females lifting heavy get bigger -_-

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  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    yeah then no worries about getting "bulky" but your body can and will change and you will get stronger. which are both great things.
  • MamaBirdBoss
    MamaBirdBoss Posts: 1,516 Member
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    ...What? If you weigh the same, you'll be smaller if more is muscle.

    Drop some mass if you think you're big. You have plenty of room for it.
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    yeah then no worries about getting "bulky" but your body can and will change and you will get stronger. which are both great things.

    Thank you. I'm still excited underneath the crap getting in my head
  • Kriistabell
    Kriistabell Posts: 181 Member
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    MamaBirdBoss wrote: »
    ...What? If you weigh the same, you'll be smaller if more is muscle.

    Drop some mass if you think you're big. You have plenty of room for it.
    My family doesn't seem to get that and they don't let up. I'm planning to lose at least 11 more pounds. I'll see what I think once I get there and decide what to do. I plan on losing the weight with an iifym diet and by lifting heavy. My family thinks that's absurd and never stops telling me.
  • ffbrown25
    ffbrown25 Posts: 110 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Our society's beauty standards for women are ridiculous. We are all 'taught,' consciously or unconsciously, that smaller (read: weaker), petite women are more attractive because that panders to male insecurity. It's insulting. Get strong, girl! As long as you feel good and comfortable in your skin, that's all that matters. And bodies are malleable. Most things you do to your body can be undone (eventually) if you decide you don't like their effects.

    ETA: Also, you probs won't bulk up if you're eating at a deficit. So noooo worries. :smile:
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
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    I'm actually very impatient to get to my goal weight because the idea of a recomp or even a bulk/cut sounds so exciting because MUSCLES.

    Love what you have, girl. Everyone else is irrelevant.
  • CarlydogsMom
    CarlydogsMom Posts: 645 Member
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    "My family doesn't seem to get that and they don't let up. I'm planning to lose at least 11 more pounds. I'll see what I think once I get there and decide what to do. I plan on losing the weight with an iifym diet and by lifting heavy. My family thinks that's absurd and never stops telling me."

    Families, and many times the parents, push your buttons--right? They know what to say to get into your head. Don't forget it was probably them that set you up to have those buttons to push in the first place by the way you were raised. We all have that. Re-set those buttons.

    There is so much more to weight lifting than building muscles and mass. Will it happen? Maybe, for someone like you who may be prone to show muscles, but regardless, you're still female and pre-disposed to NOT become some hulk. But "strength" is something that has so many more benefits than just building those muscles. You are setting yourself up to be able to withstand the normal aging process so much better than someone who is not nurturing their muscles. You are setting yourself up for a much more comfortable life, you'll have abilities for physical movement that will carry you through decades; help you recover from injury faster; help your bones stay strong--there is simply NO DOWN SIDE to lifting weights.

    I would almost guarantee you that if you become comfortable, committed, and able to lift weights, that confidence will carry you to a much greater mental and emotional place than where you are now (uncertain, questioning). Strength manifests itself in every aspect of our lives--physical, mental, emotional. Enjoy the ride.

    And love your body. Man, now that I'm 53 and seeing the inevitable, I wish I hadn't wasted so much time in my 20's and 30's complaining about my big thighs or my big nose or WHATEVER...all that crap focused about not having a certain look is just that...crap. I'll take my cottage-cheesy thighs any day; they've carried me up Grand Canyon and can haul my butt on a mountain bike for 20+ miles--they're grrrreeeeaattt!!!!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    Kriistabell wrote: »
    Hi. Let me start with I'm 5'8, 176#, about 26% body fat, and enjoy challenging myself with weight lifting. I'm not petite and my family won't let me forget it. My profile pic is from last year when I was 11 pounds lighter and lifting.I'm getting back on track after losing 11 pounds on weight watchers and not liking how my body looked from just cardio and deficit in calories. So, I joined the juice head gym by me because it's cheap and has a lot of great equipment. It's only been a week but I'm really excited and proud of how determined I am and how I feel like I know what I'm doing with my form and what whatever. I'm also following iifym and tracking everything. Ihave already lost 2.2 more pounds in this first week.

    That being said, my family is discouraging me because I'm very muscular (with chub on top) and have a larger bone structure (wide shoulders). I have my mother's horrendous arms that run in my family like you wouldn't believe, a naturally xlarge behind, and strong, big, thighs. I've been an athlete through college so I have a lot of strength for a girl. So far I sound gigantic. But, my waist is rather small, and my knees and elbows down are boney. So in short - I'm a bulky girl. I'm not fat but I'm not the kind of girl you say is thin either. I'd like to get smaller overall but keep my proportions for the most part because they make me feel feminine. My family is telling me when regular (petite) girls lift heavy they can look good but not me because I've got a large frame. They are getting in my head and after going to the beach yesterday all I could see were my bulky, non-petite flaws and I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing. I'd really love (I really need) some insight on this! Thanks mfps
    Tell your family to go f*** themselves.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    You won't get bulky.

