I've been with my body, and consider me beautiful.
I have panic attacks sometimes, thinking about the fact that I'm in my 30s, and getting to a normal size of any type seems so impossible. I think I'm too late to do anything worthwhile, and that I will die alone. Ha.
I know this post is old, but I had to reply to it. I don't know if you are still reading even. I am in the same boat as you. I am 32 and scared that I am going to die alone, because nobody is ever going to want me. I didn't have my first boyfriend until last year, and that was a very hectic relationship... we fought a lot and he was controlling, I put off ending it for longer than I should have (though we were only together April-June) because I was like I know I'm never going to find anyone else. But when it came down to it, it wasn't a good situation, and even my friends were saying that they didn't like him. lol Since I broke up with him I have had a lot of second thoughts, like maybe I should have kept trying a little longer. But I know that's only because I know nobody else will want me.
Same with getting to a normal size, it feels sooo impossible. But this time feels different for me, I was at a crisis stabilization unit for 4 days in March, because I was at such a low point I would look at my medicine bottles thinking how easy it would be to just take them all. Well, I met a girl there who told me about how she lost weight and suggested I try it for a week and see if it helped. It was low carb, and I started the Monday after I got home, and stuck to it strictly for a month and a half or 2. I lost 7 pounds the first month, zero the second month.. then started dropping slowly again at the start of month 3! lol Anyway, I transitioned back on carbs and am mostly watching calories now, and I didn't gain any back, so I'm happy that I can have spaghetti and pizza again. I am super frustrated losing only an average of a pound a week, when most people my size or even smaller drop faster! But I'm focusing on the goal here, I have to, when I don't I throw it all away and lose all my progress. I would love to be at my goal before/by the time I turn 34/35 at the latest, but worst case scenario, if I average a pound a week I should make it by 37. The worst part is, I feel like my life has passed me by because of this weight. I have dealt with the weight and eating disorders and depression and anxiety my whole life, and I feel like I literally CAN'T live or be happy until I lose the weight. Especially because I feel like even if I found someone who wanted me, that they would be like my ex, so I feel like I have to look better before I can find a better quality person.
Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to say that I know where you are at, I'm in the same place, if you see this and want to add me you can. Same goes for anyone else. I'm new to posting, but I have been lurking and using MFP on and off since I think 2013! I finally got up the nerve to start posting the other day.
Hi!!
1 lb a week is a good loss rate!
And if you are reading the old posts on this thread we discussed relationships from May 28 or so. Lots of stories, and encouragement. But the main thing is to love yourself first (even though right now it seems hard) and never settle!
You can add me if you like.0 -
I see I now have the mfp weird post syndrome.
I had to edit that because it added a bunch of other quotes.0 -
Wow. So I am going onto page 58... out of 808. -.-
Anyway... my confessions.
I don't own a food scale. I am still averaging a pound a week, and I overestimate things to cover myself, as well as instead of setting my calories at a low level, I have a maximum goal, and I usually don't reach that, so I figure I have room for errors.
I don't cook(I can throw frozen stuff in the oven, that's about it.. lol), my dad cooks my meals. Which is another reason I don't use a food scale, he thinks weighing food is dumb. lol He did lose a lot of weight when I was a teenager and has kept most of it off, so I trust his instincts. Although, he tends to go heavy on the portions. Luckily I only eat 2 meals a day, without snacks mostly. So even having more than one portion I can stay within my calories!
I have depression, anxiety and a history of eating disorders. Every time I start watching calories I get extremely obsessed. But I seem to be at a point now where I am relaxing a little more about it, as long as I don't go over too much, or gain weight.
I have Selective Eating Disorder and there are maybe 20 +/- foods that I can eat or be around without gagging. This makes things harder because what I can eat tends to be higher calorie, but if I stay away from cookies and stuff I am usually safe. This also made low carb reallllly hard--all I was eating was breadless bacon cheeseburgers, bacon, sausage, egg, ham, meatballs, and chicken legs, oh and pepperoni and cheese and peanuts. Since I added carbs back I didn't gain, and I'm pretty much losing at the same pace, so I'm so not denying myself carbs if it doesn't give me an advantage. I also stopped snacking on peanuts since I added carbs back, so I am actually less hungry since I'm not snacking. lol
I tend to write extremely long posts. (as you can tell.) lol
I think that's it for now. 0 -
All this talk about socks made me think of another one...
