My spouse is sabotaging my diet!

My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...
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Replies

  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Is she shoving them down your throat? No.

    So she made some goodies. You're not obligated to eat them.

    Alternatively, you can just eat them and fit them into your calorie goal. There's nothing wrong with brownies and cheesecake.

    Also, can I move in? Your wife sounds like my kind of person. I want random texts of baked goodies on my phone too.
  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
    Lol. Stay strong. I have to cook and bake for three adults every day. I don't eat any of it. Stick to your goals and you'll get where you want to be :)
  • rmitchell239
    rmitchell239 Posts: 124 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    Is she shoving them down your throat? No.

    So she made some goodies. You're not obligated to eat them.

    Alternatively, you can just eat them and fit them into your calorie goal. There's nothing wrong with brownies and cheesecake.

    Also, can I move in? Your wife sounds like my kind of person. I want random texts of baked goodies on my phone too.

    This was great! Brownie required a run :/ a piece of cheese cake is probably 3 miles.
  • DennyB1964
    DennyB1964 Posts: 31 Member
    edited July 2015
    I live with my boyfriend, who is the "always lean no matter what" type, and my son, who plays rugby and is a long distance runner. Eating the way I do would mess them both up pretty seriously, and eating the way they do... well, that's why I'm here.

    I've had this discussion with them before. My son brings in a lot of food and then eats it right away. If he's eating 2 cups of white rice or a 4 pound burrito, it's his and it's gone, so it's not as much of an issue.

    My boyfriend, on the other hand, can't understand how he can have ice cream and cookies every night and still weigh less than I do. And I kind of understand that because I used to be the same way. But concussions, age, menopause and various other joys of being me have all made that a distant memory.

    He's finally seeing that I'm not gorging at work and then pretending to eat lightly at home. And he watched me post on another forum the miles I walk each week. So he knows it's a real problem. What he does now is make sure that I have something I really like as an option if he's going to be buying cookies. If it's ice cream, he tends to pick something that's a "meh" flavor for me. Fruit is in a large glass bowl on the counter, while cookies are on top of the fridge.

    But honestly, there comes a point where you just have to own it. It sucks that life isn't fair, but that's the reality.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,585 Member
    Oh, it's tough isn't it?

    Seriously, is she okay with your weight loss or unhappy that you're trying? My husband keeps telling me that he likes me the way I am and I know he means it but I'm not happy with it and what I'll look like in 20 or 30 years if I don't take care of myself now. He hasn't actually gone so far as to bake me a cheesecake, though.
  • Alassonde
    Alassonde Posts: 228 Member
    I have a co-worker who is always bringing cookies and cake to work. I generally don't eat them because I'm not going to waste calories unless it is chocolate! She actually told me I'm rude for not eating food she brings in. I told her it would only be rude if I ASKED her specifically to bring it in and then refused to eat it.
  • haj0808
    haj0808 Posts: 51 Member
    Is it possible to get her to try to find some deserts that you guys can both partake in fruit salads. Bite size deserts. Nothing is wrong with sweets it's simply not something you can get everyday and all the time. The trick is not getting involved in everyone else's hang ups.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,257 Member
    Ha! My wife is the same way and would be a very successful baker were she not a molecular biologist.

    Damn those brownies!
  • willnorton
    willnorton Posts: 995 Member
    tell me about it....my wife is skinny as a rail and can eat anything.......sometimes i think she is trying to kill me off.....
  • rmitchell239
    rmitchell239 Posts: 124 Member
    SueInAz wrote: »
    Oh, it's tough isn't it?

    Seriously, is she okay with your weight loss or unhappy that you're trying? My husband keeps telling me that he likes me the way I am and I know he means it but I'm not happy with it and what I'll look like in 20 or 30 years if I don't take care of myself now. He hasn't actually gone so far as to bake me a cheesecake, though.