    I have extra testosterone due to a medical issue. In spite of that, neither lifting nor moving toward lifting heavier have made me bulkier.

    How are you petite at 5'8" with wide shoulders? It sounds like you are just strong and solid. Embrace that and go lift some more heavy things. :)
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    isnt petite anything under 5'4? correct me if Im wrong unless you mean a smaller frame.
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
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    Do you have the type of family that would be comfortable with you saying "Shut the f up and mind your own business."? If so, do it. If not, do it.

    That's all I got.
  • SuperJo1972
    SuperJo1972 Posts: 113 Member
    edited July 2015
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    People who don't exercise don't get it. We each have an underlying body type. We can make the most of it, and alter it to an extent with diet and exercise, but we can't alter our underlying bone structure or predisposed shape. //
    My mum recently shocked me by saying that she didn't understand how Serena Williams had so much stamina, since she was a bit chubby.
    I did ask if she was watching the same match as me, but she grew up at a time when fit equalled slender and when there were no strong female role models. She didn't see the strength. (I did point it out to her and she was surprised but impressed).
    I think the world of tennis is a great example of how we can all work with our natural bodyshape and obtain different results which look vastly different but which allow us all to become fit, healthy and strong. All different heights, shapes and sizes, but all with the ability to improve.
    I love the idea of getting fitter and stronger, yet I know some people think that is not ideal.
    I say, get healthier and fitter, if you want to get strong, lift. don't worry about anyone else, your opinion of your body is the only one that matters.
  • Pittleydink
    Pittleydink Posts: 68 Member
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    I am curious to know how much weight you lift in various lifts? Can you give some of your best lifts and/or how much you lift for reps on average?
  • andylllI
    andylllI Posts: 379 Member
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    Keep doing you. Are your family members trainers or coaches? No? Then they have no f'in clue what they are talking about. If I'd listened to my family i would be one unhappy lady since over the years they have come out with such gems as "don't go to x school it's too hard just do something less demanding" and "are you sure you want to marry that guy?"

    Nb: love both my career and my husband like crazy balls.

    Family member are more often than not idiots and not the people you should take advice from. Take advice from experts in the field. If you want help with your body or how you perceive it there are experts that can help. Some of them are quite generous with their time and knowledge on these boards and one of those experts had already replied to you (hint she has amaze all abs and is the author of many great threads).

    Take care. You look great and you are strong and love being strong and that imho is so much more important than appearance.
  • senecarr
    senecarr Posts: 5,377 Member
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    I wouldn't listen to your family, it is your body, so long as it is healthy, make your body into whatever YOU want.
    Also, when did wide shoulders become a bad thing? Maybe I'm stuck in the 80s, but I remember shoulder pads being popular to look like your shoulders were bigger. Societal definitions of beauty will always be capricious I guess.
  • andylllI
    andylllI Posts: 379 Member
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    Can I say it again for emphasis:

    Family members are, more often than not, idiots.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Petite = 5'3'
    AT 5'8" you are "tall." :smiley:
    Your family lacks basic boundaries. Family members should not be talking about each like that.
    They are beyond weird.
    THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. :/
    Quit talking to them about your body and your workouts.
    Refuse to engage. Honor your own boundaries. Respect your privacy.
    Enjoy how much you appreciate yourself and how much you have been accomplishing. <3
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
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    Tell your family either nicely, or not so nicely to stfu, and then grab this year's issue of SI's "Body issue" and read about the US hammer thrower featured in it.
  • TFaustino67
    TFaustino67 Posts: 551 Member
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    In addition to working out, you should work on your mindset.

    First post I've seen mindset mentioned - +10. This site really needs a rep button.
  • Drewlssix
    Drewlssix Posts: 272 Member
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    Kriistabell wrote: »

    I'm so sorry your family does that to you. It does sound similar to the women in mine. My father is very fit, but in a different way than I want to be. He only does yoga and body weight exercises. When he chimes in with what my mom is saying is when I start listening because he's 60 and he can do 20 pushups, then 20 pullups back to back for 3 sets and then can hold a headstand for 5 minutes. So when he speaks I listen, but he makes it seem like his way is the only right way. Thanks for your suppory and I am really sorry your family doesn't give you credit. I know how it feels and it is very hurtful.

    Hey, a calisthenics based routine is fantastic and practically free compared to a gym. And if you want to integrate that into your life I would say go for it, if not then don't worry about what dad says. Everyone who discovers something that improves their life tends to believe everyone else would benefit also, but you have yours and that's what needs to come first.

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