I don't wear socks. At all.
I wear shoes that are like 3 sizes too big to give my feet room when they swell up. I can wear 4's but I have a pair of 7's that I wear because my feet swell sometimes... though mostly my feet just move around in them.
I once tried on a pair of size 2.5 shoes, and they almost fit, but I have wide, thick, swollen feet, that also happen to be small length wise. lol
I haven't changed my picture on here since 2013, the last time I was active before I started again in March.
Almost forgot... I also get judge-y when I read loose instead of lose. LOL I get downright irritated. lol I wouldn't call anyone out though. So relieved I'm not the only one who notices that.0 -
heartsstarspll wrote: »Wow. So I am going onto page 58... out of 808. -.-
Anyway... my confessions.
I don't own a food scale. I am still averaging a pound a week, and I overestimate things to cover myself, as well as instead of setting my calories at a low level, I have a maximum goal, and I usually don't reach that, so I figure I have room for errors.
I don't cook(I can throw frozen stuff in the oven, that's about it.. lol), my dad cooks my meals. Which is another reason I don't use a food scale, he thinks weighing food is dumb. lol He did lose a lot of weight when I was a teenager and has kept most of it off, so I trust his instincts. Although, he tends to go heavy on the portions. Luckily I only eat 2 meals a day, without snacks mostly. So even having more than one portion I can stay within my calories!
I have depression, anxiety and a history of eating disorders. Every time I start watching calories I get extremely obsessed. But I seem to be at a point now where I am relaxing a little more about it, as long as I don't go over too much, or gain weight.
I have Selective Eating Disorder and there are maybe 20 +/- foods that I can eat or be around without gagging. This makes things harder because what I can eat tends to be higher calorie, but if I stay away from cookies and stuff I am usually safe. This also made low carb reallllly hard--all I was eating was breadless bacon cheeseburgers, bacon, sausage, egg, ham, meatballs, and chicken legs, oh and pepperoni and cheese and peanuts. Since I added carbs back I didn't gain, and I'm pretty much losing at the same pace, so I'm so not denying myself carbs if it doesn't give me an advantage. I also stopped snacking on peanuts since I added carbs back, so I am actually less hungry since I'm not snacking. lol
I tend to write extremely long posts. (as you can tell.) lol
I think that's it for now.
As said above, 1lb a week is great, especially if you can sustain it. I look back on old weight lows attempts where I've tried to lose too quickly and ended up quitting, if I'd even created a tiny deficit to lose 1/2 lb a week I'd be at goal now instead of still having so much to lose.
I'd definitely recommend getting a scale. The more accurate you are the more you can fit some of the things you want into your diet.
If you do the whole friends thing on here please feel free to add me.0 -
I just ate icecream for breakfast and I don't even usually eat breakfast...0
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I used to chew food up and then spit it out. My mum was always wondering where all the crisps and biscuits had gone which she bought the same day. Thank God that period of my life is over.
I did that as a teenager, not often, because it's really hard to not swallow, but I did it at times, I admit.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Why do I not feel the full signals? Why do I keep eating? Why do I undo all my hard work?
I have sat and eaten an entire vienetta, in less than 20 minutes. And I didn't even enjoy it that much, crappie chocolate flavouring. Also, the 8 or 10 caramel crispy bites I inhaled.
I suck and I'm never going to lose weight or climb mountains if I carry on like this
You do not suck. You are awesome! Tomorrow is another day!
I echo this! It's just one day at a time and we all slip. You are going to rock that mountain!
Thanks guys. I'm really struggling food wise at the moment
So am I. At this point I've been really worrying that I'll gain back everything I've lost (over sixty pounds, almost 30 kilos) if I can't somehow get whatever's messed up in my head fixed. :-/ I've already gained 10 kilos in the past few months... Even while struggling to stay "on the wagon"! 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Why do I not feel the full signals? Why do I keep eating? Why do I undo all my hard work?
