For the guys...women can answer to :-)
madhatter2013
Posts: 1,547 Member
My hubby has been getting discouraged lately and I'm not sure how to help him. He really got serious about this journey about 5 months ago. He started out at 330 lbs and he's 6'3". In the first few months he was doing only cardio and dropped his calories to 1800 a day. He lost a good 30 lbs. About a month ago he started SL 5X5 and dropped his calories to around 1600. He also drinks a little more than half his weight in ounces of water. Also, in the last month he's gained almost 10 lbs back. I weigh his food and supervise his logging because I know how inaccurate some things logged can be. I've been doing this for almost 2 years and have lost 50 lbs so I'm pretty seasoned at knowing what I'm doing here, hence, I help him out. Other people live with us so I know what he tells me he eats during the day is accurate. Here's the problem. I know that when you start a new routine you need to give it at least 6 weeks to see positive changes. I know the number on the scale is not an accurate reflection of his progress. I also know that you cannot gain muscle eating at a deficit, however, his clothes are just getting tighter and tighter. Now I've explained to him that it may be his muscles swelling a bit from retaining water to recoup from his workouts, however, I’m not a guy. I know how MY body reacts to the things I do to it. I have no idea what kind of advise to give him. I know that if he’s patient, he will start to see and feel the results he’s wanting, I just don’t know how to help him through this transition. I need to know what to say to him and how I can reassure him that what he is doing is helping and not hindering. Is it normal for clothes to get tighter before they get looser?
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If he's 6'3" and around 300 and gaining on 1600, he has a medical condition or he eating while out of the house.
ETA: I can gain upwards of 8 pounds in a day from excess sodium and retention and it doesn't make a huge difference at my size. I doubt 8 pounds at his size would make much difference, either. It's probably not water.0 -
I know that the more muscle you have the more water you can retain. My husband is naturally very muscular (lucky guy) and after lifting he can retain up to 7lbs in water- which disspates after about 2 days. I only ever retain 1/2 pound (which shows how little muscle I have!). If it's not dissapating then maybe it's not water?0
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I'm not a guy but I've been lifting for a while. I always swell when I workout. Pants get tight on the thighs, sleeves get tight, etc. Even if I run my legs swell.
Over time those same pants start getting loose on the waist-shirts start hanging off a bit. I continue to swell as I get smaller-but as overall size decreases the clothes will start to get looser anyway.
He just has to wait it out. When I have times like this i focus on my lifts and my strength-as long as he's consistent the weight will come off-maybe even in one big whoosh, which is always fun.0 -
I'm not a guy but I've been lifting for a while. I always swell when I workout. Pants get tight on the thighs, sleeves get tight, etc. Even if I run my legs swell.
Over time those same pants start getting loose on the waist-shirts start hanging off a bit. I continue to swell as I get smaller-but as overall size decreases the clothes will start to get looser anyway.
He just has to wait it out. When I have times like this i focus on my lifts and my strength-as long as he's consistent the weight will come off-maybe even in one big whoosh, which is always fun.
This is good. This will help him to realize that he's not that special snowflake that barely eats yet gains weight (like most newbies to the journey).Whitezombiegirl wrote: »I know that the more muscle you have the more water you can retain. My husband is naturally very muscular (lucky guy) and after lifting he can retain up to 7lbs in water- which disspates after about 2 days. I only ever retain 1/2 pound (which shows how little muscle I have!). If it's not dissapating then maybe it's not water?
This is did not know. My husband is also naturally muscular. His fat is all in his midsection. His legs are barely fat at all, just muscle. That could be why his pants are his only issue for now.0 -
Hello, I am also 6'3 and was 340 pounds ex powerlifter/shot putter/weightlifter, but have lost around 30 pounds and continue to lose 2 pounds every week. My goal is to be 270.
The problem with your hubby's diet is that a 330 pound body requires more than 1600-1800 calories due to energy requirements and expenditure, sounds like he has hit a plateau.
