Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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girldownsouth wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Guys, I appreciate extra marital affairs are a hot button issue, but can we tone down the judging please? We have a lot of people on the thread and we don't know their circumstances. We can't judge until we've walked a mile in their shoes. Then we're a mile away, with new shoes
FWIW, I've been both the other woman and been cheated on (different men, both before I was age 20). Believe me when I say I know karma kicked my butt for choices I made. I could put it down to immaturity. Sometimes, despite having a moral compass, emotions can lead to terrible decisions. I don't excuse what I did in the past, but look at it as an experience that brings me here today.
And now, I practice ethical non monogamy, everything is open, there is no need to lie or go behind anyone's back. That said the smarties and I are closed, which means none if us want or are looking for any other partner or playmate, but if anyone did, it would be openly discussed.
But given social norms and pressure to conform, most people will do the underhand thing and hope they don't get caught, because the idea that you can be with, or love more than one person at a time is not yet acceptable. No one person should be under pressure to meet all the need, wants and desires of another person.
I have absolutely no issue with anyone being with or loving more than one person at a time as long as everyone involved knows the score... just don't make a commitment of exclusivity with one and then play around. If you can't be monogamous, don't pretend to be.
It's not the multiple partner aspect that bothers me, it's deception.
edit: grammar
But sometimes we are cowards and the right thing is a very difficult decision to make.
I know... life sure isn't black and white... nor am I going to pretend that I've always taken the moral high ground in every one of my life's choices.
However, I've been acquainted with a couple of blatant, open, unrepentant serial cheaters who not only deceived their spouses, they also misled the "lovers" about the state of their marriages (i.e. separation imminent). One of them has recently destroyed a second marriage because of infidelity. I can allow for some foolish mistakes, but find it more difficult to overlook a repeated deliberate course of action.0 -
Hi Everyone!! I'm checking in from page 1513. I had a wonderful vacation, though didn't get to run/exercise like I hoped because there was a health advisory posted regarding the very high amounts of smoke in the air (from the wildfires). It was so hazy and weird the whole time! The health advisory basically said to stay indoors to avoid excessive exposure to the smoke. We did manage 2 walks/runs and a few hours of fishing at a river (well, Mr. Jenni fished while I played with our niece and nephew along the bank).
I am up 3 lbs, dang it. I was definitely grumpy about that this morning, but I got on the exercise bike and started the process of losing it. Heh...
I'll check in to the Bat Cave later! I hope everyone is doing well and that @FroggyBug also had a fabulous vacation!! Thank you for all the birthday cards and wishes, too!! Y'all are so SUPER GREAT!!
Welcome back! I was going to post last night you should be headed back, we missed you! Glad you had a great vacation and don't worry, 3 lbs is nothing. You'll get rid of that in no time!0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »Glad you had a good vacation, Jenni!
Boo about the 3 pounds..I'm sure some is just water weight. But that's great that you're already tackling it!
Agreed, glad you had a great time. Nice to see you back.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »My parents separated when I was pretty young and I remember not being too upset about it. My father had MS and my mother had to help lift him into bed, get him dressed, help him to the toilet, etc. Finally it became too much for her to handle and he moved out into his own apartment where a nurse could look after him. I saw him pretty much the same because he was always in hospitals and I was able to sympathize with my mom who seemed very stressed.
I knew they would never get back together and I thought that was for the best.... I saw my dad on the weekends and eventually moved in with him to help take care of him (also I was going through a rough patch with my mom). But I never held their separation against mom or thought less of her for it.
Before my dad died he told me that my mom's new husband seemed like a really nice and lovely person. When I told my stepdad this he cried and said my dad was an honorable and strong man. Sniffle...
Aw wow what an amazing man! This really hits
home for me as my sister in law has MS. I remember my dad talking to my brother about marrying her just wanting my brother to realize when you say for better or for worse, you mean it 100% and she has MS. My brother said I know dad I love her more than anything and I'm willing to take care of her the rest of her life
I have the best big brother in the world 
for both stories 0 -
Welcome back @jthurman. We missed you !!0
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@pofoster21 it is a public holiday here, we call them bank holidays. Unfortunately it's been very rainy though, as seems to be consistent for a bank holiday here.0
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girldownsouth wrote: »@pofoster21 it is a public holiday here, we call them bank holidays. Unfortunately it's been very rainy though, as seems to be consistent for a bank holiday here.
A rainy day at home is better than a day at work 0 -
girldownsouth wrote: »@pofoster21 it is a public holiday here, we call them bank holidays. Unfortunately it's been very rainy though, as seems to be consistent for a bank holiday here.
