We broke up because...

nitroalley

I got the skinny on her and was shocked

Unknown

This content has been removed.

cmDaffy

He told me that I was too skinny and it made my butt too big

FabulousFantasticFifty

She blamed me for dreaming of Sam and Gerard and Thomas and Paul and Sean and Josh and Manu!

nitroalley

Kept calling out all her ex lovers instead of me.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was never around!

nitroalley

Didn't want to violate the restraining order

g44219

he had a rap sheet a mile long

FabulousFantasticFifty

As were the notches on his bed post!

g44219

lol She had more notches on her bed post than me!

nitroalley

He had a blotch on his crotch. Scary

FabulousFantasticFifty

Hated the hand carved bed I made!

nitroalley

It was bunk beds. I think that was a hint

FabulousFantasticFifty

Wouldn't let me be on top!

nitroalley

Would not let me touch her bottom

MrActiveForLife

Wouldn't let me try his sunglasses

FabulousFantasticFifty

Was always Shady

nitroalley

Ran a background check on her

g44219

thought I saw him on an episode of America's most wanted.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Turned me in to the Feds!

g44219

she turned out to be a huge drug dealer

FabulousFantasticFifty

I guess smoking all that weed made me snack waaaay too much huh?

nitroalley

Snacked on all the wrong things

g44219

lol she threatened to stab me when I hid her pot

Kvm11628

He shot smack!

FabulousFantasticFifty

Smacked me around!

nitroalley

Ate sugar smacks for dinner

FabulousFantasticFifty

Took away my Sweets! He had to go!!!

nitroalley

Came home and she was a sour puss

g44219

drank all the bourbon in the house