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Stopping Junk Food From Coming in my House
Replies
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The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!0
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cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
When my mom was diagnosed with diabetes when I was a teenager, I stopped bringing home junk. if I had a partner with medical issues, I would stop eating the foods they couldn't. But OP is making a new lifestyle choice and insisting her partner get on board. How is THAT not selfish? Especially when there is an easy compromise suggested by many above.
Incidentally, I have never stopped anyone from eating shellfish around me, and that's a food I have a legitimate health issue with. I won't get to eat crab again, but that doesn't mean my loved ones can't. (As long as no one tries to kiss me.)0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
I don't know how it's selfish to advocate person A being allowed to eat and live their life as they see fit and not have their diet and life dictated to them by person B. Seems opposite to me.
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barbecuesauce wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
When my mom was diagnosed with diabetes when I was a teenager, I stopped bringing home junk. if I had a partner with medical issues, I would stop eating the foods they couldn't. But OP is making a new lifestyle choice and insisting her partner get on board. How is THAT not selfish? Especially when there is an easy compromise suggested by many above.
Incidentally, I have never stopped anyone from eating shellfish around me, and that's a food I have a legitimate health issue with. I won't get to eat crab again, but that doesn't mean my loved ones can't. (As long as no one tries to kiss me.)
I'm not trying to be mean at all, but after a certain weight it's no longer a lifestyle choice and becomes a health issue.0 -
She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.bennettinfinity wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?
These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.
These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.
It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Maybe her husband recognizes, as others have pointed out in this thread, that these sorts of temptations are everywhere in life and learning to deal with them will help her in the long run. Is she not going to go to a restaurant ever again? A birthday party? Does he need to change the channel when a commercial comes on for a food she is tempted by?
Again, I would love to get some more clarification from OP on what happens when she does "cave in to these foods" because there's a whole spectrum of responses that I can imagine which range from:
"Oh man I should've have had that Oreo because I said I was going to eat clean from now on"
To
"Dear God what did I do, I have been binge free for months and just ate 7,000 calories in one sitting, I need to call my doctor who is treating me for this diagnosed disorder and figure out what I need to do to regain control"
My guess is that OP falls somewhere in the middle but probably closer to the first one, but that's why I would like more clarification as that will change my response to her and I'm sure others would as well.
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i'm with your hubby. it's his home as much as it is yours, and it's disrespectful of you to demand this of him.
maybe if you keep his 'sin' food in a separate cupboard, or in an opaque tub in the fridge, and vow never to even open his. out of sight might help.0 -
Even though I tell my husband to stop buying junk food, etc. Pop tarts, chips, sugary cereal he still does. If it is in the house I eventually cave and give in and eat it. I have had this conversation with him many times and he says he does support me and that I should be able to resist the foods.
He's right.I don't know how to make it so clear to him it has to stop.
You can't. Nor, frankly, do you have a right to.Please give me some suggestions to stop my husband from bringing junk food in the housr.
Find some discipline for yourself, and it won't be an issue anymore.
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cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
The point is you only have power to control your own actions. OP is asking how to get her husband to do what she wants him to do.
If her husband was asking the question: Should I stop bringing sweets in the house or keep eating them in front of my dieting wife who is struggling? The answers might be different.
What help is it to say "Yeah, your husband should blah blah blah and support you!" to his wife? All that is occurring in that scenario is talking crap about her man with her. Nothing productive. What can she do with that? Go to him and say "On the forums everyone agrees with me that you need to be better than you are, so there!"
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She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.bennettinfinity wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?
These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.
These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.
It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.
so because the wife wants to go on a diet that the means that the husband can't enjoy the foods he likes in the comfort of his own home?
That is not a supportive environment, that is a dictatorship where the wife controls everything the husband does.0 -
She needs help, he helps her. When he needs help, she helps him.bennettinfinity wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
Sincere question: how is it selfish for the husband to not make sacrifices in support of his wife's endeavors and not selfish for the wife to ask the husband to make the sacrifices?
These are not children who stomp their feet and yell, "It's not fair!" and demand their way until a parent comes in and settles the matter.
