WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2105

Thanks peeps for the positive words on how I handled the weight recorder. Next week there is no meeting so I PLAN on having a big loss and showing her...(and myself) on the glorious tactics of payback come the 26th of this month.
Today I swam next to my mentor. A lady named Sue that is training for competition in Portland soon. At 77 years old she can swim twice the laps I can, and was still going strong when I limped out and went to the hot tub. Amazing lady. She did notice my arm curls I was doing on the platforms where you dive in, in every lane. I put my knees on the side of the pool and lift myself out 10 times. Also did some aquarobics on the side as my Sue was zipping by.
When we came home I promptly took a power nap! This healthy eating, and exercising takes a toll on my body!!!!

My eldest sis did give me a call back. I called both of them saying simply, "I MISS YOU, please call me." After having that frank discussion with the weight recorder I was in the mood to mend more fences. Set things straight. My thinking is not settling for what I get from people. Say what I mean, and mean what I say! My older sis and I have not always gotten along. She is 7 yrs older than me, and we have always been in different worlds so to speak. So many years of me calling her and she telling me, "Oh I was just about to call you", has a way of taking its toll on how you view your sister. I was just low on her priority list. I sent her a letter many years ago stating I was tired of our relationship being so one sided, and I was going to just stop trying so hard. Then 4 yrs ago both my middle sis, and her got divorces. Strange to be the one that has a marriage longer than my own parents and my sisters.
Now its kind of reversed. My middle sister is the one that doesn't give me the time of day, and my oldest sis is the one I can count on.
My middle sister lives 2 hrs away from me, and never came to help me, as I cared for my husband pre-transplant. I put too much pressure on her I guess, and it was easier for her to not mentally or physically "show up" for me. I guess if you don't show up, you don't feel so guilty because no one expects anything from you.
Last January I called my middle sister up, asking her how her Christmas was, (we didnt't get together, we had just spent money on traveling down to California in Sept for my middle sons wedding). Anyway, as I was talking she fell asleep. She has Fibromylasia (sp?) and used to take, or still does, viccodin, and morphine for the pain. I am supposing she is more into alcohol than pills. *sighes*
So then she calls me on my birthday in June. We talk and its wonderful, but I am cooking dinner, and she said she would call me after we get done. In 30 minutes. Of course that comes and goes. I call the next hour no answer, the next hour no answer. Crazy.
So now its August, and I am back feeling those same feelings of being low on the priority list with my middle sister. I call but I just get the machine. You would think that if you get a message from a family member saying, "I miss your voice, please call me" that you would care enough to call.
Thinking I need to maybe consult my therapist on letting go of all the expectations of what I family is supposed to be. My present life is idyllic, and wonderful. Why do I try so hard with such one sided relationships, like the one with my middle sister? She has definately given up on ours.

OOh going to make chicken fried rice for my son and husband. My son came to me today asking if I would pluuuease make it. So cute. I had yogurt/berries and bran cereal for my dinner...I know strange.

Be well all, thanks for letting me vent!
Becca feeling better in Oregon......

Carol given all your symptoms and depression being one of them might be worthwhile checking out what your doctor says. ((())).

Beth glad back is feeling better.

Putting painting chores off until Monday. Too humid. I'll work at getting our windows and window treatments cleaned.

DH is looking into AC. I am just glad we waited in a way because now we are both on the same page as what type to get. DH was for a awhile for the system of running tubes through the house. My brother tried that and prefers the wall system. This is the type I have wanted all along.

MNMargaret

Hi Ladies, another good day today..PLENTY of room for improvement..I'm on my third movie of the day...during which I do bills play Yahtzee turn laundry over suck up to the dogs etc..generally wasting time

Just checking in. I went shopping today for clothes to wear for our anniversary picture. I got a royal blue top with matching pants and then some blue and black crazy pants that the Chico's sales clerk picked out. The crazy pants are a size smaller than I normally wear, but they looked fine. Then I got DH a silky polo shirt in the same shade of royal blue. I'm going to wear the crazy pants and he is going to wear plain black dress pants. We should be cute!

Miriam, I am sorry about your cat. We list ours back in May. I still miss him.

PPS I also would like to hear about the book mentioned 52 things...

Janet OKC - I've never noticed the hit spells being related to food/blood sugar but I will pay attention to that. Thank you! I have not been eating enough (let's hear it for THAT rare problem).

Terri - These are not particularly severe. I just get really warm. Not like the floating in sweat ones I had almost 30 years ago!

Margaret - I will bring it up with the doctor if the warm spells continue along with the nausea. I just don't feel good in general, but I've been chalking it up to stress.

Y'all have been one of the bright spots in my life for, well ever since I started posting here, but particularly over the past couple of months.

