FINALLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!
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Every mature person in a stable relationship will simply say "be the best version of yourself". Then hopefully when you have an off day (you get yelled at by your boss or get a parking ticket you didn't deserve) she'll know that you're a decent guy and will put up with you. Ask her questions and listen.
(Also it wasn't relevant during my dating days, but turn off your smart phone. Was in a restaurant recently with my daughter and a couple were on a date beside me. The guy turned off his phone in front of the date at the start...absolute killer move.)
Wow! That is incredibly helpful. Thanks0 -
Just go slowly and pay attention to her. You might listen to that song, Dear Future Husband as well.0
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.
Right on!
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Congrats on your new self confidence. It must be showing.
You could maybe ask her how she is with money, if she wants kids, if she's hoping to be married some day, if religion is important to her, what she wants out of life... you know... get the big stuff out of the way so you know if you're compatible/looking for the same thing right now.0 -
Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.
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Charliecatesq wrote: »Just don't be a dick
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ShellyBell999 wrote: »That was your confidence, not your looks.
If it's because of your looks, then she's not worth more than.....
Agreed. Before I talked to her I told myself, "20 seconds of of embarrassing confidence." And it worked
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.
LOL I wish I could get that sort of clarity out of my boyfriend! That's just too d**m easy!0 -
chivalryder wrote: »Congratulations. Your personality couldn't find you a good woman, so you managed to find someone who is more interested in your physique.
Not exactly, looks get a girl, but personality keeps one. That is why I started this thread
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Just get the basics out of the way. How often can we have sex? What cleaning am I responsible for? What bills do I pay? Probably in that order. Everything else will work itself out.
Coffee is now all over my keyboard...thanks a lot!!
OP: This pretty much covers it, though. Have fun!!!
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Jeremiah, you remind me of my boyfriend, haha. Don't be a push over, but pick your fights carefully. Don't nag and nickpick, if you won't even be thinking about what's bothering you in a couple hours/tomorrow don't make a big deal about it or mention it. Timing is everything when asking questions. Like my BF knows not to ask me anything right when I get off work, he lets me change, shower, sit down, then he asks me - I do the same for him.Every mature person in a stable relationship will simply say "be the best version of yourself". Then hopefully when you have an off day (you get yelled at by your boss or get a parking ticket you didn't deserve) she'll know that you're a decent guy and will put up with you. Ask her questions and listen.
(Also it wasn't relevant during my dating days, but turn off your smart phone. Was in a restaurant recently with my daughter and a couple were on a date beside me. The guy turned off his phone in front of the date at the start...absolute killer move.)
Aw, all this!! Esp the first part.0 -
Congrats on your new self confidence. It must be showing.
You could maybe ask her how she is with money, if she wants kids, if she's hoping to be married some day, if religion is important to her, what she wants out of life... you know... get the big stuff out of the way so you know if you're compatible/looking for the same thing right now.
Great starting questions! Ur a life saver0 -
How was your day? How can I help? What do you need from me? I'm on my way home do you need me to pick up anything on my way? she should be saying the same.0
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pineapple_pizza wrote: »Wait, how did you get a girlfriend without knowing how to ask questions?
his looks?0 -
I think getting in shape and feeling good about the way you look helps to improve your confidence and self esteem...this was probably a big factor. Positive encourages positive. Great job on your dedication to get in shape and be a better you.0
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disneygallagirl wrote: »I think getting in shape and feeling good about the way you look helps to improve your confidence and self esteem...this was probably a big factor. Positive encourages positive. Great job on your dedication to get in shape and be a better you.
Yes completely! Honestly, my confidence came from me looking in the mirror. Not the best kind, but it gave me confidence none the less. Maybe down the road my looks won't affect how I feel about myself and how I interact with others.
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asflatasapancake wrote: »Practice these two words very often, "yes, dear".
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Turn off your phone. Make her the center of your attention. If you run into people you know introduce her and then ask them to excuse the 2 of you because you want to spend time with just her. Open the door, tell her she looks beautiful, take her somewhere you think she will like, ask questions about her life. Depending on how long you have known her they can be simple things like - what are your hobbies, how many siblings do you have, where did you go to school, or if you know her fairly well be specific and ask about things you know are going on in her life like - does your mom like her new job, did you take spot to the vet, did you and Jane make plans for that surprise party. The important thing is to be interested in her, to give the impression that there isn't anything you don't want to know about her. If you are still enjoying each others company take her somewhere where the 2 of you can walk and talk so she knows you are interested in her and not just a booty call. Ask for the first kiss (its romantic). Make plans for the next contact - something like - I will call you tomorrow (and do it) or do you have plans for Sunday afternoon I was thinking of seeing a movie. Something so that she knows for sure you are interested is seeing her again.0
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