How to approach a girl at the gym?
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anger in this thread had me like-
some people here gotta lighten up Francis and remember they're on the internet lol
For the record, i'm not angry. i don't have any issue with a girl/guy not liking if someone comes and talks to them. I am referring to people who say they would genuinely pissed. That's ridiculous to me.0 -
branflakes1980 wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.
LOL... It amazes me too. My theory is that with the Internet, the few bad apples get all this attention with "viral" pictures and videos on top of the media overblowing and focusing on negative events. If you go by the Internet and the media you would think there are rapist, gun toting, radical, racist, abusive people running around all over the place. The reality is most people are decent. Some are well meaning, but socially awkward and quirky. Very few are actually a-holes.0 -
When she is not in the middle of a set, say hi casually in passing for a few days then get on with your work out. If she beats you to it one day in saying hi, say hello and start a casual conversation. She may be interested. If she ignores you and changes her lifting days, probably not so much.0
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rjmudlax13 wrote: »branflakes1980 wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
I have been out of the game for so long I have no clue however, I guess I just don't understand what is wrong with being friendly in general anymore. It's so bizzare. I have people approach me at the gym and I am never rude. I have actually made friends with some of these guys and they are great people. Would each one of them love it if I wasn't married, absolutely but they are very respectful and genuinely nice people. In the OP's situation, (brace yourself, I'm about to pull out my inner disney princess on ya'll LOL). What if OP and this girl are meant to be, and for fear of being friendly (because apparently its a bad thing to speak to someone in the gym) he never even takes a minute to initiate conversation with her and what was meant to be now will never be, to me that would be devastating. But again, I am the kind of person that finds it fascinating that there are so many people out there with so many things to offer, and different personalities and I get sad to think that I will never be able to meet them all. I think the whole being personable thing is going away in general and that is a damn shame.
LOL... It amazes me too. My theory is that with the Internet, the few bad apples get all this attention with "viral" pictures and videos on top of the media overblowing and focusing on negative events. If you go by the Internet and the media you would think there are rapist, gun toting, radical, racist, abusive people running around all over the place. The reality is most people are decent. Some are well meaning, but socially awkward and quirky. Very few are actually a-holes.
^^
Boy isn't that the truth !!!
Its almost like its against the law to be friendly anymore or even smile at somebody any more,
But then I don't have perverts leering at me either.
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Here's my 5 step process that is sure to make the OP a winner.
Step 1: bring workout buddy to gym
Step 2: send buddy to girl with little folded up note
Step 3: stand in corner
Step 4: wait until girls friend brings back note
Step 5: open note to see if she checked "yes" or "no" next to the question,"Do you think I'm cute?"
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TheFranLover wrote: »Here's my 5 step process that is sure to make the OP a winner.
Step 1: bring workout buddy to gym
Step 2: send buddy to girl with little folded up note
Step 3: stand in corner
Step 4: wait until girls friend brings back note
Step 5: open note to see if she checked "yes" or "no" next to the question,"Do you think I'm cute?"
This method is also known as Twitter Circa 1989
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TheFranLover wrote: »Here's my 5 step process that is sure to make the OP a winner.
Step 1: bring workout buddy to gym
Step 2: send buddy to girl with little folded up note
Step 3: stand in corner
Step 4: wait until girls friend brings back note
Step 5: open note to see if she checked "yes" or "no" next to the question,"Do you think I'm cute?"
There we go... George Strait0 -
I started dating my husband after he, quite literally, was hollering at me in the gym. I had my blinders on and totally ignored him and his jimmies got rustled enough to actually stop me when I walked by him on my way out and told me I'd been ignoring him completely while he'd been trying to get my attention for the last hour. I ended up asking him out like the next day.
I actually knew him before that happened, though, so I wouldn't advise actually yelling hello at strangers. Your best bet probably is catching her on her way out of the gym. Maybe even be a bit slick and just get in the habit of a nice smile and a wave on your way past each other for a while so you can see if she's receptive to being paid attention to in the gym to begin with? Some people *really* would rather pretend to be invisible while they're getting their sweat on.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
WHAAAAAAAAAA!???0 -
rjmudlax13 wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »I can't believe how many people would be upset if someone came and talked to them at the gym... Makes me sad.
You also have to understand it from a woman's point of view. The majority of the guys at my gym prey on girls. I wear a baggy cut off and usually sweat pants to the gym and they still look at me like a piece of meat. It's disgusting. It's very rare to have a genuine guy come up to you at the gym. So from experience, no please don't come up to me. Show me you're interested in another way than interrupting me. If you want to get to k ow me and you think I'm worth the wait, then wait until I'm finished. That's all.
I'm not saying the above is true for ALL guys..
Meh, that's a cop out excuse to me. Guys get gawked at as well. Guys get looked at like a piece of meat. Wouldn't keep me from being friendly to someone who approaches me. I don't judge people based on what others do. Sorry.
Well then if you prefer people feel entitled to your time and attention at any given moment of their choosing with complete disregard for your space and level of comfort on the off-chance that they're being genuinely friendly to you, then carry on. That's your prerogative, not anyone else's.