I have sat and eaten an entire vienetta, in less than 20 minutes. And I didn't even enjoy it that much, crappie chocolate flavouring. Also, the 8 or 10 caramel crispy bites I inhaled.
I suck and I'm never going to lose weight or climb mountains if I carry on like this
You do not suck. You are awesome! Tomorrow is another day!
I echo this! It's just one day at a time and we all slip. You are going to rock that mountain!
Thanks guys. I'm really struggling food wise at the moment
So am I. At this point I've been really worrying that I'll gain back everything I've lost (over sixty pounds, almost 30 kilos) if I can't somehow get whatever's messed up in my head fixed. :-/ I've already gained 10 kilos in the past few months... Even while struggling to stay "on the wagon"!
Hugs to both of you!!
You can do it! I have confidence in you both. 0 -
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Glinda1971 wrote: »I'm sure you all remember me mentioning that my hubby ordered 3 more swimsuits because out of the other 4 he ordered, only 1 fit. Well, those three came in today. Two are identical bikinis only one is light blue and navy, and the other is coralish with gray. I tried them both on and surprisingly, I didn't feel like a flat chested sea cow. No offense to sea cows.
I asked him which he liked better. He said both. I asked him again which one he thought I should keep. He said both because they both looked good. His exact words were something along the lines of you look hot in both and you should keep both.
The third one didn't work because the top and bottoms didn't match (that's what happens when you buy from Amazon). The top was black and white with red trim, but the bottoms were pink with black and white trim. I was disappointed because I loved the bottoms. Oh well.
I went from having zero swimsuits or covers, to having 2 bikinis, an adorable monokini, and 2 swimsuit covers. Pretty exciting.
Yay!!
Lots of variety for your trip.
It will be so nice. I don't think I've ever had multiple swimsuits before. I'm mildly excited about wearing them too. Not super excited about having to shave my bikini area however.
Wax it. Now, so the skin has time to adjust by the time it goes on display.
If you can find a sugaring kit, even better. It cleans up a lot easier than wax.
eta spelling0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »I'm sure you all remember me mentioning that my hubby ordered 3 more swimsuits because out of the other 4 he ordered, only 1 fit. Well, those three came in today. Two are identical bikinis only one is light blue and navy, and the other is coralish with gray. I tried them both on and surprisingly, I didn't feel like a flat chested sea cow. No offense to sea cows.
I asked him which he liked better. He said both. I asked him again which one he thought I should keep. He said both because they both looked good. His exact words were something along the lines of you look hot in both and you should keep both.
The third one didn't work because the top and bottoms didn't match (that's what happens when you buy from Amazon). The top was black and white with red trim, but the bottoms were pink with black and white trim. I was disappointed because I loved the bottoms. Oh well.
I went from having zero swimsuits or covers, to having 2 bikinis, an adorable monokini, and 2 swimsuit covers. Pretty exciting.
Yay!!
Lots of variety for your trip.
It will be so nice. I don't think I've ever had multiple swimsuits before. I'm mildly excited about wearing them too. Not super excited about having to shave my bikini area however.
That's why I only wear swimming suits with skirts, lol. I'm 37 and I've never even trimmed anything down there, because loose hair freaks me out and I don't want to have to clean up the mess (ok and I'd have no idea how to do it anyway). Forget shaving or waxing, I always get horrible ingrown hair and I'll be damned if I even try it down there.
Speaking of swimsuits, I'm now very peeved because my period is a week late, which means I will probably get it right in the middle of our vacation next month. Our first real vacation in years... to the beach... and I don't do tampons.0 -
Thought of another confession. Sorry for posting so much. lol
In college, sometimes I would order 2 pizzas and cheesy bread on Friday night and ate it through the weekend. Sadly, Monday morning I would wake up to extremely swollen ankles--walking hurt them, guessing from the sodium. lol I maintained my weight mostly, because I was always walking around campus and it was on like a mountain! So it took a lot of energy. Although, I also didn't eat much during the week. I would definitely gain if I tried that now that I'm not active. lol0 -
FitForMaddy wrote: »williams969 wrote: »FitForMaddy wrote: »williams969 wrote: »I ate an entire 8oz. package of Philly cream cheese early this week (with a spoon, too LOL). Logged 2oz. a day over the next several days, as to hide my shameful binge.