    I think she likes me fatter. She told me last night, I'm out if I lose my rear end. She was probably joking. Ha ha I'm the girl of the relationship, now you'll have to excuse me I have to go and do some squats and lunges at the gym...
  • MrsGreco
    MrsGreco Posts: 134 Member
    Have a brownie or some cheesecake...but work it into your daily calorie limit. It's all about moderation! :smile:
  • DuckReconMajor
    DuckReconMajor Posts: 434 Member
    Raviv64 wrote: »
    I live with my boyfriend, who is the "always lean no matter what" type, and my son, who plays rugby and is a long distance runner. Eating the way I do would mess them both up pretty seriously, and eating the way they do... well, that's why I'm here.
    My stepmom and step-siblings are like this. The pantry at my parents' house always looked like the Hostess truck came by and stocked it. Once I moved out it became much easier to improve my diet. But with MFP/logging it's become much easier to keep control of my diet while in such an environment.
  • ercarroll311
    ercarroll311 Posts: 295 Member
    My wife baked brownies last night. I ate 1/2 of one. I told her she was not supportive of my diet. I even used a little whiny girl voice "you don't understand, I have my mother's thighs! It's so hard." She only laughed..haha but seriously she just texted me a picture of a cheese cake in the oven...

    Does she struggle with weight and just hasn't found the motivation yet, or is she happy with her own weight? It could, and most likely is, innocent, but it could also be her not wanting you to start looking better than her, if that makes sense.

    But I agree with those who have said that you just have to handle it. There will be temptation everywhere, forever. It sucks that it's in your own home and in your texts, but it's also on your drive home from work or a friend's party, etc. In times like that I ask myself if I can stay strong for one day. Just today, can I stick to my goals. That makes avoiding these things forever seem much less daunting.

    And you could fit it in for the day, maybe just half a brownie or a sliver of cake if you're that strong (I'm not).

  • rmitchell239
    rmitchell239 Posts: 124 Member
    Alassonde wrote: »
    I have a co-worker who is always bringing cookies and cake to work. I generally don't eat them because I'm not going to waste calories unless it is chocolate! She actually told me I'm rude for not eating food she brings in. I told her it would only be rude if I ASKED her specifically to bring it in and then refused to eat it.

    You must work with my wife. I got into trouble one day for not eating barbque pork ribs out of a crockpot. Her reply "just go run 5 miles and burn it off." Love me some ribs...unless I have to run 5 miles for them.
  • rmitchell239
    rmitchell239 Posts: 124 Member
    haj0808 wrote: »
    Is it possible to get her to try to find some deserts that you guys can both partake in fruit salads. Bite size deserts. Nothing is wrong with sweets it's simply not something you can get everyday and all the time. The trick is not getting involved in everyone else's hang ups.

    Good advice!
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,585 Member
    edited July 2015
    SueInAz wrote: »
    Oh, it's tough isn't it?

    Seriously, is she okay with your weight loss or unhappy that you're trying? My husband keeps telling me that he likes me the way I am and I know he means it but I'm not happy with it and what I'll look like in 20 or 30 years if I don't take care of myself now. He hasn't actually gone so far as to bake me a cheesecake, though.

    I think she likes me fatter. She told me last night, I'm out if I lose my rear end. She was probably joking. Ha ha I'm the girl of the relationship, now you'll have to excuse me I have to go and do some squats and lunges at the gym...

    Literally laughing out loud!

    Honestly, my cube-mate did this to me this morning. I brought my Greek yogurt with berries for breakfast and some tuna salad for lunch and had planned this day where I was going to be really good... and she shows up with 13 Dunkin' Donuts. A dozen for everyone else and the kind she knows is my favorite in a separate bag because she forgot to have them put that kind in with the dozen. She's not the sabotaging kind, it was pure thoughtfulness and so there was no way I wasn't going to eat that donut.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    what's to stop the two of you just talking to one another about it? this sounds like kind of a tangle of gestures and interpretations to me.
  • moosiemom
    moosiemom Posts: 70 Member
    It's a test of your willpower. The more you control yourself, the stronger you become.
    But... I hope she doesn't get "hurt" if you only take a bite or two. If she does, then you'll just have to make room in your calorie budget.
    She's probably just teasing you...
  • socalkay
    socalkay Posts: 746 Member
    edited July 2015
    Alas, the world goes on around us without any consideration for our efforts to lose weight and get healthy. I think eating one half brownie was a brilliant solution but I can also dig that there's the rest of the pan calling your name. While we can't make everybody change for our needs, I think we do have a right to expect some support from family and friends. Try talking to her again (sans whiny voice) about what your goals are... make one of them something like 'so I'm around to love and take care of you for many years to come'. Let her know how it makes you feel when she sends photos of cheesecake. In my opinion, that's not funny, that's subversive.
  • peaceout_aly
    peaceout_aly Posts: 2,018 Member
    I am guilty of making tons of baked goods knowing that my boyfriend will singlehandedly finish them off. There's some kind of satisfaction for a woman knowing your man is well fed :)