We broke up because...

I was the only one with a heart

i couldn't handle her fuego

neither could the other men

She loved my twin brother

Wanted to share me with everyone ..including his family

I loved his family bbqs...I didnt like his family orgies

His idea of adventure was setting the house on fire.

What she couldn't understand was it wasn't the flirting that bothered me, but the small fires she kept setting to have the fireman come back out

She did like water fights when she wore white clothes

Ever since she won that contest during Spring Break down in Destin, she seemed to think wet white t-shirts were a thing of the past.