We broke up because...

Sniper_Chick

read to much of 50 shades of grey and wanted me to be Mr. Grey

g44219

she bought me just for men. I earned these grey hairs!

Kvm11628

He said he was ONLY just for men.

g44219

forgot to delete my search history

Sniper_Chick

found hi secret video under the mattress

Kvm11628

Posted our high-secret video to an amateur site.

Sniper_Chick

offended when she was offered a rule in an x-rated video

Alfit88

wouldn't let me be in the video

Sniper_Chick

couldn't keep up with the demand

Unknown

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RunHardBeStrong

She insisted on directing every second of my life

slimgirljo15

Wouldn't listen to constructive criticism

RunHardBeStrong

Her idea of constructive criticism included whips

Unknown

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Kvm11628

He sucked his thumb. Big baby.

Unknown

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FabulousFantasticFifty

Tried to get me to dump me baby at the Fire Station!

g44219

she had 101 Dalmatians

Unknown

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g44219

she made me sit on the floor because her dogs had the couch

slimgirljo15

Cheaterrrrrrr

g44219

she disappeared every morning around 9am without a word

J383

He always wanted to know where I was

g44219

she would never text or call

slimgirljo15

He disappeared for weeks then showed up ..clothes torn. .. .lipstick all over him ..I knew there was something fishy going on..

Kvm11628

Told me I was going to sleep with the fishes!

slimgirljo15

Wouldn't try on the concrete shoes I bought her ..

RunHardBeStrong

Tried to get me to go for a swim in the river, alone.

Kvm11628

Wouldn't go skinny dipping

RunHardBeStrong

Because she told me I wasn't skinny, made me self conscious