I need more help

This is not meant to be critical - just an observation.

From your description in your post, you're putting all of the blame on your wife, your family, the food, etc.

I think many of us will agree, to be successful, you need to stop playing the blame game, and focus on the one person you DO have control over. Yourself.

I understand it's hard to avoid sweets, but it's not impossible. Next time you find yourself reaching for one, pause just for a moment. Pre-log it into MFP and see if you can fit it in your goals. If yes, go ahead and have it. If not. STOP. You do have control over your actions.

Self control....

Look at the calorie amount on the box/search in MFP to find out calorie amount. Will this fit into your daily calories? If not, don't eat it.
And if you are the *only* one eating these sweets, then start throwing them in the trash as soon as they come in the house. If other people eat them, then move the sweets into a cupboard that *you* never use or somewhere out of sight so you won't be tempted when you walk into the kitchen.
And start doing the grocery shopping yourself. Your wife won't buy sweets if she isn't the one going to the store.

As a wife that has a family who is not watching what they eat I am the one that buys the treats for everyone else. It is all about deciding you are committed to your weight loss. It is all about will power. Yes it is tempting and sometimes it is ok to treat yourself. Like one person said if you can fit it into your calories then eat it and don't worry. If you can't fit it in have it another day where you can fit it in.

cyclepro405 wrote: »

I want to lose more weight but my wife/family are not supportive. They keep bringing in food (sweets) that I have not been able to resist and am therefore eating them. When I am out of the house I have no problem with my diet. However every time I go into the kitchen I am reaching for the wrong items. My wife says that she gets these deserts on sale and so she thinks that she is saving money. I keep pointing out that you are not saving money because we are eating them (mostly me). I am at the point where I just try to avoid the kitchen altogether.

I've found that logging diligently helps crystalize thinking about treats. If you eat a sweet, log it. If you go over your calories, you know what helped put you over. You'll think a little harder next time you reach for the sweet, and maybe make adjustments so you can have it.

Then again, what would happen if you don't eat the sweets? Would they just sit there or would someone else have them?

I don't disagree with all the posters that say that self-discipline is the key, but I feel like you're really just frustrated with the lack of a support system at home. Have a sit down discussion with your wife (and later family) that you want her to be a key part of your support system and that while you love that she keeps the budget and bottom line in mind when she shops and that she's thinking of treating you when picking out treats, that having her encouragement in your journey and being open to a dialoge about choosing healthier foods not just as individuals but as a family unit would mean the world to you. Outside of that, I see that this is your first post, get out there and build a support system on MFP!! Friend all the people on this post and reach out to them for encouragement and to celebrate your victories!!

CPhelps89 wrote: »

I don't disagree with all the posters that say that self-discipline is the key, but I feel like you're really just frustrated with the lack of a support system at home. Have a sit down discussion with your wife (and later family) that you want her to be a key part of your support system and that while you love that she keeps the budget and bottom line in mind when she shops and that she's thinking of treating you when picking out treats, that having her encouragement in your journey and being open to a dialoge about choosing healthier foods not just as individuals but as a family unit would mean the world to you. Outside of that, I see that this is your first post, get out there and build a support system on MFP!! Friend all the people on this post and reach out to them for encouragement and to celebrate your victories!!

Exactly.

One thing that has helped me (because I am seriously addicted to sugar), is to decide no refined sugar. A little bit is probably okay, but for me it's a slippery slope. I cannot eat just one. After I did this for a couple of weeks, I still have cravings, but not desperately. I do eat a ton of fruit, however.

A lot of things you can't quit cold turkey, but desserts are doable. I know the whole theory behind MFP is moderation and if it fits in your calorie allotment, it's okay. That wasn't working for me because a little bit made me want more and more and more. So, for me, having none is the only way to go (at least for now...)

I agree is it about self control and not your wife's actions or responsibility. However, as your life partner she might be willing to make some changes. I'd suggest asking her if she'd buy fewer of them (so say only 1 box on sale instead of more) and if she'd consider either buying mini items (so instead of buying eg. regular size croissants she'd buy mini ones which are fewer calories per croissant) or if she'd be at least willing to bring home the least calorie one that's on sale. This way, at least if you want one... it's fewer calories and you might have an easier time.

You could try working your number of servings down... so if you'd usually eat 3... eat 2 next time... then 1... until you feel like you can go without.

Or as another poster suggested, you can start grocery shopping instead. OR ask her to bring home other items instead! Things that are lower cal but that you still find a treat. Like maybe some raspberries and low fat Cool Whip so you can still have something desserty and quick, but isn't going to result in you cutting out a meal later or blowing your goal.

Also try imagining what ELSE you COULD eat for the same calories. I know that helps me. I can look at a strudel and go "Oh em gee, for 360 calories I could have a steak for that amount! I like steak better... I shall have a steak instead".

I think that the whole "my wife/husband/SO buys junk food and I choose to eat it, wah s/he's so unsupportive" thing is utter rubbish. When I was 55 pounds fatter, I ate more than my fair share of food, both "junk" and "health" foods. I decided that I wanted to lose weight so I made the conscious choice to limit my portions. Did my husband? Nope, not at all. Did that affect how much weight I lost? Nope, not at all.

Take responsibility for yourself or just quit now. Unless your wife is sitting on your chest and shoving desserts down your gullet, she has no blame in your choice to ingest too many calories. It's all on you.

I struggle with the "if it's in the house then I'll eat it" for certain foods.

How about, when you see the treats, put them in the cupboard. I find that I forget about them better that way. It doesn't help me when I'm emotional and craving food fulfillment, but it certainly does help me forget about them on an average day.

Case in point... If I leave a bag of doritos out on the counter, I'll grab a handful or two every time I walk by it. Sometimes, I'll just grab the whole damn bag.

If I put them in the cupboard - that bag lasts me weeks. I go in, take a few, put it away again.

I'd also sit down and talk to your wife. Are there treats that are not irresistable to you? Tell her that you are really struggling to get healthier, and would like her to consider buying those kinds instead - or putting them in the cupboard as soon as she gets home.