Marriage Where Only One Person is Watching Calories
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Tell him it's a good thing he's and adult, because he gets to cook his own dinner!
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MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
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MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
Since they're both willing to cook, that may be their quickest fix! But of course they're the ones who have to live with each other and deal with any residual resentments that may ensue...
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can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal
! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? 
It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
It was other people who started saying he was being childish. I was just saying that if he is, then she is, too.0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
The poster didn't say it was rude - they said it was the same level of rudeness as what OP is doing.
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MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
Since they're both willing to cook, that may be their quickest fix! But of course they're the ones who have to live with each other and deal with any residual resentments that may ensue...
It's so hard for me to see how something as simple as diet/food can cause such resentment.
Of course i'm not in their shoes or their relationship, but, come on. This is a person you love who you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Being in a relationship with someone you love should not feel so constricting, controlling, and harsh. It should feel light and free. Both of you should be able to pursue your ultimate happiness, while supporting each other as you love them as you love yourself.0 -
can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal ! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light
SNORT!
can I laugh yet?0 -
This is certainly a tough one and I can relate because although my boyfriend and I aren't married, we've been together for 8 years. He's the one that makes the majority of our dinners and he too loves his marinades, sauces and gravies. The problem isn't really that because I have stopped having him make my plate so I can reduce portions and eliminate all the sauces, etc. I think the lack of support is an issue and the fact that he is about 130lbs. overweight that is causing a rift between us.
I want him to stop overeating too, and I've tried to get him to eat healthier, to no avail. His favorite thing to make is anything fried in oil. My 16 year old son is also putting on a lot of weight and loves his meat. He's on the autism spectrum so getting him to cooperate is difficult as well.
I'm still struggling with the lbs. and need to lose at least another 15 of them........so the struggle is hard for both the body and the mind!0 -
rainbowbow wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
Since they're both willing to cook, that may be their quickest fix! But of course they're the ones who have to live with each other and deal with any residual resentments that may ensue...
It's so hard for me to see how something as simple as diet/food can cause such resentment.
Of course i'm not in their shoes or their relationship, but, come on. This is a person you love who you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Being in a relationship with someone you love should not feel so constricting, controlling, and harsh. It should feel light and free. Both of you should be able to pursue your ultimate happiness, while supporting each other as you love them as you love yourself.
The whole thing has a "food as a proxy for something else" feel to it...
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This is certainly a tough one and I can relate because although my boyfriend and I aren't married, we've been together for 8 years. He's the one that makes the majority of our dinners and he too loves his marinades, sauces and gravies. The problem isn't really that because I have stopped having him make my plate so I can reduce portions and eliminate all the sauces, etc. I think the lack of support is an issue and the fact that he is about 130lbs. overweight that is causing a rift between us.
I want him to stop overeating too, and I've tried to get him to eat healthier, to no avail. His favorite thing to make is anything fried in oil. My 16 year old son is also putting on a lot of weight and loves his meat. He's on the autism spectrum so getting him to cooperate is difficult as well.
I'm still struggling with the lbs. and need to lose at least another 15 of them........so the struggle is hard for both the body and the mind!
Have you tried doing a meal plan? Cook all your food ahead of time so that you don't have to keep telling your BF you don't want to eat what he makes? Just say "I have my food prepared for the week so no need to cook for me."
You can't convince him to lose weight, that has to come from him. You can lead by example and encourage him if he decides he wants to try. That's all there is to it.0 -
Ah, I can sympathies with you. You are almost 1/2 way to your goal of losing 70 lbs. Stick to your guns. If the DH wants melted cheese, sauce, etc., smeared all over your steamed vegges, make that "on the side" for him (if you want.) As for him cooking? Just portion out your nekked meats & veggies before he slathers it all over with what you don't want. remind him all that slathering of creams & sauces & whatnot will be more for HIM to enjoy.
My hubby & I are beyond the petty arguments of food stuffs. He eats what he wants, I eat what I want. I like tilapia cooked in the George Foreman griller & steamed veggie. He likes pasta, spuds, more pasta, and lots sauces. He's a really good chef, too. But ya know what? His cooking doesn't look good on me.