The body has an adaptive survival mechanism which kicks in and it causes retention of more fat to be stored and to deal with what it believes is imminent starvation, bloating can also be because of high sodium intake and or kidney issues.
My advice would be to cycle calories either in an ascending and or an descending fashion where by he starts the week with 1600 and works his way up to 2500 calories and does the opposite the next week so the body cannot adapt.
I would break down the macros in a 20% carbs, 50% protein and 30% fat ratio.
Of course for any diet to work depends on age, physically activity level, body type, physical condition and nutrition.
Just curious, what's his training routine like? What time of the day does he eat? Foods that he typically eats?0 -
He's eating more than what you're weighing and portioning out to him.
One doesn't gain 10 pounds on a deficit - especially that kind of deficit (large) at 300 pounds. It's just not physically possible.
Find out about his extra, secret calories he's hiding.
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Hello, I am also 6'3 and was 340 pounds ex powerlifter/shot putter/weightlifter, but have lost around 30 pounds and continue to lose 2 pounds every week. My goal is to be 270.
The problem with your hubby's diet is that a 330 pound body requires more than 1600-1800 calories due to energy requirements and expenditure, sounds like he has hit a plateau.
The body has an adaptive survival mechanism which kicks in and it causes retention of more fat to be stored and to deal with what it believes is imminent starvation, bloating can also be because of high sodium intake and or kidney issues.
My advice would be to cycle calories either in an ascending and or an descending fashion where by he starts the week with 1600 and works his way up to 2500 calories and does the opposite the next week so the body cannot adapt.
I would break down the macros in a 20% carbs, 50% protein and 30% fat ratio.
Of course for any diet to work depends on age, physically activity level, body type, physical condition and nutrition.
Just curious, what's his training routine like? What time of the day does he eat? Foods that he typically eats?
He started SL 5X5 a months ago. He used the bar only for two weeks before starting to put weight on it. I wanted to make sure his form was spot on because of the knee problems he has. He works out in the morning when he gets up around 9 am ish. He then eats lunch with the kids which usually consists of an omelet or eggs of some sort and his protein shake. He uses 8 oz of milk and a scoop of the powder which totals 270 calories. The omelet is always the same, because our roommate makes it for him, so it's saved within his recipes. Some days he'll ahve some sort of fruit with it, of which she also weighs out for him. He doesn't eat again until I get home which is early afternoon. I weigh out his dinner and log it for him so I know it's done accurately. It's usually a good size dinner consisting of at least 800 calories. I also prelog 2 bags of the 100 calories per bag popcorn he will have after I go to bed.
I was thinking it might have been that idea that he was too low on calories but in the first few months when he was at 1800 he wasn't losing at all. We deducted taht he was still eating too much and lowered it more. He does have a cheat day during the weekend where he eats a good 3000 calories. We set this cheat day for the soul purpose of keepign his body from adapting to the lower calories. It's his refeed day. Does his refeed need to be longer maybe? I suggested maybe we should up his calories again to around 2000 but he is so fearful that he'll gain again. I'm not sure how to reassure him that that's probably not the case.0 -
If you're confident that his intake is accurate (he is not "secret eating" for example) it could be significant water retention, particularly given his high weight (I think it is easy to underestimate just how much water obese people are capable of retaining or losing - the high weekly losses you see on shows like the Biggest Losers aren't all fat are they?)
I would suggest raising calories to keep his sanity (which helps with compliance and greater activity generally) being consistent and being patient and holding steady.0 -
Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.0
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gaining on 1600...I don't even gain on that and I am a woman...
he is eating more than you think...or your roommate...
beside 1600-1800 for a 300lb guy is not enough so I suspect he is starved on the food you are allowing him...and eating other stuff...that's what I would do.