As an update on the shoulder, since the six week mark has past, they seem to feel free to move my arm at will. Well, sorta. They definitely are more aggressive! On Monday, it was brought home to me that I can not lift my left arm. At all. It was very disconcerting to have my brain giving my arm a direct order to move and there was simply no response. Freaked me out a little!

I had a long conversation with God this morning and asked to have the depressing obsessive thoughts removed from my mind. There has been a loss (NOT by death) of a very close friend and that has sent me into a total obsessive state that has been a major player in the depression. That conversation, mixed with some Valium, has kept me reasonably functional today.

Oh! And the boy child finally got his financial aid figured out so we know where he will be in school this semester! Now, if I could drive and put on my own bra, I could have my house back in a week or so.

I hope some of this rambling makes sense...

Carol in NC

Beth in WNY - I had to laugh at the TV remark. A couple of years ago I sent hubby to buy a new TV he came home with a 42" or 45" or something. I said I wanted a 55", SO he took it back the next day and got a 55". I love it.

Barbie - I'd like love to be able to see the line dance performance, sounds great. I know you'll be terrific.

Janetr OKC

[quote
I have lost 4 pounds and was so proud that maybe I had finally broken through and would start loosing. But there I was wanting to buy a bag of chocolate.
Night nite, Joyce, Indiana. The one who lives in a yard full of shredded up tree and bushes.

[/quote]

Yeah for the 4 pound loss!!!

Lillian

Thanks for all the support with the loss of my precious Cobweb (aka Cobbie Wobbie). She was a tortie that spent three years at a poorly run shelter before I took her in. Slept in my arms under the covers in the winter, but never when it was hot!

Linda, darling family!

Thanks for the info on dogs and pumpkin. I would have to have someone else open the can since I am deathly allergic to pumpkin of all things! My kids could not even carve pumpkins or have them in the house or I would have an asthma attack!

Names. I was born with the last name of Fippinger. (We have been able to trace every Fippinger in the USA to one family with 14 kids that immigrated from Bavaria.) No one can spell it and a lot of people were confused about how to pronounce it. Then when my mom remarried, she changed our names, against our wishes, to our stepfather's name because SHE was embarrassed calling the school to say "This is Connie Stevens, and my daughter Miriam Fippinger will be absent today." I hated my stepfather, who beat me up a month before I left for college, so when I started college at 16 I changed my name. I am named Miriam after my maternal grandmother. She was Miriam Beth and I am Miriam Ruth. Since she was the only adult who really gave me unconditional love, I changed my last name to my mother's maiden name, Righter. She was so thrilled, she always signed herself as Miriam I and addressed letters to Miriam II. I did not want to change my name again when I got married, but I let the jerk talk me in to it since we were moving to a tiny town (200 people) in Mormon Idaho. Very old fashioned. So I insisted in my divorce that I get the name Righter back. I have one sister who persists to this day in calling me my childhood nickname of Mimi, the only person who did, and it is her grand-daughters that I am adopting, so they call me Mimi! I was intrigued to learn that Miriam means "hope for change" or "rebellion" and Ruth means compassion. It is like my name directed me to my occupation of mental health advocate, pushing for change in the system and righting wrongs that the system perpetuates. Anyway, that is my name story.

Really hot today... went for a walk early - 8 a.m. - and then in the house. Doing those pesky company books - I set the timer on the stove so that I would get out of the chair every hour and walk all around the house and then downstairs and back up....and did some laundry too...

tomorrow - DGD comes to visit... so will need to find lots to do in the house out of the heat

Nite everyone
Lillian in West Central Saskatchewan

Pip - glad the doc has decided to "fix" it. I think too , as active as you are, it's really the most sensible option.

Janetr OKC

pjnva wrote: »

Lillian- I know your struggles with your sistera first hand. I have an older sister and a younger sister and I can count the times on one had when all three have us have been getting along. Both as children and as adults. My only advice would be be true to who you are and love them both with all you have.

PJ in VA

I wish I had a sister!!! Gayle Minneapolis

Hells Bells, PIP - that x-ray looks awful! No wonder they want to do surgery. How can you even move your arm? At that point, I'd be begging for surgery like I did when my right rotator cuff was torn the 'first' time. Then, after my last seizure (a year ago) . . . hit the deck railings and stiles and tore it again. Not as bad, but, still needed surgery. So I knew what to expect.

I had a really bad accident in 1998 and they put pins and plates in my right ankle and foot and left arm. I'd set the alarms off at the courthouse. Finally, all the different Marshals got to know who I was and I did not have to go through security checks; but, when I retired and went back to visit; I'd be dumping out my purse, pulling up my sleeves and taking off my shoes; and, I'd be telling them all along, "I'm going to set it off because ..." Never could 'surprise' my former boss with a visit. Except to go to Clerk's office and have one of them take me up. Such a PITA that I just thought I would see him at home.