These are adults who live together and care about each other. That means there will be compromises in lots and lots of things.
It's not about who is right. It's about two people with different desires finding a way to be happy together.
See bolded, because there's where I went wrong apparently. I thought adults made their own decisions.
Conditional prediction: if wife is successful in getting hubby to play along, we see a new post: 'SABOTAGE: How do I get my co-workers to stop bringing in treats?'0 -
Lourdesong wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »The selfishness I am reading here is ridiculous. If any person I cared about came to me and asked for my support in anything they were trying to do to improve themselves I would give it in a heartbeat. I love them and want the best for them and wouldn't dream of hindering their success just to please myself. I can't even imagine me saying "sorry, this is your problem, not mine. You deal with your issues on your own because my poptart is more important to me than you." Thank God the people in my family are not like that!
The point is you only have power to control your own actions. OP is asking how to get her husband to do what she wants him to do.
If her husband was asking the question: Should I stop bringing sweets in the house or keep eating them in front of my dieting wife who is struggling? The answers might be different.
What help is it to say "Yeah, your husband should blah blah blah and support you!" to his wife? All that is occurring in that scenario is talking crap about her man with her. Nothing productive. What can she do with that? Go to him and say "On the forums everyone agrees with me that you need to be better than you are, so there!"
+1 because truth.0 -
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask a spouse to put their treats in a cupboard so it's out of sight. It's actually a nice way to train yourself to resist treats in general if you have a period of a few weeks where it's out of sight. Willpower is a skill which needs practice, but you don't want to set yourself up for failure.
Equally, expecting your spouse to actually put their treats in a cupboard might take a bit of explaining.
Why are you losing weight? Is it so you are healthier, and can therefore have a longer, more active life together with your family? If so, tell them that. Explaining your ultimate goals for doing what you're doing can really help people get behind you in practical ways.
I never asked DH to give up his treats, but I told DH that I was losing the weight because I want to live together with him until I'm 100 and be fit enough and well enough to go on hiking vacations with him around the world and look after him and myself independently until I'm very old. And I want to do that because I love him. After explaining that, not only did he put his treats in a cupboard, but he also decided by himself to just stop eating them, because he wants that too.0 -
I never realized that compromise can be such a difficult concept.0
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I'd ask him to keep it in a locked cabinet for which I don't have a key. You can change your ways and just eat the junk, but if you don't want to eat the junk and have trouble controlling your urges there is nothing wrong wth removing the temptation. Lock that crap away.0
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If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
Good Luck OP. It will be much harder without a good support system but you can still do it.0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
OP never said he eats it in front of her. OP's complaint was him buying it and keeping it in the house, which they both EQUALLY live in.0 -
cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
I agree with this. In my family we don't expect to be treated the same by family as by strangers. Support is expected and received. My husband hides things I don't want to be tempted with but he wants on hand. He didn't argue at all when I asked him to hide the Reese cups. Rolled his eyes, maybe, but no argument.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »cindyangotti wrote: »If OP was able to control her eating she wouldn't be overweight. Maybe after she experiences some success she'll become stronger around junk but that type of discipline takes time.
I just don't get you people who think she is asking too much from her husband by asking for his support in the way she needs it. He thinks he is helping her because there are temptations at the mall and parties and restaurants? Those types of temptations are far different then having them inside my home. He can eat his junk just keep it out of her sight and don't chow down on it right in front of her.
My family doesn't have that "ME ME ME" mentality. We would do ANYTHING for each other and when I needed support in losing my weight I got it with no problem and I am thankful they were there for me in the way I needed them to be.
I agree with this. In my family we don't expect to be treated the same by family as by strangers. Support is expected and received. My husband hides things I don't want to be tempted with but he wants on hand. He didn't argue at all when I asked him to hide the Reese cups. Rolled his eyes, maybe, but no argument.
That's awesome that you both have such support. What would you do if you didn't? What if your husband did make an argument, what then? Is your success or failure contingent on his behavior? What if someone doesn't cooperate with what you say you need, how would you navigate in such a world?
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