How to fail at weight loss

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245

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  • littttlelaurra
    littttlelaurra Posts: 229 Member
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    oh crap there goes my food diary lol
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Hahaha! Love it ;)

    My favorite to "agree" with is carbs. Got to cut the carbs out completely.. because never mind that they make your brain FUNCTION! ;)
    :bigsmile:
  • crackerjack345
    crackerjack345 Posts: 129 Member
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    Don't forget- Coffee and diet soda counts as WATER!
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    Eat only one meal a day that helps cut calories......
  • pandafoo
    pandafoo Posts: 367 Member
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    I love this! If I ever want to reverse my weight loss progress just for fun, I'll turn to this thread!

    Some extras:
    -Set unrealistic goals such as losing 5 lbs a week or having net calories around -500 daily!
    -If you don't see immediate weight loss after a couple days of healthy eating, it must be because you gained muscle
    -It's okay to throw common sense out the window when trying to lose weight

    :smile:
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    Eat toilet paper its light and helps fill your stomach......
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
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    don't eat fuits or veggies because they have carbs!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Eat toilet paper its light and helps fill your stomach......

    omg I saw a lady on TV that did this. She ate toilet paper all the time, like a roll a day. IDK how she didn't die. :sick:
  • mamijujuphat
    mamijujuphat Posts: 407 Member
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    Counting calories is stupid!!....:laugh:
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    Absolutely no exercise.
    All you need is portion control and "diet" pills.
    Eat all the fast foods that you like as long as you stay under your calorie goal.
    And don't forget the zero calorie sodas, especially the brown ones.
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    Cheat at logging (because if it isn't logged, it didn't happen).

    Guess at your portion sizes, rounding down (by 50% or more).

    Surfing through the exercises to find the one similar to what you did that has the highest calorie burn and logging that (cause if you log it, you can eat it).

    Have cheat meals every other day (because you earned it!).
  • Fesse
    Fesse Posts: 611
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    and DON"T ask for support from friends, what are they good for anyways........

    And please for goodness sakes don't post any progress or before and after shots, who wants to see that really?
  • yyzdnl
    yyzdnl Posts: 127 Member
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    Never do sit ups or crunches because they won't target your belly fat.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    :laugh:
  • outersoul
    outersoul Posts: 711
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    Don't incorporate weight lifting because it's just going to bulk you up.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
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    You forgot:

    --Be sure to ask for help. But, if anyone suggests that you need to change what you're doing, be sure to yell at them and tell them they just don't "get" how your body works.

    --Consume unlimited amounts of sodium.

    --Accept avery change in the scale as absolute truth and give up the first time the scale goes up by 0.2 pounds.
  • UpToAnyCool
    UpToAnyCool Posts: 1,673
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    Believe that there is one magic secret or pill or eating plan, not lots of small changes you can make incrementally over time to make healthier choices.

    Believe THIS IS JUST A TEMPORARY DIET for now.

    Go on a very low calorie diet, one that has a HUGE differential between your future maintenance allotment and what you are allowed to eat now. Yup, you'll lose weight quickly and your pants will be loose, but it will be hard to bump up to your future maintenance amount, and um, oh - you might have lost muscle mass so your metabolism might be slower than it would have been had you lost the weight at a slower rate.


    And....drumroll....Drink back all your exercise calories in alcohol <== :embarassed: :noway: guilty. working on it.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    The second you have any kind of adversity, quit. If you go over your calories once, you're a failure.
  • SunLovin1
    SunLovin1 Posts: 682 Member
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    Never do sit ups or crunches because they won't target your belly fat.

    Well, they don't "target" belly fat, but they do build the muscle! I can't wait to lose the fat over what I'm sure are some killer six pack abs.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
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    Drink as much soda as you can tolerate. It's the same as water, only gives you more energy.

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