I just about had my left forearm taken off; and it has a real bad scar; (crushed both bones) so when people ask me about it I tell them, 'what story do you want to hear, the one where I stuck my arm in the spinning washing machine, the one about being attacked by a pit bull or the truth'? The scar used to embarrass me; but, not so much now. One reason you don't rest your arm on the window sill of a car door. September (Indian Summer) too hot but not too cold, and A/C was not working, therefore I had the windows down. I had to be 'cut out' of the vehicle and I did not remember squat. The EMT's and firemen asked me what I remembered and I said (half-jokingly) 'I damn near killed myself'. That wasn't a good thing to say. I did remember that my BF's husband had been a County/City Commissioner and the nurse who was taking care of me lived behind her. She called her because I could not even remember Louis' name or anything where they could get hold of a family member. She asked her 'if I was suicidal' and Wanda told her 'no, no - I'd never do that'. It really was an accident. That was back when car phones were attached to the floor of your car and they were bulky and heavy. I had called another friend and the dropped the phone so it would not disconnect the call; and was leaning down to try to get it ... STUPID! Next thing I remember is looking up to have a GMC truck grill almost in my windshield. They broke the windshield in the process of getting me out and I rubbed pieces of glass out of my forehead for months. They could not get a hardhat in the door, and the roof was flatten so they could not get it in the window. They used the jaws of life and a chain saw. Now, that is 'scary'. I kept screaming that the car was going to blow up. I had just filled it with diesel fuel. By the time I got out of there I was hysterical and going in and out of shock. They first took me to a little community hospital to get me stable before bringing me into town. I don't remember much of the accident, before, during, or after. Some things I still do not remember and some of that is 'sad'. Had my DGD's car seat in the front seat (buckled) and I could not tell them 'if' there had been anybody in the car with me with I wrecked. Thankfully she was not with me. It took a year before Louis would show me the pictures taken of the car when they went to get my personal items out of it. It looked like a tin can had been opened and flattened. I have no memory of them dragging me out of it, the dashboard was literally in my lap. I just 'thank God, that I lived through it'. Life is and has been way too good for me to take it lightly and not to always be thankful that God was with me that day.

Carol - yeah, really had a 'fun' childhood; as a teenager could NOT wait to get out of the 'small' town, went to Atlanta to art school and boy, talk about culture shock! Now I'm in the country out from a small town and on a dirt road and wish I had agreed to move long before we did. But, I will enjoy every day of it while I am here. I don't drive on the Interstate any more (because of seizures and my granddaughters who were in the car with me when I had a seizure and rolled the car about 3 1/2 years ago) ... won't get in the car with me driving. Not that I blame them, I'm sure they were frightened. But, it makes it where DOS and DDnL have to pay $60 a month to ride the bus to Albany. I told him that when Madison gets her 'learner's license' I'll drive to school and pick them up and let her drive home. He said, 'that'd work for me'; but, I guess we'll see how Madison feels about it after December. I think having 2 older sisters helped me learn a lot of things to do and not do in order to stay out of trouble. But, several times we'd climb out the windows and crawl over a magnolia limb that hung over the porch and shimmy down it to meet up with friends and terrorize some of them (girl- and boyfriends). We'd sunbath out on the top porch even though Daddy forbade us to get on the roof. We'd have our towels out there and when we saw him drive up, we'd get back in the house. I don't think my sister that went to school with you ever did the sneaking out; or that is what she says anyway. LOL!!!!! Oldest sister and I were the more daring ones in the household. I figured it was easier to ask for 'forgiveness' than to ask for 'permission'. LOL!!!!! Several of my friends who were summer camp lifeguards and I bought the biggest bra we could find at K-mart and hung it on the Confederate soldier on the town square and the police rode by and never looked up . . . we would have hung a jock strap on him; but, he would hold his legs up. I know you lived out in the country; but, we'd spends hours at night riding around, out to the Interstate, around the square, by the Legion Hall, out to the pool, down gasoline alley and to the DQ and sit 'on the wall'. My B-n-L (oldest sister's husband) thinks that I have 'selective' memory because I can tell a story about something we did as children/teenagers and Margaret remembers some of them; but, Suz has 'no memory' (or that is what she says). Margaret was too busy making good grades (like all "A's"). I think we had more fun (Suz and me).

I am not sure how to join a post I loved reading these posts and I think joining would motivate me. I am 57 and live in Michigan. I started mfp in February and have done ok for the most part. I was down 17 pounds but had a vacation where I completely messed up and gained 5 pounds in a week so i am starting again this week. It was a great vacation though with my two young adult daughters and I made them beautiful meals every night. I work long stressful days and sometimes i am just so tired that I ignore what I know I should be doing because it is just so hard. Here are my goals,kind of easy goals at first.
1 Walk 10000 steps twice a week Not easy for me!!!! 2. Log it all
3. Do something fun for one hour ada. 4 add a new goal every week

Oops Melinda