He is your husband no a kid let him do this...let him weigh his food, decide on his calories etc.0 -
I agree he's secret eating. And tell him to man up and take care of himself. Why are you treating him like a child?0
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Oh and there's the judgement starting rather than the support. Yes, I'm fully aware of how the forums work here at MFP. I guess this thread has reached it's limit already. Feel free to close it now before it gets out of hand. Thank you all that gave advise.0
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madhatter2013 wrote: »Oh and there's the judgement starting rather than the support. Yes, I'm fully aware of how the forums work here at MFP. I guess this thread has reached it's limit already. Thank you all that gave advise.
Posting history matters. Like how you don't tip but do all this for your husband who keeps failing to realize that it's easy to lose weight once you know what you are doing.
From me looking in it sounds like you want him to do this but he doesn't want to or he would do it and ask questions. You weigh out his meals.
that is pretty funny.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »madhatter2013 wrote: »Oh and there's the judgement starting rather than the support. Yes, I'm fully aware of how the forums work here at MFP. I guess this thread has reached it's limit already. Thank you all that gave advise.
Posting history matters. Like how you don't tip but do all this for your husband who keeps failing to realize that it's easy to lose weight once you know what you are doing.
I never once said I don't tip. I only ever gave my reasonings for not agreeing with it. I do all this for my husband because I love him. I do whatever he needs me to do and I would expect him to do the same for me.0 -
madhatter2013 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »madhatter2013 wrote: »Oh and there's the judgement starting rather than the support. Yes, I'm fully aware of how the forums work here at MFP. I guess this thread has reached it's limit already. Thank you all that gave advise.
Posting history matters. Like how you don't tip but do all this for your husband who keeps failing to realize that it's easy to lose weight once you know what you are doing.
I never once said I don't tip. I only ever gave my reasonings for not agreeing with it. I do all this for my husband because I love him. I do whatever he needs me to do and I would expect him to do the same for me.
But he doesn't want to do this or he would do it so does that mean he doesn't love himself enough to want to better his health?
Does he not want to live a long lasting life with his wife?
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madhatter2013 wrote: »Hello, I am also 6'3 and was 340 pounds ex powerlifter/shot putter/weightlifter, but have lost around 30 pounds and continue to lose 2 pounds every week. My goal is to be 270.
The problem with your hubby's diet is that a 330 pound body requires more than 1600-1800 calories due to energy requirements and expenditure, sounds like he has hit a plateau.
The body has an adaptive survival mechanism which kicks in and it causes retention of more fat to be stored and to deal with what it believes is imminent starvation, bloating can also be because of high sodium intake and or kidney issues.
My advice would be to cycle calories either in an ascending and or an descending fashion where by he starts the week with 1600 and works his way up to 2500 calories and does the opposite the next week so the body cannot adapt.
I would break down the macros in a 20% carbs, 50% protein and 30% fat ratio.
Of course for any diet to work depends on age, physically activity level, body type, physical condition and nutrition.
Just curious, what's his training routine like? What time of the day does he eat? Foods that he typically eats?
He started SL 5X5 a months ago. He used the bar only for two weeks before starting to put weight on it. I wanted to make sure his form was spot on because of the knee problems he has. He works out in the morning when he gets up around 9 am ish. He then eats lunch with the kids which usually consists of an omelet or eggs of some sort and his protein shake. He uses 8 oz of milk and a scoop of the powder which totals 270 calories. The omelet is always the same, because our roommate makes it for him, so it's saved within his recipes. Some days he'll ahve some sort of fruit with it, of which she also weighs out for him. He doesn't eat again until I get home which is early afternoon. I weigh out his dinner and log it for him so I know it's done accurately. It's usually a good size dinner consisting of at least 800 calories. I also prelog 2 bags of the 100 calories per bag popcorn he will have after I go to bed.
I was thinking it might have been that idea that he was too low on calories but in the first few months when he was at 1800 he wasn't losing at all. We deducted taht he was still eating too much and lowered it more. He does have a cheat day during the weekend where he eats a good 3000 calories. We set this cheat day for the soul purpose of keepign his body from adapting to the lower calories. It's his refeed day. Does his refeed need to be longer maybe? I suggested maybe we should up his calories again to around 2000 but he is so fearful that he'll gain again. I'm not sure how to reassure him that that's probably not the case.
