Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

Caitwn wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

Oh wow I totally missed this, thanks for posting @caitwn!

Glad you like it! I think part of the issue with missing posts here isn't so much that the thread is busy (though that's part of it), but it's more that when folks respond, they tend to quote the ENTIRE POST they are replying to, including lengthy blocks of text and/or images and photos. It doesn't take long to burn through multiple pages that way, and bury other new posts in the process.

Another issue on message boards like this one is when people respond with a separate post to every person they are replying to, rather than combining responses in a single post, with individual callouts like "@LBuerhle38, thanks for that feedback!", followed by individual call-outs to others you're replying to. Honestly, handling responses that way is an expectation on a lot of boards because it's considered to be courteous to other posters. I haven't really pushed the issue here because I know nobody is deliberately trying to bury new posts or to 'drown out' other posts with pages of repeated big photos/blocks of text. But it is maybe worth taking a second to think about before hitting that 'quote' + 'reply'.

kellienw335 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.

I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.

I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.

So sorry that you are having a hard time. Fasting can't be easy. Be nice to yourself and NEVER forget that you are SUPER GREAT!

LH85DC wrote: »

Sorry I've been MIA friends, I've been busy at work and was on the go all weekend. I'm also super hungry right now... eating everything in sight! Should still be under goal for the day, assuming I eat the dinner that I have planned out.

BTW- thanks to whoever in this thread clued me into the Fiber One lemon bars. They are delicious. Now I just need some self-control so that I don't gobble them all down during TOM this week. Yikes!

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.

I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.

I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.

So sorry that you are having a hard time. Fasting can't be easy. Be nice to yourself and NEVER forget that you are SUPER GREAT!

Thank you. I don't feel super great right now, but I've stayed in my calorie goal today and exercised. It's a start.

quiksylver296 wrote: »

This one is pretty awesome...it should be a Friday thread.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10193742/why-am-i-gaining-weight/p2

crosbylee wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

crosbylee wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.

I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.

I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.

Please keep coming back here. We have times when we are down on ourselves. I know that fasting has to be difficult. I would probably have the same reaction. Any chance you can plan what you will have to break the fast and stick to that? You are not worthless, you are worth more than you know.

Usually I do--I plan out the day as Suhoor (pre-dawn meal), Iftar (fast break meal), and then dinner. But lately I just haven't CARED, and after iftar I just mow down all kinds of food. Cookies, bread, hummus, peanut butter chips, just anything.

I just can't seem to bring myself to care enough to stick to my plan, it has nothing to do with hunger or anything like that, or even a reaction to fasting all day (keep in mind that I've been fasting for over 10 years, I'm very used to it--I don't usually react this way at all! I'm sure it isn't the fasting). I end up eating way over and then just deleting everything from my log for the day. :-/

No way I'm leaving this thread, I've been here since day one and I'm not going anywhere.

Good thing. We would all miss you if you weren't here. I loved your book by the way. Maybe it is time for a break and reevaluate a bit.

riderfangal wrote: »

I finally broke that 40lb loss goal today. I was stuck at 39 for what felt like forever but this morning down 2.5. I was happy I nearly cried. Over half way to my goal of 80

KylerJaye wrote: »

yesterday afternoon i had plans to take my mom to see jurassic world. yesterday we also had a massive storm that dumped tons of rain. it was still slightly raining when i left the house to meet her at the theater. of course i'm perpetually late for everything and was probably driving a smidge too fast for the road conditions.

then i started to fishtail on the four lane highway, and i completely can't pull out of it, totally lose control, the car does a full 360 spin across the two lanes of oncoming traffic and i bounce off of the opposing guardrail.

by some tiny miracle, no one was coming when i crossed lanes. if anyone had been, i probably would have killed them and myself. so i'm on the wrong side of the road facing the wrong direction. see no one coming at me head on, and drive back over to the right side of the road to a stoplight. this dude pulls up in the lane next to me and is like ARE YOU OK?!?!! i'm all shaky and say yeah, i think so. light turns green and i drive on to the theater like everything is fine.

i meet up with my mom and i'm like, i think i might have just almost died, and explain the whole thing to her and she's like... well maybe you should slow the hell down. and i say no, this was REALLY scary, and she's just like yeah, i've done it before too. slow down.

thanks mom!

confession: my mother's total lack of empathy and concern really ticks me off sometimes....