So to confirm, that means you are off work?0 -
*post date update*
first date #14
interacting online and via text, things were pretty cool.
good, fun interactions, actual conversations that moved past the "hi, how's your day going?" type thing.
but despite fun convo, dude kinda seemed like he was never going to actually ask me out, so on friday, i was like hey, if you wanna hang out let me know! so then we ended up going to a local place that evening.
in person, it was....awkward?
he was really quiet and withdrawn. which, i get the whole nervous first date type thing, but usually after a few hours, that lightens up a little. only it didn't. he just didn't seem very interested, and that's totally fine. but it still feels weird. so after a few hours, a few beverages, my filter ceases to exist, and upon saying good night (no attempt at a kiss or even a hug), the phrase "you poor boy" slipped out. eep.
que the ensuing text argument wherein any chance of a second date was destroyed. so despite what appeared to be a total lack of all interest, dude says he had a good time. but of course at this point, i'm all angsty and annoyed and say as much in regards to his stand-offishness, to which he does the fine, it's all me whatever, thing.
done and done.
i miss mr.jerkface more than i care to admit
ETA: i fully realize now that the poor dude is just introverted and my lame butt should be a bit more understanding. i couldn't relate the very fluid texting interactions with the in person differences. i really should try a bit harder....0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »saraherren wrote: »A guy that I met over July 4 weekend who is old enough to be my father is really interested in me and I have no idea what to do.
*EDIT* I happened to "go all the way" with a neighbor in my apartment complex about a month ago and now I deeply regret it I've only known him for just over 2 months. We talked for 3 or so days after the fact, but haven't since my dog passed away on August 1. I've seen him once since when I walked by his apartment while I was walking back to mine after getting my mail, and all we did was wave to each other.
Neighbor guy: what's done is done. Move on...
Older guy: I guess the question is are you interested as well? I would think it wouldn't work out, but stranger things have happened.
My sister (age 46) is in a relationship with a man the same age as our dad (73) It can work.0 -
I have a four day weekend coming up. Boise State Football and camping. I'm so excited. Come on, Friday!!!0
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*post date update*
first date #14
interacting online and via text, things were pretty cool.
good, fun interactions, actual conversations that moved past the "hi, how's your day going?" type thing.
but despite fun convo, dude kinda seemed like he was never going to actually ask me out, so on friday, i was like hey, if you wanna hang out let me know! so then we ended up going to a local place that evening.
in person, it was....awkward?
he was really quiet and withdrawn. which, i get the whole nervous first date type thing, but usually after a few hours, that lightens up a little. only it didn't. he just didn't seem very interested, and that's totally fine. but it still feels weird. so after a few hours, a few beverages, my filter ceases to exist, and upon saying good night (no attempt at a kiss or even a hug), the phrase "you poor boy" slipped out. eep.
que the ensuing text argument wherein any chance of a second date was destroyed. so despite what appeared to be a total lack of all interest, dude says he had a good time. but of course at this point, i'm all angsty and annoyed and say as much in regards to his stand-offishness, to which he does the fine, it's all me whatever, thing.
done and done.
i miss mr.jerkface more than i care to admit
Stupid frogs. I wish I could just conjure up Mr. Right-for-you and send him your way! 0 -
riderfangal wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »@pofoster21 it is a public holiday here, we call them bank holidays. Unfortunately it's been very rainy though, as seems to be consistent for a bank holiday here.
A rainy day at home is better than a day at work
You have a good point!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »@pofoster21 it is a public holiday here, we call them bank holidays. Unfortunately it's been very rainy though, as seems to be consistent for a bank holiday here.
So to confirm, that means you are off work?
Yep. Off work 0 -
YAYYY!! Welcome back @jthurman3 you were missed very much!! Sounds like you and Mr. Jenni has a fabulous time! And don't worry about the 3 lbs they'll be gone in no time! 0
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quiksylver296 wrote: »I have a four day weekend coming up. Boise State Football and camping. I'm so excited. Come on, Friday!!!
Yayyy!! Lucky! I only have a three day weekend Thank you labor day! 0 -
@KylerJaye sorry to hear it didn't go well, he sounds boring anyhow, thanks for sharing though I love your dating updates!! And I know it's hard about Mr Jerkface we've all had those but give it some time and you'll be better! 0
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@pofoster21 I'm staying up to date too as I always seem to miss monument moments of high page numbers!!0
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I'm going to keep posting until it hits 1550...I WILL be a part of this! haha0
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Friday night ball game was great!! Son's team won!! We hope to get to the state finals again this year. They are off to a good start so far. Thanks for all the well wishes on my fall. Hate to be so absorbed in what I am doing that I can't see things, but this thing really wasn't very visible. My hand looks better, but I don't think I will be able to do squats until next week. My knee is a bit twingy when I bend it, so I am taking it easy on that. I can walk pretty well, so my fitbit people, I am after you this week!!0
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