To OP, no judgment from me (as you can see, I've only told you the least stupid thing I've done
)--but please stop the "homemade Sauna suit" for exercising. It does nothing good, and is potentially dangerous. Same goes for the overprice "Wrap" products. They "Don't" work (except for emptying your wallet).
Lol! It's okay williams I know you guys aren't being mean. I'm taking it off and jumping in the shower then drinking some good ole water. You're right it's stupid! Thanks for caring!
You got this! Thank you for taking the advice in the kind, yet strong, manner in which it was given. Yep, we ALL do stupid stuff. Umm, I had used one of those rubber/latex sport "waist trainers" after my last child was born--Oooh, horrible way to find out I am allergic to latex (and it didn't work, either, just gross blisters, despite wearing a cami under it).
Lol yeah we do! Just glad you guys know enough to tell me different because obviously I haven't looked up the actual risks myself until now. i really appreciate it! and man that sucks!
Lol, rabbitjb!0 -
I love Supernatural. I drive my DOH! nuts with it. Whenever I do something stupid, I throw my hands in the air and say, "Pudding!" (He is a "Men in Black" so when he does something stupid he says, "I put my pants on".)heartsstarspll wrote: »
I jointed my gym so I can watch Supernatural in the afternoon while I workout.
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I have a problem with taking diet pills and binge eating0
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Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Why do I not feel the full signals? Why do I keep eating? Why do I undo all my hard work?
I have sat and eaten an entire vienetta, in less than 20 minutes. And I didn't even enjoy it that much, crappie chocolate flavouring. Also, the 8 or 10 caramel crispy bites I inhaled.
I suck and I'm never going to lose weight or climb mountains if I carry on like this
You do not suck. You are awesome! Tomorrow is another day!
I echo this! It's just one day at a time and we all slip. You are going to rock that mountain!
Thanks guys. I'm really struggling food wise at the moment
So am I. At this point I've been really worrying that I'll gain back everything I've lost (over sixty pounds, almost 30 kilos) if I can't somehow get whatever's messed up in my head fixed. :-/ I've already gained 10 kilos in the past few months... Even while struggling to stay "on the wagon"!
Hugs to both of you!!
You can do it! I have confidence in you both.
I agree!! Just keep getting back on that wagon! You've got this! 0 -
judiness101 wrote: »I just ate icecream for breakfast and I don't even usually eat breakfast...
Yum! Sounds like my kind of breakfast!0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Why do I not feel the full signals? Why do I keep eating? Why do I undo all my hard work?
I have sat and eaten an entire vienetta, in less than 20 minutes. And I didn't even enjoy it that much, crappie chocolate flavouring. Also, the 8 or 10 caramel crispy bites I inhaled.
I suck and I'm never going to lose weight or climb mountains if I carry on like this
You do not suck. You are awesome! Tomorrow is another day!
I echo this! It's just one day at a time and we all slip. You are going to rock that mountain!
Thanks guys. I'm really struggling food wise at the moment
So am I. At this point I've been really worrying that I'll gain back everything I've lost (over sixty pounds, almost 30 kilos) if I can't somehow get whatever's messed up in my head fixed. :-/ I've already gained 10 kilos in the past few months... Even while struggling to stay "on the wagon"!
Hugs to both of you!!
You can do it! I have confidence in you both.
I agree!! Just keep getting back on that wagon! You've got this!
That's what I keep doing... It's probably the only thing that has stopped me from gaining back a LOT more than what I've gained. :-/ But my head feels so... Out of the game. I can't seem to get up any kind of motivation or willpower, and I just want to stuff my face half the time! Also, I'm having an unusual amount of hunger lately. 0
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