WHAAAAAAAAAA!???
Don't try to analyze it Rj. That feeling of shock you are experiencing is merely the realization that the idea of community is not as firm as once it was.
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I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.0
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I first noticed him when he was leaving (getting in his car)....I happened to be getting into my car, as well...it's not that cray.0
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Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
Ladies are not "beaches."0 -
leonsinned wrote: »
And after that, how do you know just from leaving a post it on a car window if the person is interested?!Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
dang, y'all are getting deep; I was just trying to give the cliff notes version. We made eye contact when we both were entering our cars, so there was some type of spark there -- enough to motivate me to be so brazen and highschool with the note. Plus, on the note I indicated "the girl with the green jeep". He left me a note the day after on my windshield with his number.0 -
I like your snatch.
I prefer to jerk though.0 -
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Guns_N_Buns wrote: »leonsinned wrote: »
And after that, how do you know just from leaving a post it on a car window if the person is interested?!Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
dang, y'all are getting deep; I was just trying to give the cliff notes version. We made eye contact when we both were entering our cars, so there was some type of spark there -- enough to motivate me to be so brazen and highschool with the note. Plus, on the note I indicated "the girl with the green jeep". He left me a note the day after on my windshield with his number.
For those of you that aren't aware, this is called parkin' lot pimpin'.
word.0 -
BasicGreatGuy wrote: »Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
Ladies are not "beaches."
Don't take yourself so seriously mate, we all end up worm food in the end. :drinker:
That pretty much goes for anyone that would take offense to something not intended to offend.
Insult is a matter of intent, not interpretation.0 -
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Guns_N_Buns wrote: »leonsinned wrote: »
And after that, how do you know just from leaving a post it on a car window if the person is interested?!Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
dang, y'all are getting deep; I was just trying to give the cliff notes version. We made eye contact when we both were entering our cars, so there was some type of spark there -- enough to motivate me to be so brazen and highschool with the note. Plus, on the note I indicated "the girl with the green jeep". He left me a note the day after on my windshield with his number.
sounds like a true love story but really this would work! 0 -
Hea1thyGam3r wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
Ladies are not "beaches."
Don't take yourself so seriously mate, we all end up worm food in the end. :drinker:
That pretty much goes for anyone that would take offense to something not intended to offend.
Insult is a matter of intent, not interpretation.
no0 -
Hea1thyGam3r wrote: »BasicGreatGuy wrote: »Guns_N_Buns wrote: »I've done the post-it on the window before, anonymously, just to check whether the guy was even available or not before making it awkward. If you get rejected, would it be too awkward to work-out at that gym? It might be for her. I'd approach this very carefully, but first and foremost, I'd make it very casual as if you're only interested in being friends...that way, if it becomes abundantly clear that you don't want to pursue something, then it won't be awkward to just as smoothly back out of it.
How did you know what car he drove? See...beaches be cray.
Ladies are not "beaches."
Don't take yourself so seriously mate, we all end up worm food in the end. :drinker:
That pretty much goes for anyone that would take offense to something not intended to offend.
Insult is a matter of intent, not interpretation.
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My understanding is that while most women generally don't mind having an attractive guy walk up and talk to them, doing it in the gym is probably the least optimal situation. They're often in skimpy (workout) clothing, sweaty, not feeling exactly at their best. They're there to work out. They feel pretty exposed already. Not a great situation.
Better places - coffee shops, bars, grocery stores, college campuses, the list goes on. Lots of places to approach women and chat them up. Nothing works 100%, but there are better and worse situations for this kind of thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, ladies.
That's the case for most of us, yes. I'm of the 'I hope there's no one there' crowd. I just want to get in, train, get out. Though I know there are some women of the crowd that kind of have one eye on the fellas, just like the fellas have their eye out looking for their type of woman...
In terms of the OP, the best option is the same as most have said - wait for her to finish. If you're almost 100% certain she's giving you the come on, why not get yourself over to that squat bar too? I expect, if she's into you, she wouldn't mind a training buddy.
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TL:DR all the responses so here's my two bits:
-if she's dressed head to toe in matching lululemon, has her hair, makeup and nails done and is glistening, chances are she's there to pick up guys.
-if she's lifting heavy and sweating like a h**ker in church, she's only returning your gaze because you're creeping her out you're welcome 0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »TL:DR all the responses so here's my two bits:
-if she's dressed head to toe in matching lululemon, has her hair, makeup and nails done and is glistening, chances are she's there to pick up guys.
-if she's lifting heavy and sweating like a h**ker in church, she's only returning your gaze because you're creeping her out you're welcome
^ This!!!0 -
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »TL:DR all the responses so here's my two bits:
-if she's dressed head to toe in matching lululemon, has her hair, makeup and nails done and is glistening, chances are she's there to pick up guys.
-if she's lifting heavy and sweating like a h**ker in church, she's only returning your gaze because you're creeping her out you're welcome
/thread0 -
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