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We broke up because...
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read to much of 50 shades of grey and wanted me to be Mr. Grey0
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she bought me just for men. I earned these grey hairs!0
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He said he was ONLY just for men.0
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forgot to delete my search history0
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found hi secret video under the mattress0
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Posted our high-secret video to an amateur site.0
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offended when she was offered a rule in an x-rated video0
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wouldn't let me be in the video0
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couldn't keep up with the demand0
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She insisted on directing every second of my life0
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Wouldn't listen to constructive criticism0
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Her idea of constructive criticism included whips0
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He sucked his thumb. Big baby.0
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Tried to get me to dump me baby at the Fire Station!0
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she had 101 Dalmatians0
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she made me sit on the floor because her dogs had the couch0
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Cheaterrrrrrr0
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she disappeared every morning around 9am without a word0
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He always wanted to know where I was0
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she would never text or call0
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He disappeared for weeks then showed up ..clothes torn. .. .lipstick all over him ..I knew there was something fishy going on..0
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Told me I was going to sleep with the fishes!0
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Wouldn't try on the concrete shoes I bought her ..0
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Tried to get me to go for a swim in the river, alone.0
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Wouldn't go skinny dipping0
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Because she told me I wasn't skinny, made me self conscious0
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