MoHousdon wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Glinda1971 wrote: »

AngryViking1970 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.


Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!

Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.

From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.

My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.


Now for stepdaughter news.

She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.

I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!

I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!

TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.

Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.

+1

A mix of yays and hugs for you.

Thanks!

kellienw335 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.

TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.

That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)

He wanted to be, we both did.

When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.

In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.

He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.

Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.

There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.

Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.

I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.

Also hoping for you that this can be resolved. Maybe you both need to take a step back and let her do whatever she needs to do for a while, making it clear that you won't be walked over, but you do want her in your lives. I'm sure that the mother is poisonous and not helping things, but one day she'll figure things out for herself. I'm sorry that your husband is so hurt - he sounds like a lovely man who doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

What's the latest on the cat?

Thanks, @Tubbs216 . He IS a lovely man and he deserves better than this. That woman is poisonous and I'm glad he got away from her. He texted me earlier that he's going to try and talk to her because he was a little upset about yesterday.

Oh, the cat. We've been trying to keep her out of the room as much as possible, but then she tears up other things, like my couch or my husbands hands/legs/arms. I'm going to tell Husband tonight that she has until tomorrow to find a place for her cat, or I will. No more Mrs. Nice Mo.

I feel silly referring to my honey as "Husband", but I also think it's kind of cute. Maybe for future reference, I will refer to him as Mr. Mo. I like that because it reminds me of the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel get married in Vegas.

MoHousdon wrote: »

Caitwn wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

Oh wow I totally missed this, thanks for posting @caitwn!

Glad you like it! I think part of the issue with missing posts here isn't so much that the thread is busy (though that's part of it), but it's more that when folks respond, they tend to quote the ENTIRE POST they are replying to, including lengthy blocks of text and/or images and photos. It doesn't take long to burn through multiple pages that way, and bury other new posts in the process.

Another issue on message boards like this one is when people respond with a separate post to every person they are replying to, rather than combining responses in a single post, with individual callouts like "@LBuerhle38, thanks for that feedback!", followed by individual call-outs to others you're replying to. Honestly, handling responses that way is an expectation on a lot of boards because it's considered to be courteous to other posters. I haven't really pushed the issue here because I know nobody is deliberately trying to bury new posts or to 'drown out' other posts with pages of repeated big photos/blocks of text. But it is maybe worth taking a second to think about before hitting that 'quote' + 'reply'.

I am guilty of the above infraction and I apologize. I've tried several times to delete anything I'm not personally responding to or do multiple responses in once reply, but I often screw it up and have to start all over again.

kbmnurse wrote: »

I still sneak a smoke once in a awhile. UGGGG I know

MoHousdon wrote: »

CountessKitteh wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Glinda1971 wrote: »

AngryViking1970 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.


Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!

Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.

From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.

My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.


Now for stepdaughter news.

She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.

I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!

I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!

TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.

Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.

+1

A mix of yays and hugs for you.

Thanks!

kellienw335 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.

TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.

That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)

He wanted to be, we both did.

When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.

In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.

He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.

Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.

There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.

Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.

I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.

It's a bit weird to me that she would get like this AFTER trying to find him. My mom had a restraining order against my biological father when I was little, and he signed away his legal right to me, but she would have let me get to know him if I'd wanted. Even now, if I decided I wanted to find him and have a relationship, she'd support me.

For what it's worth, I don't want to know him. I know enough about why there was a restraining order in the first place, and know he would occasionally run into my mom's younger sister (who is a terrible human being - not judgement, just fact) who would give him updates about me (without asking me, of course). I look at it like he never made the effort to follow up, even once I was an adult and my mom couldn't stop him.

I do sometimes wonder if I have half siblings somewhere, but I'm not sure I want to start that kind of relationship at this point even if I did. Too much pressure, you know?

I can imagine her being totally conflicted at only 19, when I'm still unsure at 31. Especially with a strong negative influence behind her. She may just need time (and space - possibly from both sides) to figure out what she wants.

Here's hoping that she comes around!

Thanks & sorry, @CountessKitteh I too had a loser bio dad.

I want her to figure out what she wants, but I will not let her let my husband pay the emotional price (so to speak) while she does it. We are by no means forcing her to have a relationship with us if that's not what she wants, but I will also not continue to pay for her car while my husband is driving a truck older than all the people in this thread if she doesn't want to be a part of our lives. That sounds really heartless I'm sure, but I have to be honest.