I'll repeat, Just stick to your guns. If the Boy doesn't like what's in the house for his meals, he has the cash to go make his own purchase.
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My 16 year old son is also putting on a lot of weight and loves his meat. He's on the autism spectrum so getting him to cooperate is difficult as well.
(your 16yo may be getting ready to shoot up 4-5" in puberty....unless you're family is full of shorties....just saying..happened to my nephew. At that point, they need all that protein, lol)
(oh, and just pile on the life insurance naming you as the beneficiary for the boyfriend. If he winds up 6' under, at least you will have income to live on. )
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I wish my husband would cook, but he doesn't even want to use the microwave!
If his blood work is good and he doesn't need to lose any weight, just let him put sauce or cheese or whatever on his food. If his blood work is bad/needs to lose weight, I think you should let the doctor talk to him.0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »rainbowbow wrote: »galgenstrick wrote: »MarziPanda95 wrote: »To be honest? I would complain if I were your husband, too. Plain lean meat and vegetables EVERY DAY (bar one day)? I think I'd go crazy. You also have to remember that he's a man, so his calorie needs are far greater than yours. It's just not enough for him, which is why he's adding the cheese and sauce - though that might also be for flavour, since it sounds like your meals don't currently have any. I would suggest, if you don't like using herbs and spices on your own food, at least use them on his food. There are thousands of healthy low calorie delicious foods out there. It doesn't have to always be lean meat and vegetables.
He can add his own damn spices. He's lucky enough to have someone cook for him. If he wants the cheese sauce, so be it, if he wants a hamburger or a steak on the side then he should make it, and clean up after himself.
Agreed. What is he? Your child? No. He's his own dang human being. He needs to grow up and make himself food if he wants it a certain way. And if OP is making bland unappetizing food and he's too lazy to cook than he can add cheese/sauce/whatever he wants. No complaining though, he chooses to eat what she makes.
Like others have since pointed out, he does frequently want to cook, but she won't eat it. That's just as rude as him complaining that her food is bland.
No, it's not rude for her to not want to eat what he makes. She doesn't have to eat it, just like he doesn't have to eat the food she makes. People need to take the emotion out of it.
Since they're both willing to cook, that may be their quickest fix! But of course they're the ones who have to live with each other and deal with any residual resentments that may ensue...
True!
They could try to meet halfway, with OP experimenting more with cooking or eating her SO's food, but I think effective compromise depends on how firm people are on their preferences. If OP just likes her food bland, she's going to suffer with spicier or richer stuff, same way her SO's suffering now (since he apparently can't add his cheese or whatever. I mean really now, OP, you have to just let that go).0 -
can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal ! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light
hispanic here... please don't ball us all in the same group. to me, men that don't cook are the weird ones.0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal ! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light
SNORT!
can I laugh yet?
lol go ahead be my guess 0 -
Capt_Apollo wrote: »can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal ! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light
hispanic here... please don't ball us all in the same group. to me, men that don't cook are the weird ones.
I don't think she balled anyone in the same group. She was expressing her observation, but never said all Hispanic men don't cook, just that the macho ones that she knows don't cook...0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal ! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light
SNORT!
can I laugh yet?
lol go ahead be my guess
Your guess? Or your guest?
SNORT 0 -
Capt_Apollo wrote: »can I say something without people try to shoot me? I'm saying this with all honesty kuddos for those very develop society where man actually cook their own meal ! reading your comments please don't laugh but my face is like OMG! wait send my husband to cook their own meal if he doesn't like my food? It's just that I come from a very Hispanic- sort of macho man heritage where no man I know does anything for him self other than a sandwich.
it's like is not in my ADN to even ask my man too cook his own meals.. now you gave me light
hispanic here... please don't ball us all in the same group. to me, men that don't cook are the weird ones.
hey cool! that's nice of you.. I said no man I know... I kinda don't know you; so yeah there's that.
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