No, not that his refeed needs to be longer, but enough to satisfy him and stop adaptation from occurring. If you upped his calories to 2000 I think you will see better results, and remember, stressing out make you hold on weight!0 -
And now the denial and anger from the OP when she doesn't get the affirmation she wanted to hear. Yes, this is definitely the circle of life of MFP threads.madhatter2013 wrote: »Oh and there's the judgement starting rather than the support. Yes, I'm fully aware of how the forums work here at MFP. I guess this thread has reached it's limit already. Feel free to close it now before it gets out of hand. Thank you all that gave advise.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.
I was at a deficit. Lots of people swell after a workout. I was running and/or lifting almost every day. My clothes were tighter around the arms and thighs. As my body fat decreased, the clothing got looser. But they would still be tight in certain areas after particular exercises (heavy squats and running).
I've always retained a lot of water-and even at my size (5'7" and 145) I can hold onto almost 10 pounds of water weight. If he is truly eating at a deficit and recently started lifting-I think it's definitely possible to hold onto 10 pounds of water. If it continued, or if the original post said months rather than "about a month" that would be a different story.
"Weight loss is not linear" is something preached on here every day. OP-give it a few more weeks before you reassess. If he continues to gain-or just not lose-it is possible he is eating more than he thinks.0 -
I just wish I was 6'3...... 0
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yopeeps025 wrote: »Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.
I was at a deficit. Lots of people swell after a workout. I was running and/or lifting almost every day. My clothes were tighter around the arms and thighs. As my body fat decreased, the clothing got looser. But they would still be tight in certain areas after particular exercises (heavy squats and running).
I've always retained a lot of water-and even at my size (5'7" and 145) I can hold onto almost 10 pounds of water weight. If he is truly eating at a deficit and recently started lifting-I think it's definitely possible to hold onto 10 pounds of water. If it continued, or if the original post said months rather than "about a month" that would be a different story.
"Weight loss is not linear" is something preached on here every day. OP-give it a few more weeks before you reassess. If he continues to gain-or just not lose-it is possible he is eating more than he thinks.
Swelling after a workout is simply inflammation...0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.
I was at a deficit. Lots of people swell after a workout. I was running and/or lifting almost every day. My clothes were tighter around the arms and thighs. As my body fat decreased, the clothing got looser. But they would still be tight in certain areas after particular exercises (heavy squats and running).
I've always retained a lot of water-and even at my size (5'7" and 145) I can hold onto almost 10 pounds of water weight. If he is truly eating at a deficit and recently started lifting-I think it's definitely possible to hold onto 10 pounds of water. If it continued, or if the original post said months rather than "about a month" that would be a different story.
"Weight loss is not linear" is something preached on here every day. OP-give it a few more weeks before you reassess. If he continues to gain-or just not lose-it is possible he is eating more than he thinks.
Thank you, I will relay your advise on to him.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.
I was at a deficit. Lots of people swell after a workout. I was running and/or lifting almost every day. My clothes were tighter around the arms and thighs. As my body fat decreased, the clothing got looser. But they would still be tight in certain areas after particular exercises (heavy squats and running).
I've always retained a lot of water-and even at my size (5'7" and 145) I can hold onto almost 10 pounds of water weight. If he is truly eating at a deficit and recently started lifting-I think it's definitely possible to hold onto 10 pounds of water. If it continued, or if the original post said months rather than "about a month" that would be a different story.
"Weight loss is not linear" is something preached on here every day. OP-give it a few more weeks before you reassess. If he continues to gain-or just not lose-it is possible he is eating more than he thinks.
Swelling after a workout is simply inflammation...
No *kitten*. It is common to hold onto water when starting a new lifting program.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.
I was at a deficit. Lots of people swell after a workout. I was running and/or lifting almost every day. My clothes were tighter around the arms and thighs. As my body fat decreased, the clothing got looser. But they would still be tight in certain areas after particular exercises (heavy squats and running).
I've always retained a lot of water-and even at my size (5'7" and 145) I can hold onto almost 10 pounds of water weight. If he is truly eating at a deficit and recently started lifting-I think it's definitely possible to hold onto 10 pounds of water. If it continued, or if the original post said months rather than "about a month" that would be a different story.
"Weight loss is not linear" is something preached on here every day. OP-give it a few more weeks before you reassess. If he continues to gain-or just not lose-it is possible he is eating more than he thinks.
Well I guess I will find out for myself. The last layoff I had was after a muscle repair surgery like 6 years ago. From there on I didn't go more than 2 weeks without some form of weight training.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »Well I had a lay off from the gym for over a month. I don't remember a lot of things written in this thread happening. Swelling before getting compact. That does not sound like a calorie deficit. Also six weeks to see a change. I can do a lot in six weeks at the gym.
I was at a deficit. Lots of people swell after a workout. I was running and/or lifting almost every day. My clothes were tighter around the arms and thighs. As my body fat decreased, the clothing got looser. But they would still be tight in certain areas after particular exercises (heavy squats and running).
I've always retained a lot of water-and even at my size (5'7" and 145) I can hold onto almost 10 pounds of water weight. If he is truly eating at a deficit and recently started lifting-I think it's definitely possible to hold onto 10 pounds of water. If it continued, or if the original post said months rather than "about a month" that would be a different story.
"Weight loss is not linear" is something preached on here every day. OP-give it a few more weeks before you reassess. If he continues to gain-or just not lose-it is possible he is eating more than he thinks.
Swelling after a workout is simply inflammation...
No *kitten*. It is common to hold onto water when starting a new lifting program.
Yep, kidneys working overtime!0 -
I wanted to say water retention. But then I read that this 6'3, 300lb man doesn't lose at 1800 calories per day. If that's the case, as much as the OP won't like it and consider this post snarky, the logging is not accurate. I'm a 5'6, 118lb semi-active female and lose on 1800 calories per day. There is no reason for a man of his size to be eating 1600 (or 1800) and either gaining or not losing. Something is not right there, he's eating more than you think.0
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It's the same reason so many women think they are getting "bulky" when they start lifting. They swell from the working out, and are still overfat, so they think they are getting super muscular. Water can do funny things to your mind when you're watching your weight.0
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I_Will_End_You wrote: »I wanted to say water retention. But then I read that this 6'3, 300lb man doesn't lose at 1800 calories per day.
But we don't know if he has stopped losing fat right? That's an unknown quantity. We know he has stopped losing weight which is something else altogether.
We do know that he was losing on that caloric intake with cardio (presumably low intensity) but also he has recently started a more intense form of exercise (lifting) which is more likely to prompt water / fluid retention.
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I_Will_End_You wrote: »I wanted to say water retention. But then I read that this 6'3, 300lb man doesn't lose at 1800 calories per day.
But we don't know if he has stopped losing fat right? That's an unknown quantity. We know he has stopped losing weight which is something else altogether.
We do know that he was losing on that caloric intake with cardio (presumably low intensity) but also he has recently started a more intense form of exercise (lifting) which is more likely to prompt water / fluid retention.
What I would add is I think OP started him calorie goal too low to start. We all know what happens as you keep losing weight. Especially with aggressive deficits.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »I_Will_End_You wrote: »I wanted to say water retention. But then I read that this 6'3, 300lb man doesn't lose at 1800 calories per day.
But we don't know if he has stopped losing fat right? That's an unknown quantity. We know he has stopped losing weight which is something else altogether.
We do know that he was losing on that caloric intake with cardio (presumably low intensity) but also he has recently started a more intense form of exercise (lifting) which is more likely to prompt water / fluid retention.
What I would add is I think OP started him calorie goal too low to start. We all know what happens as you keep losing weight. Especially with aggressive deficits.
Agree with this.0
This discussion has been closed.
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